miscommunication and models

James had almost dropped his phone when he read Sirius’ last text. There had to be a reasonable explanation! They had known Jamie since they were 17, they had met him right before they recorded their first ever album. Jamie had loved them like family, and James had loved him like family.

He trusted him. He trusts him! 

Does he..? Should he trust him after what Sirius said? Sirius would never say anything to hurt him or the band, they had all worked so hard to get where they were, but if what he said is true..

James needed all the facts, he needed to hear that Jamie was not actually trying to tear the band apart, he needed to hear that Sirius was not going to sign the contract. He knew he never would but it would be nice to have some comfort. He quickly fired off a text to Sirius, a simple ‘meet me’ and opened Remus’ contact but there he froze. Should he tell the whole band? Would Sirius? Has Sirius already told them? If this were a mistake James would've had them all panicking for no reason but if it wasn't.. Remus had always been closest to Jamie, surely he should know, but he had been having such a hard time lately…  What is the right thing to do?

For the first time in years, James pocketed his phone, making his choice to keep this to himself. He felt a pang of awful guilt crawling up his spine but he had to talk to his brother first.

(sirius) I'm in the lobby.

James decided that today was not the day the Marauders would go up in flames. He refused. So he grabbed his keys, locked up his flat, and took the lift to the lobby. 

♧

Mary Macdonald had been many things in her short lifetime, a daughter, a sister, a student, a lover, a damn good kisser, and a brilliant fashion designer. 

Just to name a few.

She had always been a creative person, but around age twelve she traded in her crayons for oil pastels and started to really create. She was good too, learning art in many different ways, painting was still a favourite pastime but she knew creating fashion was her life the very first time she designed and made an outfit. It had been for a school event and art contest, and it never specified the art couldn't be worn. In the end, she didn't win, but she had gotten something much greater than a blue ribbon, she got a career.

She was 22 now and had taken the world by storm, working with all kinds of people. She had stepped into this world at 16 and never once looked back, preferring to strut ahead and all but force the world to see her, and those who did appreciate her talent, and it had worked. Mary Macdonald was a name almost everyone knew, most people couldn't decide if they would rather be her or be with her.

Which wouldn't have bothered her, except after a few years the attention shifted less on her clothing and more to her love life or lack thereof.

Which was a little more than infuriating.

She had shaken all of those thoughts away, she hardly needed a partner, she had gotten here on her own accord and the only thing a lover had ever done was ask her to quit her dreams, so no. Mary Macdonald was happily single, and successful. 

Though she was a bit bored at times, which opened up her next dilemma. Vance. 

Vance really wouldn't have been in a dilemma if Mary hadn't walked into the costume department to find her making a mess of the material. Her materials. Mary stood in the doorway, holding up the dresses in her hands so the bottoms wouldn't drag on the floor, and just stared, hoping that if she blinked Vance would disappear and all her shit would be where it was meant to be.

It didn't work. Vance was still there, and still touching her stuff!

This wasn't their first time meeting at all, far from it. They had once been friends, best friends, a long time ago, before Emmeline- no, Vance stabbed her in the back and ran away without even looking behind to say goodbye. They had sparsely worked together since then, well known by those in the industry to keep them apart but someone seemed to miss the memo. Mary had the urge to throw down the dresses in her hands and storm out, but she had some dignity, enough not to show Vance a shred of a reaction. She didn't deserve her energy.

So Mary walked into the room and hung her dresses up opposite Emmeline. This is her, not caring. Not at all. 

She didn’t care.

☾

From the second Remus woke up he knew the day was going to be bad. Before he even opened his eyes he could register the pain shooting up from his leg and hip and the throbbing pain in his temple. 

He felt like shit.

He opened his eyes and immediately regretted it, he had left the drapes open last night and now the room was filled with a bright light that did not help his head. He slung his arm over his eyes but even every small move made the pain in his leg and head worse, he couldn't even get back to sleep.

So he resigned himself to laying in bed until he died of boredom or his head eased off.

☼★

James and Sirius have been sitting in weird silence, it wasn't like them at all. In the past decade they had been family they had only run out of things to talk about once, and to be fair that was after Sirius threw a lamp at James. The first night of boarding school was hard on them all.

Sirius and James had met in the lobby and from there drove aimlessly for a bit, James had tried at first to calm the air that was thick with tension but in the end, it was easier to just be quiet. The aimless driving had eventually led them to a secluded park, there were no other cars parked in the lot and only two people that James could see in the distance. They stayed in the car, James looking around at the scenery and trying to figure out what the right thing to say was, while Sirius held onto the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white.

“What do I do?” Sirius asked so quietly that James thought he imagined it at first until he turned and realised Sirius’ eyes were shining with a layer of unshed tears. “James, what do I do?”.

“Hey, it's all ok. Don't cry.” James was itching to reach a handout and hold his brother, but in the cramped space, he couldn't, “We’re all fine. The band is not ending-”

“Why not?” 

“..What do you mean? It's not ending because we love the band. I mean this is what we’ve all worked for, isn't it?” James couldn't figure out where this all came from, “You don't want it to end, do you?”.

They sat in silence for far too long, and soon enough James could feel tears of his own creep up with the fear that this was ending. Why was this ending? Why was Sirius suddenly through? How does he fix something he didn't even know was broken?

“James..”

“No.” 

“James, it was fun while it lasted.”

“No, where the hell is this coming from? Is this because of Moony? Because you and I both know that everyone just needs a few days to get back to normal and everyone's just a bit stressed. It will fix itself, I can fix it- we’re- we’re not just giving this up over something stupid!” James was talking faster and faster, racking his brain for every way to fix this, he could fix it he always did. “Or did someone say something? Because I’m sure Jamie wasn't thinking, I mean there has to be a logical explanation. Right? Sirius, right?”.

“I don't know James. I- I don't even know.” Sirius sighed, looking at James now, “I would be really surprised if there was another reason. He offered me a solo contract, I don't know how to twist that in a good way.”.

“You're not taking it right?”

“James-”

“I know, but I just have to ask.” James sniffed, “You're not gonna take it?”

Sirius was quiet, it left James with a hollow feeling in his chest, “Would it be so bad if I did?”

“Sirius... Why?”

Sirius shrugged, “Maybe it would be good to have some space, y’know.. to get over this stupid shit.”

“Stupid shit? You mean the fact you’re in love with Moony?”

Sirius turned back to the steering wheel, pulling the loose thread, “Love it a strong word.”

“Well trying to leave the band is a strong action.”

“I’m not.. Maybe just a small break from the band? I can't keep doing this James, I mean.. I’m so tired of looking into every small touch or glance or any of that shit. It's been almost eight years, it's pathetic. I need to get over it.” 

“Or maybe you need to act on it. How the hell do you know what will come out of it if you never try?”

“And then lose my best friend over a crush? Yeah, fat chance.”

“You can't just give up and leave us- leave me- over a crush, Padfoot! That's not fair to anyone.” James was upset now, he was doing everything in his power to grasp at the loose threads of his family and pull them all back together, “That's not fair to you, or me, or Peter, or Remus. You can’t just leave us, everything we worked for… You're not leaving.”

“James it's not your decision.”

☾

Remus woke up late in the afternoon to someone knocking on his door. He hadn't been expecting anyone, and he still felt like shit although his headache had eased off considerably. He sat up from where he was laying in bed, grabbing his phone to see multiple texts, a few from Marlene, one from Lily, and a few from Peter.

Six from Jamie.

Shit.

He clicked the contact and started to read through them, already getting another headache from the artificial light.

(jamie) Have you heard from James? Or Sirius?
(jamie) Tell them to call me.
(jamie) Marlene's manager just called me, know anything about that?
(jamie) Can you come in tomorrow around 6, we need to talk about this situation.

(jamie) I understand being upset about this but remember. Everything I do is to protect you boys, you are young and bound to make mistakes. I just want to help you all.

(jamie) It's for your own good.

Remus was starting to get sick of that phrase. ‘It's for your own good.’ Jamie was always saying, but was it? When had Sirius ever hurt him purposefully? The one time they had a big fight in year 11 wasn't even him trying to hurt Remus. What did Jamie know? Then again, Remus owed this all to Jamie and that had to mean something. He had to be loyal to someone, and he felt himself drifting from his family. He couldn't lose more of himself.

As he stared at the phone another knock came to his door, one more urgent. Bringing him out of the newest stress spiral, he got up leaning heavily on his left leg and made his way to the door.

He opened it and was a bit shocked to see his friend in a bit of a state.

“Are you ok?”

☼★

“So that's just it.. It's over?” James asked. 

The argument (was it even an argument?) had died out, neither boy liked fighting and especially not with each other. They had sat in silence for a few moments, both saying what they needed to say until the words sat in the air and made the air thick with the pain of the truth.

“I’m not saying I’ll sign it, I’m just saying I don't know if this is what I want anymore.”

“I don't understand, I swear I’ll try though. I just.. This has been our plan since we were fourteen, what changed?”

“Absolutely nothing. Maybe that's the problem.”

“I can't believe Jamie asked you to sign a new contract, it doesn't make sense,” James mumbled. Out of everything that was what he struggled the most to comprehend. It just didn't make sense.

“You sure about that?”

“What do you mean?” James looked to his best friend, “Jamies always tried to do what's best for the band, it doesn't make sense for him to try and break it up.”

Sirius just looked at him- well through him it felt more like. As if he was seeing James in a new light, or just seeing James for the first time altogether. 

“What aren't you telling me?” James’ eyebrows furrowed in concern, “Padfoot?” he put a hand on Sirius’ shoulder, “You can tell me anything, y’know? You're my brother.”

Sirius sniffed, wiping under his eyes with his hand, “I know James. Haven't you noticed?”

James just shook his head.

“Jamie always says he cares, that he has our best interest in mind but.. I know that's not the truth. How can fake dating be good for us? How can staying closeted to our fans be the best thing for us? I mean if they are gonna hate us for being gay I don't want their fucking help. Pete doesn't even get to talk much in interviews anymore, and you can't tell me that it's just a coincidence. “ Sirius was looking at James with pleading eyes, “This isn't in our best interest it's in his, and I don't want to do it anymore. If that means quitting music altogether then I guess that's what we’ll- I’ll do.”.

“But.. he's known us for so long.”.

“Doesn't mean he won't fuck us over. Maybe he doesn't do it in obvious ways, but… James thinks about it.”.

And James was, he was thinking about it. He was also losing hope that he could fix everything. Jamie had always been there, making their decisions and up until now James trusted that wholeheartedly, and now he was afraid he just let this random person ruin the friendships in his life. How can he fix this? How does James fix this?

“Your sure?”

“Yes.” Sirius said, and James believed him, “I mean... I think he said something to Moony too.”

“What?”

“The last meeting we had, me and Moony were alone in one of the recording booths, and.. Jamie found us-”

“Woah, Woah, WOAH- Found-”

“Talking, James! Talking.”

“Oh.. Carry on.”

“He sent me off and asked Moony to stay back. He's been avoiding me since, and we.. we had a moment before that- it's not that important but still. Everything was going good and suddenly it's like he doesn't even know me.”

“And you think.. what? This was all set up so you’ll sign the contract?”

“Well I wasn't before but now I am.”

James scrubbed a hand down his face, no matter how much he would've liked them not too, tears began to sting his eyes. Everything was falling down, and apparently, the man he had trusted to protect them was at fault for it. “Fuck.”

The tears fell faster.

♧

Everything was going great for Mary. She had perfect costumes, she was designing more perfect costumes, and the hair/makeup department was great and everyone worked well with her. 

But that nagging little problem was still there.

Emmeline was not leaving. 

No, she was staying like an annoying itch. She hadn't even noticed Mary for ages it felt, wrapped up in fucking with Mary’s organization and putting her own works into the scramble while Mary tactfully ignored her.

I mean Emmelie even walked by her and didn't even glance.

Not that Mary cared, but still.

She could've at least glanced!

She was hoping that by the end of the day Emmeline- Vance (she really had to stop slipping up with her name.) would be grovelling for her approval and forgiveness but it seemed that wouldn't come, Emmeline didn't even look remorseful, she was having a great time! Laughing with people in the canteen and making admittedly good choices with the outfits that complimented Mary’s works perfectly.

She could've at least tried to look miserable. Mary had hoped after what she had done she was just as lonely as Mary had been, and she hurt just as much. That she regretted losing Mary, but it looked like Mary wasn't as special to Vance as she thought because she didn't even care. How could she not care?

Mary couldn't help but wonder that as she walked back to the little space in the costume department she had claimed for herself. She had gone to the canteen for lunch and picked up a salad, but when she saw Vance making herself very known she figured she would better spend her lunch working.

She sat at a rickety wooden table, pulling out her phone and pushing stray fabric away, opening her food tin and getting her phone out to scroll aimlessly until inspiration struck. 

(dorcas) where tf are you??

(mary) hell.

(dorcas) why

(dorcas) wait don't tell me just tell me where you are and then we can talk

(mary) fine I need you to try something on anyway

(dorcas) do you ever not work??

(mary) hush now.

Well at least working with Dorcas was a plus, she had been friends with her for a few months and found she was quite fond of the girl. Dorcas was always there to listen, and she never complained when Mary changed her mind mid-costume change and threw her into a completely different outfit.

“I do hope you know you can't avoid her, you both have a contract here,” Dorcas said as she walked in, Mary smiled as she looked up.

“Think I can get her to quit?”

“You're too obsessed with the idea of getting her to break and talk to you first, don't know how you’d find a way to get her to quit without talking.”

“I could do it..” 

“We need to find you someone new.” Dorcas was running her hand over the stray fabric Mary had pushed away earlier, “A new girlfriend.”. Mary scoffed as she got up from her chair and threw a few items of clothing at Dorcas for her to try on.

“Vance was not my girlfriend! We were best friends.”

“Best friends who kiss.” Dorcas summarized as she pulled the new shirt over her head, it was a bit loose in the waist.

“I told you that in confidence,” Mary said as she looked for a pin.

“You do a lot of things in confidence,” A new voice chimed in, and there she was. Emmeline. Leaning on the door frame, smiling gently with her soft lips that were painted in pink, her eyes twinkling. Mary glared (and she did not linger on her lips, excuse you.), “At least that's what I’ve heard.”.

“Yes, you’ve always had the habit of being a gossip, didn't you?” Mary snarked, nodding at Dorcas to change back into her original shirt.

“What can I say? Even I have flaws.”

“So humble, you are.”

Emmeline just laughed. 

This was going to be the worst job Mary had worked in years.

☼

Sirius drove James right up to the driveway, then left. He wasn't going far, just back to James’ flat for the night but they both agreed they needed to process what they heard and come to a decision alone.

Well.. partially alone.

James didn't exactly know why he chose to come here but he need to tell them, he couldn't let them stay in the dark anymore and In all honesty, he needed a hug from them.

So he knocked at the door and held his breath.

It opened after a wait, the light from inside bathing him in a soft glow. He could already feel their concerned gaze on him. He knew his eyes were red and he had tears staining his skin.

“Are you ok?”

He didn't think he was, but he would be.

☺

Peter was still unsure if this was a good idea, no he knew it wasn't a good idea, but usually, the things he did weren't very good ideas. Why change the tradition? At least he hadn't come up with it, it was Marlene's idea to go straight to the point.

He just hoped he wasn't about to fuck everything up.

He knocked on the door, Marlene was standing a bit out of sight on the other side of the door talking quietly into her phone. Dorcas, Peter assumed.

He knocked again after a while, getting a bit anxious at the long amount of time it took for the door to open. Marlene was raising her eyebrows as if to ask what was taking so long, and Peter just shrugged back.

When the door did open, Peter was greeted with an influx of guilt, and he knew he looked it too.

“Are you ok?”

No, no he wasn't. 

And you aren't going to be either.

☼

“Are you ok?” Lily looked so concerned, her hair was pulled back and she was wrapping a robe around herself, “James, love, come in.”

She gentle wrapped an arm around him and invited him in, and James went instantly comforted by her presence. Despite the height difference she pulled him into her arms and held him as if he was made of glass. 

James had never been so thankful for Lily Evans.

☺

“Are you ok?” Remus asked, he looked worst for wear but his brows were furrowed in concern for his friend, “You look like shit.”

Pete chuckled, though he didn't feel like laughing. “So do you. We really need to talk.”

“What's going on?”

“I think it's easier to talk about inside.”

“Ok.. You're scaring me a bit, Pete.” Remus moved to the side, inviting him in, which Marlene obviously took as her chance to go in first.

“Fucking hell, when did you get here?”

“I’ve been here, you just didn't look to the side, idiot.” She patted him on the back as she walked by, Peter didn't miss the look of sympathy she threw him.

This was going to be a hard conversation.

Please don't let this fuck everything up.

♬