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There was no moment she felt more alone than when a letter came to inform her that yet another friend of hers had passed away.
Then, a question would travel through her head: How much more will I have to go through this? Unbeknown to her, they all wished that her suffering could stop too. They wished they could make it stop. But how? There's something separating them; they were dead and she was alive. It was like an invisible veil — a thin line — that kept them apart. Keeping them from touching, comforting her.
Earlier that day, Harry Potter found Y/N Y/L/N crouching down in a corner of her room as violent sobs racked shook through her body. It was the first time that he had seen his Aunt not being her composed self ever since he met her a few months ago, a bit after that he came to know the real story of his dad and his friends.
“Aunt Y/N?”
The woman held a breath in surprise. Her back was towards the door so she quickly tried to dry her tears and fix her hair as fast as possible.
“Hi, Harry. Is everything alright?” She smiled gently at the boy as he approached carefully. Until now she hadn't noticed he had brought the company into the room. “Hermione! Come in. Is there something you two need to talk to me about?”
Hermione did as told and closed the door quietly, resting with her back against the wood. Harry adjusted his glasses and then crossed his arms. His eyes never met hers and that was the first tell he was nervous; she knew it for it was the same one James used to have.
“What is going on? Tell me.” She eyed both anxiously waiting. She hated when someone took the time to tell her things. The main reason she missed Sirius the most was that he'd always rip the bandaid off before it got too infected. However, Harry had the sensitive side from his parents. He never wanted to hurt anyone, not even with words.
So, when Harry started talking she knew what was about to come, and it wasn't good news. They were losing. They were losing badly. Thousands of lives had been taken due to Voldemort's attacks. Still, Y/N felt like the worst had yet to arrive.
She had a plan on her mind. Not a solid but a good enough one. Y/N might've watched all of her friends die but she would not stand to watch the same happen to her nephew. She owed that to Lily. She owed that to James.
“Listen,” Y/N grabbed Harry's pale wrist, causing him to stop. She waited for Hermione to step away and reach Ron to carry on. “You stay behind me, all the time. Do you hear me, Harry? All the time.”
Harry sighed, “Aunt Y/N...” I won't let you die for me. Not like they did.
She interrupted him by pulling him into a hug. Squeezing the boy so tight if felt like this would be the last time she would have the chance to do it.
“This will be over soon, Harry. I promise you.”
Y/N Y/L/N had never meant to stay that long. Her soul and her heart had been in different places ever since she hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to the ones she loved the most. Her family. She felt incomplete. Split. Broken.
She was exhausted.
Therefore, once the time came, she was ready. She had said goodbye this time, after all.
“D'you think she's awake yet?”
“Has she opened her eyes, prongs?”
“Well... No. But her eyelashes are moving, so!”
“James, c'me here. She has to wake up on her own. Like everyone else, you know that.”
Y/N felt like she was slipping away slowly, until all the pain, all the heartache passed suddenly. She was having a dream... Was she dreaming?
“What is taking her so long?”
A voice identical to Marlene Mckinnon's prompted her to open her heavy eyelids. She had to be dreaming because, why else would her best friend be there, in front of her, alive and smiling?
“There she is!” Mary McDonald squealed by Marlene's side, waving excitedly. “Hello, Y/N. I've missed you!”
Y/N couldn't comprehend what was happening anymore. Everyone. Everyone was there. James, Lily, Marlene, Mary, Sirius, Remus... How hard did she hit her head on that rock?
“She must be thinking how crazy she is right about now... Aren't you, Y/N?” Sirius sat down with his back resting against a tree nearby. He had a book in his hands and his hair waved around with the wind like the majesty that he was.
They were all young.
The features... Nobody had any wrinkles or scars of war. Everybody was just as they were at seventeen years old: carefree and young.
“Hey,” Lily Potter arrived at her side, sitting down and grasping her hand. Her red hair was just the same length Y/N remembered at their school days, slightly below her shoulders. “You're okay now. It's just us.”
Why wasn't she waking up?
Why could she feel Lily's hands-on hers?
This is when she started to cry. The sobs weren't as painful as her last cries were. She wasn't crying about Remus Lupin's death now, she was crying because she was dreaming of her best friends and she did not want to wake up ever again.
Oh, how I've missed you. All of you.
“Don't cry,” James whined, drying her tears softly as he sat down too. “Are you sad?”
“Of course she's sad! She's dead.” Marlene rolled her eyes. Lily and Remus gave her a glare and she immediately raised her hands.
“Moony, do it,” Sirius ordered from the tree, eyes skimming through the page.
Remus groaned, shifting uncomfortably. James pinched him, receiving a yelp from the Lupin boy.
“Why am I seeing you?” Y/N finally spoke. Every gaze turned to her instantly. Her hand squeezed Lily's for reassurance and the red-haired smiled. “Am I dreaming?”
Remus and James shared a look. Marlene looked down. Mary opened and closed her mouth like a fish. Lily gave her a pity glance. She did not like that.
“Sirius?”
“Mhm?”
“Did I die?”
Silence.
A ‘thump’ and the book was closed. Sirius stood up and stepped towards her, offering a hand for her to get up.
Lily warned him with a fierce gaze; Sirius merely got affected by it, but they seemed to share some agreement there. Then, Lily let go of her hand.
Accepting Sirius's hand, she had been led away from the group to a more secluded area. Her eyes widened once the front of the castle entered her sight. A once over was all Y/N needed to realize that she was in Hogwarts, on a sunny day, and nobody but them was there.
“Merlin—”
“That's what I said when I got here,” Sirius commented, intertwining his fingers at his back. “And, of course, when I looked myself in the mirror. I've always liked how I looked but younger days... I was at my best, wasn't I?”
A smile lifted the corner of her lips.
“You said you've always admired how I'd tell you the truth, Y/N.” Sirius carefully said. She nodded firmly. “Ripping out the bandaid, isn't it?”
Y/N laughed. “Yes. Delicate as always.”
“You died at the last battle, love.”
Ouch. So this was why her chest was heavy the whole time? She wasn't dreaming.
“I'm dead?” Y/N studied a lonely leaf falling down. Sirius nodded, lowering his head.
“You are.”
“Is this heaven?” Her eyebrows creased and Sirius smiled softly at her obliviousness.
“Sort of.”
“What do you mean sort of, Black? I need details, where am I, and why are you— Please, tell me this isn't a hallucination.”
Sirius shook his head, taking her hand on his. “No, no. This place is as real as it can be, Y/N. Remember when you said you felt more at home in here than when you spend your summer at your parent's house?” Y/N nodded confused, “This is home, Y/N. The place we spend most of our youth in, within these hallways...” Sirius touched the wall, looking up at the old but firm structure of the castle of Hogwarts. “... we laughed, we pranked everyone and each other. But, mostly, this is where we were the happiest.”
“So this is heaven.” Y/N mocked, nudging him playfully. Sirius rolled his eyes, nudging her back. “Hey, I'm not complaining, I got you back.”
“And me,” Remus raised one eyebrow, leaning on a tree.
“And me!” James retorted, walking the small stairs to meet them. “You took too long to wake up.”
Lily scoffed, “Forgive her for taking on an unforgivable spell and not waking up fast.”
“Oh, love. Don't be sour, will you? I've missed our friend!”
Y/N had only realized how much she had missed Lily's and James' bickerings on breakfast.
“I've missed you too, Potters.” She gave Lily a look that made her friend blush slightly. They seemed like teenagers again. It all felt free. Until it clicked. Harry. “What about Harry?” Y/N croaked out shakily.
“Harry's alright. He's a fighter. Took after his father, after all.” Mary replied with a small grin. James smiled sadly.
“Did he...”
“Killed you-know-who?” Remus completed the sentence, a smile growing. “Yes. He saved the magical world, Y/N.”
Y/N shook out a sob, covering her mouth with her hands. Lily was tearing up as James held her, caressing her arm.
“So, he-he's okay?”
Lily nodded, intertwining her fingers with James'. “He's okay.”
“Still shaken up after your death...” Marlene added, “But he'll be fine. Harold is the toughest kid I've ever seen.”
James groaned, “His name's not 'Arold, Mar!”
“You do agree that that is way better than just boring Harry, don't you?”
Sirius snickered beside Y/N, “Here we go.”
“They get into it every day, Merlin.” Remus shook his head, but a fond smile betrayed the supposedly annoying comment.
“I missed you all so much. You've no idea.” Y/N croaked out, and Remus quickly pulled her into a strong embrace.
“We've missed you too, Y/N,” James said with a soft glance at her.
“Now that we're all here... Should we get started? We've got the whole place for us!" Mary bashfully let out, curls bopping up and down along with her body.
Lily smirked, eyeing James, “Well...?”
Remus, James, and Sirius shared a look. Y/N was confused.
“Care to share with me, guys?”
Marlene wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “We convinced them that when you arrived they would show us how the marauder's map works.”
Y/N's eyes widened. “Really? What are you waiting for then!” She nudged Lupin by her side. He gave her a contained grin.
“Alright, Moony. We did promise...” Sirius begins.
“Fine.” Remus rolled his eyes. “It's in our common room. Can the girls even get in?”
“I believe the rule doesn't apply for dead girls, so!” Marlene pulled Sirius and James by their arms with whines and groans from both boys as they entered Hogwarts doors.
Y/N stared at her friends as they followed the other three with a longing feeling in her heart. Everything she needed was here, even if she did leave someone behind, now she felt truly happy and at peace.
And what else would heaven be if not somewhere you've spent the happiest moments of your life with the most amazing people?