Sirius felt his eyes welling with tears, his mother had never hit him before. Yes, she had held grips around his arm, hard enough to leave bruises and she had pushed him into his room after a certain behavior in which she disliked. But never before has she outright slapped him like this, straight across the face. His cheek burned, Regulus was standing next to him. The three-year-olds lip was trembling as he held his back straight. Sirius cried, and Walburga straightened up.
“Blacks do not cry! Wipe those filthy tears of your face this second!” She shrieked, Sirius whimpered. Once again she slapped him across the face. Regulus stood still while his brothers stumbled down to the floor with the force of his mothers hand.
“Don’t ever do that again.” She got down in his face, “Or else there will be consequences.” She whispered, before standing back up and ushering the brothers out of the room.
***
Every time Sirius shed as much as a single tear, his mother would punish him. Each time, the punishments got harsher and harsher. Sirius had a need to somewhat express his negative emotions through something other than tears. He could quite manage keeping his face blank like his brother. He found the outlet through laughter. Every time his mother beat him, he would laugh. I’m some way his mother hurt him less then when he used to cry. So he kept doing it, and after some time, found himself almost unable to cry. He would laugh automatically when he felt like actually crying.
***
Sirius’ friends began noticing something was off after while. It was their second year, and Sirius had gotten a nasty letter from his mother, the entire page had been filled with awful insults and disgusting language, coming from his own mother. Sirius had only laughed. His friend looked at him, worried. Sirius’ laughter wasn’t like it usually was. When he was hanging out with the three of them, he would smile and giggle with his eyes scrunched in the corners and happiness glazing his entire being. But in this moment, Sirius’ eyes were wide. He looked almost mental as he cackled loud and obnoxiously.
Sirius clutched at his side and sprang out of his seat. Remus, Peter and James stood up quickly and followed him when he ran. The great hall continued with it’s usual state of constant buzz of a hundred conversations.
“What is wrong, mate?” Peter asked with creased eyebrows. Sirius had somewhat managed to calm down from his fit. But he has still shaking somewhat, as if he desperately trying to keep his laughter down.
“I hate her so much.” He said, his eyes wide. He almost looked fearful.
“Yeah, we get that. But why are you laughing like that, dude? That letter was awful.” James leaned on the wall next to Sirius. He had left the paper in his breakfast plate.
“Yeah, I know.” He looked at them like that had just told him that he was a human and acted like it was new information.
“Then why are you laughing, Sirius?!” Peter exclaimed.
“Why not?” Sirius asked, it want like he would want to burst out in tears in the middle of the god damn great hall.
The other tree looked at him with similar looks, but they were all somewhat indescribable.
***
The prank had gone in an entirely different direction then Sirius ever intended. He only wanted Snape to get out of his face. He was so persistent on what was up with Lupin. It was so sudden too, like he had read Sirius’ mind through the entire conversation.
“What do you want?” Sirius snapped when Snape had stopped him in the empty corridor.
“Answers.” He stated simply. “I want to know what is up with that lupin.” He spat the words like poison in his mouth.
“What about him?” Sirius straightened his back at the mention on his friend.
“Oh, y’know, how he disappears every month.” He said lightly, as if the topic he was bringing up was nothing but the choice of jam on his toast.
“His mother is sick, visited home quite a bit cause of that. Wants to spend the time he has with her.” Sirius defended automatically.
“Every month on the full moon? Huh, peculiar time isn’t it? And he’s always limping around after coming home too.” Snape was really beginning to strike Sirius’ nerves now.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said and attempted to walk away.
“I don’t? Well, I know that I certainly just witnessed Lupin and Madame Pomfrey walk down to the womping willow now just a couple of minutes ago. I suppose I’ve seen you guys there sometimes before as well.”
Shit. If Snape had stopped at the part of where he had seen Remus and Pomfrey go down there, Sirius would have immediately gone to McGonagall. But since the grease blob of a human being had also seen the other three of them, he couldn’t risk it. If Snape told Minnie about seeing them go there then they would mint definitely be questioned for it and soon, they would be busted as underage animagus. They couldn’t risk it.
“You know he hates you, right?” Snape said suddenly.
“What are you talking about?” Sirius asked and rolled his eyes.
“The Lupin boy, he is so sick of you. Honestly, it painful to watch. You, trying to be mates with him what he really just want you to stay away.” Snape continued.
Sirius thought for a moment. He had noticed something being of between him and Remus over the past couple of weeks. Remus had somewhat kept a distance between that and it had been killing Sirius to not know why. Was it this obvious to everybody else too? Did Remus hate him. Snape smirked, as if he knew he had just struck a nerve at Sirius. Like if he knew that Remus was his Achilles heel.
“Yeah, though I bet he’s actually got a family to go to when he’s feeling bad. Unlike you, who don’t even received love from his own mother.” Sirius didn’t quite know had the Slytherin knew about his home situation. The blacks were all for image. And no one would know how horribly they treated their children. So what Snape said this, Sirius stopped.
Sirius felt rage build from the pit of his stomach. “Why don’t you go hit the knot on the tree and see for yourself, hah?” He said arrogantly and pushed past the boy In front of him. What Sirius didn’t see, was that Snape grinned evilly and walked determined towards the school grounds.
Remus woke up and vomited from overwhelming emotions. Snape had gotten into the tunnel. Remus had almost killed him, and it was all Sirius’ fault. Remus didn’t know what to do. Sirius had been taken into a private room when he once again began laughing. The teachers were outraged at his behavior. But Remus knew what layer behind the cackles. Yet, he couldn’t handle looking at Sirius right now.
“I’m so sorry moony. I don’t know what got over me. I was just so angry at Snape-“
Sirius tried to apologize, but Remus cut him of.
“Sirius, I want you to leave.” He said, not looking up.
“What?” Sirius asked hopelessly.
“Please go. I don’t want to see you.”
“Moony..”
“No, Sirius. Seeing you, hearing your voice, makes me really, really sad right now. Leave.”
Sirius breathed, and stood up dimly with a nod before leaving quietly. His entire way back to the dorms, he laughed. He laughed because he was banned from the quidditch team, because his friends all hated him now. Moony hated him, couldn’t even stand to what his voice. He laughed.
***
Sirius came to Godrics hollow on Halloween. He was finally getting to see the potters again. It had been a long couple of months but it was all worth it in the end if it meant that they were safe.
As Sirius turned the corner, he saw the house, blown to pieces. There was a figure standing outside of the gates. Peter.
Another figure approached Peter before Sirius could get any close. They seemed to hold a short and stiff conversation before the other person disappeared in a cloud of black smoke. It was a death eater. Sirius got closer and then he realized. Peter sold them out to Voldemort. Peter had been the secret keeper for the potters after Sirius had asked them to switch it from him. And Peter had sold them out.
Sirius approached Peter fast. “Pettigrew! What have you done?!” He shouted. Peter turned around, startled at the sudden noise.
“Wha, er s-Sirius. What are you doing here?” Peter stuttered.
“You. You did this.” Sirius’ voice shook.
“What? N-no.” Peter took a careful step backwards as Sirius got even closer.
“I’m going to fucking kill you!” Sirius picked up his pace to a full sprint after the blonde man. Peter quickly ran away.
Sirius sent curses flying and gave Peter no time to send any back. The only thing Peter could do was black them. Suddenly their surroundings blew up I a mass of crashing houses and pavement. Sirius vaguely saw Peter shrink before disappearing entirely.
Sirius fell to his knees and laughed. His chest nearly caved at the sobs of laughter that plummeted from the pit of his stomach. This was all his fault, he asked the potters to swap their secret keeper to Peter. It’s his fault that they’re dead.
Aurours began appearing around him. Sirius didn’t really register what happened as he was grabbed harshly by his armpits and hauled to a standing. His hand were cuffed before he had his mind back into business. What was happening?
Sirius Black sold the potters out to The Dark Lord it’s said that he laughed manically while being arrested by aurors. Black was the secret keeper of The boy who lived and his parents’ location. On his attempted escape from the place, he seemed to have also blown up a muggle street and killed Peter Pettigrew as well as six unknowing muggles.