Do you love her?
Regulus POV:
There he sat. Next to her. I hate her. She's all over him and he's doing nothing about it. Probably because it's awkward and he doesn't want to be outed. But he's mine and I'm jealous. He should be looking at me, sitting with me, talking with me.
It's only rumoured they are dating but sometimes it feels like it. They aren't... I hope. Because he's mine. He loves me, I love him. James potter is the love of my life.
All day she follows him round like a little puppy. While he's messing about with his mates. While he's in class. While he's in the library studying. Right up until he goes to bed. He doesn't show any interest back but she doesn't care.
We meet every night. I'm waiting for him now. I need to confront him. I can't live my life being jealous because he's scared to come out, he doesn't even have to come out, just tell her to piss off.
"Hey reg, how are you doing?"
"James what's going on between you and lily?"
"Nothing, she's just all over me. She thinks I'm still interested"
"Well sometimes it looks like you don't care and it doesn't bother you"
"Of course it bothers me, do you not think I would rather that be you?"
"So why can't that be me?"
We were shouting now. Luckily we are at the astronomy tower so no one can hear us.
"Reg... you know it can't be like that. My best friend is your brother. He would freak out"
"Maybe he won't, and anways can you not just tell lily to piss off"
"I've tried, she doesn't listen. It only makes her more attracted"
"But I watch your eyes as she walks by, friendly and inviting. That's going to make her more attracted and make her think you like her"
"I'm just trying to be a friendly person"
"I get you're friendly with everyone. But with her it's a different story. You need to just flat out tell her your not interested and say it's not because I like you. Just tell her"
"Like I said I've tried"
"How have you tried? What did you say?"
"I tell her I'm not really interested and I'm not interested in dating at the moment"
"James. Oh my god how you could you be that dumb. By saying your not interested in dating at the moment you are telling her. Not right now, in a bit tho."
"I didn't intend it like that"
"Well... I don't know what to do James. I'm jealous. I love you and I want everyone to know. I don't care about sirius or my mother. I just want you and I was hoping you felt the same but I guess you don't love me as much as I love you"
it felt good to tell him how I feel, but I feel bad about getting angry. And I don't actually believe he doesn't love him as much as he loves me. I just said it. I wasn't thinking and now I feel worse.
"Reg, I do love you just as much if not more"
"I'll see you tomorrow James, I need to calm down"
"Oh ok I get it, I'll see you tomorrow"
As I'm walking out I hear him say
"I really do love you"
This breaks my heart and I don't know why.
It's the next day and I feel awful for going off at James like that. I've sent him an owl saying I'm sorry . But he's opened it and just sat there looking the same. He looks lonely and depressed.
Oh god here comes lily. She looks different, like she's done herself up a bit. She's trying to pull him away. But he isn't going. He sat there. She's talking to him. Whatever she said it caused James to freak out in what looks like disgust. She looks angry now. Everyone has noticed and the room has gone silent.
"But James why won't you go out with me?"
"Because I don't like you"
"So who do you like then?"
"I don't have to tell you that"
"I think I deserve to know why you won't go out with me after you've led me on all year. You act like your not interested but I know you secretly like me. That's why you've been shoving me off, so you don't get too attached. So tell me now what is the real reason?"
"Fine then lily, if you want to know so bad. I'm gay, and im in love with regulus black"
Oh my god is he really doing this. What about my brother he looks shocked and confused.
"Oh that's a laugh James. You were all over me two years ago, your not gay. You love me we all know it."
"No lily I don't love you. Two years ago I was faking being in love with you because someone thought I was gay. I had to hide it so I used you as an excuse. And I do love regulus. He is the bloody love of my life. I love him he loves me and I don't care who knows it. So piss off"
He stormed off and now everyone is looking at me. Lily is embarrassed and sirius looks fuming.
I didn't know what else to do other than find james. As I'm walking out people are bombarding me with questions asking me if it's true. I reply to none.
Where could he be? What would James do? It's just a guess but I'm heading to the astronomy tower. I hope he's there.
Oh thank god he is. As soon as he sees me he says "reg I'm so sorry. I didn't realise what I was doing it just came out and I-"
I cut him off with a kiss.
"Thank you james. I'm sorry for last night and I'm sorry you had to come out that way"
He's smiling
"I love you reg, I really do. More than anything in the world. I would do anything for you and if that means outing myself to make you feel happier then I'll gladly do it. And it feels kinda nice not having to keep it a secret. Not having to keep you a secret"
I have no clue what to say. He's perfect.
"We should head back and talk to your brother, he must be fuming"
"He looked it, where would he be?"
"Probably sulking to moony in our dorm about how I've betrayed him"
I chuckled at this.
We start heading towards the dorm and it baffles me as to how I've got this man to be mine.
We've arrived at the common room and all eyes are on us. There is a crowd around a crying lily sympathising her. Pathetic if you ask me.
We enter james' dorm and it looks so... homely. It's nothing like the slytherin dorms. They are more lifeless. Sirius starts shouting "what the actual fuck is it true james?"
James looks like he doesn't know what to do.
"Yes we are dating brother"
"Why? Why didn't you tell me? How long? Do you actually love each other? What do you intend to do with my baby brother?"
He's mad. He talks fast when he's mad.
"Sirius be quiet, I can't handle this today. I've just outed myself to the whole school so you can either calm down and calmly ask questions or shut the fuck up and piss off"
"James I'm sorry"
I feel so awkward. He outed himself for me. He outed me too but most people probably thought I was gay anyway.
"It's fine pads and yes we really do love each other. I most definitely love him."
"and I love james. Sirius please don't go mad at James. He treats me well. Doesn't push my limits. He makes me happy."
James is just smiling at me and sirius seems to have calmed down.
"Ok, I need time to adjust. But seriously james. Out of everyone you could've been with, my brother"
We are all chuckling. At least he's calmed down.