November 14, 2022 - MOA (Sea Side)
It was a chilly November when me and my girlfriend joined her friends for a night out. I was excited, because for the first time, I am finally meeting her friends who she always talked about. Everything was planned out, from our matching outfits, what we will be doing and such. She assured me that I, too, will adore her friends. Little did I know it would be the reason why I gave back her promise ring.
The place was not too crowded, but we were welcomed with loud cheers and warm hugs and beso. I can’t help but smile while looking at her with her friends. We shared greetings and decided to sit at the table they reserved. Most of her friends are with their partners also, which made me more comfortable.Masaya, maingay, magulo, at maraming kwento kung saan mas nakilala ko kung sino ang girlfriend ko kasama mga kaibigan niya.
Someone arrived, she’s with a date at inaya agad siya ng mga kaibigan ng girlfriend ko para maupo. They sat across each other, making it easier for me to notice the quick change of the atmosphere. Someone had to crack a joke para maalis ang awkwardness. Our night started with a few drinks to tell the truth or dare. I knew the truth could hurt, but I didn’t expect that one simple dare could lead me to knowing the truth, making me lose all of my strings of hope in our relationship.
A simple body shot with no malisya was the dare. Do friends do that? Especially in front of their partners? My mind went blank when the bottle landed to my girlfriend, and of course to the girl in front of her. Tumatawa ang iba, may sumisigaw pa nga, but they were both silent. I was hoping she’ll look at me, the way she used to. But the entire night we were there, her ears were all on her friends, and her eyes were fixated on the girl who had just arrived. I felt like I was invisible, but I wasn’t. Nakikita ko mga simpatya at awa ng mga partners ng tropa niya. Someone had to tap my shoulders para lang mabalik ako sa reyalidad na nakaharap na girlfriend ko sa akin.
My mind was happy, akala ko mag hihingi siya pasensya sa asal ng mga kaibigan niya at sasabihing asaran lang, but I was wrong. The look in her eyes was the same whenever she’s asking me for a favor. My heart shattered, para akong nanigas, halo-halong emosyon. I can’t explain if I was mad, betrayed, angry? Hindi ko alam, hindi ko na alam.
I excused myself and went to the bathroom. Nakita ko repleksyon ko sa salamin, I look pathetic, as if I was just invited because I was the girlfriend. I looked at my hands, there it was, the promise ring she gave me 3 years ago during my birthday. Back then, I was the happiest girl when she gave it to me, promising me forever with her with no pain, only love and contentment. Gusto ko magwala, gusto ko sumigaw na bakit ganoon? Did I deserve to be humiliated? Hindi man lang ako ipinagtanggol ng sariling girlfriend ko. Malayo ang restroom sa table namin at may daanan na hindi ako makikita kung lalabas na ako. Kailangan ko huminga, kung hindi sasabog na ako. Walang tawag, ni isang text wala. I never looked back, I just kept on walking hanggang malayo na ako sa lugar na iyon.
I was numb, ni hindi ko pa nagagawang umiyak. Most people would scream or throw things, but I didn’t have the energy to do so. Kinuha ko ang vape sa bag ko, how lucky I was na nadala ko to. It was silent until someone caught my attention sa pag sita niya sakin na the area was not for smoking. She was wearing a red sando, paired with a jorts and sneakers. Her hair was long and it had a hint of red.
“vape din naman hawak mo?” I answered back
“Pero hindi ko hinihipak dito. Mag-isa ka?” tanong niya pabalik
Nilagay ko uli sa bag ang vape, at nag ayos ng sarili, it would be more embarrassing kung pati dito sa tao mukha akong kawawa.
“College student?” tumango ako sakanya, “anong year mo na?” I answered 3rd year
“Hulaan ko course mo, pag tama ako pwede ka mag rant.” kunot noo ko siyang tiningnan and nodded again
“3 chances ha, base lang to sa aura mo”
“Swerte mo naman?”
“Bio?”
“Wrong”
“Philo student ka no?”
“layo naman nyan, at mahina ako sa debate” while rolling my eyes “last chance”
She smiled and para siyang emoji na nag iisip “journalism student?”
I didn't answer her, and just wandered my eyes again, not ready to share what exactly happened a while ago.
“Huy, sagot ka naman. Tama ako no?” pangungulit niya
I got up and walked away, pero makulit pala siya, sumunod pa habang paulit ulit na tinatanong if tama ba siya. I looked at her and tumango na lang and walked again.
“Galing ko no? Bilib ka na ba? College student din ako, 4th year arki. Sakin ka na magpagawa design pag lisensyado na ako ha.” tinarayan ko uli siya na ikinatuwa naman niya
“I have architecture student friends din, mag isa lang ako, aanhin ko madaming bahay?”
“ sus, easy pa rent mo. Income din yun.”
“Kulit mo din no?”
“ You look like you need company e. Do you mind sharing? Mas magaan kapag nailalabas yan.”
That caught me off guard, for me it didn’t sound like she was forcing me to open up. She sounded so concerned that made me cry that I was holding back. For a moment I felt my knees weakening,I felt like a child crying for help, but someone was there to lend a hand.