The Altar of the Phoenix

Everybody I know seems to know me so well

But they're never going to know that I move like hell

18th December 1971

James Fleamont Potter had always been more perceptive than people believed. 

Though he had his issues with Slytherin, his mother had taught him well. He knew how to spot the tiniest of expressions and behaviours. He knew how to watch carefully and betray no sign of spotting what he had. Only, instead of the mask of indifference, he projected happiness. To be fair, he was a generally happy bloke. Sometimes his mood changed so quickly he forget how he’d felt before, if he’d ever been anything but content, but that was just a Potter family trait. They were good at being cheerful. 

From his mother, he got the Burke ability to notice. She had never been proud of her family, or of her Hogwarts House. It sparked his dislike of Slytherin, knowing how his mother was treated there. She may have been Pureblood, but she was too kind and too honest to be in that House. He still didn’t get why she was sorted there; she was more Hufflepuff than snake!

Euphemia Potter nee Burke had been cast out of the family for marrying a Gryffindor. Even now, she did not speak to her relatives unless visiting her distant cousin’s book shop. Even then, the cousin wouldn’t speak to her beyond giving her total. And James learned that Dark families were bloody awful.

It was a fact he was relearning as he watched his two new friends. 

After his mother had told him to keep an eye, he did. 

He saw the way that Sirius tensed at any questions about his mother or how his brother was doing now he was alone. He noticed how Ara picked at her hands and looked on the verge of tears. He was there when the Howler spat at them, dehumanising his friends. He heard Ara as she came into their dorm at night to sleep next to her brother because the two couldn’t sleep alone - one time he heard them crying as they whispered about their brother, thinking the others were all asleep. And soon one thing was clear to him; he didn’t want them to ever have to go home again. 

But it wasn’t that simple. 

So he said nothing as he packed his trunk, only made the usual jokes and quips. Remus helped Sirius organise his trunk, grumbling as Sirius directed him. 

“Ara does it usually!” He snapped at Remus when the boy asked why he was being incompetent. 

“Then why not ask her this time?”

“Cause she’ll tell me off for packing…” his eyes went wide, as if he had nearly fessed up to something bad. James scanned the contents on the floor, searching for whatever item would cause Ara stress. “Never mind, I’ll just do it.” The boy said quietly, moving to throw things in his trunk. 

Remus shot James a confused look, to which the latter shrugged. Better to pretend not to know. Let the twins say in their own time. 

Because James was fairly certain he had just spotted the item that Ara would tell Sirius off for packing. A Muggle comic book. It was Peter’s, one Sirius was borrowing for the holiday. It should have been a normal thing to have, nothing of great concern beyond ensuring it stays in good nick to be returned. 

Instead, his first friend was carefully hiding it between the leather and interior fabric. 

James wondered, not for the first time, if their mother punished them for liking Muggle things. 

Luckily, Peter ran into the room - face flushed pink from exertion - before anything could get too gloomy. 

“Have you… have…” he gasped out between pants, trying to breathe well enough to talk. 

“What is it, mate?” Remus asked. 

“Have you seen my comic? Ara said she needed it.” The boys all grinned at that.

Of course Peter had run from wherever he was just because Ara said she needed something. It was no secret that Peter believed she hung the moon and was the stars. He had sworn to Sirius that he didn’t have a crush on his sister, and James believed him. Peter was just a really loyal friend, and Ara had happened to become his friend first. 

And, to be fair, Ara was a very good friend. She charmed Peter’s stuffed rabbit to glow at night because he was still a bit afraid of the dark. And, she made sure none of the boys teased him for it. Threatened them, even. Really, it was no wonder that Peter glued himself to her hip. 

“I’m packing it for home.” Sirius spoke, though his eyes looked glassy. He was looking through the twin bond, James figured. He’d seen the look on both twins, and usually before after a twin thing would occur. 

“She said she wanted to show it to Lily before we all left.” Peter clarified, still panting as he held his arms above his head to breathe easier. 

“You alright, mate?” James asked Sirius, the latter boy worrying his lip as he had a silent conversation with his sister. Sirius blinked twice and turned to James with a small smile.

“Yeah, just being reminded of things.” He shrugged, before turning back to Peter. “She doesn’t need it anymore, Lily went off. But she asked if you still wanted her astronomy notes to look over. She’s got them in the common room.” 

Peter beamed at that and ran out again to find Ara. The others only rolled their eyes. 

Once Peter was gone, Sirius slid the comic out of his trunk and placed it back on Peter’s bedside table. 

“Wally would pitch a fit if she saw me with a Muggle book.” Sirius laughed, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “You know, that was why we were late to the station in September? She found a bag of Muggle sweets in my trunk, so we had to repack everything.” He was omitting something, but the boys didn’t  dare comment. This was the most he had opened up about his mother. “Ara doesn’t like to talk about Wally, so I try not to.” He shrugged, done with the conversation. 

James wasn’t, however. As they finished packing and made their way to the train, he thought to himself that he ought to speak to his Auntie Dorea - to get her verdict on the case. 

Once the boys were ready, they made their way to the common room. Peter and Ara were already down there - heads close as Ara explained her notes to the boy. It was bittersweet, James thought, seeing her so relaxed and happy when he knew she wouldn’t be that way for long. 

She looked up to the boys arriving, sensing her twin through their bond - and gave them the most dazzling smile. Honestly, James thought her smile was the most perfect thing; her lips twitching to the left, eyes like glitter. He could have stared for days. 

But he should not be having those thoughts, he scolded himself, blinking away his daze as Remus gave him a raised eyebrow - causing a red flush to form on his cheeks. Damn that boy, he seemed to always know when James’s heart was fluttering at the sight of his best friend. 

“Ready for the train?” Ara asked the boys with a sweet smile, her trunk by her feet. Sirius thrust his trunk in her face - proving he had packed it all by himself. She rolled her eyes lovingly, pushing it back so she could jump from her seat. 

The walk to the train was oddly calm - an eerie sense of tranquility permeating the air; as if placed upon them all. The twins walked with Peter, hands tensely clasped together. Perhaps this odd feeling was coming from them, James wondered. A byproduct of their bond working in overtime. Not physical or even real - more felt through the bonds the twins had formed with their three new friends. 

Whatever it was, it lasted until they were tucked into their compartment. Once they’d shut the door and the train had pulled away from the station, it could be felt splintering. 

The twins sat on one side by themselves, pretending to be doing their own things. Ara had a book open, that she had not turned the page of. Sirius was shuffling through his trunk as if he actually needed to. 

Their eyes were glassy; deep in communication - and then they blinked the threads away. Sirius sat back up, done busying himself, and leant closer to Ara.

“Why couldn’t we stay?” He whined quietly in her ear, the other boys pretending terribly that they weren’t listening in.

“You know why.” She hissed, eyes glancing nervously to the other boys before her eyes went glassy again. Sirius’s matched and soon the two were clearly having a fight through the bond. It ended with Sirius blinking back to normal with a soft sigh and Ara resuming reading her book - with a stony expression seeming out of place on a twelve year old. 

First of the group to turn twelve, in fact. 

They’d discovered the twins birthday a fortnight after the actual date, the two shrugging at the shock from the others that they hadn’t told them the date.

“Why would we?” Ara had asked, utterly baffled. “It’s not as if it’s important.”

A little prodding from the boys and they had discovered that the twins had never had a birthday before; their parents apparently didn’t believe in them. When they’d learned about birthday presents and parties… it had been genuinely heartbreaking to watch them try and understand it all. After a bit, James had moved the conversation to a different topic, sensing they’d needed some time to themselves to rationalise the new information.

Later, he’d made Remus and Peter swear that next year, they were going to spoil their friends rotten. 

He watched as Ara bit her lip, pulling at the strands of her hair to braid them as Sirius took her book and read out loud. It was something James found himself doing more and more, watching her when she wasn’t looking. At first, he told himself it was because he was worried. Which, to be fair, wasn’t exactly a lie. But when he began watching her more than Sirius, he began to accept there was an additional element to it. 

She was beautiful to behold. 

Her eyes were like gravestones. It was the grey of the deathly, the colour of stone. But there was more to it - like a depth of smoke that would drag him in if I looked too long. So much so that he’d been trying not to since they’d first met. 

He couldn’t have a crush on Sirius’s sister, on his friend that helped him with his homework and made sure he wasn’t caught in lessons when he was misbehaving. 

She was Ara. She was a storm in a coffee cup. She was the flickers at the top of a bonfire, almost deadly and so beautiful. 

Oh Merlin! He had a crush on Ara Black. 

But that was all it was. Just a crush. 

It would go away, right?

——

By the time the train pulled into the station, the tension radiating off the twins clung to the air; making it thick with nerves. All three of their accompanying friends thought individually about taking them to their house for break, or asking something about their home - but did nothing. After all, they were only children. They had no idea how to handle this. 

The twins, meanwhile, had already grabbed their trunks and made their way onto the platform. James spied the station, spotting his parents with Dorea. Which was… odd. Well, odd if he ignored that they were all watching a man stood stiff on the outskirts, his grey eyes unreadable. 

The twins stiffened beside him and he turned to see them glance at each other with panic. 

It was Orion Black. 

And if their father was there, it meant Walburga was so outraged that she couldn’t handle seeing them in public. After all, you can’t get away with casting curses on your children in public. 

“I’ll see you after Christmas.” Ara smiled weakly, feeling Sirius take her hand and squeeze it. I can’t do this, she whispered through the bond. Help. 

“Alright, time to piss off I recon.” Sirius smirked to the boys, pretending he didn’t see the concern in their eyes. “We’ll meet you on the train. See you in a few weeks!” With that, he spun and Ara hurriedly walked off with him in the direction of their father. 

Behind them, their three friends watched on with fear and worry. They had never seen Ara look scared before. 

The twins missed their looks, however, too busy rushing to their father and silently praying that they would survive this break. 

Orion Black looked at them with no expression - merely holding an arm out for them both to clutch. Without warning, he Apparated them back to Grimmauld. They barely managed to gulp down bile as the spinning ceased and they were deposited roughly in their sitting room. 

He left, and in his wake Walburga Black entered with bloodlust glittering in her eyes. 

The tirade they received from their mother was worse than any they’d received before. She ranted at them until saliva spat with every word, eyes red and skin blotchy from rage. She called them every single insult in her mind, some so cruel that all they could do was stand together, hand in hand as they tried to let the words roll over them. 

It seemed settle, that is until a wicked gleam began to sparkle in their mother’s eyes. Had they known this holiday was to be the return of her old and dear favourite - the Cruciatus curse - they wouldn’t have returned. At least, Ara would have made sure Sirius never came back. 

She hadn’t used it since they were eight, since they’d returned home from their summer with their cousins. Aurors had gotten involved and Walburga had deemed it too risky. Skin stripping curses and stinging hexes were not out of commission, however. Those didn’t show up on wand checks, didn’t mean the Black family had to pay a hefty ‘donation’. 

Sirius had rarely faced the Unforgivable curse, and after the first strike of the spell, he was on the floor - half-conscious. 

Ara rushed to defend him - standing between her mother and brother as her twin had done for her so many years ago. 

“Enough.” She ground out, the word harsh on her tongue as she forced her eyes to meet Walburga’s. The woman stiffened only slightly. “He has never been the curse of this family.” 

It took four round to send Ara to her knees, four castings for Walburga to begin to sweat - her ornate hairdo plastered to the top of her head, flyaways growing as she let her madness shine. To her credit, the younger girl simply endured it. After all, her mother had done worse. 

Sirius felt the stinging across the bond, drifting between consciousness as he let the pain be conduit through him - every strike growing sharper and duller all at once. He managed to blink back into consciousness in time for his sister to fall against him, her arms clutching at him to check he was alright. He promised her that he was, noting that she didn’t promise it back like usual. 

Silently, he linked their hands and the two looked up as one to their slowly calming mother. 

“There will be no letters from the Mudbloods and blood-traitors you associate with. There will be no visiting places to sully our family name with your awful attitudes!” Wally snapped, face getting redder and redder. She was too worn out to cast now; her words her last line of defence. “You will not tarnish our House with your disgusting ideas!”

“Yes Mother.” Ara spoke softly, flinching as Walburga moved her hand to wave the fire on. 

“Do not give me a reason to send another Howler.” The twins winced at the idea, prompting an awful laugh from their mother. “It may be louder than House Black usually moves, but it is effective deterrence for your traitor housemates. I have heard of you befriending two half-breeds! Which is why, I will tolerate no more embarrassment. If so, I will pull you from Hogwarts and send you to Durmstrag. They teach wizards properly there.” She sneered, looking behind them with a jolt. 

“Go to your rooms.” They spun slowly to find their normally mute father stood behind them, his expression blank and deadly. “Do not expect to leave tonight.” 

They hurried wordlessly, dragging their aching bodies through to their bedroom (a room that their parents called “Sirius’s room”) and pulling themselves onto the bed to check each other over.

Are you alright? Her first cast is always her strongest, Ara placed her hands on the sides of her brother’s face, checking him for twitches. She’d been feeling shaky since the first crucio, fearing his pain leeching over the bond. As he rested his hands against hers and looked into her eyes with knowing - she realised that she was the one twitching. I guess Wally had a lot pent up this past term, huh? She joked weakly, though her brother gave a little laugh in response. 

I’m so sorry, Hermie. His eyes bore into hers - a desperation she saw only when their mother hurt her. He was begging her to forgive him. 

Silly boy, she smiled fondly, no true words needed to let him know that she placed no blame on him. He could feel it in his soul, this pure form of love the twins shared. They would not ever blame the other for the awfulness that could be their life. After all, they were two sides of the same galleon; two halves born together, trying to make the other whole. Always and forever, Siri. 

Promise. 

21st December 1971

It took three days for him to convince Mother to allow him to see his siblings. Despite being her favourite, it took a lot of grovelling and telling her that he would always be by her side for her to finally bend. 

In the end, she only bid him permission to see his sister after Father suggested it might get her to speak. 

They wouldn’t elaborate, but seeing Ara; he understood. 

Mother had separated the twins into different bedrooms. Put wards on their doors to block them entry into each other’s space. Even if they had forgotten about him, he still couldn’t tolerate seeing them apart, the glimpse he got of Sirius was pitiful - his older brother lying on the floor of the twins’s room alone, staring up at the ceiling blankly. He snuck him some pastries and the boy didn’t even look up, instead continuing to stare at nothing.  

When he finally laid eyes on his sister, he could have laughed at the twins similarities. She sat by the window, looking blankly at the street below. Regulus thought to himself that she looked like one of the portraits in the guest sitting room; frozen in a moment of melancholy beauty. It was haunting.

“Ara?” He spoke, wincing as the door shut behind him and her head shot to view him. 

For a single second, Regulus regretted his decision - believing his sister to be about to resume her indifference.

He didn’t except her face to break out into a wide smile - her body moving from its immobile perch to swim the distance and wrap her baby brother in her arms. He melted into her, squeezing his arms around her in disbelief that she was there and she was hugging him. 

She held his face in her hands, scanning him for any signs of hurt or issue. When finished with her inspection, a look of utter relief crossed her features. And, simply put, it broke him. Regulus felt the tears brimming in his eyes and let them stumble down his face as he inhaled the familiar smells of flowers and sweetness. His sister always smelled like flowers. 

“Why didn’t you write me?” Reggie sobbed into her arms. It was like the final string holding her up snapped and she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face. Reggie fell with her, scrambling to hold her up as she cried and cried. “Ara?” He whispered, frightened. 

“I wrote you every day.” She managed to get out; words broken by sobs. “I sent you drawings my friend Petey did and I made you little maps so you’d know the school better than any other first years next year.” 

She wiped tears from her eyes and looked to her baby brother, placing a hand on his cheek. He leant into it; he always did. The first words she had spoken in days were a promise that she hadn’t forgotten him. And he believed her entirely. 

“You did?” He sniffed, eyes wide with hope and misery. She nodded, stroking his cheek with her thumb. 

“Of course I did, Reggie.” Ara offered him a soft smile and pulled him back into her arms. “You think I’d forget about my favourite brother?” she whispered in his ear, prompting a little giggle. Reggie had always been her favourite brother and Sirius had always been her favourite twin. “I thought about you every single day. Every letter I sent, I begged for a reply because I just wanted to hear about you.” She pulled back, holding his hands in hers. 

“Really?” 

“I promise. Most days, all I want is to hear about you. I want to know what you’ve read, what you think about it, what Kreacher says to you that makes you laugh, what you think is your favourite part of dinner.” She sniffled out a giggle. “You are my favourite person ever.” She promised him, moving a hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks. 

“I can ask Kreacher to hand deliver letters to you.” Reggie spoke after a moment, his voice soft and raw. “And you can call on him to bring your letters to me.” 

“What if he tells Mother?”

“He won’t.” Regulus shook his head. “Not if I tell him not to. He didn’t tell Mother about you and Sirius sneaking to that Muggle park once I asked him not to.”

Ara nodded, before grasping her brother again and moving him over to her bed, wrapping him in quilts and humming a soft tune as she brushed through his hair with her fingers. 

“Tell me about it.”

So, he did.

He told her about their mother’s tirades, about how she would make him agree that the twins were evil and how he was sick of it. He spoke of their father shoving expectations onto him simply because he was the most like him. He talked about being stuck behind and wishing to be a Gryffindor like them. Or, rather, just not a Slytherin. 

“I wanted to be a Ravenclaw.” She whispered to him, prompting a look of disbelief. 

“Really?” He breathed.

“Uh huh.” She smiled, moving his head to resume running her fingers through his hair. “I thought that I could make smart friends and figure out how to stop this world being so awful - change laws and fix our broken government.”

He thought on that for a while. Even as he continued to talk about how Mother had forced him into interacting with the Carrow twins, and how she was clearly planning something nefarious - how he had spent so many days walking up to the twins’s room and then left to be alone. How he missed his big sister so much it hurt. 

The entire time, her hands never ceased their gentle petting. Until, as he ran out of things to say, she placed her chin on the top of his head - and let out a soft exhale. 

“I’ve missed you.” She spoke the words like they were so certain, and Regulus felt the childish jealousy and disappointment finally fade. She hadn’t forgotten him. Neither had Sirius - though the boy had been too sad to say hello, which Reggie understood (after all, Ara was his favourite too). 

He spun his legs around carefully, and placed his hands in Ara’s. 

“Promise me that we won’t be like Mother wants. Promise me that no matter what, we’ll always be brother and sister.” He looked to her with burning eyes, too young for his worried face.

Regulus had always been something of a contradiction. Sometimes he looked too aged for his years; like Ara had seemed in her youth. Other times, he would look at the world like it was so new it was painful. He was no Seer, no reincarnation. He was something entirely strange and singular. 

And as sure as Ara knew that no force could pull her twin bond apart; she knew that she would never let her little brother be alone. 

“I promise.”