First Year- Worrisome One
James Potter
James is walking on the train, trunk in hand Peter following behind me. He can't help but feel a lump in his throat. Waiting, expecting to see Sirius , but he's not here, not yet.
He has been constantly thinking about Sirius for the past two weeks , he can't seem to help it, he wants make sure he's alright. But he cant
"James! An empty compartment" He hears Peter shout from behind him. He whips around and Peter's already waddling into the train compartment struggling with his trunk. He goes in shortly after him and sit by the window. The train starts then stops at the next train station, Sirius's train station.
James waits a few minutes, waiting for Sirius to pop into the compartment, big grin plastered on his face. He can hear his heart pounding in his chest and his leg bouncing up and down. But he never comes. James gets up and look left and right to, expecting to see Sirius looking around for him ,but no ones there. Atleast no one that hes looking for.
He feel the weight on his shoulders grow heavier. Chest growing tighter, he lets out a shaky breath.
Where the hell is he?
"James" He hear Pete call from his seat "stop worrying " he says bluntly.
He turns around to face him. "I'm not worrying," he lies.
"James, I know when you're worrying, and right now you are in fact worrying" Peter says knowingly.
'I can't help it' James wants to say. He can't help worrying, hes supposed to be the one that fixes things , he has to worry.
"James , just sit down and Relax, oh look, it's the trolley, how about we fill your stomach, it'll calm you down" Peter smiles warmly rubbing his hands together.
The lady with the sweets trolley comes passing by our compartment. "Anything from the trolly dear?"
James opens his mouth to speak, when Peter interrupts him
"Uhm we'll have four chocolate frogs, two sugar quills, Remus likes chocolate right, hm , some honeydukes chocolate, ooo! and two licorice wands, thank you" Peter reaches into his bag to get money.
"That'll be eight sickles," the lady smiles. Peter stands up and she passes the sweets to Peter and Peter hands her the sickles.
The lady leaves and Peter sits back down "Here ya go" he throws James a chocolate frog.
"Thanks Pete" he smiles unwrapping the chocolate frog.
After another hour they make the last stop. And hs heart's beating so fast he can't hear anything around him. James's left leg is shaking up and down. He's not even going to be at this stop, why does he think he's going to show up right now
"Remus!" Peter shouts, standing at the door of the compartment waving his hand looking to his left. Remus comes up to their compartment.
"helô" Remus says, making a sheepish smile and his body leans towards the side he's holding his trunk in. "Alright mate?" Remus asks, looking right at James
"Yeah-yeah, lovely " he says forming a straight line with his lips.
"No he's been on edge this whole train ride " Peter says.
"Ah, right, no Sirius?" Remus asks, putting his trunk above us.
"Nope" James pop the p at the end of the word. He looks to Remus and see a look of weariness flicker across his face.
He then looks at Peter and he doesn't look too thrilled either, Remus sits down next to Peter and they sit in silence for a moment.
"Maybe he's already at school" peter shrugs, he sounds more like he's asking than stating.
"Why would he already be at school?" Remus asks bluntly.
"Well I don't know, maybe his parents brought him in early" peter shrugs again.
"Well that's just grand?" Remus says sarcastically.
He sits there looking out the windows, arms crossed and he can see his hair falling right above his eyes. James blows the curls up with his breath and adjusts his glasses.
He doesnt know what to think, or what to say in this moment, he doesnt know if Sirius is alright he just knows that hes not going to sit here and now know anything, t's a long train ride until he gets back to school. "I need some air" He says standing up and walking out, he turns around for a short second and see Remus look to Peter and Peter look back, worry washed over both of their faces.
He walks down the hall of the train when he stop in his tracks.
Lily Evans.
Sitting in a compartment with Mary Macdonald, and Marlene McKinnon.
Her laughter fills his ears. James hear flutters at the sound
"Oh look who it is" Marlene raises her eyebrows in a teasing manner.
James clears his throat "oh-uhm hi" he adjusts his collar nervously.
Why are you being like this just act normal James, normal.
Lily looks up to James from her seat.
"Yes James?" She furrowed her eyebrows.
"Sorry, but have you guys seen Sirius?" James asks.
"No," Lily says, looking to Mary and Mary shrugs.
"No, I haven't seen him" Mary says.
"Me neither," Marlene says.
"Well it's just his stop was a while ago, and I haven't seen him" He leans against their compartment door frame.
James keeps his gaze away from lily, knowing that he cant look at her without becoming a fumbeling mess
"That's odd," Mary says raising her eyebrows.
"Yeah it is odd, I've haven't seen James potter without Sirius attached at his hip, since we got here" Marlene laughs slightly.
That causes Lily to elbow her side, "Marls" she hissed under breath.
"Yeah, yeah sorry" Marlene looks at James and forms a straight line with her mouth.
"Well I'll just go, thanks for the help" James says tapping the door frame.
"Yeah, anytime , hope you find him soon" Mary says.
James leaves and the first person he bumps into is none other than Severus Snape.
"Don't you mind potter?" Snape hisses.
"Ugh," James groans. "Look snape, I don't really feel like dealing with you right now"
"Where's your twin?" he asks amused.
"Oh fuck off" James spits out
"Did he finally leave you and finally listen to his family?" Snape raises his brows.
"No" James swallows dryly, "Look, I don't want to deal with you right now "
"Then where is he potter? where is he?"" He repeats.
He feels his anger bubbling over.
"It seems like your bestfriend doesnt want to be around a blood traitor like you, huh?"
"Shut your mouth!" He hisses.
"It's a real shame, the rest of your friends are a lot of loonys, one looks like they just got attacked by a bear and the other is three hundred pounds" Snape laughs.
James thinks hes just about at my wits end. He can feel his hands turn into fists. Next thing he knows his fist is colliding with Snape's face.
"Ever talk about my friends like that I'll fuck you up ,do you hear me?!" He yells
Snape immediately punches James back
"Asshole," Snape says, putting a hand up to his face.
"Youre the asshole" James grits out
He sees people coming out of their compartments .
Including Remus and Peter.
He feels Peter grab hold of his arm.
"James c'mon he's not worth it, let's go"
James sees Remus standing there with his eyes wide.
"What the hells the matter with you two” Lily shouts at the two boys.
“us two? He started it!” Says Severus.
“oh come off it Snape” says Marlene..
James tightens his jaw. Not responding to her "Yeah let's go" He says to Peter. They get back to their compartment and sit down.
Remus shuts the door and asks " what happened back there?"
James scoff "its snivellus being a git as always".
"What'd he do?" Remus asks.
"It's not important, " he answers
Nothing happens after that , Remus doesn't ask anymore questions. He just sits down and reads. James look out the window for the rest of the train ride. He feels his heart skip a beat when the train stops. He grabs his trunk and rush off the train.
Once they enter the school, james starts looking for Sirius .His chest tightens everytime he sees someone with shoulder length black hair. James walks into the great hall with Remus and Peter trying to keep up with him.
Then he sees him. Sirius Black ,sitting next to Frank Longbottom laughing.
He feels a breath escape his lips , and a weight fall off shoulders . James basically runs to the gryffindor table.
"Sirius!" James shouts, not even at the table yet.
That causes Sirius to look up and he sees his eyes widen.
He stands up instantly "James!" Sirius cheers. James makes it to the table and hes able to catch his breath. Sirius and James instantly hug.
"Jesus Christ , I was worried about you" James states hugging Sirius tightly.
"Awe how sweet" Sirius snorts.
They stop hugging and James looks at him. The circles under his eyes are darker than before and his hair is more messy than usual.
"Are you alright? " james asks, taking a good look at him.
"Yeah, fine" he answers with no emotion.
"Why didn't you go on the train?" James have another question .
Sirius opens his mouth to talk, but then looked to the left of him. James looks to his left and there stands Remus and Peter.
"Can we just talk about it later?" Sirius asks.
"Yeah. Yeah of course mate" James smile patting him on the shoulder. Sirius nods. They all sit down for dinner.
"Hey Sirius, how was your Christmas?" Peter asks, filling the silence of the four of them
"It was fine," Sirius says, not looking up from his plate.
"Right," Peter ends the conversation.
James looks over to Remus , whos looking at Sirius, concerned painted over his face
After dinner they head to our dorm.
"Hey what'd you guys get for Christmas?" Peter asks.
"Oh you guys won't believe what I got '' Remus says excitedly.
Peter raises his eyebrows ``what is it?" Peter asks excitedly.
"My mum got me the new David Bowie album" Remus pulls out his vinyl.
“David. Who?” James questions.
Remus drags a hand down his face . “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that”
“Oh, is it muggle music?” Peter asks .
Remus glares at them both before answering “yes”
James looks to Sirius his back straight as he sits up.
"Oh my Merlin! Wait we have to play it right now" Peter jumps up.
"Sirus can we play this on your record player?"
"Wait what?" Sirius asks, looking at Peter than Remus
"Can we use your record player?" Peter asks.
"Oh yeah, of course." He says, emotionless.
As Peter and Remus Set up the record, James walks over to Sirius's bed and sits on the edge of it.
"Alright?" James ask.
"Hm?" Sirius looks up at him
"Are you alright?" James asks again.
"Yeah, Why wouldn't I be?" Sirius furrows his eyebrows.
James opend his mouth to answer when music fills the room.
"Oh this one's my favorite on the album!" Remus says excitedly, James has never seen him like this.
A melody fills the room.
Sirius looks over to Remus amused by his sudden energy, he sees Remus smiling, tapping his foot in a rhythm on the floor. As the lyrics start.
I still don't know what I was looking for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
"Wait this is the best part!" Remud holds out his hands.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the stranger)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer one
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the stranger)
Ch-ch-Changes
Remus sings along quietly, and he has a soft smile on his face.
Peter sways his body a little to the beat of the song
James looks back over to Sirius and he has a slight smile on his face.
After a couple songs Remus turns it off.
“Alright that's enough for the night, I'm knackered” Remus says yawning and stretching out his arms .
“Ugh you lot are no fun” Peter groans.
“Mhm, Nighty night Pete” Remus snorts.
“Yeah, nighty night” Peter yawns, and goes to his bed
“Good night” James adds
“Good night ” Sirius says after him.
James sees Peter smile, as he closes his bed curtains to go to sleep.
he looks back to sirius. “Now are you going to tell me?” he asks.
“Yes , but one second” Sirius leans over and shuts his curtains “Silencio” he whispers.
James opens his mouth in shock “I didn't know you knew how to do that”
Sirius shrugs, grinning “Perks of being in the black house” He snorts lightly.
“So? What happened? " James leans his head to the side.
“Nothing really happened” Sirius looks away from him/
“Bullshit” James says rather harshly sitting up, Which causes Siriuss shoulders to tense up, he feels his chest tighten at this.
“Look, Sirius, you know you can tell me anything, right?” he softens his voice.
“I know that” Sirius looks back to me. “Ijust- I don't know how to explain it, It is normal right? How they treat me?”
James doesnt know how to respond to that, he does know that's not normal, doesn't he?
“I don't want them to hurt him James” Sirius says, voice almost breaking.
“Hurt who?” James questions
“Regulus, I upset them before I left, what if they take it out on him ?” Sirius' lip quivers in a frown, and his nose is scrunched up. James pulls Sirius into a hug. “I don't want him to get hurt” Sirius voice cracks.
“I know you dont” James rub Sirius's back as he sobs into his chest.
“I know it's just what parents do , but why does it hurt so much?” Sirius asked..
James Pull back from the hug “Sirius?”
“Yeah?” Sirius furrows his eyebrows and wipes the tears from his cheeks.
“Who told you that was normal?” he asks, feeling a lump come up his throat.
“My Mother, Why?” Aks Sirius .
“That's not normal Sirius” james sats blutly
Sirius’s face drops “What do you mean, your parents don't?” Sirius looks at James, biting down on his bottom lip, holding back tears/
James shakes his head no. He sees an emotion flicker across his face.
Sirius lets a shaky breath escape his mouth. “I see,” He mumbles , not making eye contact with James.
“Sirius, look at me” Sirius looks up at him “I'm your best friend, okay? And the last thing I want is for you to get hurt”.
Sirius nods.
“I'm sorry” Sirius says.
“Don't apologize, “ he states, forming his lips into a straight line.
Sirius rubs his eyes again and lets out a dry chuckle.
“Okay enough sulking , what'd you do this christmas?” Sirius asks, sitting up .
“Well, so I went Christmas shopping with Peter and our mums and guess who we bumped into” He tells him, changing the subject sirius cearly wants to get away from.
“Who?” Sirius raises eyebrows.
“Remus” he answers
“Ha, what are the odds?” Sirius says.
“So my mum invited him and his mum over for Christmas Eve dinner.”
“Wait, his mum went?” Sirius tilts his head.
“Yeah why?” James asks
“Remus told me she was sick” Sirius furrows his eyebrows.
“He told you that?” James furrows his eyebrows with confusion.
But Remus’s mom seemed just fine during dinner.
“Yeah, he said she was sick before Remus got here” Sirius shrugs.
“I didn't know that, she didn't look too sick to me”
“Well I don't know Remus didn't go far into detail about it, you know him” Sirius shrugs again.
I guess I dont
Does anyone really know Remus?
“But I wouldn't worry too much about it” Sirius says, raising his eyebrows to me.
“I'm not,” james mutters
“Sure you’re not” Sirius nods knowingly .
“I'm not worrying “ he repeats to himself.
“You're always worrying James” Sirius furrows his eyebrows.
“Alright mate, I'm knackered” James yawns.
“Okay, night James” Sirius forms his lips into a smile.
“Night- oh wait! I almost forgot to tell you!” He says abruptly.
“What is it” Sirius asks half worried, half curiously .
“I totally beat the shit out of snivellus today” James says grinning.
Sirius’s jaw drops “What!” he waves his hands out “Is that how you got that?” SIrius points to my cheek.
James nods
“So what happened?” Sirius raises his eyebrows curiosity washed over his face.
“Okay so I was looking around the train for you so i asked Lily and her mates if they saw you, and i guess snape was mad i talked to lily, and was saying rubbish like about remus and peter” James tells
“Like what?” Sirius asks.
“Well he said Remus looks like he got attacked by a bear, and said Peter weighed like three hundred pounds, so i punched him” James shrugs.
“That twat” Sirius spits . ” “Well deserved punch” sirius grins laugh lightly/
“Very well deserved” James smiles letting a small laugh escape his mouth.
“NIghty night Sirius” James says pulling the curtains open.
“Good night James, thanks for uh-” Sirius starts and James interrupt.
“Any time” Siruss lips curl up
James walk over to his bed and shut the curtains and stares up.
Maybe I do worry too much.
Maybe that's what I'm good at.
Maybe I should be the one who worries.
That's what I'm good at.
Worrying .