U Fucking Furry
“Dora?? did you test positive??”
“Not on the STD test….”
“What do you mean not on that test?”
“Did you take other ones?”
“Yes.”
“….Which test?”
“Yeah which one?”
“the uhm, I haven’t been feeling the best for a few weeks….”
“And…”
“And I didn’t get my period for a while…
I should’ve taken a test before but I was scared, but I mean we were already at the doctors so why not get the test out of the way, right?”
“Right.”
“Wait what test?”
“Evan I swear.”
“A pregnancy one….”
“wait…..SO YOUR PREGNANT!”
“yeah…”
“Oh nooo, do you think all the drugs you take might hurt it?”
“Are you even going to keep it?”
“ahhh! im going to be its UNCLEE!”
“Oh my lordy lord-“
“Ew never say that again.”
“-I COULD BE ITS DAD!”
“Uhm how?”
“Well you never know what could’ve happened the other night.”
“You stupid fuck, unless you have been sleeping with them for ‘a few weeks’
your not the father Xeno most likely is.”
“EEEEEEE!”
“SHUT UP!”
“Yeah, Xeno is the dad…”
“wait but you broke up with him…”
“shit.”
“I would like to be promoted from uncle to father.”
“Pandora wouldn’t let you of all people become its father.”
“Yup. They would choose me, right?”
“Guys, we don’t even know if they are going to keep it.”
“I think I am.”
“Ok, uhm… hold on”
“We can hear your muffled scream Reg.”
“Yeah, SHUT UP! hehe”
“whatever, but uhm are you going to raise it? by yourself I mean.”
“I’m going to tell Xeno, but I don’t know about the rest.”
“Hey, Dora don’t worry even if he isn’t there we are going to be there for you.”
“Im going to record the exact moment that little head comes out of-“
“Yeah, ok enough of that.”
“Thank you, uhm im going to hang up.”
“Bye Dora,”
“Bye, bye Panda.”
“Bye.”
~~
Reggo:
Sorry I haven’t texted in a few days
btw we all got negative, well kind of.
FaceBook Mom:
wdym kind of??
and don’t worry abt it
not like it's an obligation to text me..
Reggo:
yeah sure.
anyways kind of as in one of my friends got a positive on a pregnancy test.
FaceBook Mom:
oh no?
Reggo:
yeah..
idk
FaceBook Mom:
uhmm so abt the other day
… uhh
idrk what to say😣
Reggo:
yeah
well ig u know what I look like now
FaceBook Mom:
Lol
Reggo:
ew
and how is that funny
do I look funny too you???
FaceBook Mom:
OMG nooo
OFCOURSE NOT
U LOOKED GREAT I SWEARR
Reggo:
yeah ik 🙃
FaceBook Mom:
yeah it was just that you kinda look like my Bestie 🥰👯♀️💕🤞 padfoot
Reggo:
wtf is a padfoot?
FaceBook Mom:
That’s my Bestie’s 🥰👯♀️💕🤞 nickname
Reggo:
Gross
whats yours
FaceBook Mom:
Prongs
Reggo:
LMAO why
ew don’t tell me your like barty with nicknames 🤮
FaceBook Mom:
oooh I thought his name was baurt
Reggo:
😭😭💀💀
YOU DID NOT
FaceBook Mom:
Yeah, you said something abt a baurt the other day
Reggo:
And you didn’t question that
FaceBook Mom:
well you were talking abt ur ex which seemed a bit more important than a weird name.
Reggo:
yeah ig
why is your name Prongs??
FaceBook Mom:
One of my favorite movies is Bambi
and well…
I just released
Reggo:
Ew wtf
FaceBook Mom:
Realized*****
omfg
Reggo:
dyhbffks
anyways continue…
FaceBook Mom:
ok I just REALIZED how weird this story is…
Reggo:
Oh no if you can admit something u did is weird it must be some freaky shit
FaceBook Mom:
I WAS A FURRY COSPLAYING AS BAMBI
BUT IG I GOT I DIFF ONE BC IT CAME WITH ANTLERS AND A DRESS
BUT WHEN I WAS CHANGING INTO IT THE ANTLER GOT STUCK TO THE DRESS
AND PADFOOT SAID “Your Prongs are stuck to the dress,”
anyways that’s how it came to be.
Reggo:
……
FaceBook Mom:
BTW padfoot also cosplayed as that dog from lady and the tramp
and it was also one of those freaky outfits like mine but it came with little paws
with adorable little heart pads so yeah….
-
FaceBook Mom:
im soryyy I should’ve just said I like Bambi
😖
Reggo:
sorry I just hyperventilated from laughing too much
💀💀
FaceBook Mom:
ik you would come back
🥺🥺🥺🥰💕
Reggo;
im abt to block ur ass.
FaceBook Mom:
No you wont
🥰
Reggo:
one day I will
🥱
FaceBook Mom:
Mhmmm
Reggo:
I will I swear
FaceBook Mom:
B-b-b-b-but I thought u l-l-l-loved me d-d—dd-addy
🥺😭😢
Reggo:
yknow what after learning u were an actual furry everything is starting to make sense
FaceBook Mom:
r-r-rr-reall-ly 😥
Reggo:
Yeah stfu u fucking furry.
FaceBook Mom:
HEY no furry shaming
plus yknow what they say…
Reggo:
no I rlly don’t.
FaceBook Mom:
All furries grow up hot.
Reggo:
I’ve never heard of that like, ever.
FaceBook Mom:
well I am AND Paddy is too
Reggo:
ew and how is the other furry hot
FaceBook Mom:
He looks like you.
Reggo:
ytzxz
just gts furry.
🦌
FaceBook Mom:
😍