he was in the astronomy tower again. he always was.
james studied his name. regulus black. it looks so pretty in that font. regulus black. he looks so pretty.
why couldn’t he love him? why not? he could love lily. how was it any different?
sirius, james thought. that was how it was different.
he looked over at his sleeping friend, who’s hair had been plastered in front of his face. it wouldn’t kill him. but it might kill james if he didn’t see him again.
regulus black. his footsteps were moving. where were they going?
james stood up, never taking his eyes off of the parchment in his hands.
the corridors were dead silent. too silent. james looked at the map. he was heading for the black lake.
he stuffed the map in his pocket and ran. there was no time for shoes. there was no time for a sweater. he needed him; he needed all of him.
regulus, he thought as he ran, regulus, regulus, regulus.
he was perfect. he wasn’t like sirius. they had the same grey eyes, but he didn’t look like him. they grew up the same, but he didn’t act like him. regulus was regulus.
and james wanted regulus. he wanted his lips on his. he wanted his fingers in his hair. hands on skin, scorching, burning, and ripping with passion.
there he was. slender, staring, and stunning. the moon glinted off his pale skin, and his black curls hung in front of his eyes.
‘reg!’ james shouted. ‘regulus!’
he turned. he smiled. ‘james.’
perfect.
he kissed him. his perfectly pink lips were on his, and james swore this was heaven. he was heaven.
‘swim with me,’ he said, tugging off his night shirt.
‘i don’t know how,’ regulus replied.
‘i’ll hold you.’ he’d always hold him.
regulus hesitated before taking off his black shoes and meeting the water. james stumbled as he pulled off his pants, now clad in only his underwear.
‘you can’t swim like that,’ james said as regulus looked at him. ‘you’ll be too heavy.’
regulus looked at his slytherin robes. ‘why not?’
james sighed. ‘at least take off the robe. and the sweater.’
regulus conceded.
the water was freezing. toe curling-ly, bone chilling-ly freezing. james could hear the sound of his teeth chattering echo across the dark waters.
‘i’m sure you wish you kept your clothing on,’ regulus remarks, wading further into the lake.
‘luckily i’ve got you to keep me warm,’ james replies, pulling to boy to him. ‘my own blanket.’
regulus rolls his eyes as james wraps his arms around him. he was cold.
‘don’t drop me,’ regulus whispers.
‘never.’
and then he’s kissing him. cold on hot, ice on fire.
water droplets collect on the black curls that clung to the back of regulus’ neck. the moisture that whispered in the air dripped onto james’ nose, and they parted. james smiled.
regulus furrowed his eyebrows. ‘why are you looking at me like that?’ he asks.
‘like what?’
‘like you’re hopelessly in love.’
‘and what if i am?’ james says gently tugging at a curl in front of his eyes. ‘what would you do?’
‘i would tell you what a fool you are,’ he tells him kissing his ear.
‘a fool?’
‘a fool.’
james lay a kiss on his jaw. and another. and another. ‘don’t make me drop you,’ he whispered in his ear.
regulus shivered. ‘james…’
‘yes?’ he nibbled at his earlobe.
‘you can’t love me.’
he pecked his nose. ‘why not?’
regulus gave him a look. ‘you know why.’
‘just let me hold you. just- just let it be us. without- them,’ james pleads, grazing his face with his knuckles.
regulus squeeze his eyes shut and nods. ‘i’m sorry.’
‘don’t apologize.’
‘sorry.’
‘reggie…’
he lay his head on james’ shoulder. his hair tickled his cheek. ‘i’m sorry,’ he whispers. ‘i just-‘
‘sshh,’ james whispers, petting him. ‘you don’t need to explain. not to me.’
regulus nods. ‘okay. thank you.’
he kissed his head and pulled him closer.
‘james?’ regulus says after a few moments. ‘it’s freezing.’
james laughs. ‘hell yes.’
‘did you bring towels?’
‘no.’
‘james-‘
‘relax. you can wear my shirt.’
‘what will you wear?’
james grinned and winked at him. regulus rolled his eyes. ‘james.’
‘regulus,’ james says, mocking his tone.
‘you’re going to have to carry me out now,’ regulus says.
‘i wouldn’t have it any other way.’
and then he kissed him again. and again. and again.
sleep would just have to wait.