Stargazer
All eyes see the figure of the wizard
As he climbs to the top of the world
No sound, as he falls instead of rising
Time standing still, there’s blood on the sand
10th June 1976
Surprisingly, Slytherin House had closed ranks without Severus included. He sat at the very end of the table - Evan Rosier leading the crowds of peeved students. Though, their entire issue with the matter was the points loss received once teachers found out the events.
That and the fact that the Head boy had told them to leave the Black siblings alone, not to get in a brawl with one in public.
Rumours of what had happened that day were swirling around Hogwarts. And Severus Snape was now known as the boy that ditched his best friend and was then beaten up by a girl in retribution.
Ara grinned at that description. She had really trounced him.
Since, things had been oddly alright. Her brothers weren’t fighting, her Marauders were pranking, and her Wildflowers were adapting to the new situation. Bit by bit, things seemed to be looking up. Ara was busy enough that she rarely entered the Great Hall; planning mischief and setting up plots and plans for over the summer. Letters exchanged with Andy that promised some time with her goddaughter, and notes from Monty about the new tea blends he’s got for them to try.
And school… well, it was safe to say that Ara was having fun. Less so in her lessons, but definitely after them.
Remus had been oddly insatiable since they’d announced their relationship. Though they were not prone to publicly displaying affection, the same could not be said for behind closed doors. Or, more accurately, in broom closets and empty dorms.
“So beautiful,” Remus muttered, his lips brushing against the crook of her neck, a shiver tripping up her spine. He’d pinned her beneath him in his bunk. Arms that were stronger than they appeared; wrapped around her with fiery intensity.
“I promised Reg I’d go swimming with him!” Ara squealed as Remus began his path of kisses across her neck - burning lips against burning flesh. Her shirt was thrown somewhere past the bunk curtains - skirt pulled up as he pulled her against him. Connecting with a soft moan at the fullness; eyes fluttering as his thumb brushed against her clit.
“I’ll be quick.” He spoke against her skin; hot breath that made her shiver.
“You’re incorrigible.” She moaned. Remus pulled his lips from her skin, just long enough to look her in the eye with golden irises.
“Darling, I don’t know the meaning of the word.” He winked, holding her tighter as her knees buckled slightly.
“Mon lune.” She panted.
“My Ara.” He breathed.
——
This was not how Lily wanted to spend her evening.
The plan had been girls night. Pandora had come over with a bag of ribbons and glittering fabrics with the goal of ornate hairdos for all the girls.
Ara was off doing God knows what (or, rather who), and Marlene was back with Dorcas so she’d barely been in the dorms all week. Alice was off with Frank but at least Pandora wasn’t busy with Xeno. Though the blonde never confirmed that the pair were dating, it was so obvious it was almost ridiculous that she hadn’t. Though Lily supposed Pandora was always rather shy on that kind of thing. A leftover from her time with the Rosiers; her fear of a life like Ara’s with betrothals and engagements.
Anyways, all of the girls should have been there. Were it for for ruddy boys and stupid sex, Lily would be having a lovely night with her friends.
She had figured, ‘screw it’, and elected to have her own spa night with just her Pandora. With a few borrowed face masks and bath product from some older prefects, the plan had been to have a long bath in the Prefects Bathroom in their new bikinis.
But when Alice showed up at the dorms with a sheepish expression, Lily Evans resigned herself to whatever the evening brought. Which was, apparently, the bruised face of her former childhood friend.
His lip had a large red slice to it, crusted over with dark blood - pulled thick by greenish bruises that littered his pasty complexion. A great big shiner on his cheek, a rather aggressive yellowing sheen across his nose and jaw. Like a kicked puppy, he glanced at her with bitter hope as she slid through the entrance of the Gryffindor Tower and pulled it almost shut behind.
“Well?” She raised a brow, crossing her arms over her chest. The brief flicker of his eyes towards the action made her shudder. Had he… oh God, did he always check her out like that?
“I’m sorry.” Severus spluttered, eyes wide and terrified.
“I’m not interested.” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“I’m sorry!”
“Save it.” She grit out, crossing her arms over her chest. “I only came out because Alice told me you were threatening to sleep out here, and Ara will kill you if you’re here when she gets back from wherever she’s wandered off to.”
“I would.” He spoke adamantly; voice warbling and full of raw emotion. “Even with that. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just-”
“Slipped out?” Her voice was emotionless, no pity or sympathy for him to be found.
“Lils-”
“No. You don’t get to call me that, not anymore. I can’t pretend like we’re kids playing behind our houses, we haven’t been for years. You’ve chosen your path, and I picked mine.”
“No, please, I didn’t mean-”
“To call me a Mudblood?” She grit out. “And then, to use the word to describe me again, within your apology?” He winced at that, sensing his wrongdoing. “You call everyone of my birth a Mudblood, Sev. What makes me so different?”
“Please, Lily, it’s hell without you. Even the Slytherins are pissed at me-”
“I don’t care.” She interrupted, pinching her nose with her fingers in frustration. “I don’t care that you feel bad now, I don’t care that you miss me, I don’t care that your House doesn’t like you!” Her hands flew to her side as she grunted with exasperated anger.
“Lily-”
“I spent so much time defending you.” She rounded on him, pointing her finger at him accusingly. “So much time telling my friends that you weren’t a bad person, that you didn’t think those things. So much wasted time believing I could save you. But you’d already made your choice! And in front of everyone, you proved me wrong. In front of my friends, my classmates, their siblings! Everybody at Hogwarts knows exactly how you view me. What kind of fool would I be to welcome you back?” Her eyes blurred, a sob escaping her throat as she turned away from him.
“A kind one.”
“Don’t do that.” She recoiled. “Don’t pretend to care about my kindness. You’ve insulted it so constantly, Sev. Every friend I make, you call a pitying gesture. Every kind act I do, you tell me is unnecessary or pointless. You’ve spent years making me miserable, why would I stay?”
“I never meant it.” He spoke softly, eyes downcast.
“So what? It doesn’t negate it. It solves nothing. You still did it.” She implored. “Years spent letting you degrade me and telling everyone that they just didn’t know you like I did. You made me lie to myself, Severus.” Lily turned away from him, looking back at the barely-open tapestry and spying a shadow in the gap. “Just… leave me alone, alright? If you were ever truly my friend, you’ll do me that courtesy.”
“I understand.” It was quiet; defeated. As she spun to stare at him with incredulity, she found an empty corridor instead. He was gone.
With a deep sigh, the girl pinched her brow. Stretching out her hands to massage her temples before blinking up at the tapestry - brow pinching into a frown as she quickly yanked it open.
Stumbling from where she’d been clearly leant against, was Pandora Ollivander. Sheepishly, she smiled at Lily as she righted herself.
“Oops?” She offered, raising her hands in defeat.
“You’re incorrigible.” Lily rolled her eyes, pulling the other girl’s arm into her own. “But I love you all the same.”
“Better it was I than Ara.” Pandora exhaled in a flutter. “She surely would have come out here and hit him again.”
“His face was rather green from all the bruises.” Lily stifled a laugh, a little guilty that it amused her so.
She let Pandora lead her up to the dorms, trying to shake the pit of disappointment. It had been overdue, really. The great falling out of Lily Evans and Severus Snape. Their paths had diverged years before, and she had been a fool for thinking anything might change. It was, as it always was.
He had never seen her as more than his. Some discovery he’d made in youth, one he believed would be loyal in spite of his cold callousness. Lily had wasted years trying to believe that he might be any different. That Severus could be more than a bitter reflection of his parents; a pathetic little boy so desperate to fit in that he would cast everyone aside to do so.
Lily hadn’t expected him to do so to her. She had been a fool.
Pandora slid open the door to the dorms; two figures sat on Alice’s bed - their heads darting to face the doorway.
“Mary!” Lily breathed with surprise. Somehow, the Hufflepuff had snuck past her and into the dormitories. Mary was dressed in yellow and pink flannel pyjamas with her hair braided into four sections.
“I knew you needed support.” The girl announced, standing and rushing to wrap Lily in her soft arms. At once, she melted into the embrace with a sob.
“I’m so sorry. He wasn’t worth it.” Lily sniffled into Mary’s shoulder.
“We live and we learn, babe.” Mary sighed. “I’m sorry you lost him. I know how important he was to you, when you were kids.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye sooner.”
Mary squeezed Lily’s shoulder, pressing her lips against the girl’s hairline in a gentle kiss.
“He was your best friend.” Mary shrugged as they pulled back.
“No he wasn’t.” Lily admitted, gnawing at her lip. “I think we both knew that he hadn’t been my best friend in years.”
There was nothing more that Mary could add, no reassurances to soothe the ache in Lily’s heart.
She would always wonder if she could have changed the tides. If following along with her childhood friend would lead them further than heartbreak. To something softer; something kinder. But she would always know that bitter truth - lingering behind her heavy swallows and dimmed eyes.
Severus Snape would have turned out the same in any universe. He would never realise his curse, not until it took everything from him.
But maybe this time she’d survive it.
——
“Why a bathroom, of all places?” Ara remarked from her perch upon a faux toilet.
Taking Peter Pettigrew to the Room of Requirement hadn’t really been in Ara’s plans. First, she had wanted to bring her wildflowers. To see Lily’s academic delight and Pandora’s enthusiasm at the beauty of magic. That had been the plan.
But something had shifted in Peter this year. He’d been shifty and quieter than usual; often citing lame excuses out of their planned study times. Simply put, she missed him. She was suspicious, certainly, but she mostly just missed her Pete. Her friend that had always been by her side, always a friend in dour times.
She wanted to be the same, but he hadn’t been letting her.
“I asked for a safe place.” He spoke from where he sat in the tub; knees curled up, tucked within his arms as he did not meet her gaze.
“And that’s a bathroom?” Ara asked, no hint of judgement, finger brushing along the cream-coloured sink. She could never be able to judge, not when her safe place was inside her twin’s mind. It wasn’t exactly common.
The bathroom itself had a clearly muggle design. Soft blues and creams - a wallpaper patterned with stripes and flowers. A little basket of soaps, a mug that held three toothbrushes. A family bathroom, she thought, eyes tracing the small cross-stitch and watercolours that lined the walls and surfaces.
“It’s the bathroom at my house.” Peter elaborated, finally risking a glimpse of Ara. He relaxed at her kind and open smile; his own lips twitching a little upwards as he continued. “When dad used to get rowdy, mum and I would hide in here. She doesn’t have a wand, not anymore, so we’d wait him out until he fell asleep.”
“I used to hide Sirius with Reg in the cupboard under the stairs whenever Wally was on the warpath.” Ara replied, gaze still roaming the decor. “She figured it out and kept locking me inside.” She shrugged.
“He ripped off the lock.” Peter admitted. “Mum could fix it, but his pride wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
“How is your mother?”
“Stressed.” Peter shrugged, loosening his grip on his knees to stretch his legs a little. “Those Muggle doctors that she’s been taking dad to all say the same thing. He’d be lucky to survive more than three years with all the liver damage.” His fingers stretched before clenching into fists against his thighs.
“I’m not really sure what to say in this situation.” Ara confessed, eyes meeting Pete’s as she blushed. “I’m sorry that your mother is stuck dealing with it. I’m sorry that you don’t have better memories.”
Peter shrugged.
“It’s hardly the only thing on my mind.” Upon her curious look, Peter continued. “I… there was an incident with Barty and he said something that… well, I don’t really know what to do with it. It’s not a problem for me, but I think it’ll be one for someone else.”
“Will your intervention help or hinder things?” Ara asked. “Sometimes, it’s best to let things play out.”
That was essentially her motto at this point.
“I’ve been…” he rested his head back against the tub, eyes closing on the impact. “I have this secret, this thing about me that I’ve never said out loud. That I’ve always known makes me different to the rest of the group, to the rest of our friends. Or I thought so, anyways. And it’s one thing for Lily to go out on dates with Em, but if I did what… they’d hate me, wouldn’t they?”
“Petey, my brave boy.” She hopped from her perch to kneel beside the tub, fiddling with strands of Pete’s hair as he hummed contentedly. “I promise you that none of us would judge you. Not ever. Nothing you could do would stop our love for you.”
“But you can say that. It’s easier for you.”
“Because of Lily?” He hummed. “Bullshite. Lily isn’t the one that broke my prejudice, or whatever it is you’re concocting. I’ve never seen anything as different, in the first place. The society that fears it, isn’t ours.”
“What will Sirius think of that?” He raised a bitter brow, something flashing in his eyes that she could not decipher.
“I can safely say that he doesn’t care. He kind of already figured it out.” At Peter’s wince, she quickly tried to reassure him. “He’s a bit queer too, don’t worry. We both are.”
“But you’ve only dated boys.”
“Haven’t met the right girl yet.” She shrugged. “I have a habit of befriending the people I have crushes on, and then being unable to ever tell them that I like them because we’re such good friends.”
“Damn, Ara. That’s brutal.”
“Yup. I’m an idiot.” She laughed. “I had the biggest crush on Pandora in first year, but by second we were the best of pals. I’ve moved past it.”
“So who is it that you’re crushing on now then?” He spun under her fingertips, kneeling in the tub as he faced her with a curious expression. Not one of judgement, but certainly not optimistic.
“Petey!”
“I’m not blind, Ara.” He sighed.
“Mind your business.” The indigo haired girl tried to wretch her hands free, only for Peter to catch them and lower them to rest on the edge of the tub; fingers held by his own.
“As long as you don’t mess about with Remus’s feelings.” Peter warned, before blinking and frowning to himself.
“I’m trying not to.” Ara spoke softly; silver eyes so wide and gentle.
“I know.” He spoke softly, squeezing her hands. “What happens next… it’s not on you.”
“You sound like Pandora.”
Peter offered her a wet smile; eyes caught with unshed tears. Unshared secrets in his fretful eyes.
“Maybe she’s onto something.”
——
14th June 1976
“There was another attack on Diagon. Some poor bookkeeper and his roommate got killed. Apparently their cat escaped.” Sirius let out an incredulous laugh, disbelieving at the way the article was crafted.
“Can’t believe they’d rather report that than the names of those carrying out the attacks.” Lily scowled, snatching the paper to scour it herself. “Oh I remember Sally Holden. She was in Ravenclaw. She helped me find my way around the castle in first year, said us Muggleborns had to look out for each other. When she became Head Girl, she told me she expected to hear about my appointment in a few years time.” She sniffled, leaning into the arm that Ara stuck around her in support.
“And Jason Keefer was wicked.” Sirius smiled sadly. “He helped get me out of detention once.”
“I remember.” Ara mused. “Caught you after curfew with a bag of dung bombs, and told you which corridor to go down to avoid McGonagall and Filch.” She leant into Lily, using her free hand to smooth down the redhead’s flyaways.
The Gryffindor Common Room was surprisingly full, considering the bright weather. Bored fifth and seventh years lounging on the sofas; tiredly waiting out the final days of the school year. Ties were barely tied - loose and flung over half-buttoned shirts. Booze flowed freely; hidden from watchful eyes by lazy charms.
Remus was currently rather flush with cash and alcohol, after he’d dumped the last of his cigarette stock to the stressed seventh years during exams. There was an odd acclaim for the award teen as the older years cheered their illicit salesman. Quiet claps on the back in corridors and nods as people passed by in the Common Room.
Somehow, despite not being the twin involved in the business, some of the credit had fallen onto Sirius Black. That credit came with an odd trail of giggling girls and whispers of the ‘rebel of House Black’.
And it meant that even when discussing dour news articles, Ara’s twin was still distracted by the giggles and waves of gaggles of teenage girls.
“Really?” Ara huffed, raising an unamused brow.
“Duty calls.” Sirius winked, pushing himself from the couch and walking towards the sixth years that had been cooing over at him.
With a roll of her eyes, Ara leant her head on Lily’s shoulder.
“God, I should have never let him know about sex.” She huffed. “He’s like a dog in heat.”
Lily snorted out a giggle at the notion, unable to spy Ara’s mischievous grin from upon her shoulder.
“Oi!”
The two girls turned at a familiar voice; spying familiar black curls attached to the waving teen in the portrait door. Regulus Black was a somewhat familiar sight in the Gryffindor Common Room. Enough so, that even the portrait bid him greeting and welcomed the Hufflepuff inside.
The younger teen was flushed from Quidditch practice; donning grass stained yellow kit as he rushed through the crowds towards his sister.
“Has Crooks invaded your dorms again?” Reg panted, grinning as Lily presented his cat from her perch on the edge of Ara’s loveseat. “Brilliant!” He rushed over, accepting the happy cat from her grasp and holding him close. “Stop running off, Crooksie. I’m as cool as Ara.”
The small cat yowled in a way to suggest he disagreed.
“I can’t believe my cat likes you more than me.” He scowled at his sister.
“Can’t help being cooler than you.” Ara shrugged, a chorus of chuckles erupting from their ginger friend.
Regulus glowered at Lily, accepting his loss as he sat next to his sister; allowing his cat to move back over onto Ara’s lap.
“What’s up, Reg?” Ara laughed.
“Oh, yeah!” Her little brother perked up, shooting her a lovely smile. “Wanna have breakfast with me and the boys tomorrow?”
“If I must.” Ara replied with a teasing grin, ignoring the swirl of nausea the idea sprung forth.
“Brilliant.” He grinned, standing and snatching his grumbling cat. “See you tomorrow. I ought to shower.” With that, her little brother shot her a brilliant grin and spun to flee the Common Room - little (and frankly awkward) nods to occasional Gryffindors as he strode through the red-coated space.
As Ara laughed at the sight of her brother’s both confident and utterly nervous departure, she missed something in the eye of her best friend. A glimmer of something sweet and secret.
And Ara turned back, just in time for Lily to so perfectly hide her crush on the girl’s younger brother.