These Days
I’ve stopped my rambling
I don’t do too much gambling, these days
1st May 1976
Dumbledore would still not meet her gaze.
They’d had half a dozen of these meetings over the year. Silently sitting, opposite each other for an hour, before he bid her good day.
One day, Ara thought she might talk to him. When she was less angry, less outraged at both his inaction and deception. When she wasn’t only dreaming up children stories that she’d learned as a teen. When she wasn’t quite so angry at his tolerance of bystanders and eyes that tried to probe her mind.
That Saturday, he wore an odd plum robe over a smart patterned waistcoat. Sat behind his desk with a book on Soul Magic propped open to read. Every once in a while, glancing above his glasses, just to check if she was ready to speak.
She never was.
Ara would sit, crossed arms, waiting out the hour until he would raise his arm in dismissal. Ignoring the sharp headache that lingered these days as the office lanterns sliced against her eyes. Patient, though utterly bored; mind thrumming as she contemplated a half-dozen things.
First, that in the absence of her dreams of Hermione, she still remembered all the prior ones. Every single memory of dancing and slashing her wand. From winter balls to swaying in a tent. Practicing lifting feathers and fighting for her very life.
Second, whenever she thought of those memories, it left a rather sinking feeling in her gut. A grief she could not really name, only feel in utter misery. Even when she thought of those happiest moments, this melancholy would haunt her smiles.
Could someone live another life, in the future, but remember it in the past? Could someone be reincarnated to an earlier time?
Dumbledore glanced up at her again, so she kept her gaze on the many clocks that lined his walls. There was an ornate cuckoo clock above his head. Made of mahogany and bronze, with doors just like to the Great Hall.
He looked back to his book.
So if she was reincarnated to an earlier time, what was the point in it? To witness the horrors of the future, with hope of mending them? Or to see how James’s kid would face the same childhood as her and Sirius. To know that life did not get better, only so much more crummy with every single year.
Perhaps it was better for it to be just dreams. Merlin, maybe Sirius was right. She ought to stop searching for things she could not understand. And if she refused to speak of it to someone like Dumbledore - even if because, well, she didn’t really trust him - it felt like a sign to stay silent. To let the mystery sit until more clues emerged.
Until that storm cloud that Pandora warned about had passed. Until the sun finally shone through the darkness.
Dumbledore raised his arm in a practiced manner, signalling the door without glancing her way. With a firm nod, Ara slunk from her chair to depart in what amounted to a scamper from the odd office. Not even waiting as the door slammed behind her - the gust as it shut like wind in sails to guide her down the stairs.
One day, she just might say something.
But it wouldn’t be today. She had plans.
——
James Potter had been watching on the map, ready to strike.
When Sirius rather suddenly stepped out of a prank, he had a rather heavy suspicion. Something was afoot. Made clearer by whispers from the girls, halting whenever anyone got too near.
They were plotting something. A prank, likely.
On the other Marauders, well, far likelier.
So James Potter sat in the Gryffindor Common Room, watching as Sirius’s steps drew closer to the tower. The girls were all sequestered in their dorm, even the other of the Black siblings. A piece he was yet to solve.
Before he could do so, however, the door to the Common Room flung open and James promptly hid the spelled parchment as his target finally came through.
Holding some kind of bundle in his jumper-clad arms, was Sirius Black. Looking utterly comfortable - hair pulled back into some kind of braid, legs covered by slouching sweatpants.
The most bizarre part, however, was that his face was slathered in some kind of shimmering goo.
“Sirius? What are you doing?” James gawked at his best friend - gesturing absently at the yellow slime coating his skin.
“Slumber party.” He shrugged comfortably, stepping deeper into the room to plop his tied bundle onto a table. It was part of a table runner, James realised with amusement. “It’s a Wildflower tradition.”
“How’d you get into the dorm?” James continued with utter astonishment.
“Snuck in through the window on Marl’s broom.” He replied with utter ease as he crouched to grab the object in question from below one of the sofas. “And Ara carried Reg on her back.”
“Your brother’s up there too?” He squeaked at the blatant confirmation.
“It’s a Wildflower slumber party. What’s so difficult to understand?” James realised that he was yet to move as Sirius stepped back towards the table, the broom still on the ground.
“The part where they invited you.”
“They also invited all the Hufflepuff girls,” Sirius pointed out with a shrug, though he frowned as he continued, “though they said no. Girl politics.”
“Mental.” James muttered, shaking his head.
“Yeah, yeah.” Sirius waved a dismissive hand. “Whatever. I’ve got the snacks, so I ought to hop back in there.” He saluted his friend as he picked up the bundle. Hand reaching out, Marlene’s broom clicked into his palm and he slid the bundle on the end. “See you later, Prongs.” He saluted, hopping onto the broom and sailing out the open window.
“Can’t I join?” James asked the empty air; voice tinged with loneliness.
——
The girls dormitory was in utter shambles. Dresses and jackets flung everywhere from the morning’s fashion show. Pots of face-masks and skincare from mail-order and older girls. Dyes swirling in pots as they blended together.
The girls were all sat on the floor in familiar piles of blankets and pillows. The turntable brought from the boys dorm to their own, with softly spinning French pop behind their ears.
Ara had her hair piled atop her head with several mismatched hairpins - some from Bella, one from Pandora. Donning borrowed pyjamas with her face coated by a pink clay. Drying slowly with crackles that chipped as she snorted a laugh as Reg applied his own to his like a beard.
The girls had draped her brothers in their own clothes. Reg in one of Marlene’s quidditch jumpers and pink spotted trousers, Sirius donning Lily’s lilac jumper and tan Bermuda shorts. They looked ridiculous in the ill-fitting clothes, but utterly gleeful to be part of the girls.
Ara had raised her brothers well.
Lily was attempting to braid Alice’s short hair. Weaving two strands and frowning as everything fell apart immediately. Both wearing dressing gowns and green masks upon their faces. Pandora between the two groups with her long hair in a thick braid, wearing Ara’s flannel set.
The bathroom door slammed open and Marlene emerged in just a long shirt. Fresh faced, her hair coated white and slicked back - towel around her shoulders
“Where’s Mary?” She immediately questioned, scanning the room.
“We had a row.” Lily admitted with a sigh, giving up on braiding Alice’s bob. “So she went back to her dorms, for a little Hufflepuff night.”
“You’d better sort it soon.” Alice warned kindly, arms crossed over her chest. “She needs all of us, right now.”
“I know. I just… I’m working on it.” Lily twisted her hands in her lap, not meeting their eyes. “I need a bit to get ready, you know?”
“Take your time, Lils.” Pandora reassured her. “It must be so very hard to snip a knot so convoluted and tangled.”
Neptune slinked around their ankles. That familiar black cat Lily had brought a year before, with a little golden bell tied to his neck with red ribbon. As Marlene moved to pet him, he hissed her way and scampered to hide behind the giggling ginger.
“Oh, whatever.” Marlene huffed, folding to sit cross legged beside Ara. “This is kinda itchy.” She remarked, gesturing to her hair.
“You have to sit for at least twenty minutes.” Ara warned Marlene sternly - tossing the instruction sheet for the dye her way.
“But that’s ages!” The girl whined, fidgeting in place.
“You were the one that wanted to copy Ara and dye your hair the muggle way.” Lily shrugged. “Now let us know if your head is burning.”
“It can burn?” Marlene gawked, looking between the two with a shudder.
“It’s a chemical, Marls.” Ara laughed. “Like potion ingredients, if you forget to stir the cauldron.”
“Oh, that makes sense.” She nodded thoughtfully. “I wish you’d taken Muggle Studies with me, Ara. You’re so good at describing Muggle things.”
“Hey!” Lily frowned. “I’m actually a Muggle-born.”
“Yes, but you’re pants at explaining things.” She stuck out her tongue, shuffling closer to Ara.
“Why do you know so much Muggle stuff?” Alice asked Ara, her sweet smile pining the girl to answer.
“I had to pick stuff up if I wanted to get Lily to like me.” She shrugged. “I spent a bit of first year trying to research so we’d have stuff to talk about.”
“You did?” Lily blinked. “You never told me that.”
“Well, you did spend first year trying to convince yourself that you hated me.” Her lips twitched into a little smirk. “It was part of my plot to convince you otherwise.”
“You should have been a Slytherin.” Lily laughed, shaking her head fondly.
“Hat wouldn’t let us.” The twins spoke together.
“I would have made a terrible Slytherin, though.” Ara laughed. “Barty probably would have been the only friend I made.”
“Does he count as a friend?” Alice asked, raising a brow.
“He counts.” Ara nodded, ignoring her twin’s scowl.
“And yet, his path has begun its divergence.” Pandora sighed, looking to Ara with too much knowing. “You must stop with Barty.” Pandora squeezed Ara’s hand; utter pleading in her eyes.
“Alright.” The darker haired girl nodded softly, trying to ignore the incredulous looks around the room. “For you.”
“What am I, then? Chopped liver?” Lily grumbled.
“Oh, come off it, Lils.” Marlene laughed. “We all know that she stopped fighting all the others just for you. But Barty was… well, all of us could tell there was something special there.”
Ara wrinkled her nose.
“We weren’t shagging.”
“I’d hope not.” Alice giggled. “Not when tall, blond and moody’s been looking your way the past few weeks.”
“Oh, hush.” She blurted, eyes darting between her brothers and the girl with warning.
“Enough about who’s shagging who. There are things I don’t wish to know about my siblings” Reg wrinkled his nose, clutching Crookshanks close as he stroked the cat’s head. “I thought we were doing makeovers?” He arched his brow.
Oh, you’ve done it now!” Alice giggled, pouncing on the boy with the pile of hair clips from her failed braids.
After an hour, Regulus was clearly almost regretting those words. Alice and Lily had yanked his growing curls into two low buns; decorated with a dozen clashing clips and pins. They’d smeared a shiny blue shadow across his lids and put glitter across his eyebrows. Though he looked a little silly, his smile shone through his feigned disapproval.
It was nice being part of the girls.
Regulus preened under Lily’s attention as she carded through his hair; gushing about his curls. Crookshanks sat contentedly in his lap, purring intermittently.
Marlene finally washed the bleach from her hair; grinning as she presented the icy blonde to the group. Then, she’d sat before Ara with a large pair of scissors, and told the girl to go wild. Naturally, both Pandora and Lily had chimed in with a “be reasonable!” as Ara had grinned and held the blades aloft. Her eyes were wide as she set about trying to shape Marlene’s long locks.
The girl’s watched on with nerves. Ara’s brothers however, seemed rather non-plussed by the situation.
“She cuts our hair for us.” Reg whispered to Lily and Alice, pulling their eyes from the oddly gentle haircut in the corner. True enough, Ara seemed to be defying expectation. Her cuts were made with precision. Clearly experienced and clearly calm as she lightly snipped layers into Marlene's straight hair. Ara had even transfigured a mirror for Marlene to hold and watch along, the blonde offering little commentary. She seemed happy with the process.
“Really?” Lily whispered, glancing at Reg’s odd sparkly hairdo.
“I think she does a good job.” He spoke a little defensively, spine straightening.
“Oh, she does!” Lily quickly agreed. “I’m just beginning to feel a little guilty for messing up her hard work.”
“I’m sure Marlene will do the same in a week.” He shrugged, much to Lily’s cackling amusement. Ara’s eyes glanced over; catching the emerald green with a grey so bright it was almost silver.
Which wasn’t right. Lily could have sworn Ara’s eyes were a flatter shade, a deeper grey. It had always reminded her of the stone cathedral by her home in Cokeworth.
“What happened to your eyes, Ara?” Lily questioned, narrowing her own in suspicion. “It was like one day they went from grey to silver.”
“We messed up a spell we were testing to fix James’s sight.” Sirius spoke the pre-thought lie.
“Ended up making my eyes all weird, but it did improve my vision.” Ara shrugged, technically not lying. Indeed, turning into Animagus had improved her sight. It had improved it for all of them; James able to wear a lower prescription lens - his vision still blurred but significantly less apparently.
They had little excuses prepared for all of their physical shifts. Peter’s scrunched nose could be explained as one of them accidentally hitting him in the face during a prank and breaking his nose. For James, they planned to claim that he got highlights. And if anyone commented on Sirius’s teeth, he proceeded to tell them that they’d been that way all along and shame the poor bastard for not noticing sooner.
“Huh.” Lily frowned; eyes narrowed as she regarded her with great suspicion. Clearly disbelieving.
“How’d your date with Tommy Vanity go?” Sirius asked Lily with a nervous glint. Still, she let herself be distracted. More so, her face turned bright red and she looked back at Reg’s hair.
“He walked off and didn’t come back on our third date.”
“He what?” Pandora gasped.
“Do you want me to get Frank to talk to him?” The two boys shared a dorm, though why Alice was suggesting she broach the subject…
“Are you dating Clearwater and Longbottom?” Marlene blurted, to which Alice went bright red.
“No!” Clearly a lie, but her frantic look suggested they not press it. “Amelia Bones says she fucked a Marauder!” She pointed to Sirius.
Now it was his turn to go scarlet as his eyes widened in utter terror.
“Padfoot?” Ara’s eyes narrowed as she put down the scissors and turned to properly face her brother.
“I had sex with Amelia Bones!” Sirius blurted, burying his face in his hands.
“You had sex with Amelia Bones?” The girls chorused.
“I had sex with Remus again.” Ara admitted, figuring if there was ever a time for the admission, it was now. Her twin shot upright as all heads in the room spun to look at her.
“You had sex with Remus!” The room gasped, ranging displays of disbelief - some more negative (like Sirius, who seemed horrified, and Regulus, who seemed grossed out), some rather positive (like Marlene and Alice, who were practically grinning, and Lily, who seemed vaguely approving of Remus with Ara). Pandora existed in her own category; of seemingly already knowing and still being disappointed by the news.
“So are you both back together?” Alice asked, the room turning to glare at the girl. She shrunk under the weight of it, smiling nervously.
“We weren’t together before.” Ara shrugged, folding her arms over stomach. “We just figured… if all our friends were dating and we got along so well before… we might as well give us a proper go.”
“That’s the most longwinded ‘yes’ I’ve ever heard.” Sirius laughed, though it sounded a little strained. “It is a yes, right?”
“We fit together.” Ara shrugged, a nervous laugh bubbling from her throat. “And it could work long term. We both don’t want children.”
Sirius scoffed at that but blessedly said nothing. As did Pandora, who merely raised a solitary eyebrow; a reminder of a talk years ago lingering on her tongue. Of summer children and lives shared.
Lily, however, did not hold punches.
“Because you actually don’t want kids, or because your family fucked you up so much that you think you’d do the same if you had your own.” She questioned pointedly, eyes narrowed.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does.” She scoffed. “I like you two together, don’t get me wrong, but I won’t hear you base decisions on stupid insecurities. You’re sixteen. You’ve got time to figure things out.”
“I’m not having kids.”
“Professor Manto disagrees.”
“Divination is a load of codswallop!” Ara let out a huff of laughter.
“Coming from you?” Sirius asked, incredulously.
“Oh, piss off!”
“Why do you keep going back to Remus when the two of you are just destructive together?” He snapped back. Ara blinked, taken a little aback. Since when did he care? “You don’t love him!”
“I’m sixteen, I don’t have to love people! But I like him. And I like being with him.”
“You’re just going back ‘cause it’s comfortable.” He scoffed, folding his arms over his chest. “You’re just afraid to admit you might like-”
“Shut up!” Ara screamed, voice louder than whatever he’d said last. She cast a stinking jinx, the beam hitting his elbow with a yelp.
Growling, Sirius sent one right back - a little too forcefully. His jinx somehow jolted through her spine and out the top of her head - magic crackling through the straightened locks and puffing them to their natural state.
With absolute horror, Ara spun to the mirror. Her scream sounded throughout the tower, the girl running to lock herself in the bathroom as her brothers desperately tried to follow.
In the Common Room below, James Potter was still sat by the fire. Trying to scribble some additional junk for his Divination assignment. The scream jolted through his spine - panic shooting him to stand. He almost ran to the girl’s staircase. Halting only as he realised that he could not get up there.
“Hello?” He yelled up the stairs. “Everything alright up there?”
There was a beat. A pause before a door creaked open and light footfalls sounded on the stairs. As ginger hair came round the corner, James willed himself not to show his disappointment.
“What was the noise?” James huffed, looking up at a clearly amused Lily. Her green eyes were sparkling with mirth, as she clearly held in a giggle at his concern.
“Oh, it’s fine. Ara’s locked herself in the bathroom ‘cause Sirius accidentally brought her curls back.” Lily huffed, blowing her overgrown fringe out of her eyes.
“Er, right.” James nodded, trying to keep eye contact with the redhead - much to her amusement. “What about Sirius?”
“Currently locked in there with her and Regulus, trying to fix it. They won’t let anyone else in.”
“Drat.”
“Sorry, Potter. Maybe find the other two?” She turned to head back into room, before freezing; a wide grin erupting on her face as she spun back to James. “You might want to warn Remus to avoid the dorms.”
“Why’s that?”
“Sirius knows.” She pressed as much meaning as she could into the word; not daring to break the strict code of the Wildflowers not to spill on sleepover gossip.
“What’s taking so long?” Marlene’s huffy voice called from higher up the staircase - her body popping into view as she moved closer.
Her hair was different. It was the first thing he saw. Now a whiter blonde, cut in shaggy layers like Ara’s, though longer and a little more polished.
“Looking good, Marls. I bet a certain Ravenclaw prefect’s head’ll be turned.” James winked; his surrogate cousin rolling her eyes.
“Bite me, James.” Marlene spun on her heels and marched back up to the dorm.
“You aren’t going in on the makeovers?” James asked, eyes roaming Lily’s hair.
For a moment, he could see a different path for himself.
If he hadn’t been so distracted by Ara’s curls, he would have noticed the brightness of Lily’s hair sooner. He would have marvelled at the silky quality of the ginger locks, of the way her freckles matched in hue. If the storm inside Ara’s irises hadn’t captivated him so intensely, he would have spied the emerald of Lily’s.
She was all brightness and springtime.
It made their trio work, he realised. The way each looked a different season.
If Lily was spring - with all its colourful intensity - then Pandora was winter. Same brightness, far bluer and cooler. Like the icy waters of December. Like that thick layer of freeze on the Potter lake, the one he used to skate as a child.
Ara was autumn, of that he was certain.
It had always been his favourite season, after all. Falling leaves and bonfires. The crisp and the changing; decay of nature to bring new life. He supposed that was the variation between Autumn and Spring. Both were sides of a coin; one hopeful, the other a reminder of impermanence.
He liked the hopeful hue to autumn. As everything fell apart, it was certain that it would come together again.
Spring was too forceful with its change. New life and constant blooming; this intensity that overwhelmed him. Nothing lasted, even in rebirth.
“Don’t need to change myself, Potter.” Lily spoke, distracting his thoughts. “Look, we’re good, yeah? Some things are best kept secret, you know?”
“I understand.” He smiled awkwardly. “Though I did tell my boys.”
“James!” Lily shrieked. “Just don’t tell Ara.” She hissed, lowering her voice as she scanned the stragglers in the Common Room.
“Why not?” He asked, raised brows with genuine surprise.
“She just… look, if she finds out I owe her two galleons.” She explained, pinching her brow as though he were draining her with his stupidity. “So tell them to keep quiet!”
Before he could chime in with another comment or question, Ara bounded down the stairs, smiling at Lily as she stalked back upwards.
She looked, well… she looked good.
Skin practically glowing from whatever goop the group had put on their faces. Comfortable, in borrowed striped pyjamas - blues and lilacs. And her hair, that he’d sworn was pin-straight, only hours before, had regained half its curl. Puffing slightly, still sleek, but now holding clear signs of its natural ringlets.
“Your hair’s wavy.” He blurted.
“Unfortunately, this is the best that hair cream your dad sent can do. Effie and Dory promised to take me to get it sorted again in London over summer. They seem excited to see the Muggle part of it.”
“How’d you get through to them so quickly?”
“Poppet likes Sirius enough that she showed up when he called.” She shrugged, huffing her fringe from her eyes. It really needed a trim. “Sorry for the scream.”
“It’s alright. Just a bit alarming.” He laughed, scratching the back of his head.
“Twin shenanigans, you know?” She nodded, smiling brightly his way. “And on that note, I ought to get back before Reggie hexes Sirius bald.” She laughed, waving twinkling fingers before she bounded back up the staircase.
“See you later.” James spoke to the empty space she left behind. With a little chuckle to himself, he turned to his perch by the fire.
Though alone, he felt merry. After all, it would be funny to see what Reg did to Sirius.