Second Year - Secrets
Remus Lupin
Its now late september and Remus’s first full moon back at Hogwarts is tonight. And hes on edge, the wolf doesnt respond kindly to changes.
His emotions have been all over the place these past couple of moons and he cant help it.
The morning sun’s beaming hrough the window and remus hd just woken up from his usual cheery friend James Potter.
Remus sits up on his bead and groans, rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes.
“Remus are you not coming?” James asks.
“Just give me a bit,” Remus sighs, his body already feels sore and his stomach is all in knots.
“Are you alright?” Peter questions.
“I just dont feel well, you guys dont have to wait for me” Remus looks up to his friends, and the three are all looking at eachother suspiciously. “Whats wrong?” Remus questions
“Nothing!” Sirius says arubtedly “We should go, see you later” Siris adds pushing the two other boys out of the room.
Remus feels a little hurt by the matter, sitting quietly in the empty oom he cant help but feel hatred towards himself.
Hed just be a normal kid if it went for this dumb burdan over his shoulder hed be like the rest of the kids.
Remus drags himself out of bed. Putting on his uniform he looks in the mirror pulling on his face, looking at every scar.
His stomach twisting he stops, slinging his bag over his shoulder he heads down to breakfeast.
“Whats wong remus?” Peter asks as he sits down.
“Just dont feel well “ Remus slouches. Peter looks to Sirius and James worryingly. “What?” Remus looks at the boys “What happened?”
“Hm? Nothing” Peter answers.
“Right” Remus sighs, putting food on his plate.
***
Its now later in the afternoon after getting a minute away from his friends, remus is walking to the infirmary . He hears soft voices coming from inside.
Remus knocks on the door before entering , when he opened the door his eyes come in contact with Madam Promfrey and Professer Mcgonagall, standing closly
“Remus!” Madam Promfrey say arubttedly, stepping away from his professor.
“Hi?” Remus says confused.
“What are you doing here?” She asks
“I just wanted to check in with you before tonight” answers remus.
“Tonight?”
Remus sighs.
“Moon” he says bluntly.
“Right!, right, im so sorry for not remembering remus” She apologizes
“Its alright” Remus shrugs.
“Here you sit i’ll get you ready” She smiles softly, leaving the room .
Remus sits down in a chair and looks at his his Proffesor whos standing silently.
“Hi professor” remus says cheekishly
“Hello mr lupin”
“Alright?” Remus questions.
Mgonagall sighs. Sitting down next to remus “Yeah, Are you?” She asks.
Remus shrugs.
“How do you feel?”
“Odd” Remus forms his lips into a straight line.
Mgonagall hums in response. “Alright !” Madam Pomfrey comes back.
Mgonagall chips her head up looking at Promfrey.
“Ive got you a blanket, pillow , first aid , and some extra pajamas” She says holding stack or things in her arms.
“Thankyou” Remus smiles lightly. Thinking of the night of him makes his head spin but he appreciates her care.
“Of course, all you have to do is bring yourself and comfy clothes. Alright hun?”
And turn intoa werewolf.
“Okay” Remus says.
“Alright”
“See you tonight” remus stands up from his seat. Leaving the room remus is walking down the hall.
As he enters the common room he sees all of his friends , enjoying their saterday/
Remus walks right pass them heading to his dorm. He sits on his bed and takes a deep breath.
“Remus?” He hears a voice at the door.
“Yeah?”
“Are you okay?” the person steps closer and remus sees its sirius.
“Yeah” Remus sighs.
“You’ve been off all day.” Sirius states.
“Im fine” remus says, sounging more irritated then he means.
Sirius laughs lightly.
“Whats so funny?” Remus says.
“You”
“Me?”
“Yeah you” Sirius repeats.
“Youre like this randomly all the time” Sirius edges closter.
Remus' throat feels like it's going dry.
"Can I sit?"
"Sure" remus moves over on his bed. And Sirius sits down Remus can feel his heart beating in his chest .
"What's wrong with you?" Sirius asks bluntly.
"Jesus” remus laughs dryly “Pretty harsh Sirius "
"You know what I mean, is it your mum?"
Remus thinks for a second for a lie to tell him.
"Yeah " Remus lies.
"Is she sick again?" Sirius lightens his voice.
"Shes been sick," Remus answers honestly "this summer she could barely get out of bed. Sirius sighs.
"Do you think she'll get better?"
"No" The word came out of remus’s mouth before he could really think about it. And it makes him feel ill.
Sirius stay silent for a moment.
"I should go" remus says
"Why?"
"I dont feel well"
"So you should stay here" sirius insists.
"I'm going to the infirmary "
"You dont look sick” Sirius insists.
"I am" Remus gets up and goes to his wardrobe , grabbing a pair of pajamas .
"I'll see you tomorrow"
"Tomorrow?" Sirus asks as he stands up.
"Yes, tomorrow " Remus answers.
"But-" Sirius starts.
"Enough! You're giving me a headache " remus shouts, bringing a hand to his temple.
Sirius's posture slumps and his face makes a look that makes Remus regret yelling . Remus goes to the door to leave, looks back he see Sirius standing in silence..
"See you tomorrow?" Sirius asks not looking a remus but down at his shoes
"Yeah" Remus answers.
"Okay "
Remus gets to madam Promfrey as the sun sets, and he can feel his chest tightening more and more every second . She brings him out to the whooping willow and remus breath feels heavy.
"Are you alright dear?" Madam Promfrey asks .
.
Remus nods in response . Finding it hard to form the words.
"Alright. You know the drill , I'll see you in the morning, oka-" madam Promfrey stops "sweetie you look ill"
"I feel ill " remus answers.
Madam Promfrey clicks her tongue at the roof of her mouth. Opening her brief case that's filled with medical supplies.
She pulls out a potion "this should help" she passes him the bottle.
"Do I have to drink the whole thing?" Remus asks looking up to Promfrey
She nods
Remus sighs as he opens the bottle. Shrugging it down he feels even more sick at the taste.
"Feel better ?"
"A little " remus answers, truthfully even if Remus didn't feel sick he'd still feel horrible.
He's going to be transforming into a horrendous monster tonight and that makes him sick to his stomach as is.
"Okay, I should get going it's nearly dark , you stay safe hun" Madam Promfrey says, closing her case. Remus hums in response, not looking at her as she gets ready to leave.
"Dear" she brings a hand to his shoulder "I know its tuff, and you are so brave to just be dealing with this' Remus looks up into Pomfrey's eyes , he can feel his chin start to wobble.
Madams Promfrey's has a soft smile and her eyes have a worried look in them.
"Do you need a hug" People usually says 'do you want a hug?’ but remus feels as though this phrase is more reasonable.
Remus nods .
Ad Madam Promfrey wraps her arms around his, and remus doesn't respond for a moment
Remus arms are down by his side, and he wished didnt have this pity right now, and that he was a normal kid like everyone in school
Not getting hugged because you're about to turn into a monster
Remus wraps his arms around her, feeling himself melt away and a stinge start in his throat from the tears he's holding back.
The hug ends, and madam Promfrey leaves.
Remus changes into his spare pajamas so he doesn't ruin his uniform and he sits down on his bed.
He can start to feel his loneliness start to surround him again.
Why?
Why did he have to be like this?
Remus brings his legs to his chest wrapping his arms around himself.
He can feel in his gut the moon rising.
He decided to close his eyes and just let it happen.
Let it take over his body, and let himself disconnect and lose control.
***
Remus wakes up in the morning to an ache in his chest.
He opens his eyes and sees blood bleeding through his pajamas .
Unbuttoning his top he grabs the first aid under his bed.
Grabbing out the gause and a bandaid.
After he fixes himself up he changes into his good pair of pajamas and sits on his bed, waiting for Madam Promfrey to come through the door.
***
Later in the morning. Remus is leaving the infirmary his uniform in arm. He gets to his dorm and collapses onto his bed.
He let's himself drift off for a moment. Until he hears someone call his name.
"Remus" Sirius claps.
"Huh" Remus sits up and runs his eyes. "What?" He questions. He sees his three friends standing in front of him.
"Where were you?" James asks
"Huh?" Remus repeats.
"Last night?" Says Peter.
"The infirmary " Remus answers.
"No" Sirius says
"We checked the infirmary last night you weren't there "
"You checked?" Remus widens his eyes.
"Yeah, we checked. Where the hell were you?" Sirius says.
Remus can't think of a lie. He can't think of anything
"You leave suddenly every month" Sirius continues. Remus feels his stomach turn
"Coincidentally on a fully moon , every time"
Remus feels sick.
"That's just a coincidence " Remus claims.
Its not.
"You have scars all over " sirus adds
"Sirius-" james starts. "No I'm not done." Sirius lifts his hand up to stop james. "And on top of all that you aren't even at the infirmary when you leave "
Remus opens his mouth to speak.
But nothing comes out
"A dog he said " sirius laughs .
"Sirius-“ Remus cuts in .
"Just says it's not true" Sirius exclaims.
"Say what's not true?!" Remus questions
"That's your not- " Sirius pauses. Remus feels his breath quicken. Not answering Sirius "remus" sirius sighs. "Are you a wearwolf?"