Hinny Moments

I storm up the Gryffindor tower, taking too many steps at one time. My hand grips onto the railing, pain rattling through my chest. "Where is she?" I say to the group with sad faces.

Nessa looks up at me, "she's in our dorm." She murmurs.

I look up the staircase, already marching over to it when Hermione calls out, "wait Harry- that might not be the best."

I look at Nessa, "she's up there?" When she nods, I look back up the staircase, "then to hell with the rules."

I make my way up the slippery slope of a staircase, my mission clear in my head. Get her safe.

I match up the fifth years corridor, already knowing which room is Ginny's. "Ginny?" I call out into the empty dorm room.

My eyes search frantically for her, taking in every inch of her room. I listen out and hear the shower pelt against the floor, echoing out into her room.

I take a breath and go in. Hoping that she's not naked. That every tingle in my body is correct, praying that maybe she's not as bad as I think she is.

My heart squeezes, pushing out every single bit of blood I have in me when I see her. Curled up in a corner, hair drenched, head down into her knees. Clothes drenched under the heavy spray of water.

The room is misted, steamed with the boiling temperature surrounding it. I hear her choked sob, murmurs so quiet I can barely hear them.

I rush over, sliding the door open and sliding down onto my knees, not worrying about my glasses steaming up because of the charms I have set on them. "Gin?" I say, arms reaching out to tuck a piece of her dark hair behind her ear.

Ginny looks up at me, eyes red and swollen, body shaking as she takes my arm, "I'm sorry," she murmurs, "I'm so so sorry." Her voice cracks.

And it cracks me.

I move so I'm next to her, pulling her into my arms without a second thought, "it's okay," I tell her, my arms tightening around her so fragile body, "I'm here now. It's okay." I rock us back and forth, letting her sobs drown out all the thoughts swirling around my brain.

My head meets the back of the wall, one hand around Ginny's head to keep her to chest, the other one wrapped around her so tightly I'm scared I might brake her, but damn it she needs to know I'm here.

"I'm so sorry Harry." She murmurs into me, her body physically shaking as she continues to choke out her sobs.

Her breathing pattern starts to change, getting shallower and more intense. "Hey Gin," I say, taking her and moving her off me, "Ginny you need to look at me."

She shakes her head, hands still covering her face as her body still struggles to keep up with her heart rate. "Ginny look at me." I say, taking her chin and force her to look at me. "You need to control your breathing."

She shakes her head at me, her big brown eyes bloodshot. "Yes you do. You're having a panic attack, it's not going to get better by itself. I need you to focus on me." I move my palms to her cheek, the spray of the water sliding down on my face, "can you do that."

Ginny's face contorts, squeezing together, "I can't Harry."

I nod my head at her, thumbs reaching out to stroke her face, "Yes you can. Name three things you see right now."

My index finger reaches out to find her pulse on her neck, the heart rate pumping straight out to me, she takes a moment, her out of breath starts off by saying, "you." She hiccups, hands reaching out to cover my wrists, "All I can see is you."

I smile sadly at her, "well thats a start."

She looks up at me, looking broken, so tired that she hasn't slept in days, "I'm so broken, Harry."

I lean forward, connecting my forehead with hers, "no you're not. You're a teenager who's just had a trigger of a memory she's tried so hard to forget that she forgot the fact she's got to go through it to get over it." The tip of my nose connects with hers, "you're not broken. You're cracked. Trying to fix yourself with glue that just won't hold."

She sobs again, "I tried so hard. So hard to forget. I don't want to feel this anymore. I just want it gone. Please, make it go away."

I do the only think I can think of.

I kiss her.

I stupidly, press my lips to hers and kiss her.

I never expected her to kiss me back.

But she does.

And fireworks explode. Every inch of me explodes and I want nothing more than to relive this moment, over and over again. I want to put it in a Pandora's box and open it again and again and again. A melody that just won't stop playing.

I grasp at her chin, pulling her closer and closer and closer until there is not a single atom between us. Her legs jump over my stretched out legs, moving closer until her stomach is touching mine. When Ginny's tongue reaches out to lick at my bottom lip I pull away, "Gin- Merlin that's not what I came up here for."

She nods her head at me, tucking a wet piece of hair behind her ear, "I know," she says, her fingers clutching at my drenched shirt, "but- I just need... I need to feel Harry. You're the only one who makes me feel. Please, make me feel."

I nod at her, taking the back off her neck and pulling her towards me, only this time I open my mouth to her, letting her take everything from me she needs.
"Do you," I gulp, "do want to go to bed."

Ginny shakes her head at me, "we'll only make a mess."

She starts zipping down my jeans, taking off her soaked clothes at the same time. So in the end it's just me and her, naked, on the porcelain white shower floor.

She wraps her arms around me and sinks down, taking me whole. I stay still, letting her take the lead on whatever she wants to do.

She raises up and slams down. Hard. "Oh fuck Gin." I groan out, taking her hips to steady her.

She goes faster and faster until she's just grinding on me, her breasts crushing against my chest. She kisses my neck, obviously finding I'm burning up like a fucking oven. Her rock hard nipples rock across my skin, creating this mind blowing sensation.

She looks up from my neck, watching me as I try to control all the will not to come on the spot. She's electric, so elegant it makes my brain all fuzzy. Ginny Weasley is all I'll ever need. But I'm everything she doesn't need. And it fucking hurts.

She comes with a rugged moan and I follow soon afterwards. "Fuck." I murmur, fingertips dancing around her back.

She shivers against me, head tucked into my neck. "Let's get you dry." I murmur to her, standing us up and over to the towel rack, wiping down every crevice of her skin.

Once we're back in her dorm, I dress her in her favourite pyjamas, me in boxers and spoon her from behind, wrapping my arm around her stomach and pressing my lips to the skin around her crew neck top.

"Harry," she murmurs, her hand tickling the hand on her stomach, "promise me this forever."

I gulp, taking my head out her neck to get a good look at her. How can I tell her that? How can I promise her something I don't know that's true, I know I'll love her forever. That's not the question. The question is whether I can be there for her, with her, whether I am enough. Because she deserves the whole damn world and I'm so fucking afraid because I know I can't offer that.

I can't offer something I don't know how to obtain myself. I'm so fucked up that I can barely handle myself. How am I supposed to give her everything she needs... everything she deserves when I can't even guarantee I'll be alive in the next year. I take a breath, a lie gritting through my teeth, "I promise Gin, You and Me. Forever."

Once she's asleep, I run to the bathroom, throwing up any last remains of my honour I have left.