Letter To Hermione
They say your life is going very well
They say you sparkle like a different girl
But something tells me that you hide
When all the world is warm and tired
You cry a little in the dark
But so do I
28th January 1974
Frankly, Ara Hermione Black had been overdue an outburst.
Her friends had sensed it coming for a while, watching her anger stew and simmer. Each time she looked to her wrist with fury, each time she went to brush her hair away from her face - only to find it’s short length impossible to truly be free of. Those curls had a life of their own; refusing to ever be truly contained in any hairstyle that wasn’t spelled sealed.
So, when the owls swooped down at breakfast and deposited a black envelope on her plate, the Gryffindors that surrounded Ara Black held their breath.
Her spindly fingers gently clutched the paper - turning it to spy the seal with shaking hands. Upon spying it, the girl tensed dramatically.
“Oh, bugger.” She muttered under her breath, frowning as she turned over the envelope in her hands.
“What is it?” Sirius asked after a moment, eyes fixed on his sister with utter concern.
“Father has sent me a letter.” She squeaked, dropping the envelope as though it had burned her.
“What?” Sirius grit, grabbing the discarded envelope with panic. “That’s the wrong seal.” He spoke as he ran a finger over the wax, looking to her with great worry.
“I’m well aware, Sirius.” Ara replied, equally as nervous.
“How’s the seal wrong?” Lily asked from beside her, curiosity trumping her manners.
“He didn’t seal it with his ring.” Ara spoke, very tersely. “I have to go.”
With that, she snatched the letter from her brother’s hands and twisted from the bench. She barely made it two steps away before Sirius was jumping to join her. They left the Great Hall; hands interlocked.
“Bloody hell.” Marlene huffed - all heads bobbing from watching the twins to face the blonde. “Will we ever get a week without a Black family crisis, do you recon?” She scowled, picking at the food on her plate.
“Marlene!” Lily gasped, swatting the girl’s arm with a shake of her head at the bluntness.
“What?” The girl glared back, refusing to apologise.
“I suspect the twins feel the same.” James spoke with an edge to his voice, the group spinning to watch as the boy shook his head at Marlene. “I thought you and Ara were friends?”
“We are!” Marlene huffed, tutting to herself as she narrowed her eyes at Remus.
“Then perhaps you might want to muster some kind of decency or sympathy for her. Since, after all, it is your friend that just received a letter from home without the official seal.” Remus spoke pointedly, sat a little aways; Marlene flushing terribly red and looking at her plate.
“What does that even mean?” Lily groaned, unable to hold back her question any longer.
“It means it isn’t official business. Not as Head of House, at least.” James tried to explain, wincing as he knew he’d fumbled it.
“The letter is entirely personal.” Remus explained, far better than his friend. “There isn’t any House information within it, nor any correspondence to do with her betrothal or role as future lady. And that means it could be about anything at all.”
“I doubt her dad sent her a letter just to ream her out over how she acts.” Lily scoffed, freezing at the serious looks shared by the boys.
She hadn’t been around, really, in first year. And she had missed the consequences of the first Yule at Hogwarts. Of the meeting once held by those three boys about their best friends - trying to figure how to save them.
They hadn’t solved it yet, and nor were they close.
It was simply a horrible mess.
When the Gryffindors that took Divination entered the classroom, they found the Black twins already sat at their usual table. Pandora by Ara’s side; their hands interlocked, matching bracelets touching on opposite wrists.
“We are starting on crystal balls today.” Manto spoke idly, throwing one end of her long scarf over her shoulder.
Ara tuned her out as she tried to focus on the glass on the table - narrowing her eyes as she tried to spy patterns to the mist. Unlike the other’s crystals - hers seemed to have a large crack down the centre. Little breaks pulling off it, shattering through the glass beneath the surface.
It was as though they grew with each passing moment. The glass crumbling in on itself, beneath a pristine layer atop. She would swear she could hear it.
“Miss Black, do you care to share your visions?” Manto spoke beside her ear, startling the girl out of her intent looking.
“I only see cracks.” Ara spoke, tersely. “Are you sure you didn’t drop this ball?”
“I wonder, Miss Black,” Manto tutted, shaking her head ever so slightly at the young witch, “if perhaps it is not the crystal that is cracked, but rather your mind.”
The silence that followed was suffocating. Heavy with magic, as Ara stood from her seat to be closer to their professor’s height.
“And I’m telling you, that you gave me a faulty crystal ball.”
“I had expected more from you, my dear, but it seems that having a nugget of Sight does not necessarily make one suited for this work. Tell me, do you truly dream, or do you only remember?”
“I remember that you said Polly has an uncle when she doesn’t.” Ara crossed her arms over her chest, chin tilted defiantly. “Not exactly a shining example of the mystical arts, yourself.”
“Or, perhaps, you simply do not have the mind to comprehend the unknown.” Manto snapped, Pandora’s outraged gasp sounding in her wake. If there was one thing the girl would not tolerate, it was anyone accusing her best friend of not understanding her and the strings of Fate that tied them, irrevocably. “After all, sometimes people are too logical to truly see the world in all its splendour.”
“You overdramatic, ridiculous bint!” Ara’s chest heaved, eyes fixed on her Divination Professor with a terrifying expression. A glare that none in the room would ever dare to be on the end of.
All chatter silenced.
Hermie, Sirius tried to speak in their mind, calm down.
I’ll show you bloody calm, she growled in their mind - meeting his eyes only for a moment before returning her gaze to their professor. A moment longer and she might have seen his fear. Might have spied the worry at her finally cracking, just a little.
“Get out.” The professor spoke very simply, refusing to meet her eyes. “I shall see you in detention tonight for that. Anyone else wish to insult me or use foul language in this classroom may leave too.”
“Shit!” Pandora squeaked from beside Ara, collecting her books together as her friend finally came back to herself. “May we part? Or do your Fates decree further dramatics?”
“Off you go, Miss Ollivander.” Manto sighed. “I had hoped for better from you.”
“Your Sight must be faulty, then.” Pandora replied, shrugging hers and Ara’s bags over her shoulder. “After all, you do not seem nervous. Good luck with Gringotts.”
Manto’s face paled considerably as she gawked at the blonde girl.
“Get out.” She spoke firmly, gritting her teeth as she finally looked at Ara Black.
“As you wish.” The girl retorted with a cruel smile. All teeth and unkindness. So very odd to see on Ara’s face. “I’m surprised you didn’t See this coming.” She taunted.
Before any further comment could occur, Pandora reached for Ara’s hand and tugged her to the hatch to exit. Their classmates silent in the wake of their spat - their friends silent and gawking as they descended from the room.
Fuck you for staying, Ara growled over the bond as she and Pandora climbed the ladder.
Sirius did not reply, but she had not expected him to. The shame he felt… well, she felt it too.
“What’s going on with Gringotts?” Ara asked Pandora as they shut the trapdoor behind them.
“She’s going to get a letter tonight.” Pandora spoke primly. “For one so dedicated to her craft, she ought not to place so many rubbish bets on the Cannons.”
Ara let out a surprised laugh, sharing a warm smile with her friend.
“What would you like to do with the rest of our afternoon?” Pandora asked, jumping from the ladder and extending a hand for Ara as she reached the ground. “DADA is perhaps not the best idea, Avery is on a bit of a rampage.” She frowned, looking off to the distance, caught in her mind.
Sometimes, Ara wished she could join her friend. Even if her mind was filled with possibilities, filled with knowledge of people she hardly spoke to… there seemed to be a peace in it. A calm to the sea of thoughts and futures that rippled through Pandora.
“Let’s visit Remus.” Ara decided. “Must be boring in the hospital wing.”
“Lets.” Pandora smiled, linking their arms together as they strolled.
It was decidedly not boring in the Hospital Wing that day. Remus and Madame Pomphrey seemed to be caught in a game involving cards and chess pieces - the older woman’s smile growing at the sight of the two girls.
They stayed a while. Chatting through his missed lessons, discussing theories on new magical theory. Ignoring Sirius’s pleas over the bond, pretending that Ara wouldn’t be subject to endless rumours once news of her outburst spread.
In the end, the girls missed dinner. They parted with waves of dismissal at Remus’s apologies to have kept them. Promising that it was far better than anything else they could have done that day.
Ara walked Pandora back to the Ravenclaw Tower, parting with cheek kisses and soft smiles.
“Don’t open it yet.” Pandora whispered in her ear as she hugged her. “It isn’t time.”
“I know.” Ara spoke as they pulled apart, a twisted and sorrowful pull to her lips.
The journey to the Gryffindor Tower was oddly bare of students. The castle halls empty; her footsteps rumbling in her ears.
I’m sorry, Sirius whispered once more, James and I got everyone to look at the ball and it was cracked.
I’m tired, Sirius, Ara sighed, but I forgive you. I just… I need a bit.
There was a moment of silence as she felt his disappointment. And, well, Merlin did she want to soothe it. But not at the expense of herself. She couldn’t do that, not that day.
So when she reached the Common Room, she merely walked straight through it. Unnoticing of her friends’s heads bobbing to look her way. Not seeing their smiles falter as she didn’t spare a glance - a sorrow to her that they could not fix.
Not seeing Sirius look up hopefully, only for his face to fall as she brushed past. James and Peter sat with her twin, offering commiserating pats as she walked up the stairs. Lily, sat alone on an armchair - her book unread in her lap. Caught in her worrying the whole afternoon. Even the Prewett twins - watching from by their friends with identical looks of concern.
If Ara had looked back, she might have noticed.
But she had never been very good at looking back. Too caught in trying to push forwards.
Blessedly, the dorm was empty when she arrived.
A book still on her bed from that morning. A muggle novel that Peter’s mum had sent him, that he’d given Ara as he thought she’d like it more than him. The pages dogeared and creased from the amount of times she’d reread each chapter.
And so, she pulled the letter from her bag and placed it between the pages; snapping the book shut and popping it on the shelf with a notice-me-not charm.
She would not read it today. Probably not for a long time.
Instead, she would get ready for bed. Put on the pyjamas that Euphemia had gifted her that Christmas; red silk with a gold trim. She’d get Lily to braid her hair and say yes when the girl offered to sleep beside her that night. Forgive her twin properly, if only because his utter misery was bleeding into hers. Chat with Lily and Sirius over the bond for a little while, fall asleep to the faintly golden glow and the feel of Lily’s hand in hers.
And she would not think about it for a long time.