Unrequited
⚠️ED, SH, SUICIDE⚠️
"Dear diary
He chose her. He said he regrets it but I don't think he does. She's Gorgeous, smart, funny and a girl. Unfortunately we don't live in a world we would be accepted. But we also don't live in a world where no one has an unrequited love. I knew it was only a fling but I let myself in too deep. I let my walls fall. I kept my heart open. It was a mistake. a mistake I will never make again.
Now here I am. In front of the dark Lord telling him how great he is and how much I want to become a death eater next year. I don't really want to. I want to be free. I want to be good. I want him. But I'll never get him. This is my option. This is my way out, to forget him and move on. Though Pandora says I'll never truly move on. The sad thing is that I believe her.
I've become closer to remus lately. I asked him about James and lily. He said they were happy and I zoned out the rest of that. I'm thinking of telling him about our fling but I can't talk about it without bursting into tears.
It hurts to see him. It hurts to hear him. It hurts to remember him. It hurts to see him with her.
My favourite moment was the day he first kissed me. We became friends from prefect duties much to sirius' dislike. We were doing our duties when he said he said he had to tell me something. He told me he thinks I'm pretty and really kind. He liked the way I smelled and my snarky sarcastic comments. I said I like him too and listed of things I like about him. Then he kissed me. It felt like a million butterflies were flying in my stomach. It felt like fireworks on my lips. It felt like love. It felt like it lasted forever but not nearly long enough. Now it feels like death. Like glass shattering in my heart. It feels like pain and suffering. It feels worse than the cruciatus curse.
I need to move on. I'm slowly killing myself. I haven't eaten properly in a while and my new best friend is a sharpener. My two friends are worried about me. How adorable. I couldn't care less.
I can't escape pain. From myself. From my family. From past lovers.
It hurts
Too much
I don't think I can do it anymore. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to go back to school and see him with her then be hated on by everyone except the people I hate. It's all too much.
So James. I know you will probably end up being given this from my brother or someone. So I love you. I have done for a while.
I love you James potter and I know you don't love me back. So be with her. Treat her well. Be nice. Do good in the world.
Well I guess this is goodbye world.
Sincerely R.A.B" tears flooded down James' face as he finished the last sentence. His heart became broken that very moment. "But I do love you regulus. I always did love you. I always will love you."
Turns out the unrequited love wasn't an unrequited love until regulus committed suicide and left James without a love.
He did go on and marry lily. He did what regulus asked of him. They had a kid. Harry. James never forgot regulus. But he carried on. All the memories still in his heart.