remus lupin and phase 1/4
*
Everything was burning and falling down around him, and he had no power to stop it, it made him wonder if he ever had any control of his life. His friends shared mistrusting looks, for they still couldn't figure out how Jamie knew, and everyone was on edge, an argument ready to start at even the most backhanded sounding sigh. It was all falling around him in clumps, his friends? Hardly could look at each other (though some of that was from shame), his career? He didn't even know if he still owned his music! His... Well to put it simply Sirius and he hadn't exactly had time to talk.
He very much blamed himself.
It wasn't long after Sirius had gotten off the phone with his brother, grumbling about having to wait on hold with the office line, that they had all ushered home, and a new plan formed.
- make Jamie think they are still loyal to him and their contract
- secretly meet with Marlene's new management
- hopefully, sign a deal
- put Jamie in his fucking place.
Step number 3’s success is crucial for step number 4, and Remus would be lying if he said he didn't hope step 3 worked. His confusion had turned into a new form of rage against the man who had been running his life for the last 4 years. He really hopes they can pull this off.
The whole idea actually sends a rush of adrenaline through him, so akin to the one he felt back at school when they pulled off a big prank or spontaneous show. He feels so nostalgic that it almost makes up for the whole getting stabbed in the back thing! Almost.
He had been trying really hard not to be a dick about the whole thing, though he knew he wasn't the best person about it. It wasn't exactly easy to throw away blind trust you had in someone you had known for five years, and who had been active in making him who he was for the past four years. He trusted Jamie, and now he doesn't know if he can ever trust someone like that again. It isn't the worst thing, he had decided, he had plenty of people, who else could he possibly need to trust? He had James, who he would give anything for and knew the boy would do the same. He had Peter, who was his brother, who would listen to him ramble for hours and hours and never complain even if he had no clue what Remus was talking about. He had Marlene, who had really grown fond of, her quick humour and blunt demeanour were now strangely comforting. And He supposed he had Lily too, she had been texting him a lot lately (He assumed James had seen her), and it was hard not to trust Lily, she was just that kind of person. And he had Sirius…
Sirius who he would drop everything for if he asked.
Sirius who had held him while he cried back in their school days and never judged, Sirius who had seen him at his worst and best. Sirius who still cared despite the fact Remus had actively tried to make him not. Sirius…
Sirius who he would give the entire fucking universe.
The stars, the planets, the moon.
Ask me and it's yours, I’ll find a way.
I would do anything for you.
He would, he whole heartily would do any single thing Sirius asked of him, especially now. He and Sirius had hardly talked, and he knew he was partially to blame, he was determined to fix it all, if not for the sake of his sanity, for the band. Sirius had been in a strop since the beginning of the whole Jamie thing, and though it was only day 3 (which honestly didn't even fucking matter with how on edge everyone was, scared that in a single second Jamie would call or burn their contract or something.) Remus could hardly stand to see him so dull.
The call with Regulus didn't offer them much, since he was only just in law school, so he could hardly be their lawyer (even if he wasn't, Regulus wasn't keen at all about the case, making it clear he would only be interested in family law, and not ‘whatever shit show you're trying to run'.. His words.), in the end, they got a number for someone ‘creditable’ who Regulus thought could help them in the long run if everything went south. After they had hung up Sirius and James both retreated home, Peter stayed another night and Remus could hardly refuse him, he didn't want to be alone very much.
So Remus had quite a bit of time to dwell in his thoughts as they all figured out what they could do, especially since their music was still being produced and hadn't been published yet (‘does that mean we could technically still own it?’) and had realised a few important things.
- he was probably in love with his best mate
- he is going to need some major therapy.
Maybe we should've started with that?
Yeah...
He was fucked.
*
☾♚
(marlene) lupin. floor 5. 1:20. conference room 8c.
(remus) when I said we should speak in code
(remus) i was being sarcastic.
(marlene) lupin.
(marlene) floor 5.
(marlene) 1:20.
(marlene) conference
(marlene) room
(marlene) 8c.
(remus) ok ok
(remus) its official then?
(marlene) call me, ok??
(marlene) we talk like that
(remus) your not a spy you do know that right?
(marlene) remus.
(remus) okok calling.
“So?” he said the moment the phone connected, he had been waiting for days (as had their other friends) to know if Marlene was an official member of P&M Entertainment, the newest agency she had met with and the one Jamie had texted Remus about.
“Well, I’m not out of a job!” Marlene said excitedly, “It's official, my contact with Crouch Entertainment has been terminated. And with the conditions of my new contact, I can actually talk about sexual orientation.”
Remus couldn't help but smile at Marlene's tone of voice, the pure relief that seemed to pour out with every word.
“And soon you might be here too, fuck it's going to be great.”
“Can you imagine the rumours, though? I wonder how people are going to react to the fact that we're ‘breaking up’.”.
He could hear a muffled sigh on the other end as Marlene jumped onto her couch, “It's going to be a shit show.” She didn't sound the least bit concerned, a smile in her voice.
“You're going to be the death of me, you know?” Remus was half paying attention anymore as they pulled up outside of James and Sirius’ apartment, the four of them carpooling to the office building.
“People would pay millions for me to be the death of them, consider yourself lucky.” As Marlene kept talking, he send a quick text to James, letting them know he was there. “Actually that reminds me, you been on Twitter?”
“How the fuck did me dying remind you of Twitter.”
“Your little hiatus stunt seemed a bit like social suicide.”
“Didn't exactly plan that, did I?” He could hear Marlene laughing, “But no, Peter usually looks for us all. He doesn't trust us not to respond.”
“Ironic, Peters a bit of a blabbermouth, trust him to try and be a secret keeper.”
“He does his best, and I don't worry. Haven't pissed him off enough yet for him to go off stabbing us in the back.”
“Back to my point,” Marlene started, “Some of these tweets are actually killing me.. let me find- ah here it is” she dramatically cleared her throat, “‘First the queen and now this shit?’ that ones my personal favourite.”
She kept reading tweets off, but Remus wasn't really listening, I mean how could he over the own insistent beat in his head?
Sirius. Hi. I love you. Sirius.
(Yeah the boys were walking to the car, though that might not be obvious because when is Remus not thinking about Sirius? (seldomly, these days.))
Oh, he was so pretty. Bastard.
Dark eye bags had returned, which Remus noted with a frown. He had worn a smart shirt and black slacks, his hair hung lazily around his shoulders (it was a bit long, Remus needed to remember to ask to cut it but so much had happened he forgot in the time being). He looked tired and gorgeous, and he was absolutely the same Sirius he had always been and that comforted Remus, strangely enough with all these new feelings, Remus felt as though Sirius was the one constant in his life.
James looked a bit better, though Remus knew he had had Lily around and it was so hard not to be happy in her presence. He was dressed similar, the same trousers, but a snug jumper over a button up shirt. His hair had been somewhat tamed, but that never lasted long.
“Hey Marls, send those to me, yeah? I have to go-”
“You didnt hear a single word i said.”
“Yes I did-”
“No I can practically hear you drooling- please dont let me interrupt. Call me after the meeting, let me know how it goes.”
“Promise. Thanks Marls.”
“Yup!”
And that was that.
(and so much more)
*
*
The meeting hadnt gone terrible, but they werent exactly comforted by the end of it either. It seemed either path they took they were fucked. The only upside was that P&M had great fucking lawyers, and much more leniant contracts. They had even met the CEO and Founder, a calm but stern woman named Poppy, she reminded James a bit of his former headmistress.
Strange.
Though James had no time to dwell on it, he had a date.
With Lily fucking Evans.
*
*
(marlene) padfoot!
(sirius) excuse me?
*
*
(remus) oh marlene.
(remus) have you heard?
(remus) we have eloped, because i was cheating on you with lily AND james (seperatly and at the same time) and thats why the band has gone on hiatus. The boys dont approve of our marriage
(remus) also we have a secret love child.
(marlene) really?
(marlene) hm idk how we had a kid in three months
(remus) obviously weve been dating for longer than anyone suspected
(remus) dont you read ritas blog?
(remus) it all comes from a very reputable source.
(marlene) that source is me.
(remus) hm.
(remus) shit gtg phase one has started
(marlene) do i want to know?
*
*
Jamie had called.
Jamie was calling!
Oh fuck, Jamie was calling?!
Remus had lost his breath the second his phone lit up with the new contact photo (a rat, courtesy of Peter.), he had quickly quieted his friends, they had just made their way out of their meeting with Poppy and were in the car. The timing couldn't of been any more perfect.
He took in a long breath, sharing a look with his friends, eyes lingering on a crystal grey pair before he answered.
“Hello?”
“Remus, hello.” Jamie's voice was cheery, just like the first time he had ever spoken to Remus. Instead of the proud feeling he had gotten back then by being recognized by a big-shot manager, he now only felt sick. “It's been a few days, so sorry about that.”
I’m sure you are., “It's fine, really. I just don't understand what's going on?” His friends gestured for him to put the phone on speaker, and he quickly complied. “What the fuck is going on, Jamie? I mean a hiatus? Everyone thinks the bands over.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Peter take out his phone and start recording a video.
“Remus, I know we should've talked to you boys, it was an oversight of ours. We really do apologise, but at the time we did think it would be in the best interest of you boys.” Jamie went on, that sickly sweet tone still ever present, “We did have to consider the possibility of the band splitting, so we made the.. admittedly grave mistake of overstepping.”
“Overstepping? We have an album coming out! Are we even going to make out tour now?” Remus asked.
“Of course, of course. We will have you three ready in no time.”
They all shared a confused look, three ?
What the fuck does he mean by three?
the question was evident on all of their faces, and James nodded his head, motioning Remus to ask.
“..Three?”
“Yes, you, James, and Peter.”
“I’m not following what you're trying to say, Jamie.”
“You haven't been told?”
Remus sent a look to Sirius, who looked just as confused.
“Told what?”
“Sirius is signing a solo contract with us, I’m sorry I assumed you knew.”
James had smacked a hand over Sirius's mouth, who was ready to lash out at Jamie, Remus really wasn't that far behind him.
Well played, but we are not doing this shit anymore.
“Hey Jamie, I don't think that's going to work actually.”
“Listen, it’ll be a change, but everything I do is for-”
“Our best interest, yeah yeah. Same shit you say every time.” Remus rubbed his temples, he knew if he lashed out now the plan would be ruined, but fuck if it didn't take all of his self-control not to.. “Jamie, none of us want to run off, right?”
“I don't know where you're going with this Remus, but tread lightly. I told you all of this as a friend because I respect you.”
Bullshit .
“Yeah, Jamie. Ok, I understand.” he took a breath to collect himself, “how about we come in tomorrow and see the album? You said it’d be done this week?”
“Yes. I know this is hard to hear, but really you're all better off. He would've dragged you down, I’ve tried to help but.. I can't do everything!” He did an annoyingly fake laugh, “I just try to do-”
“What's in our best interest.”
“Right! You were always so smart. We will talk tomorrow, and then we can fix this all. Schedule a public appearance for you three. It’ll be great. The New Marauders.”
“Yeah... We’ll be new alright.”
He was going to kill him.
“Not if I do first.” James had responded, (guess he said that out loud) surprisingly seeing as he wasn't prone to violence, but hey. Once in a blue moon.
After that it was quiet. Peter had stopped recording, and James just… sat there. Anger festering in them all. Sirius wouldn't quite meet their eyes.
“I didn't sign it.” Sirius whispered, “I swear I didn't. I thought about it, but.. I couldn't, I didn't do it.”
His head snapped up, and his eyes were heartbreaking reminiscent of that of a trapped animal, “It's all bullshit what he said, you know that?”
“We know, Padfoot. Of course, we know.” James said comfortingly, a hand landing on his brother's back.
“You’d never do that to us, Sirius. We never doubted you.” Peter tried for a smile, but it was strained.
“It's all bullshit, Moony. I promise.” Remus found his heart lodging itself in his throat at the words, “You believe me right? Because Moony I would never, I love you. All of you, I wouldn't.”
I wish you meant that.
Oh, I do love you.
“Of course, I know Sirius, I can't believe he’s still trying this shit with us.” Remus so badly wanted to reach out and hold his hand, try and offer any semblance of comfort he could. He wanted to rid that look of desperation from Sirius’ eyes, oh how could he ever think Sirius was a traitor? It just isn't possible. “I can't wait until we can actually tell Jamie what we think.”
“The second we sign that contract..” James mumbled, “I don't care if we lose our music- I mean I do but.. fuck I want to be out of this contract. The money doesn't matter anymore.”
“The only downside is we wouldn't have anything, James. No music to play for shows. We will have to start from scratch.” Peter was picking at his nails.
“Well,” James gave them an easy grin, “We better start writing.”.
*
*
(marlene) padfoot!
(sirius) excuse me?
(marlene) what?
(marlene) thats what remus calls you
(marlene) your code names.
(marlene) for pranks?
(marlene) i think
(marlene) i stopped listening half way through, I mean how was i meant to with a name like fucking wormtail
(sirius) marlene
(sirius) are you drunk
(marlene) god i wish
(marlene) but no
(marlene) cant drink during game season, which sucks
(marlene) but not really cause im not a big fan of it
(marlene) ok im rambling
(marlene) lets go out!
(sirius) marlene i thought you were a lesbian
(sirius) also is this like pokemon or something
(sirius) gotta catch them all; marauders edition
(marlene) your funny
(marlene) and you're not very sly
(marlene) your not too fond of me are ya
(sirius) i hardly know you
(marlene) so lets change that
(marlene) because i know lots about you
(sirius) how
(marlene) remus obviously
(sirius) he talks about me?
(marlene) its about all he talks about actually
(marlene) sirius. you know most people respond after 15 mins
(marlene) i mean surely you know he mentioned you
(sirius) well
(sirius) it didnt
(sirius) cross my mind
(marlene) well if you come over
(marlene) ill tell you all about what he says
(marlene) ill even give you a makeover?
(sirius) fine.
(sirius) whats your address?
*
“Wait so are you and Dorcas dating now or-”
Marlene was fun. He hated to admit it. She was fun and made decent jokes and they got on very well and he so badly wanted to hate her and he couldn't. They were both too much alike for him to hate her.
And she really had no problem talking about Remus to him, which was an added plus.
“Look up.” She ordered, an eyeliner pencil in her hand. “I honestly don't know, like- we’re going out but I don't know if we’re girlfriends. Am I meant to ask or is that like too assuming- Sirius stop laughing I’m going to poke your eye out. Maybe not accidentally.”.
“I’m sorry but this is absurd-” he mumbled, as Marlene carefully lines his waterline, “I never thought I would have Marlene McKinnon doing my makeup in her bathroom.”
“Consider yourself lucky. Ugh, you have such nice eyes. Remus won't let me do eyeliner, he only ever lets me do eyeshadow.”
“You’ve done his makeup?”
“Yeah, paparazzi followed us here a few times, so we killed time.” She grinned as she finished, putting the top on the eyeliner and grabing Sirius’ chin to admire her work. “I am a god, maybe I should take Mary’s job I would be great at it.”
“Can you make clothes?”.
“Theoretically yes.”.
“I don't think you can take Mary’s job.”.
Marlene just shrugged, stepping away from the counter Sirius was sitting on, and rummaging through her makeup bag.
“I didn't know you knew Mary.”
“Met her at the shoot, a few months back. Dorcas and her are pretty close so I see her when I go visit on set- oh you should come one day. Its funny, Marys having a bit of a feud.”.
“Oh shit,” a grin spread across his face, “with who?”
“Another Fashion designer, Emme… Emmeline! Vance.” Marlene looked proud of herself, “Quite well known I heard, but I’ve never been into that scene.”
Sirius knew exactly who she was talking about. He had worked with Emme for just as long as Mary, actually he had met them both at the same time. He was only 19, and at that point, Mary and Emmeline were the designers. Basically prodigies, you would never find one without the other- they were emmeandmary. Then one day something changed and they were just.. gone. Not even interacting at Gala's they both attended. Sirius had stayed close with both of them, for he really did love their styles (though he missed their shared looks), but he never really knew what had gone down, and he wasn't just going to ask. He had some manners.
“Wait you think Mary would come over?” Sirius asked, “She's always one for makeovers.”
“Wait- yes! I’ll call her, she can help me curl your hair.”
*
marauders
(padfoot) moony
(padfoot) i hope you arent attached to your fake girlfriend
(padfoot) because im going to kill her.
(moony) now thats harsh.
(moony) what could marlene could've possibly done
(padfoot)
(moony) is that
(padfoot) marlene took my hair.
(padfoot) SHE AND MARY GOt DISTRACTED AND TURNED THE IRON TOO HOT AND MARLENE PULLED IT
(padfoot) NOW IM BALD
(moony) oh dear
(moony) ok we can fix this your not bald.
(padfoot) will you help me bury her body?
(moony) of course, this is an unforgivable crime
(padfoot) she says she’ll kill you first
(moony) she can try.
(moony) come over when you're done with
(moony) im sorry why exactly are you with mary and marlene
(padfoot) bonding
(padfoot) me and mary drinking a bit of wine
(padfoot) we were watching Buzzfeed earlier.
(padfoot) mourning.
(padfoot) so we got wine.
(moony) sometimes I'm shocked your not 40.
(padfoot) thats not a compliment.
(moony) you're so wise.
*
“Please don't make it too short.”
“When have I ever?” Remus mumbled, adjusting the towel he had wrapped around Sirius’ shoulders. It had been a few hours before Sirius returned (without Marlene's body, thankfully) demanding his hair be fixed immediately, and of course, Remus complied, sitting him down in his kitchen. It was eerily reminiscent of their school days.
Remus was feeling a lot of deju-vu lately.
Especially when he felt exactly the same as he had when he was 16 and realised he first had a crush on his friend, though he'd push that down for many years, which was clearly helpful for present Remus.
“It really isn't a lot of hair, it was a bit long anyway. I was going to offer to cut it, I just forgot.” Remus admitted, raising his scissors.
“I was scared you didn't want to anymore,” Sirius said after a few moments lapsed in silence.
“Of course, I’d want to, been doing it since we were kids.” Remus ran his hand through the locks, happy to have the excuse. “You don't let anyone else.”
“Hey, you and I were both there when James cut his, never letting him near my head with a sharp object. And I think Peter would sneeze and accidentally cut my ear off or something.”
Remus chuckled, shaking his head.
“We’re ok, aren't we, Moony?”
…
“Yeah, we’re ok, Padfoot.” Remus stopped his motions, “I’m sorry I was such a dick.”
“It's ok, it was just-” Sirius stopped when Remus moved his head, still cutting his hair, “it was just a shitty situation. I’m not going to blame you. Just don't push me away this time? Let me help?”.
“I’ll try.”
Remus’ hands stopped and Sirius took the opportunity to look at Remus, leaning his head up, looking at him through his lashes. “I do love you, Remus. You know that right?”.
They had said it so many times, and now it felt so heavy.
Remus let himself pretend for a few moments it meant more because to him it did. For a moment he pretended because it might be the only time he can.
Sirius loves you like you love him.
“...I know.” He let his hand go through Sirius’ hair, “I love you too. Now look up, I got to finish this.”
They finished the haircut in relative silence.
*
marauders
(padfoot) i am bald.
(padfoot) i am a new man.
(padfoot) a bald one, but new all the same.
(prongs) moony wouldn't shave your head x
(moony) exactly. He just wants to slander my name.
(padfoot) blasphemy. I am bald. You are just blind.
(wormtail) i worry about you three.
(wormtail) send a photo, padfoot
(wormtail) lets see.
(padfoot)
(wormtail) THATS NOT SHORT SIRIUS
(padfoot) IT IS FOR ME
(prongs) it looks nice!! xxx
(padfoot) THANK YOU PRONGS. xx <3
(wormtail) you need professional help
(padfoot) you need a nap why are you cranky
(wormtail) I DO NOT
(wormtail) actually a nap does sound nice
(womrtail) but im not cranky so never say that again
(wormtail) you make me sound like a four year old.
(padfoot) our little wormyyyy
(wormtail) choke.
(prongs) wormyyy ydont be like that xxx
(prongs) look at our boy
(prongs)
(padfoot) absolutely precious.
(padfoot)
(wormtail) suffocate.
(moony) …
(wormtail) not you too moony
(moony) i mean peter
(moony) your just adorable mate
(moony)
(wormtail) im telling your mothers you're bullying me.
(padfoot) what happened to being a grown man
(padfoot) dont tattle to mum
(wormtail) watch me.
(wormtail) xx
*
(marlene) hey dorcas
(dorcas) hey marls!!
(dorcas) are you coming to the dressing room? emme and mary have had their spat, so i think they are done for now
(marlene) yeah im omw rn
(marlene) i just had a quick question
(dorcas) yeah, whats up? :)
(marlene) so
(marlene) you do know im on your personal twitter right?
(dorcas) hm?
(dorcas) my
(dorcas) @dorcasmeadows?
(dorcas) that one?
(marlene) no love the other one
(dorcas) oh
(dorcas) oh shit.
(marlene) yeah, I can unfollow if you want?
(dorcas) no no i mean no its ok.
(dorcas) i really didnt want to do it like this
(dorcas) but i also dont know if I can wait
(dorcas) can you call me please?
*
*
*
(***-***-231) hey! is this Sirius?
(***-***-231) its alexander, Alice's friend?
sirius is typing...