Soulmate
The present
16th of October 1976, Saturday
Hogwarts, Great Hall
So he was at breakfast, right. He was having a nice cup of tea, a bowl of milk and cereal, a toast with some jam and butter. He had the paper on his left and on his right a steaming cup of espresso next to his cup of tea that he would drink in one big gulp once it had cooled down well enough. He was having a nice, calm breakfast.
“You!”
Until he wasn’t.
He looked up almost lazily, flicking his eyes up from his paper and back down once he spotted the girl he’d already recognized the voice from. “Good morning, Nora,” he greeted pleasantly, bringing his tea to his lips. “Did you sleep well?”
Nora narrowed her eyes on him. “I can’t believe you look like this.”
“Excuse me?”
“How are you looking even better than you usually do?” she exclaimed, sitting down opposite of him and nicking his paper. Rude. He reached over and pulled it back. “Hey, I wanted to read that,” she muttered.
“I’m still reading it,” he answered dryly. “And you have heard of the hangover potion, have you not?”
“Even the hangover potion doesn’t do what you’re looking like right now,” Nora said. “What’d you take? Is it because you had sex?” Thankfully, she’d lowered her voice considerably when saying the last sentence, but it wasn’t low enough for Arry and Lip to not hear, whom arrived just at that unfortunate moment.
Arry gasped loudly, because he was a shithead. “You shagged last night?” Sitting down, he stole Regulus’s toast. What was it with people and the need to steal his things? “With who?”
“Just because there wasn’t anyone that wanted to shag you doesn’t mean there wasn’t anyone that wanted to shag in general,” Lip answered, leaning over Regulus’s shoulder to read the segment Regulus was reading of the paper. “You look great though, how’d you manage that? Shit, you even smell good.”
Shaking his head, Regulus sighed. “I showered, that’s how and stop. Stealing. My. Food!” He took back his milk and cereal, which Nora had taken when he was distracted. “If I get you my hangover potion, will you get off my back?”
Lip grinned. “Obviously.”
“Fuck all of you,” Regulus muttered, but he took out his wand to summon three vials he kept in a – warded, obviously – drawer in their dorm. He’d made a whole batch the first week of school when he heard all the party plans his housemates were making, he figured he’d need them. “You’ll all pay me back some day,” he told them when the vials arrived and he handed them out.
“Course, we’re paying you back right now by dropping the fact you shagged someone last night,” Arry answered, adding a thank you once he’d downed the potion and his entire body sagged in relief. “Don’t know how you managed it, but this is the best fucking potion on the planet, hands down.”
Regulus hummed uncommittedly, trying to get back to reading his paper.
“You heading back up to your tower for the rest of the day?” Lip questioned, the only sane person to fix up his own breakfast. Nora and Arry did follow suit, after sending Regulus’s breakfast a rueful look. As though they weren’t sitting at a table filled with the exact same food.
“Yes, I need to create this potion,” he replied, finishing his tea. He swore there should’ve been more in it. “Last night was a great distraction, but I really have to get back to it.”
Nora nodded. “I’m coming with you, I’ve got a plan!”
“You’ve got a plan?” Regulus echoed, looking up. He was worried. He was definitely, definitely worried.
Lip frowned. “You should be worried.” He was.
“Yes, I have a plan and it is a great one. You’re making this potion, Regulus Black, if it’s the last thing I do.” What?
“What?” Lip echoed Regulus’s thoughts.
Nora grinned, waving her hand around. “It’ll be fine, don’t worry about it. And the plan includes Regulus being locked out of that tower after 5 pm, so we’ll be joining you all for dinner.”
Arry nodded. “Sounds like a sound plan,” he decided. “We need you on our Saturday nights, Kalin’s been getting a little too cocky in-” He waved his hands around, looking for words.
“Everything,” Lip finished. “Cocky in fucking everything and we need someone to bring him down a peg.”
“And I’m that someone?” Regulus shook his head, picking up his coffee and downing it in one go. Gross. But so good.
Both Lip and Arry nodded. “There’s no one else capable, mate, you’re our last hope,” Lip informed him.
“Hmm, we’ll see. I’m going to go to the owlery now.” Going to his feet, Regulus looked at his paper one last time, he’d read about half and he could finish the other half later, but Lip and Nora were both ogling it and he probably wouldn’t see it again if he left it behind – taking it with him wasn’t really an option, Lip and Nora were ogling ogling.
He sighed, yeah, he’d make Nora tell him the important news later. He turned and strode away without looking back, eyes sliding past the other students with very little interest. He prided himself on the lack of people he recognized, especially those of the Gryffindor house.
“No!” A yell on his left startled his gaze to snap to the Hufflepuff table, a girl with strawberry blonde hair and a face of freckles was standing at the edge of the table, clutching onto a newspaper with wide, tear filled eyes. “NO!” she yelled again, jerking her head left and right violently.
Her friends were at her sides, trying in fain to tug her to the exit or to calm her down.
The girl wouldn’t have. “IT’S NOT TRUE!” she shouted, throwing the paper away, setting it on fire with tears now openly streaming down her cheeks. One of the professors was already rushing towards the small group.
A muggleborn, Regulus decided, continuing down the Great Hall, looking unbothered. She dressed like one. Or maybe her friends were and they’d influenced her. He wondered what she’d read, there hadn’t been anything ground-breaking in the news, nothing to start wailing about in the Great Hall.
The Chudley Channons had lost, again, the weather was going to be shit for the foreseeable future, there was a shortage of dittany – which really wasn’t news anymore, but a shame – there would be a comet sailing past in a couple days, also not really news worthy seeing as it had no magical abilities, there were some magical incidents in muggle homes, mostly underage bouts of magic, Harold Minchum was doing and achieving nothing as Minister of Magic – no surprise there, he was merely elected because the last minister was a muggleborn and there was no way she was going to be elected again.
“Hello pretty,” he exclaimed, stepping inside the owlery, leaving behind the memory of the crying girl. “Got some letters for you.” Hades hooted a greeting, flying away from the bundle of owls that had gathered around him and to Regulus’s outstretched hand. “Who’s a pretty boy? You’re a pretty boy, aren’t you? The prettiest. Yes. Yes, you are!”
He flicked his wrist to tie the scrolls of parchment to his owl’s leg and leaned back proudly. “Be careful out there, sweetie, there’s a storm coming up and we don’t want you getting lost. No, we don’t. Bye, bye!” Leaning his hand out of the window, he watched his owl fly off, a small smile forming on his face.
“You and Hades’ relationship remains a mystery unsolved,” someone muttered, someone Regulus’s voice recognized instantly. Even without turning around.
But he turned anyways, noting that Sirius hadn’t arrived on his own, his merry band of mischief crowded around him. Tilting his head to the side, Regulus allowed his gaze to swoop up and down everyone, taking in their chaotic appearance with spots of dirt and undone buttons and ties.
“You writing to mother?” Sirius questioned, his entire body lined with tension even though his voice feigned disinterest. He moved past Regulus to a grey owl that pecked his hand familiarly. Perhaps the owl of one of his friends.
Regulus didn’t answer, still studying the boys standing between him and the hall to freedom. Lupin looked like he had his life in order most of all of them, but he also looked like he might need to spend the night in the Hospital wing, pale and sickly. Pettigrew looked at Regulus like he’d grown a second head, leaning against the wall of the doorway and absently toying with what looked like a candy wrapper, his eyes wide and focused on Regulus.
Potter was the most interesting to look at though, always had been, really. He looked more chaotic than any of the others, his uniform and hair in complete disarray, but somehow he looked like he had perfect control. He didn’t though. Which became obvious when he took a step forwards and stumbled forwards another three when he accidently stepped on the lace of his other shoe.
“Careful there,” Regulus muttered dryly, watching in fascination how a flush quickly appeared on Potter’s cheeks. He didn’t know a lot of people that got flustered so easily. His eyes flicked to Sirius, whom had his back turned to him in a fake attempt to show he felt safe. “Will you move?” he questioned, now turning his gaze to Lupin and Pettigrew, the latter of which quickly slid up to Potter’s side on Regulus’s right.
Lupin held his gaze for a moment, golden eyes filled with something Regulus couldn’t – didn’t bother to –recognize. “Have a pleasant day,” he said at last, stepping aside just enough for Regulus to pass.
He smirked, walking past the tall boy and feeling a small amount of victory at how he was almost just as tall, so he didn’t have to look up. “Thank you, see you Monday.”
“Monday?” he heard Potter hiss the second he’d started down the stairs, out of sight.
Monday he had to walk patrol with Lupin, part of their prefect duties. And this year the Headboy and Headgirl weren’t talking, so they’d opted out of giving everyone a choice of who to walk with and instead just randomly put them all on a schedule they’d just have to deal with until Christmas.
Leading to Regulus having to do rounds with Lupin on Monday, first time that year, which really was a surprise. With how often they’d both already done evening rounds.
The way up to the Potions tower was uneventful and Regulus was already settled in nicely in the middle of the room, sat on the floor with his notes sprawled around him in a circle and more notes floating through the air with potions floating around them when Nora finally joined him.
“Oh Merlin’s balls.”
She was standing in the doorway, arms crossed and face pinched in a combination of regret and resignation. Behind her, Lip and Arry both had their chins propped up on her shoulders.
“There’s no saving him,” Arry announced, slipping past her and inside the room. He carefully darted around the floating items until he’d located a free desk to plop himself down on. “He’s lost to the madness.”
Lip nodded, also moving inside. “Potions madness, it’s a special kind- uncurable.”
“Heard about electrotherapy that’s supposed to work, they use it in America,” Arry muttered thoughtfully. “Not really ethical but I think he can handle it.”
“Don’t talk about ethical and electricity in the same sentence, you lost that right after the incident in 2nd year,” Lip hissed lowly. “And I doubt it would really do much for Regulus, bastard’s tolerance of pain is nothing like I’ve ever seen before.”
“Shut up, both of you, will you?” Nora finally snapped out of her frozen stance and strode into the room, without any regard of the notes laying around and pushing the ones floating in her way away with a flick of her wrist. “Regulus?”
He lifted his chin towards her, not taking his eyes from the book he was copying down notes from. This was interesting. “Yeah?”
“What’re you doing?”
“I’m looking into your theory about the creature’s age potentially altering the potion’s effects, you were right, there’s very little information about the fact but everything we do know, points to very real signs of it being true. Which – if it were the case – would be ground-breaking in the Potions world. Can’t look into it properly now, of course, but I’m going to contact my supplier to see if they can get me frog brains from older and younger frogs.”
A frog brain is one of the key ingredients of madness and insanity potions, if there was ever anything to start with on a pain inducing potion. He could test it with Buffalo’s brain elixir, if the potion worked better with younger – or older – brains, he’d know that at least with that potion and the affect that ingredient had on it, it would improve or not.
“You’re rambling,” Nora informed him.
His mouth snapped shut, he hadn’t realized. “Look, you were onto something here, I’m trying it out.”
Nora nodded, sitting down crisscross opposite of him. “Okay, what’s next?”
“Next?” Regulus huffed. “Figuring out the ingredients that I could change and then reattempt all of the possible potions I tried creating.” So far he’d only really succeeded in creating a potion that made you see yourself wounded, it convinced your mind you were and you could feel it, even though there weren’t any wounds. Which was an interesting potion, for sure, but not what he needed.
“And that will put you another month forwards?”
“Probably, yes.” Stilling his writing, he glanced up at her with narrowed eyes. “Why?”
“It isn’t healthy, being stuck up here for another month,” Nora informed him, tilting her chin up haughtily. He hated that look. Take the chin down. “You need help.”
“No, I do not.” His eyes darted up to Arry and Lip, whom were engrossed in a discussion, completely oblivious to the one he was having with Nora. “Even if I do, who could actually be any help for me?” He looked back at Nora. “Not to sound pretentious, but there is nothing anyone in a position to help me could actually do that I can’t do myself.”
“That does sound pretentious,” she hissed. “And you’re wrong, there might not be anybody that you know that could help you, but I know plenty of people.”
Regulus snorted, continuing to scribble down in his notebook. “Right, of course, the all mighty Nora Zabini. Do you know anyone that would be able and willing to help me, though? I’m aware that you think very highly of me but not everyone around here does.”
She shrugged, planting her palms down and leaning back. “You’d be surprised, really. Let’s make a deal.”
“A deal?” Shit, he hated deals. He could never say no to them. It was a weakness and he damn well knew it, he knew better than to go along with them. His gaze shifted up to Nora’s face, her dark eyes already looking at him knowingly. Damn her.
“I find you someone that would be willing to help you make this potion, they will stick with it until you’ve succeeded.” Regulus narrowed his eyes on her. “You have to accept their help, no matter who they are and what house they’re from.”
“Pureblood.”
“Obviously.”
His eyes narrowed some more. “What do I get out of it?” He knew her well enough that this wasn’t just to help him, by saying no one would willingly help him, he’d inadvertently challenged her into finding someone to do just that. Probably someone he wouldn’t like.
Nora grinned. “Someone to help you create the potion and they will, I will find someone actually capable of helping you.” Regulus raised one of his eyebrows. And… “And if I find someone that can’t help you, or backs out before you finish, I’ll…” She shrugged. “I’ll owe you.”
What?
“Shit,” Lip muttered. Apparently their little deal had caught their interest.
“And if you do find someone?” Regulus pressed.
“Then you’ll owe me.”
“You won’t find someone.”
Nora grinned, rolling her head to the left so it rested on her shoulder. “Suppose we’ll find out about that, won’t we?”
He shouldn’t do it. He really, really shouldn’t do it. His eyes flickered to Arry and Lip, who were both looking at him with large eyes, Lip mouthing slowly to not do it. Arry mostly looked panicked.
“Fuck, yes, okay. Deal.”
Nora’s grin was positively shit-eating. “Deal.”
Regulus was going to regret this. He was so going to regret this.
∞
The past
26th of February 1972, Saturday
Black Mansion – Regulus bedroom
Regulus woke up during one of the coldest days of February and wrapped his arms around his pillow and pushed his face in. He was eleven now. The mark should be there. It had to be there.
He couldn’t look, drawing his blankets closer and squeezing his eyes closed inside his pillow. He didn’t want to look.
“Is morning, master Regulus, you needs to get ready,” his elf’s voice broke through the silence he’d created around her. “Happy Birthday.”
Regulus opened his eyes with furrowed brows, worry twisting in his stomach as he slipped out of the bed and quickly drew his robe around him, stepping into his bathroom and closing the door. Kreacher had the shower running already, so it was warm and waiting. His heart was pounding so hard in his chest, he wondered if it was audible to the outside world, worry curling deeply in his stomach. He didn’t want to take his robe off.
“Should I puts your clothes here, master Regulus?” Kreacher asked, popping into the bathroom. “Or in yours room?” He stared at Regulus with wide, owlish eyes. “Are yous alright?”
“No.” Sucking in a deep breath, Regulus shook his head, smiling charmingly. “Thank you, Kreacher, but I am okay. You can put them over there.” His elf nodded, popping away quickly. “Okay.” Turning to the mirror, he smiled. “This is okay. I can do this.”
Dropping his robe and taking off his pyjama, Regulus stared.
He didn’t have a mark. Dread dropped in his stomach as he twisted left and right, stretched out his arms and tried turning around to look at his back. Glancing up at the mirror, turned half around, he froze.
There. Right between his shoulder blades. “Oh.” He reached towards it, trailed his finger across the black lines that curled together and created, of all things, antlers. “Antlers,” he whispered to himself, tracing the lines that curled around his spine.
They were simple, each one drawn with simple black lines and yet they spread out across his shoulder blades, splitting into branches and spreading wide from the crown they raised from. Antlers and a crown. Tears jumped into his eyes. He had a mark. He had a person. He couldn’t quite breathe, stepping under the hot water and keeping his palm pressed against the mark.
He had an actual person. He’d never quite believed it was possible.
For a moment. A short moment of foolish, childish dreams, he wondered what they’d be like. If they were a platonic friend or would be more romantic, if they were kind and strong and warm and happy. Oh. He hoped they were happy. He stared at the mark, the dream shattered inside his mind.
Perhaps they were happy now, but they had him as a soulmate. His heart stuttered, his lungs tightening. How could anyone be happy to have him as a soulmate? He wouldn’t talk to them. Wouldn’t become friends with them or anything more. He’d not even come near them, likely.
“Master Regulus?”
He jumped up, stepping out of the shower and drawing his towel around his hips. “Yes Kreacher, I’m ready.” His elf helped him to the vanity and sat him down, quickly starting on the wild mess his morning hair presented, smoothing everything down until there wasn’t an imperfect curl in sight.
It didn’t take long to get ready, Kreacher fixed up his hair and handed him his clothes so he could quickly slip inside of them. Grey trousers and a waistcoat before a matching robe fit on top, his mother liked seeing him in grey. Most of the things if not all things in his closet matched the colour.
He went down to breakfast with his trademark smirk slapped on, forcing himself to forget about the existence of the mark that felt like it was burning on his back.
He almost succeeded too, carried away by the people in the house gifting him presents and congratulations. Bellatrix even told him how proud she was of him, sending him such a meaningful look he almost thought she was talking about the mark. But seeing as he wasn’t thinking about the mark, he didn’t think she was talking about it either. Obviously.
Not thinking about it at all until that evening when he opening his brother’s letter – the second one he received since he’d gone to Hogwarts, the first one being for Christmas. Sirius didn’t mention it either, but Regulus contemplated it, his hand reaching to his back before it dropped back to the table, his gaze not leaving the letter he was writing in response.
No. He wasn’t mentioning it. It didn’t exist, it was better to accept that now than be disappointed in the future.
∞
The present
23rd of October 1976, Saturday
Hogwarts, Potions tower
It took Nora a week to come up to him with a proud smirk on her face, her eyes glinting in a way that had Regulus question his sanity all over again. He’d been rethinking the deal on a daily basis, wondering what he’d possibly been thinking when he agreed and going to Nora with narrowed eyes and reminders.
Most important of which, the person that would have to help him would have to take an oath of secrecy. No mention of the potion can ever be made, to no one. He already felt uneasy about Nora’s knowledge about it, Arry and Lip didn’t care enough to really take notice besides the deal.
“Hand me your robe,” Nora pulled him out of his thoughts with a haughty look. “You look better without it.”
“Excuse me?” They were walking up the stairs of the tower, to the classroom he’d formally made his after a long – long – discussion with Slughorn. Whomever Nora convinced would meet them there. “This is an original Gucci robe, Nora. No, I will not be handing it to you.”
Nora rolled her eyes, still holding out her hand and swinging a perfectly manicured nail back and forth expectantly. “I have seen what happens to the robes you wear in your little room of pleasure, trust me, this is the safest option for your robe.”
She had a point. But still, to just hand it to her.. Seeing her face, he exhaled gravely, taking off the robe with narrowed eyes. “If I see any of your ‘improvements’ on it when I’m done…” he trailed off in warning. He knew Nora and her ‘improvements’. He’d lost great robes to those improvements.
“I won’t touch the thing, okay? Pinky promise. Now unbutton some of those,” Nora exclaimed, smiling brightly. Regulus arched his eyebrows in response. “I’ve seen you drunk, sweet, I know your hidden desire to show off your bare chest at all hours of the day every day.”
Opening his mouth to deny that, Regulus blew out a sharp breath instead. Nora’s face already showed she wasn’t open to discussion. Dutifully, he unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt. “Better?”
“Much!” Nora folded his robes and tucked it away in her magically enhanced purse before stopping him and allowing her gaze to properly take him in. “Are you ready?”
“Am I ready?” he muttered. “What should I be ready for? Who did you trick into helping me?” He was actually becoming nervous. It surely wouldn’t be any girl from Slytherin, Nora had a strong dislike for the majority of them. And though he knew she’d put aside most of her issues if it meant someone could really help him – and thereby help her win the bet – he also knew her well enough to know it would have to be someone she respected.
If she didn’t respect them, it was likely that Regulus didn’t or wouldn’t either, which meant that they wouldn’t really be able to help him with the potion.
So. No female student from Slytherin. Probably no male student either. Definitely a student from a different house then. And seeing as she wanted him to look pretty… It would be a girl, right? There were very few guys in the school open and out of the closet like he was and even his sexuality was only known amongst his circle.
Then again, he’d probably not hear about anyone coming out of the closet unless Nora thought it was worth to tell him.
He was thinking about this too much. They were standing right underneath the classroom. Merlin, whomever it was could probably hear everything they were saying.
“Can we go up now? I would like to get something done today,” Regulus sighed.
“I suppose. Now, be warned. You have to give my choice an honest chance, remember? First impressions and past relations forgotten, yes?”
Regulus narrowed his eyes on her. “Yes.” He didn’t trust her one bit.
They went up the stairs and Nora was barely hiding her nerves, it was intriguing. Nora never got nervous. About nothing. He kept throwing her searching looks, the nerves displayed on her face rising and falling with each one of them. If he hadn’t known her so well, he wouldn’t have noticed them.
“Hi.”
Regulus froze. Next to him, Nora froze. Slowly, he lifted his gaze from where he’d been eyeing Nora again, to turn to the person leaning against the wall next to the door of his classroom.
Rumpled uniform, messy hair, mismatched socks and untied red and golden tie. He smiled, pushing off the wall and rubbing his hands together.
“Hello.” The word left Regulus’s mouth sharply, his gaze snapped back down to Nora. His housemate. His confidant. How could she?
Nora, on her part, had seemed to have regained control over her nerves and was now smiling charmingly. “Lord Potter!” she exclaimed happily, moving across him and lifting her hand for him to press a kiss against the back. Though Regulus could tell it made the guy feel awkward. “I believe you know my companion, Lord Regulus Black.”
So they were using titles. Regulus slowly moved closer, keeping his hands firmly at his sides. “Lord Potter,” he finally greeted, inclining his head.
Potter nodded back, flush rising on his cheeks. Regulus watched it grow, the flush tinted his ears red.
“So!” Nora clapped her hands together and turned to Regulus. “Open the classroom, would you? We can get inside and figure out the details,” she said cheerfully.
Regulus jerked back slightly, gaze snapping away and wand slipping into his hand. “Of course.” He waved it across the door to unlock and alter the barrier to allow Potter entrance, if only for this one time. It was the deal, after all.
Once inside, his wand returned to its holster on his wrist and he moved to an empty desk to lean back against it, focusing on keeping a cool composure. Though he could assure you, he didn’t feel cool at all.
“So, I understand you’re trying to create a potion?” Potter asked, hesitantly closing the door behind him. The little light that had broken through the clouds and fell inside through the windows, somehow fell exactly on his face.
Clearing his throat, Regulus nodded. “I cannot tell you the details unless you take an oath of secrecy.”
“An oath of secrecy?” Potter repeated. “What kind?”
“A simple one. Swear you will not mention me, the potion and anything you discuss or learn inside this classroom, outside of it.”
Potter raised his eyebrows. “Swear on what? And until when?”
Regulus shrugged. That part didn’t really matter, to be honest. Well, the until when part did, but not the on what. “Anything important to you, swear on that. Magic will automatically bind it. And until I release you of your oath.”
“That sounds extreme.”
Regulus chose not to answer, fingers curling around the edge of the desk to keep himself staying there. Nora, in the meantime, had been moving around the classroom, inspecting something Regulus didn’t care for.
Now she turned to face both of them with a sigh, curling a strand of her hair around her finger. “Look, I already told you of the oath, Lord Potter. You probably already have something in mind, to swear on, take the oath and you two can get on your merry way to finish this potion.” She smirked. “And I get to leave.”
“You’re leaving?” Potter asked, gaze leaving Regulus for the first time to pin on Nora.
“Of course. Regulus refuses to involve me in the exact details of the potion as well,” she answered breezily. “Now, the oath? I’ll be your witness. Carry on.”
“Fine.” Potter turned to Regulus and took his wand out, placing it carefully on his left hand, to place his wand hand on his heart. “I swear on my broomstick,” he frowned, question shining in his eyes. Regulus nodded his acceptance, he’d seen the work Potter had put into his broom, he liked tweaking it with his own magic. “Okay. I swear on my broomstick that I will not discuss or in any shape or form mention what I learn, discuss or do inside this classroom outside this classroom except for anyone that is already aware of these things.” Regulus narrowed his eyes, but nodded his head for Potter to continue. “I will hold true to this oath until Regulus Black releases me. So I swear.” His wand lit up in acceptance, Regulus’s own wand burning in recognition before both lights died out.
“Fantastic! Regulus, sweet, I will see you for dinner. Lord Potter… good luck.” Nora pressed a kiss to Regulus’ cheek before breezing out of the room, the door clicking shut behind her before silence fell over the room.
Regulus stared at Potter. Potter stared back.
“So, you want to tell me about this potion?” Potter tried hesitantly, stepping further into the room.
Right. Yes. He supposed that would be proper now. Slowly, Regulus moved to the centre of the room, where he sat down cross legged, spreading out his hands in a single woosh to get all his notes out and organized in front of him.
Potter sat down opposite of the neat piles. He turned his head slightly to try and read upside down.
“I’d like to create a potion that pains the drinker. It needs to be keyed into the drinker’s personal fears, so there is emotional as well as physical pain.”
“A pain potion.” Potter shook his head, a dry laugh escaping his mouth. “You need my help to create a potion to inflict pain on people?”
Regulus narrowed his eyes. “There will be something inside it, something that needs to be kept save. The drinker can choose whether they want to drink it or not, the purpose of the potion is to convince the drinker to not drink it.”
“By giving them pain?” Potter asked.
“Yes.” Regulus smirked, leaning back against the desk behind him. “Still interested in helping me?”
Potter shook his head, gaze flicking across all Regulus’s notes and the ingredients he’d already tested, carefully ordered on one side of the classroom. “Yes.” He looked at Regulus. “I’ll help. What’ve you got?”
Regulus narrowed his eyes. Potter won’t stick it out till the end, he felt it in his gut, but he might actually be able to get something out of him whilst he was still there. His father was a known potions master, maybe Regulus could have some use of him yet.
As long as those bloody friends of his stayed far, far away from his classroom.
∞
The Past
1st of July 1972, Saturday
Black Mansion – garden
Sirius found his person. Soulmate, Sirius said.
He’d come back from Hogwarts and wrapped his arms around Regulus in the strangest form of affection Regulus had ever witnessed. A hug, apparently. Regulus thought it was ridiculous but it didn’t feel bad, so he wasn’t complaining.
“Look,” Sirius had whispered that very night when they’d snuck out and hid in the shadows of the trees in the garden. He pulled down his collar and waved his hand, a shimmer of magic revealing a detailed drawing of a moon with tiny stars floating around it, one slightly larger than the others, closest to the moon. They were fully coloured and bright, as though they were glowing. “They get brighter during the night,” Sirius whispered, finger moving across the mark. “The moon follows the real moon cycle, too.”
Regulus stared at the mark, more amazed than he’d ever been. “Who is it?”
“One of my mates.” The smile on Sirius’s face was bigger and happier than any Regulus had ever seen. “Met him after the sorting, saw his soulmark when we got to our dorm and put it together.”
Soulmark. “What does it feel like?” Regulus whispered, throat closing up. He couldn’t imagine himself being so lucky to have one of his friends be his person, but Merlin, it was the dream wasn’t it. With their future.
“I can’t describe it,” Sirius whispered, leaning back against the tree. “It kind of felt like coming home, you know?” No, Regulus didn’t know. He was home, Black Mansion was his home. “And I felt like I could tell him everything from the moment I met him, because he’s my soulmate.” Now Regulus definitely couldn’t imagine that. Words were precious, he was younger than Sirius and even he knew that. “Every time I’m with him I just feel like everything is going to be okay, as long as he’s there.”
Regulus huffed. “Sounds like a fantasy,” he decided. Bellatrix was right, he would manage just fine without a person. A soulmate, Sirius had said. Soulmate and soulmark. Ridiculous.
“Do you have yours?”
He stilled, frowning down at the ground. “Yes.” It felt like he’d confessed to a mistake, something he’d done wrong. Sometimes he wondered what it’d be like if he hadn’t gotten his mark, maybe it would’ve been better. He went to his feet and dusted off the dirt. “I’ve really got to go to bed, class starts at seven tomorrow.”
Sirius groaned, also standing up, waving his hand over his collarbones to hide the mark. “Forgot about that bull.”
“It’s useful,” Regulus whispered, feeling the need to defend himself. He liked the classes, Madam Stroud was a good teacher. “Good night, Sirius.”
“Night, Reggie,” Sirius whisper shouted, slipping away in a different hall to his room.
Soulmate. Soulmate. The word echoed in his head. Soulmate. Soulmark. Soulmate. Regulus shuddered, turning on his side and curling around his extra pillow. He liked the idea of having a person better, at least it left his soul out of it.
His mother said souls were like words, precious and his. He had a dark one, she’d told him once, nodding proudly. A proper dark soul, just like she and his father had. She leaned close and told him he should never doubt that, because he could cast every spell in their library and they only worked with dark souls. Sirius swayed a little every so often, but deep down, his mother had nodded self-assuredly, deep down Sirius knew he had a dark soul too.
Regulus didn’t understand how Sirius could sway from that, it was something to be proud of, wasn’t it?