Chapter 1
A pillow was tossed across the couch and bounced gently off the side of Remus’s head, with a light thump knocking his glasses slightly askew. He glanced up to the redhead sitting opposite him.
“Lily.” he sighed, unceremoniously tossing the pillow back across the couch missing her entirely.
“What?! You weren't responding” Lily grinned back, head tilted inviting him to retaliate her attack beyond his poorly aimed toss.
“And that warranted you nearly knocking my glasses off you git?”
Remus replied , and then smiled faintly letting his eyes fall back down to the paper lying precariously on his lap along with the heaps of other homework the two had been working on.
“Speaking of glasses, why are you wearing yours?” she asked, ignoring his insult.
“Hmm?” he hummed
“-In the common room of all places. You hate people seeing you in ‘em” she continued not hearing his confusion.
Remus took a second to respond, as if he was letting her words settle into actual sense. Finally he mumbled out “It’s late, and we’re the only two in here.” a beat. “Plus my eyes hurt.”
“Your eyes hurt?”
“Yes Lily”
Lily picked up on the annoyance laced in her friend’s response, and cocked an eyebrow at the boy.
“It's nothing” Remus mumbled trying to brush her off, but Lily raised her hand to stop him, quietly screwing her eyes shut to think. As the date came to the forefront of her brain she screwed her eyes tighter. Shit.
“Oh Remus. It’s in two days isn’t it” There was no response, but the absence of such spoke volumes, and Remus had now laid his head to rest in his hands, pushing his glasses up into his hair.
Lily lightly swatted the side of his arm, “You should have told me! I would have done” she gestured to the mass of homework they were working on together piled out in front of them. “All of this! Seriously I wouldn’t have minded. MERLIN Remus! I would have taken your notes, I,” Lily let her eyes travel to the watch on Remus’s arm, “Oh god, i'm so sorry, you should have gone to bed hours ago.”
Lily was intent on continuing her apologetic mothering rant when Remus gently shushes his friend. “Lily, I love you dearly, but this is so far from your fault. Please stop apologizing”
“I’m sor-” Lily started, and was greeted by a feeble smile of Remus finally lifting his head from his hands, and she returned it with a sheepish grin before both settled back into uneasy frowns.
“Remus,” she continued “You know I say these things because I worry about you. I say ‘i'm sorry’ because I truly am; you are the last person who would ever deserve this, and I just want you to feel and be better.” There was silence that followed, and Lily thought that maybe Remus was just going to ignore her, then suddenly, like a switch flipped, he spat out,
“Well I'm never going to be better am I? So I don’t need your fucking sympathy Evans” came a clipped reply.
Lily, taken aback, narrowed her eyes. “Remus Lupin.” she hissed in a tone that could only be interpreted as the ‘i’m not angry i’m just sorely disappointed’.
“Damn it” remus stutterd out realizing he’d overstepped, “Im just” he paused “i'm just in a shitty mood”
“I can tell,” Lily responded dryly.
“But, I have every right to be” he countered bitterly
“I suppose you're not wrong” Lily sighed folding her arms loosely around her chest, “Is this ‘shitty mood’ why you’re avoiding your friends”
“I’m not avoiding them”
Her eyebrow raised in accusation.
“God, I don't even fucking know. I guess I don’t want to be snippy and piss them off.” Remus finally admitted.
“Oh and you're fine pissing me off?” Lily prodded layering on the sarcasm, so Remus would not worry that she actually harbored any ill feelings.
“It’s different” he paused. Lily giving him a minute to gather his thoughts.
Finally he continued, “I want them to still come, and help me. With, ya know, and not be pissed and say to hell with it”
The smile was wiped from Lily’s face, “I Know” she added softly, and Remus’s head fell lazily back into his hands and Lily watched as he dug the bottom of his palms deep into his eyes. They sat in silence for a few minutes before some younger students made their way through the portrait hole giggling and seemingly uncaring to the time or Lily’s very noise sensitive friend. The painting door slammed loudly behind the two; causing a miserable wince from Remus as his hands slowly made their way to cover his ears.
Pissed, Lily whipped her head around the back of the couch and glared at what she assumed to be two obnoxious third years. Not wishing to create any more noise for poor Remus she resorted to an obscene hand gesture at the pair and then an aggressive flick of her hand to quickly scatter them back to their respective dormitories. Not the most prestigious thing she could have done as head girl, but she took mental note of their appearances to scold appropriately later.
She then turned back to a quietly whimpering Remus, and frowned deeply with pangs of inconsolable sympathy bouncing inside her.
Lily, as quietly as possible, removed the notebooks from her and Remus’s lap to the coffee table in front of them and lifted her bag up to the couch. She took out a book she was in the middle of reading and leaned behind to remove the blanket from where it lay stretched over the back of the couch. Reaching over with every amount of extension her arms could muster, she snagged the pillow from where Remus had poorly thrown it, and placed it in her lap.
She brushed her fingers across Remus’s shoulder to secure his attention, and when their eyes met, she smiled and then asked softly,
“Can you trade me your glasses for this blanket so I can read.” Lily tossed the blanket at him, and shifted to make herself comfortable.
“Huh?” Remus mumbled confusedly while he unconsciously began to wrap the blanket around himself.
“We use similar strength reading glasses. Remember?” Lily took care to gingerly place her quill and ink she had been using for homework on the table with the gentlest of clicks.
“Yes, I remember but, why, I-” a pause as Lily felt his eyes travel over her to find an endgame to her actions, “what are you doing?” His brows furrowed in confusion.
Lily let out a soft laugh and she patted the pillow in her lap slightly.
His eyes widened with a new found understanding,
“What no, Lily, I’m fine” Remus tried, miserably failing, to squirm away.
“I’ll just go up to bed” Remus tried to protest all the while Lily was softly pushing his shoulders down until his head collided with the pillow for the second time in the evening. Lily could not help but grin as he melted into the cushions and her, his face turning to nuzzle into her sweater.
Slowly, she began to run her fingers through his curls; he apprehensively leaned into her touch, but as she gently applied pressure on his scalp an almost inaudible *hmph* of appreciation escaped his mouth.
Lily found herself drifting into her thoughts, and had all but forgotten about her plan to finish her book, when a hand stuck up into her direct line of vision,
“Mhereyougosorryfogot” the jumbled words accompained the hand gently waving in front of her face.
“Hmm?” she asked before noticing Remus’s was offering his glasses that she had asked for earlier,
“oh. Thank you” Lily then placed the tortoise framed glasses on the bridge of her nose, removing one hand from his mess of curls to grab her book and wand, then quietly muttered “wingardium leviosa” with a swish and flick of her wand to allow the book to hang in the air in front of her.
Then once the book was appropriately floating, she took her wand and wrapped her hair around it, maneuvering her wrists in an unconscious motion of muscle memory, until her hair was held up tightly and out her face by her wand. A common hairstyle she partook in for its ease and the fact she nearly always had her wand on her, but was quite forgetful when it came to having a hair band.
Suddenly Remus offered, “You and your sweater are very soft and…….warm,”
Lily felt the words reverbiate into her stomach, as he spoke, and she was sure Remus could also feel the chuckle she returned.
“Your hair is also quite soft,” she said, pausing the massage of his hair to place the back of her palm on his forehead. “Merlin Remus, and you’re warm.”
“M’fine. It always happens a few days before. Low grade fever. Ask Pompfrey about it blah blah '' his words trailing off into a yawn as he dismissively waved his hand against the couch obviously trying to calm her. However, Lily found that he had only succeeded in the exact opposite as she pointedly sighed in worry.
Minutes passed with no words spoken, and Lily fell into the assumption that Remus was stumbling his way into a sort of fitful slumber. However, he finally piped up so softly Lily could just barely hear his voice over the patterning of the rain that had just begun to fall against the window behind them.
“Lily?”
“Yes” she spoke delicately, lowering her voice even lower than she had been speaking before.
Remus’s words slow and spaced far apart, as if each word took every ounce of his energy,
“Don’t you have to sleep?”
Smiling Lily acknowledged his worry with the story of her oversleeping this past morning and the caffeinated tea she had accidentally drank after five pm, but it occurred to her that he was no longer listening as his breathing finally evened, albeit still too shaky for her liking, and she sighed a much needed relief that he had at least found some sort of rest.