We're Fine
I don’t get it. Why do people watch this?
I’m currently on my way home but I just can’t stop thinking of those movies, it hurts to watch them. I don’t know why I ever wanted to watch them. The entire time I was just insulting the characters or making off-hand comments on the movies. There was just too much material not to. Though Heather kept telling me she was gonna kick me out from watching but I stayed the entire time, so she’s a liar.
Eventually, I pull into my apartment structure and park and just sit in the car for a good ten minutes thinking about the movies that's when I realize a good ten minutes has turned into a long thirty minutes, my roommate’s gonna start questioning things because she knows I’m home but I’m still in my car not moving.
I get out of my car, lock it, and move towards the stairs to head up to my floor. Our apartment complex is old and owned by old people who apparently think that “the young have it easy,” because we still don’t have an elevator for our ten-story apartment complex, and I’m on the sixth floor so I get free cardio, yippee for me.
I walk into my apartment out of breath and flop on the couch in the little bit of a family room this apartment likes to taunt me with.
“Did you get lost?” I hear my roommate say from who knows where in the apartment. She sounds like she’s teasing me at the moment and honestly, I don’t really care to fight back, I’m too out of breath.
“Sure why not.” She snorts in laughter at me just giving up.
“So was it the stairs or the friend that is making you just give up on life right now?.”
“Just the stairs, and Twilight.”
“Told you that you wouldn’t like it.” She says as if she knows everything about me and like I’m an Idiot and well, I might be an idiot she but doesn't know everything about me… but I do say a lot drunk. Fuck What have I said to her? Does she know about everything?
“My bad but I now know so I won’t make the same mistake again unless I need to make fun of something.”
“As if you’d watch it then.”
“Fair. Why would I spend money on a whole movie saga if I can make fun of you for free.”
“I’m truly hurt that you think I’d let you get away with that. Hurts me right in my cold dead heart.”
“That’s emo.”
“No, that's sad.”
“Same thing.”
“Since when?”
“Since always.”
“Ok so, say I was crying over a dead family member, friend, pet, you know that whole deal pick your poison. Would I be emo?”
“Yes,” I said with no hesitation.
“Do you try to be this stupid or does it come naturally.”
“It’s actually inherited from both parents.”
“Ah, makes sense.” She said as if it made perfect sense and to be completely honest it did, but only if you know the whole story, and well I don’t think we have time to unpack all of that. See what I did there, I made a John Mulaney quote. That’s right in the funniest person you’ll ever meet. I’ll be here for the entire story. But that’s enough fourth wall-breaking for this story, or is it. Will the author just randomly talk to the audience on accident, stick around and find out.
“Shit now I’m being emo.”
“Dam right, you are.” There was a pause after this and it was so weird just nothing she’s looking at me im face down on the couch breathing in my hot air.
“Anyways, I’m gonna make some food, want any?” I can hear her walking into the kitchen.
“Nah, I had some good gourmet shit at Heather’s house.”
“Lucky.”
“I know I am.” Another silence followed.
“So are you gonna just-?”
“I’m going to my room.” I get up from the couch and flick her off as I walk to my room and she does the respectable thing and does it back, this is why I’m friends with my roommate.