Angus.
There was something small….and pink. On his sofa. Something small…and pink and…breathing? Severus froze. What the fuck was going on? He moved cautiously, the small breathing pink thing appeared to be asleep and he very much wanted it to stay that way.
“Oh! You're home!” Cassie beamed back at him,
He raised an eyebrow imperiously, despite knowing it didn't fucking work on this witch. Infuriating woman that she was. She arched one back mockingly.
He sighed, “Yes,” he agreed. If he didn't acknowledge the pink thing, it would just…go away, wouldn't it?
“Oh! Sev, you're home!” Lily grinned barging through his front door and beginning to pull bags from her pockets. “I brought you those things you asked for Cass, second bedroom?”
“Yes! I’ll be up in a moment, I should probably…” she grimaced, gesturing towards Severus.
“What is going on?” he demanded, just as the small pink thing stirred. It sat up, blinking sleepily as it peered up at him with giant brown eyes. It was…cute…in an overtly pink way. His usually level-headed wife swooped down on it and began cooing…actually fucking cooing at the thing. “Dorcas!” he growled.
“Severus!” she growled back making the tiny pink creature giggle. He refused to admit it was rather endearing. “That's right, sweetling, Daddy's silly isn't he?”
“Daddy?” he spluttered.
!Oh yes, We did discuss this Severus.” she replied indignantly.
“We fucking did not!”
“We did. We discussed adoption on account of my not being able to have children. We discussed adopting said child so they could grow up with Harry and Draco.” she replied with the long-suffering air of someone who was speaking to someone phenomenally stupid.
“Yes…in a few years,” he whined, “once they're…trained.”
“She's not a dog Severus!” Dorcas retorted sharply.
He sighed, “It's just…so…pink.”
Dorcas rolled her eyes, “She is a little girl and you can dress her in fucking black for all I care, she's ours, she's staying….Her names Hermione by the way.”
“Hermione” he mouthed with a grimace, “Where….where did she come from?”
“The orphanage. Muggleborn. Her accidental magic, Severus…Gods you should see it! Molly called me immediately, she knew we’d been looking. Her parents were rather well-off dentists, with no living relatives. They died in a gas explosion six months ago. She's been in muggle foster care since then. Sirius picked her up after someone blew all the lights in Chelsea.”
“That little thing blew out all the lights in Chelsea?” he asked incredulously as the child watched him warily.
“Yes,” she snorted, “Temper tantrum, someone had stolen her teddy.”
“Mother of Morganna.” he muttered, “Is your temper not enough?”
Dorcas laughed, standing before dropping the pink creature into Severus’ arms. “Get to know your daughter, Severus. I’m going to help Lily with her room.”
Severus froze, standing awkwardly as he had a staring contest with a toddler. Embarrassingly the toddler won. “Hello.” he tried.
She stared back seriously, “Hi.”
“It would appear I’m your…Daddy.”
“Daddy” she squealed, looking around him for the other man. His heart broke slightly at the look of devastation on her face when he didn't immediately appear. “Daddy?”
Severus gulped, “Your first Daddy is up in the sky,” he tried.
“Come down now!” she demanded, a small frown on her face.
He sighed, “He can't, you're stuck with me.”
“No Daddy?”
“No.”
“Oh,” she whispered, her tiny lip wobbling.
“Why don't we see if…Gods…why don't we see if there's cake?”
“Cake?” she checked.
“There had better be,” he muttered ominously.
Dorcas and Lily returned to find Severus feeding Hermione chocolate cake. He froze guiltily.
“Severus Snape tell me you have not fed that child half a chocolate cake before dinner?” Cassie demanded.
“Um…ok.”
“Ok, what?”
“I won't tell you.” She hexed him. And the tiny pink creature giggled.
“Daddy?” Severus looked over at his only child and wondered what she was up to. They’d had her two years and at five, he was utterly convinced she was the most intelligent child he had ever met. They all teased him mercilessly that Hermione had him wrapped around her tiny fingers. And that was fine. He was fine with that. He could say no to her. He did. Sometimes. Very occasionally. When Dorcas's ire was more deadly than the searing pain of his daughter looking disappointed.
“Yes, Princess.”
“Daddy…if Uncle Sirius had promised me a pet…but had said not to tell mummy…would that be bad?”
Severus froze, “What sort of pet?”
She shrugged her tiny shoulders, “He didn't say. He just said that I could have one for my next birthday but mummy said not til Hogwarts but I’ll take good care of it, Daddy, honest!”
Dorcas was going to murder him. He was sure of it. But she was so earnest and really, she was a good child, unlike Draco and Harry who had no subtly, she would look after it. She mothered everything else, after all. He had to admit he enjoyed that. Her scolding a cowed-looking band of men was often the highlight of any of the gatherings Dorcas insisted he attend. She’d once made James feel so guilty that he’d cried.
“Maybe Daddy should come with you and Uncle Sirius to make sure he doesn't buy you something ridiculous like a Unicorn,” he murmured finally.
Hermione's eyes lit up before she smirked, “Don't be silly Daddy, it's Uncle Luc that wants to buy me a Unicorn.”
He snorted knowing she wasn't wrong.
He met Sirius outside of Magical Menagerie, Hermione's hand clasped in his. Her miniature black robes pleased him no end. He could almost forget the pink glittery shoes. And the purple tutu shed insisted on underneath. “She's going to murder us both.” he greeted a visibly excited Sirius.
“Nah, Lils will get me first. I bought Harry a crup. Just dropped it off and left without saying a word. James will never send it back once he sees it.”
Severus groaned, “When you have children they are going to get you back.”
He smirked. “Good job I'm just going to be everyone's favourite uncle then isn't it? I’m your favourite arent I, Princess?”
“Yes,” she agreed and he grinned smugly. “After Uncle Luc. His libraries better.”
Sirius spluttered, “I have a good Library! It's…big…and…”
“In uncle Reggies house?” Hermione supplied making Severus snicker like a child.
“We need some Uncle Sirius, Hermione time.” he declared, “Those snakes are corrupting you, Princess! Uncle Sirius can turn into a pony sized dog! That's cool!”
“Yes…but Uncle Reggie turned into a kneezle and he's adorable and squishy and he lets me hug him.”
“She almost broke his ribs,” Severus muttered, “It's what started this nonsense. I think if she’d actually cried rather than sulked he would have given in to her demands to remain as her pet.”
“Probably,” Sirius agreed, still pouting “He hates it when she cries. I blame Cissa. She conditioned him." Severus laughed, well able to imagine Narcissa as a child. Sirius continued, some of his earlier excitement returning, "Now then, Princess, let's find you a pet that's not Uncle Reggie.” They stepped into the shop, Hermione's eyes immediately going wide as they scanned the room. “Go say hello,” Sirius encouraged, giving her a nudge.
They watched as Hermione cautiously moved her way across to the cages, her hands running over them as she searched for the perfect pet. Severus whirled abruptly when he heard her give a startled yelp.
“What is it!” he demanded, his eyes raking over her frantically until she bent down, hauling a sheepish looking animal into her arms.
“Daddy! Oh! Oh, Daddy please.” she begged gazing down adoringly at the animal in her arms. Sirius smirked knowing there was no way he was going to be able to say no. His death was going to be slow and painful…but…gods there was no way he could say no when she was looking at him like that.
“We’ll tell mummy it's all Uncle Sirius' fault,” he said finally as his daughter launched herself at him, curls flying, animal firmly in her grasp.
Dorcas returned home from an unbearably long day wanting to do nothing more than relax. She smiled slightly as she spotted Severus on the floor with Hermione sitting on his lap, both of them absorbed in whatever game it was they were playing as they chatted to…a soft toy. She froze when the soft toy moved, slowly turning its head to face her, its beady little eyes peering at her curiously. Hermione and Severus’ guilty ones snapped up.
“Is that…Sweet Merlin, Severus is that a niffler?”
“His names Angus, Mummy!” Hermione grinned.