She stumbled over what on closer inspection looked like a giant rattle, and nearly bumped into a statue of a sleeping dragon.
It scared the living daylights out of her. It looked extremely lifelike and seemed to be true to size.
‘Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus’, she said out loud.
‘Yes, that would certainly be a bad idea’, the statue mumbled, as it half opened one eye.
She jumped backwards with a stifled squeal and landed unceremoniously on her backside and clasped a hand over her mouth in shock.
‘You’re not a statue,’ she stammered.
‘And you are not a goblin,’ he observed.
‘Clearly neither of us have lost the power of observation,’ she said, braver than she felt inside.
The dragon chuckled.
‘Pray, tell me, what is a pretty young thing like you doing skulking through the bowels of this Merlin forsaken place?
Do I detect some mischievous intentions, beyond tickling dragons?
Don’t worry, I couldn’t care if you robbed every vault in this place, but you don’t look as if you know what you are doing and I would hate to see a pretty young thing like yourself ending up in Azkaban.'
Right now she was more concerned that St Mungo’s might be looming in her future. First she was talking to a statue and, unless she was imagining it, the non-statue was now talking to her.
When she failed to answer his question, the dragon straightened himself up a bit more and fully opened his eyes.
‘How rude of me, I should have introduced myself first, before bombarding you with questions.
My name is Alessandro Maximiliano Gustavo Draconiano, pleased to make your acquaintance.
My friends call me Alexander The Great, don’t ask me why?’
‘Your size might have something to do with it’, she thought, but wisely did not say this out loud.
‘I suppose you could be right there’, the dragon said.
‘Shit, you can read minds. Can I call you Alex?’, she said.
‘Not if you value your life, and yes I’m afraid I can probe the minds of most simple beings.’
‘That’s a bit drastic,’ she said, most certainly valuing an extended life expectancy, ‘and a bit rude, considering the fact that this simple being is walking around freely, for now, and your superior neck appears to be chained to the wall.’
Before the dragon could take offence, she held out her hand in the universal gesture of polite greetings.
‘To answer your question, I just reappropriated something of value to me and my name is Mona Annunciata Fidelis Hughes-Smiley,’ using her full name to impress the pale faced dragon, ‘My friends call me Money.’
At this the dragon laughed so hard that the walls trembled and the booming sound echoed through the underground cavern.
‘Well, Money, you are in the right place, seeing as you are in Gringotts bank,’ and he continued to laugh at his own joke.
Money couldn’t help but laugh also.
She had snuck into the bank to retrieve a magical artefact that her nemesis had stolen from her, but she had gotten lost on her way out.
‘I am actually lost,’ she admitted sheepishly to Alex, as she defiantly called him in her mind. This made the dragon roar even louder.
‘Money lost in the bank. Shit, you are cracking me up, Money.’
‘Fine, laugh all you want, but I have half a chance of getting out of here, what are your chances?’
‘Maybe slightly better now that you are here? In fact I put Money on that,’ the dragon grinned and looked hopefully at her, as he tilted his head questioningly.
Money thought for a few minutes, maybe this dragon would be able to help her get out of here. She had been wandering the maze of tunnels for some time now and by all accounts was hopelessly lost.
‘Do you trust me?’ she asked.
‘With a name like that? You could be the root of all evil’, he snorted.
‘But sure, I trust you, what have I to lose? Might as well put my Money where my mouth is,’ he chuckled.
‘And the puns keep on coming,’ she sighed.
‘Ok,’ she said, having made the decision that this dragon might just be her ticket out of here, despite his bad jokes, ‘I am a shapeshifter and I can transform us both into something that could sneak by those goblins undetected, but I need your help to find the way out.’
Alexander the Great, now stretched to his full height, looked down on her, every bit as imposing as his military commander namesake.
‘Or you could just get me out of those chains and climb onto my back and I get us both out of here. It might cause a bit of a stir, and I wouldn’t mind breaking and scorching a few things on our way out, just for the heck of it. After that I can fly us wherever you want to go.’
‘Sounds like a plan’, Money said, warming to this pale-faced dragon. With a snap of her fingers she broke the chains that were tethering the dragon to the bank.
‘Lead the way, Your Greatness,’ she said, as she settled herself on the dragon’s back.
‘With pleasure. Lets take the Money and run’, he giggled before breathing out a blast of fire and making his ascent to freedom.