eight
Waking up the next day, Alessia had hardly slept, and her body felt sluggish. The events of the previous days - particularly the ones with Leah - were still heavy in her chest. She had just begun to process the mess between them, yet everything seemed tangled, leaving her unsure of what to feel or how to move forward. Did she really want to talk to her now?
After dragging herself out of bed, Alessia got changed and went out to meet Lotte for breakfast. Her friend had noticed her strange moods during the previous days and was quick to ask what was going on. Alessia, knowing Lotte could tell something was up, couldn’t keep it bottled inside anymore. It felt like the right time to let it all out, to share the burden with someone who would understand. She knew Lotte wouldn’t judge, that’s what she loves most about her.
After a quick hug, they ordered from the menu and while waiting for their food, Lotte glanced up at her with a concerned look. "You’ve not been you lately. What's going on, Less?"
Alessia hesitated at first, but the floodgates opened as soon as she began talking. "I… I don’t even know where to start. Last night, Leah apologised to me. But there’s so much more to it."
Lotte leaned in, sensing the weight of the moment. Alessia continued, her voice soft but filled with a mix of frustration and vulnerability.
"After our win against Man City on the weekend… Leah kissed me in the car park. And when she told me she liked me, I just froze. I didn’t know what to say. I mean, I liked her too, but I couldn’t process it at that moment. I didn’t know if it was real, or if it was just the adrenaline of the win, or… or if she was just caught up in the moment."
Lotte nodded, understanding how the emotions of a big win could blur the lines. "So, what happened after that?"
"Last night," Alessia said, pausing for a moment, her eyes lost in thought. "After the game, I went to her place. I was ready to tell her that I liked her back, that I felt the same. Because I had a few days to think about it by myself. But when I got there… She was with another girl. I just... I couldn’t do it. I turned around and left."
Lotte’s eyebrows furrowed, the disappointment in her expression mirrored by Alessia's own. "That doesn’t sound like her… And what happened then?"
"Leah was already at my place when I got home. I went for a drive to clear my head. She apologised… but it didn’t feel enough. Not after everything. I don’t know where we stand anymore. She says she likes me, but then… she was with someone else. It just doesn't make sense."
Lotte stayed quiet for a long moment, letting Alessia speak without interruption. She knew her friend well enough to understand how conflicted and hurt she must have felt. "You deserve honesty, Less. If Leah's going to apologise, she needs to show you she means it, not just with words, but with actions."
Alessia nodded slowly, her chest tightening. "I know. But I don’t even know if I want to get involved with her now. I just… I don’t know what to do. I’ve got so many feelings swirling around. But if I ignore her completely, the team will have to deal with the consequences and that’s not fair."
Lotte gave her a reassuring smile. "You don’t have to figure it all out right now. But don’t let this drag on, okay? You deserve someone who makes you feel secure, not unsure."
Alessia sighed, feeling slightly lighter after sharing everything with Lotte. Her friend’s words gave her some clarity, but she still had a lot of unresolved emotions about Leah and what had happened between them. She wasn’t sure what would happen next, but she knew she couldn’t stay stuck in this emotional limbo forever. She would need to talk to Leah, but she didn’t know if it was a conversation she was ready for just yet.
****
After breakfast, Alessia knew that she had to take control of the situation. She had spent the morning feeling uncertain, but something inside her told her it was time to stop avoiding the inevitable. Without fully thinking it through, she grabbed her phone, her fingers hovering over Leah’s name.
With a deep breath, she pressed the call button. The phone rang, and her heart raced as the seconds passed. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but the familiar voice on the other end startled her out of her thoughts.
“Alessia?” Leah’s voice was tentative, almost as if she had been waiting for this call. “Hey. Are you okay?”
Alessia paused. Was she okay? No, but she had to be, for herself. "I... I think I’m ready to talk," she said, her voice steadier than she felt. "Can we meet?"
There was a beat of silence before Leah responded, almost too eagerly. “Yeah, of course. Where?”
"The park. You know, the one by the café we like? In about an hour?"
“Perfect,” Leah replied quickly, almost relieved. "I’ll see you then."
Alessia hung up the phone and sat back for a moment. She hadn’t expected to call Leah so soon, but deep down, she knew it was the right thing to do.
****
An hour later, Alessia arrived at the park, her mind still spinning with what was to come. She spotted Leah sitting on a bench, her posture slightly stiff, as if she were nervous too. When Leah saw her approach, her face lit up, a hopeful smile tugging at her lips. For a brief moment, it felt like things could go back to normal, it felt like how things used to be before all of this, but Alessia knew better than to expect anything to be simple.
"Hey," Alessia greeted her, trying to keep her tone neutral. "Thanks for coming."
Alessia sat down, the furthest she could from her as Leah nodded, her smile faltering just a little. "Of course. I just—" She paused, her gaze dropping for a moment before meeting Alessia’s eyes again. "I’m really sorry for everything. I know I hurt you. And I also know sorry isn’t enough right now."
Alessia felt a knot in her stomach. "You told me you liked me, and then… you were with someone else just a few days later. Why would you do that?"
Leah’s face softened with a mixture of guilt and frustration. She took a deep breath, her hands slightly trembling as she spoke. “I didn’t mean for any of it to happen the way it did. When I kissed you, I meant it. I didn’t know how to tell you, and after the game, I just… I was so caught up in it all. But the thing with her, it shouldn’t have happened. I was stupid. I didn’t think things through."
Alessia tried to read Leah’s face, looking for sincerity. "Then why was she there?"
Leah’s eyes filled with regret. "I was just.. After the game, I was frustrated with us losing and she answered the phone straight away and."
Alessia’s chest tightened as she took in Leah’s words. "Do you realise how ridiculous that sounds?”
Leah swallowed, her voice softening. “I know. And I can’t undo what I’ve done, but I want to try. I want to be honest with you, if you’ll give me a chance. I really like you, Less. But I messed it up, and I’m sorry.”
The sincerity in Leah’s eyes made Alessia's heart skip, but she still wasn’t sure. It was so much to take in. She had trusted Leah with everything. She had become one of the most, if not the most, important person in her life, and now, she didn’t know if she could put her trust in Leah again.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to just move past everything, Leah,” Alessia admitted, her voice quiet but firm. “I need to figure some stuff out.”
Leah nodded, understanding in her gaze. “I get it. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
Alessia let out a slow breath, feeling the tension in her shoulders start to ease. She wasn’t ready to forgive everything just yet, but maybe this was the first step towards doing so. "I’ll need time. But... I’m glad we talked."
Leah gave her a small, timid smile, relief washing over her. "Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere. I mean it, Alessia."
For the first time in days, Alessia felt a little lighter. The future between them still was unclear, but it was finally something positive.
Alessia stood up, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, see you.”
****
Alessia had forgotten that it was her birthday. It completely slipped her mind until she arrived at London Colney and there was a cupcake with a candle and also a mini bouquet of red roses sitting on her locker space. She smiled as she walked over, also noticing a little ‘Happy birthday’ card standing up next to them.
She looked around, no one was there. She overslept, meaning that all of the team must already be having breakfast a few doors down. Before joining them, she picked the card up, curious to know who had done the kind gesture.
‘To Less,
Happy Birthday.
Enjoy the cupcake :)
Leah x’
She couldn’t contain her smile, it was nice of Leah to do that. It really wasn’t much, but it meant a lot.
Alessia walked into the room, still rubbing her eyes from the tiredness she was feeling, but when the door swung open, she was met with an unexpected chorus of voices.
The sound of all the Arsenal girls singing in unison caught her completely off guard. Her eyes widened, and she couldn’t help but laugh, her cheeks flushing as she realized the whole room was singing just for her.
The attention made her feel a little shy, but the warmth in their voices made her heart swell.
"Oh my god, guys," she chuckled, her laughter light and genuine as she stepped further into the room. She quickly lowered her head slightly, trying to hide the grin on her face as the song continued, though the giggles from the girls only made her more embarrassed in the best way.
As they all finished singing, they all cheered, some clapping, others still grinning ear to ear. Alessia smiled sheepishly and waved her hands in an exaggerated way, as though trying to play it off, but her eyes shone with appreciation. She didn’t like to be the centre of attention, especially around her teammates, but it felt good to be celebrated by them.
She made her way toward the table, still chuckling to herself, and slid into a seat between Caitlin and Katie, who had saved her a spot. Rosa and Kyra were already at the table too, and they gave her a warm welcome, all smiles and teasing comments about how she was finally showing up to breakfast at her own pace.
“You just wanted everyone to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you, huh?” Katie teased, nudging her as she sat down.
“Maybe,” Alessia replied with a grin, shrugging playfully. “It was definitely a nice surprise, though.”
As she started digging into her breakfast, Alessia caught a glimpse of Leah at the other end of the room. Leah was sitting with a few other girls, and their eyes met across the space. Without thinking, Alessia mouthed a quick ‘thank you’ at her for the thoughtful gifts she had left in the locker room.
Leah, who had been watching Alessia intently, broke into a soft, knowing smile. She lifted her hand, giving Alessia a thumbs up in return.