The evilest of them all
A man strode into the Great Hall, many heads turning to look at him. Several girls swooned. The lone teacher waiting on dinner to begin cursed inside his head, apparently this was his reward for escaping the damn staff meeting early. His wand fell into his hand, and he raised it, pointing at the newcomer.
“Now,” the man stood still in the middle of the four tables, gesturing grandly around the room, ignoring him completely “Which of you little arseholes is Draco Malfoy?”
Draco squeaked in fear, the man's eyes automatically zeroed in on him. “That would be you then,” he murmured, sounding amused, a faint hint of a smile on his face. He crossed the room far more quickly than anyone had anticipated, Severus only just had time to get a shield inbetween him and Draco. The man smirked, his hand going right through it. “I hear that trickery only works with your little magic wands. Now,” he turned back to Draco who whimpered when the hook that replaced the man's hand was jammed underneath his scrawny neck. “You keep making my Princess cry, mate . And it stops. Now.”
The entire great hall was silent, although several Gryffindors were grinning.
“Let. him. go.” Severus hissed finally reaching them.
The man dropped him in a heap, holding up his hands placatingly. Draco crumpled to the floor, scrambling backwards looking terrified. The man surveyed Snape with interest. “You’re the one that enjoys making children cry.” he mused. “Can't say I blame you. Irritating little buggers most of the time. Mine though. I get a bit…protective when someone makes mine cry.”
Severus was dimly aware of the other teachers filtering in as he focused on the interloper. “And just who, exactly, is your child?”
The man grinned, his eyes darting to the door, where Hermione Granger had just wandered through, her nose in a book. Suddenly seeming to realise that there was no noise she looked up. Her eyes widening at the sight of the man who was now grinning at her widely.
“Daddy!” she closed her eyes in mortification, “Daddy what did you do?”
“Nothing Princess,” he grinned, darting around Snape before sweeping her up and spinning her around. “This time.”
“Daddy,” she groaned even as she grinned back at him.
His smile was unrepentant as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Let's go and have dinner Princess, and then you can show me around this castle that you live in.”
“You can't stay!” Severus hissed, sounding horrified. “How did you even get in?”
The man gestured lazily with his hook towards the windows, “The lake,” he replied succinctly.
Sure enough, the windows showed a ship floating in the lake that most definitely had not been there the last time he had looked. He almost rolled his eyes when Albus appeared at his side, “I’m sure we can allow Miss Granger's father a visit, Severus.” he twinkled, “Although I did not catch your first name. I was under the impression you were a dentist, Mr Granger.”
The man rolled his eyes, “Killian Jones, at your service.” he bowed dramatically and several girls tittered. Severus barely bit back a scoff. He was worse than bloody Black.
“My stepfather is a dentist,” Hermione murmured in explanation. “Mum couldn't figure out how to get in touch with Daddy for a while.”
“I came back didn't I?” he countered.
“When I was six,” she replied with a pointed look. "It was a bit late to rename me then."
“Yes well, time passes differently on the sea, Princess you know that.”
She looked faintly amused. “Of course it does.”
“Now I believe we were about to have dinner," he prodded, brushing off her knowing look.
"Ugh,” she groaned, “Fine. Try not to embarrass me any further?”
He grinned, “No promises, Princess. Although Mr Gold requested your presence this summer. Not that i like it. In the interests of self preservation, I won't upset you too much,”
“He's harmless,” she rolled her eyes.
“Only to you.” her father muttered wryly, clambering onto the bench.
“That's your dad?” Ron demanded.
“Yes,” she agreed blandly, filling her plate.
“He's wicked!” Beside her her father smirked.
“Ah 'Mione. How exactly did a muggle get into Hogwarts?” Harry whispered in her ear.
“Oh, didn't he say?" her lips quirked into a small but wicked smile, "Daddy's not exactly a muggle.”
“He's a wizard?” Harry exclaimed.
“No!” Killian replied forcefully, wincing when his daughter's elbow collided with his ribs.
“You're in a room full of wizards. Behave!” she hissed
He flushed, “Most of the wizards I know are evil,” he muttered
“And here I thought it was just the witches,” she smirked.
“Aye, and you're the evilest of them all,” he teased.
She snorted, “You've heard of Captain Hook, Harry?”
Harry's eyes blew wide. “No!”
She smirked, “Did you know that Snow White teaches sword fighting? She's said I can have my own blade this year." Her smirk widened into a grin when her eyes met Malfoy's terrified ones over Harry's shoulder and she pitched her voice slightly louder, “My favourite of them all is Rumpelstiltskin. He has magic, after all. You'd be amazed by the curses he can create.”
Killian hid his smile in his goblet. Despite how he'd sounded, he wasn't kidding. His ruthless little witch had the capacity, and the allies, to become the evilest of them all. He was just grateful she was on his side. He took a moment to consider whether he should feel sorry for the immature little blonde. And then he remembered that, young though he might be, the little arsehole had wished her dead not a month prior. With a satisfied nod, he decided that he was willing to leave him to his fate.