Don’t Be Cruel
You know I can be found
Sitting home all alone
If you can’t come around
At least, please, telephone
Don’t be cruel
To a heart that’s true
13th January 1975
Oh God, oh God, she was gonna die.
She knew it.
Just as she knew pain.
Pain was the burning feeling in her chest - the snake of electricity searing around her organs as she coughed blood and prayed to God that Harry might survive.
Harry.
It was all for him. Her Harry, the boy she saw in every dream.
Her eyes blinked open to struggle against the glow of the space - dark walls and dim lighting. Tiles lining the floor below her like ice on her back. It made the burning so much more unbearable.
With all her might, she forced herself to move. Each muscle searing under the effort; her thoughts blank save for agony as she pushed herself to her side to slide out of the room. It was too quiet, too dim.
They’d left her.
She only made it to the doorway before her elbows gave up - limbs spasming as she tried not to bite through her tongue. Somehow, she’d propped herself against the frame; lifted shoulders and head. And all she could think were wishes. These flashes of Hermione that she truly understood - the pain of a sixteen year old girl, facing death by her lonesome.
Her head tilted to the side - just enough vision beyond the blur to spy a doorway.
It was like fireworks. All those flashes of colour, the shouts and bangs and pops and sizzles. Except Harry was screaming.
And it was as though something inside her felt so very cold. Like a squeeze to her heart, as though something severed in two.
The burning had ceased.
“Sirius!”
She looked down at her chest, unsurprised to see her shirt stained red. It was a school shirt, she thought.
She would die in her school uniform.
Except, a thought nudged Ara as the dream engulfed her. This was not how her story ended. This was not the final bow.
There were details beyond - glimpses of fights on Hogwarts grounds and dancing in a tent in the forest. There was more to unfold for Hermione Granger.
And Ara Hermione Black knew that this was not her end. Not yet.
But it was her brother’s.
Ara awoke, gasping for breath as sobs escaped her. Eyes clenched shut, barely able to think as the weight engulfed her.
Her chest was tight, but that was nothing in comparison to the burning gold of the bond in her mind. The pair feeling the nightmare together - clutching at their chests as the pain ceased and only the memories remained.
And finally, the pieces slotted into place.
Because she’d spent years quietly trying to solve this mystery. These dreams of this Muggleborn girl; same face, different eyes and hair.
From the first one she remembered, to finding out her brother knew before she ever had… it had always been an arduous journey. Filled with more unknowing than she could bear.
But now she knew. It was as though something finally clicked into place. An understanding down to her heart and toes. For Ara Black felt too much with each dream. Whether trepidation, terror or triumph; the emotions were buried into her soul.
They weren’t just dreams. Nor did they feel like visions. Instead, they were memories.
Like she’d thought that first morning after, before talk of Seers and visions had clouded her mind.
Memories of a future, one in which one brother never appeared, and the other died while she bled out - only a hallway away. A life she had lived, twenty years after her current one. Too many questions bloomed from that.
One stayed at the forefront of her mind, the worry she dared not to speak or even think too loud.
For if she dreamed of another life of hers, one in the future, surely that meant she would not live to see it as herself. There was a timer on her existence as Ara, she thought. How else could she be that girl without scars?
A phantom pain spread across her sternum; hand lifting to rub it on instinct. Perhaps she was a conduit for this future pain? Perhaps that was her curse. Or, more likely, it was to see and feel useless. To be used and considered as a pawn.
Were it not for her nightmares, she would have likely never taken tea with the Headmaster. Never would have become this mystery for the aging wizard to solve amidst the war and turmoil.
And she never would have seen that glint in his eye.
As though some perfect pawn had slotted into place on the board in a way he had not expected.
And she never would have watched her brother die - twenty years before his time.
——
Sirius hadn’t woken well, that morning. Flashes of his twin’s nightmare; this shaky dread that consumed the pair.
I’ll see you at breakfast, she whispered over the bond - flashing a glimpse of Lily and Marlene by her side.
Alright. He turned in bed; blinking past her vision to spy his own dorm. His friends in the process of their morning routines.
Pulling tangled blankets off his weary limbs, the boy forced himself from bed. Teeth grit as his feet hit the cold floor; hand run through messy curls - catching on knotted strands with a wince.
This wasn’t going to be a good day.
He could sense it like a dog could storms.
That shift, that wrongness to this day. Like a coil of dread in his stomach - twisting deep into his gut.
“Sleep well?” Remus asked with that deadpan sarcasm that only his friends could read.
“Oh, piss off.” he grumbled in reply; a yawn wretched from his lips. “Ara dreamed of my death, again.” He explained as he finished yawning - rubbing a hand over his face and completely missing Remus’s startled look.
“What do you mean, ‘again’?” He squawked, looking between the sleepy Sirius and wide-eyed Pete - the latter in the middle of tying his school tie.
“You do know that Ara dreams of the future sometimes, right?” Pete asked quietly.
“She what?” Remus spluttered.
“I thought you would have figured it out first.” Pete furrowed his brow. “She has all those secret meetings with Dumbledore, and Pandora keeps going on about it. How else did you think she knew you were a werewolf first?”
“Good intuition?”
“Hate to break it to you, Pete,” Sirius ran a hand through his hair - almost amused by the discussion, “but she did figure that one on her own. Not to say she didn’t dream it too, but she did that after.”
“She what?” Remus spluttered.
“I thought I’d told you all already.” Sirius frowned, silently apologising to Ara for letting the secret slip. “I swear I told you.” He muttered to himself.
“Is Ara gonna be pissed?” Pete asked, lips twitching as he eyed Remus’s flabbergasted expression.
“Only the usual amount.” Sirius shrugged. “Besides, I watched myself die last night. I’m allowed to share that. No secrets between Marauders, yeah?”
It was in the chorus of half-hearted agreement, that Sirius finally woke enough to notice the absence of one voice.
James Potter.
There, in the bunk next to his, lay his best mate - watching them silently. Wrapped in his duvet up to his chin; eyes weary and glassy.
“James?” Sirius spoke softly, watching as his friend merely retreated further into himself. With a soft sigh, he stepped closer, crouching by his bedside. “Oh, mate.”
He placed a hand on his friend’s arm, squeeing it softly.
“Do you think he’ll be coming to breakfast?” Pete asked from the doorway - concern knitting his brow.
Sirius looked to his best friend with pained understanding.
“Not today, Pete.” He tucked James in gently, placing a kiss upon the boy’s forehead. “I’ll be back with some food in a bit,” he whispered to his friend in a lively tune despite his trepidation, “and I’m almost certain Ara’ll end up here after Potions. You can shout me on the mirror if you need anything.”
The mirror in question was part of a twin set; gifted to the Potter heir by his parents that past Christmas. Meant for the teens and the Potter family to communicate during stints apart, considering James’s bouts of sorrow and how Ara was prone to sour moods. Though James had snuck the mirror set to the castle; citing its use for pranks.
They were to be returning one half over Easter after a sternly worded letter from James’s mother.
Sirius ended up meeting Ara on the way to Potions; the Wildflowers having spent breakfast with Reg at the Hufflepuff table - the Gryffindor girls joining to surround Ara protectively.
“Sleep well?” He asked dryly, eyebrow raised as his sister blushed at his knowing stare.
“Oh, bite me.” She rolled her eyes, looping her arm with his. “I can’t believe you told them.” She scoffed, tone light with humour.
“I thought they knew!” He retorted, hands raised defensively.
“You’re lucky you’re my favourite.” Ara laughed, head leant on his shoulder for a moment as they entered the classroom.
That day, he sat with Remus behind her and Lily - grinning as Snape entered and grew red at the sight of his ‘best friend’ with her housemates. His eye twitched as he caught sight of Sirius’s smirk, growling as he stalked to sit beside one of the Averys.
The lesson began with Slughorn’s usual pomp and waffling - the potion written on the board as he began to explain the steps - ingredients all scattered along their desks. He waltzed the classroom, inspecting each potion with each new addition and counter-stir.
He spent a while between the Black twins; caught between complimenting Ara and Lily, and tutting at Sirius and Remus for their questionable brew.
“It was awful.” Lily whispered to Ara once Slughorn was out of earshot. The girls hadn’t yet been able to debrief the professor’s Yuletide event; caught in end of term exams then the break itself. “They kept calling me ‘the Muggleborn’.” Her fingers twitched in mock quotation marks.
“Fuck them snooty fuckers.” Ara growled sadly, reaching to squeeze Lily’s arm softly.
Remus and Sirius exchanged a look, both utterly infuriated on their friend’s behalf.
A prank would likely be coming for Slytherin in the coming days, if only because they were the easiest target.
“The potion should now be a pearlescent pink shade,” Slughorn drawled at the front of the classroom, leant back in his plush armchair, “all that’s left is to set to simmer and add the ginger root. Better add once it’s simmering, or you’ll end up with a right mess.” He chucked.
Marlene and Peter peered over their cauldron, exchanging a wide unblinking glance before returning to star at the bubbling black sludge in in the silver pot.
Lily smugly swirled hers and Ara’s potion; the indigo haired girl carving from half a ginger with a hum as she worked. Peter and Marlene would certainly fight for hours over who held responsibility - both refusing to accept that the other had not added the root too soon.
The perfect crime was always one that no one realised had taken place, after all.
A small revenge, for Marlene constantly stealing their Muggle products and clothes - always returning them slightly damaged or stained. And worse, always shrugging that they could fix it with magic.
Peter’s cold shoulder from the awful potion was retribution enough. He would not forgive this transgression and Marlene would likely lose her access to his comics and pens. Which was wonderful for Ara, as a fellow reader of Peter’s comics. Marlene was always snatching them up and taking ages to read them.
Plus, she kept lending them to the Ravenclaw Seeker (who wouldn’t give them back for weeks on end).
It was an excellent way to start the day, thought Sirius, as he nudged Remus to attention. They snickered at their friend’s confusion as their potion started to blister and burn on top.
And then he felt it.
Sirius tended to feel it before she did. Felt the clouding over the bond as her laughter grew a little damper, a little softer.
It was as though he had developed a sixth sense for her silent moods. When she woke up that way, he’d feel her absence and know. But when it built over the day… it was far more difficult to digest. Several times, he’d tried to distract her. Tried to laugh and cheer her up enough to keep her steady.
He’d failed every time.
It was clear as they packed up that Ara simply couldn’t do another thing that day. All her energy expelled on keeping herself together long enough to pull that prank.
And so, she let her twin link arms and drag her back to the Gryffindor tower. Head leant on his shoulder as her mind blurred and sharpened despite the softness of his.
Sirius’s prediction rang true, in the end.
The rest of the day was spent in James’s bed - the trio curled up beneath the sheets. Sirius in the middle, sat upright to keep an eye on the turntable. Ara curled into his left, her mind silent as she let the music wash over her. James on his right, sleeping by his side; hand wrapped around his. A small gesture of comfort.
His free hand under the covers, clutching Ara’s delicately. Two minds crackling, joined by linked fingers and softly sung songs about spacemen and dodgy coppers.
——
14th January 1975
Somehow, and with great effort, Lily Evans had convinced both of the Black twins to actually study.
In the Library.
Like some kind of miracle.
Since September, Lily had been dragging Ara to the Library to make sure she did her ruddy homework. It was annoying enough to have a best friend that didn’t care about her marks, and another entirely to have one that both didn’t care and yet trumped her in every single test.
It was frustrating, to say the least.
And so, she was forcing Ara to bump up her grades properly. Making her do her coursework and answer questions in class.
It was silly to hide how smart she was. That was the sentiment Lily expressed, every time she dragged the girl to study. The hope was that after a while, the other girl may actually believe it.
Disappointingly, however, the girl often came with one of her Marauder counterparts.
Pete was the best of the bunch. He was polite, and got on with it. Sure he asked a lot of questions, but sometimes it was nice to explain things out loud.
Remus was alright, if she ignored that their study sessions often ended with him and Ara sneaking off to some broom closet or alcove. He only tended to do so when they’d mostly finished their work. And he was good at getting Ara to actually hurry up and write her essays, if to sneak off with him after.
Sirius and James were the worst. That much was certain. Neither could sit still for very long, and neither were great at actually studying. They spent half their time finding new prank ideas and writing conspiring notes between each other.
And if Sirius was there, Ara never wanted to study. They’d spend all their time gossiping over the bond, if Lily let them.
Speaking of, Lily snapped her fingers before Ara’s face - the girl’s eyes no longer cloudy as she flinched back to reality with a scowl.
“Stop chatting in secret.” She warned the girl, eyes flicking to her twin who, quite frankly, did not look guilty at all.
“I’m bored, Lils.” Ara lamented, huffing out a breath. “I’ve already done the Transfiguration essay, and that Arithmancy calculation sheet, and the Divination dream journal - which is frankly bullshit, if you ask me.”
“You’re the one that picked it.”
“He made me.” She jerked a thumb her twin’s way.
“It seemed relevant at the time!” He raised his hands, defensively.
“Can’t you change over to Ancient Runes with Remus and me?” Lily asked, a brightness to her voice at her idea.
“Isn’t it too late in the year?” The other girl spoke carefully.
“As long as we promise Professor Elcaro to help you catch up the Autumn term, she’d surely let you into to her class. It’s not at the same time as any of your classes, I know your schedule this term.” She spoke matter-of-factly. “Plus, I’ve already dropped Divination, and I suspect that Matos would be glad to be rid of you.”
“I do make her life hellish.” Ara mused, tapping her chin with a finger before shrugging. “Alright. I’ll do it if someone gives me the Herbology homework. I hate Devil’s Snare, something about it makes me feel sick.” She shuddered.
“So all we have to do to get you to switch is the answers to the Herbology homework?” Remus pulled the parchment from his pile and offered it to Ara, holding the sheet between them teasingly. As Ara tried to grab it, he pulled it back with a wolfish grin; eyes bleeding gold. “I’m not hearing any manners.”
“Thank you, toerag.” Ara rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue out as she snatched the paper from his hand.
“Anything for my favourite lady. It’ll be nice to have you in Ancient Runes.” He winked, helping set up her parchment so she could scribble the homework.
In their bubble of sweetness, they hardly noticed James snap his quill beside them - hands tense and fisted.
With a dart of his eyes to Lily’s knowing stare, he quickly grabbed a new quill and ducked down sheepishly, continuing to jot in his chicken-scratch lettering.
In Lily’s summoning of Ara, she’d managed to attract most of the Marauders; save for the mysteriously vanished Pete. It had taken a while to get Sirius to stop nattering, James to stop encouraging him, but eventually they’d quietened down and cracked open their textbooks.
Remus and Ara returned to their work with blushed cheeks; eyes darting to catch glimpses of the other. Their essays were basically finished, though likely not their best work.
It was hard to focus with that feeling.
Limbs apart, but close enough to feel the other.
His hand brushed her thigh a second time, her knee jerking to bump the table - all heads flicking up to look her way.
“Muscle twitch.” She blushed under their scrutiny. “I think I’ve spent too long sat down.”
“I get what you mean.” Remus nodded, stretching out his neck to hear the satisfying pop. “I might go for a stroll - just to stretch my legs.”
“That sounds lovely.” Ara smiled. “I might just join you on that endeavour.”
“Are we all giving up?” Sirius questioned hopefully; his notes a scattered mess surrounding him.
“Nope.” Lily shook her head at the boy, pulling his focus back to his Charms essay. “You’ve still got at least another foot to write.”
“Lils!” He groaned - slamming his head on the table and resting it there.
“No excuses!” She tutted, distracting him soundly as Remus and Ara hastily packed their things - shooting the ginger a thankful look as they hastily departed.
“Why do they get to leave?” James whined, suspicion in his eyes.
“Because Remus does his homework on time, and no one can tell Ara what to do.” Lily retorted matter-of-factly, returning his gaze to the papers deftly.
“Then why can’t I leave?” He tried again, eyes narrowed.
“Because McGonagall asked me to make sure your next Transfiguration essay is legible.” She replied easily, not even glancing his way.
Crossing his arms over his chest, James let out a huff.
“Whatever you say, Evans.”
“Oh, shut it, toerag.” She huffed. “Don’t make me regret somewhat liking you.”
He perked up a bit at that.
“Didn’t know you’d upgraded your opinion of me.” He smiled, all lopsided and gleeful - the kind of smile that made her own lips tug up slightly as she shook her head.
“You aren’t a total moron, Potter.” Lily sighed. “And you aren’t as big of a toerag as I first thought you were, I’ll admit. If begrudgingly.”
“Cheers.” His grin widened.
“Finish your essay.” She warned, pointed look as she raised her brow and tapped his parchment with her quill.
With a final smile her way, James ducked down his head and resumed his scrawling - trying to ignore the itch to his heart as his eyes kept darting to the doors. In the end, he let himself watch Sirius sleep on the table. His face down on the parchment and arms sprawled above his head.
And he tried to pretend that he didn’t have such a lining of dread in his stomach.
That he hadn’t noticed something he wished he hadn’t.