Chapter 1
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this”
Sitting in a book café alone with her thoughts sat Hermione Granger, Staring blankly at a cooling cup of tea and a book she's read at least a hundred times.
Tucked away in this little café, she can’t help but think about how she got here.
To the people of the wizarding world she is a war heroine, a member of the golden trio or the smartest witch of her age. People call her all sorts of different things, they treat her like a celebrity most days.
All she sees is someone broken, tired and so very alone.
It was hard after the war. People acted like everything was fine, like people hadn’t just DIED at a SCHOOL. Like literal children hadn’t just sacrificed their lives at the one place they were supposed to be safe. The world kept moving and everyone kept going on with their lives like they hadn’t just spent the last who knows how long fighting FOR their lives. Everyone but her it seemed.
Things started off okay after the war was won. She and Ron had shared a kiss in the Chamber of Secrets and after everything was said and done and the war won, they started their relationship. Everyone was so thrilled that they were finally getting together. It seemed like everyone just expected it. Like it was meant to be… Don’t get her wrong she loved Ron and she was ecstatic to be with him but it all felt so rushed and… empty.
At least she had the Weasleys. Ron never missed a chance to tell her how lucky she was to have them. She agreed with him even if he was overbearing about it. Because even with the funerals and burying Fred, the Weasleys still made her feel welcomed, like she was family. They were all so kind and even after her and Ron moved out into their own flat Molly and Arthur told her she was always welcome to come over whenever she wanted. Told her she was family. It was sweet.
But she just wanted her parents.
She wanted to cry into her dad’s arms while her mother whispered soothing words to her like when she was a child. She wanted to mourn those that were lost, but it was like she wasn’t able to get the time to. There was always something that needed to be done or Ron telling her she was needed at the Burrow. Alone time was not something she was afforded, it was like he wanted to be by her side at all times. Only doing what he wanted and never what she wanted. It was like he kept her on a short leash just to parade her around so people could see them together. Like she was just an object for him to show off. She just wanted to find her parents but it seemed like no one would give her the time to look or even help. It was always “You’re never home anymore Mione.” or “ All you ever do is read, why don’t you ever spend time with me or my family.” She was always with him and she was so tired of every single thing always having to be about Ron. He acted like she was never around but he never left her side! Thinking back on it, she saw it for what it really was.
Isolation.
Manipulation.
Gas lighting.
When did she stop caring about herself. When did she let everything become about Ron and what he wanted?
Merlin she felt like an idiot.
She let herself get swept away with it all and look at where it landed her. Alone. Completely alone with no one but Harry by her side.. well maybe. She hadn’t talked to him since she left Ron. Ignoring his owls, telling herself she’ll write to him soon.
That was five weeks ago.
So here she is, sitting in a little book café tucked away on the backstreets in muggle London, lost in her own head and pretending everything isn’t falling apart around her.
Sighing softly to herself as she comes out of her inner musings, she drags a hand down her face. The sound of the shop door chiming startles her back to awareness, letting in a gust of cool mid afternoon October air. Glancing up between her fingers to the door she manages to suppress a surprised gasp. There walking into a muggle book café like he'd been here a hundred times was Theodore Nott. He glanced in her direction but didn't say anything to her, just walked past her to the bookcases that lined the shop, looking for whatever struck his fancy.
Shrugging her shoulders Hermione just went back to her book, trying to get lost in the pages like she had a thousand times before but failing non the less. She thought she would be more on edge seeing someone that was on the opposite side of the war out and about, especially while she was alone. But she just couldn’t bring herself to care, she was apathetic at best with life lately. Everything was just so empty most of the time. If it wasn’t for her father telling her about his alcoholism as a young adult she would have probably picked up drinking. But she didn't want to disregard his memory like that.
After all, memories were all she had left.
Leaving a screaming Ron in their once shared flat after breaking up with him. She got herself a new flat and went off on her search, and she found them after about a week of searching. Her parents were alive and well in Australia with no memory of her, just like she had left them. She had managed to reverse the Obliviation she had cast and they were understandably upset with her. But after a very long explanation and many tears, all was forgiven. It was the happiest she had been since the war really started just over 3 years ago. They had worked out all the details and her parents were going to come back home! She was going to go back ahead of them to her new flat and update her lease so her parents could stay with her while they searched for a new house. But they never made it. The police had contacted her not long after she arrived back home via portkey and told her that her parents had died in a car accident on their way to the airport. She didn't remember too many of the details that they had said, she was in shock. Going through the funeral and everything that came with their deaths was the worst thing she had ever been through and she had survived a war.
All she could think was that she was alone now, truly and utterly alone.
Walking into his favorite café/bookstore Theo paused as he stepped inside. There two tables away from the window was Hermione Granger. He expected her to jump up and tell him to leave or something of the sort, she was the golden girl after all. What he didn’t expect was her to glance at him through her fingers as she was dragging them down her face with the emptiest eyes he had ever seen; and he had seen a lot during the reign of Voldemort. She paused still looking at him and then looked away, like she couldn't be bothered to care that there was a monster in the shop with her. Well that’s what the wizarding world called him; like he ever actually wanted to be a death eater… like he was given a choice.
Walking past Granger he made his way over to the bookshelves and began browsing. He had started venturing into the muggle world more often than not after his trial and subsequent release from custody, it was safer here. The Ministry found out he never wanted to be a death eater and that he tried his best to save the people captured without getting himself killed. He was released as not guilty but that didn’t matter to the masses, he was still a monster to them.
Finding what he was looking for ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ he glanced back at The Golden Girl. She was still sitting where she had been a few minutes ago just staring at her book. He was a little worried, sure he had never spoken to her but she looked like she needed someone, anyone. So without much more thought he went to the counter and ordered a Tea and two of their daily sweets specials not really caring what it was. Picking up his order he went over to where Granger was seated and sat in the seat across from her, sliding one of the two sweets he ordered over to her.
She didn’t startle when he sat down, just looked at him in quiet consideration like she was waiting for him to say something. After a few moments of silence she glanced at the offered sweet, it looks to be some kind of citrus loaf, and looked back to Theo.
“What are you doing here?” Her voice is quiet, sounding a touch rough from possible disuse.
“Getting away from it all," He shrugged at her. "I’m a monster Granger, didn't you know. I’m not really welcome in the streets of Diagon Alley anymore.” He nonchalantly replies, as if he's just talking about the weather.
“None of us were ever monsters.” She replies somberly, her tone is empty, hollow. “We were children forced to fight in a war we had no business being in.”
He’s quiet for a moment and then he looks at her, really looks at her. She knows she looks a right mess, with bags under her eyes and her cheeks aren't as full as they once were. There's nothing she can do about it now, not that she really cares either way. She’s surprised to see his lips pull up into a slight smile and he responds “I think you and I are going to get along quite well Miss. Granger.” His voice has almost a teasing lit to it. She’s surprised when she huffs out an amused breath “Maybe we will Mr. Nott.” She replies.
Glancing down at her now cold tea she can’t help but think maybe her and Theodore aren’t so different after all. Like two sides of the same coin. When she looks at him she can see almost the same hollow eyes as she sees in the mirror. He just puts on a mask, whereas she just doesn’t care anymore to even try.
“What are you doing here all alone Granger.” He asks, startling her out of her head.
“Getting away from it all.” She says, reiterating his previous words back at him. “I am surprised to see you here though. And thank you. For the sweet, that was kind of you.” She picks off a piece of the citrus loaf and pops it in her mouth. It's sweet but not overly so. It reminds her of something her mother would have liked.
“You're welcome. I came across this bookstore, café mix shop a few months ago and I fell in love with it. I’ve always loved to read. Not that my father liked that, nasty man he is. I'm so very glad he's rotting in Azkaban, where he belongs.” His response is still said nonchalantly but his eyes are hard and sharp like broken glass. He gives her a fake smile. All sharp edges and broken glass, it;s a dangerous look. “Best thing I’ve been able to do with the family fortune is spend it in the muggle world.” He’s smirking as he says that last bit and it brings a slight smile to Hermione’s face. It surprises her that the most positive emotion she's felt in weeks is brought about by a relative stranger.
“The shop is called a Book Café, they really are the best of two shops in one.” She’s quiet for a moment and then cautiously adds “You must have had a rough childhood if you feel that way about your father being in Azkaban.” She’s not sure what possessed her to say that. They aren’t even friends but it's too late to take it back now.
He studies her for a moment, his face carefully blank. “He’s a death eater. A death eater by choice. He believes all that blood supremacy crap. He is a horrible man, and he never deserved my mother. I’m glad I never have to see him again.” He looks vaguely surprised by his mini rant.
“My parents are dead.”
It's quiet for a moment, she's not sure who said that. But then she realizes that it came out of her mouth and she is horrified. She glances up at Theodore and is surprised to see concern on his face. She opens her mouth to say something, anything but all that comes out is a choked sob. Belatedly she realized that is the first time she has ever said that out loud. And now, it is even more real than it was before.
She hunches over in her seat trying to stop herself from falling apart and attempts to stifle the sobs when all the sudden she is pulled into a broad chest and strong arms wrap around her.
She shatters.
Theo was surprised when he sat down with Hermione Granger and actually had a conversation with her. She was more open minded than he thought she would be, but he can tell that something terrible has happened and she is NOT coping well. So when she said her parents had died after his mini tangent about his father he's not surprised. Saddened for her yes, but he grasps some of what is going on to make this once bright and fierce woman he saw at school and at war, a shell of her former self. He’s sure there is more going on still but this seems like a good bit of the problem.
Its surprising that he even cares about her, let alone her problems. But she has been one of the few people to talk to him like he is a person, hell even talk to him in general. Even though he was the one that started the interaction. She looks like she needs someone on her side and something in him is telling him that she needs him as much as he needs her. She needs an honest friend and well, he could use one too.
Standing from the table Theo goes around and pulls Hermione to him. She is trying so hard to keep herself together that when he hugs her, she falls apart completely.
Like she never gave herself the chance to mourn, he wouldn’t be surprised if that was actually the case. He looks around and sees that the café staff have stepped into the back to give them some privacy. They are the only two people in the shop.
Looking down at Hermione sobbing into his chest he decides she needs some privacy for a proper breakdown and well, he has a whole manor to himself, so he says “Hermione, you need some privacy and I would like to get you out of here but I don't want to leave you by yourself in this state. Is it alright if I bring you to Nott Manor? Nothing will happen to you there. I have the whole manor to myself and you can scream and cry as much as you need to. Is that okay? You can even destroy a few rooms if you want.” He sees her nod her head into his chest.
Glancing around one last time to make sure they’re alone he grabs her bag and apparates directly to Nott Manor. It says a lot to him that she is willing to go with a relative stranger to their house instead of her home and it makes him just that much more worried about what is going on in her life.