Illicit Affairs

Marlene McKinnon POV: Part Six

the day before: Lily’s party

“Drink, Meadowes?” Marlene asks, holding up a bottle, whilst throwing another person a drink. Dorcas shakes her head, grabbing drinks to help Marlene. Surprisingly. And she didn’t know why, but she was furious that Dorcas was being nice to her. Who the hell did she think she was?”

“No thanks,” she tells Marlene. “After the last time I drank, I don’t really want to ever again.”

“Understandable,” Marlene shrugs one shoulder. She glances towards Mary and Lily, who seem to have been closer than ever. It was only a week ago when Marlene realised they’d both told each other. They acted like they weren’t together; she knew them both far too long to know it was an act. “Is it because you kissed me?” She whispered.

“It was the other way around, McKinnon, and you know it,” She says, and noticing there was no one to give a drink to, puts them back on the table. She turns her body towards Marlene. 

“You still did kiss me back,” Marlene smirked. 

“Oh, you find that assuming, do you?” Dorcas nods, glaring at her. 

“Most definitely.”

“Are you forgetting that you were so desperate that you kissed me first?” Dorcas folds her arms over her chest, leaning onto the table beside her. She looks at Marlene in a way that she’s never had anyone look at her before. She tilts her head, noticing she left Marlene speechless. “Yes, I think you did forget.”

“Yeah, but who said I was desperate, Meadowes? Who said that I kissed you because I was desperate, and not because I didn’t want to?” 

“What?”

“Nothing,” Marlene says, again, leaning forward onto the table, as she takes her seat. “Hey! Not my brother!” She glances towards Mary, and Lily, who were standing near the door, along with the boys. Remus rolls his eyes, but listens to her. 

“Except you kissed your brother’s best friend,” Dorcas muttered. 

“Yeah, and?”

“A bit hypocritical.”

“You can talk, Meadowes, but you know what we should talk about?” Marlene rests one leg on the other. “We should talk about how I continue to hold the title of the better one out of the two of us?“ 

“Or should we talk about how a few weeks of being a total suck up has caused you to think you’re better?” Dorcas says, resting her chin on her hand. And little did Dorcas know that never in a million years will Marlene ever think she was better than her; she never has. “Spoiler, McKinnon, that’s not true.”

Marlene nodded, gazing at Dorcas. She watched as she stared into the distance, observing the people in the room, and as she, herself, observed Dorcas. 

“Left you speechless, did I?” 

“You sounded so daft, I couldn’t properly process what you were saying,” Marlene leaned back, her eyes locked on Dorcas. Again. She found herself doing this way too often. No amount of drinking could ever cause her to be more drunk than Dorcas’ smirk. 

“Or maybe you’re so daft that you can’t handle when people sound too clever.”

“It’s sad how incorrect you are.”

“Hmm, it’s sad for you that it's so true,” she pouts as a joke. “And you’ll see that on Sunday, and I can’t wait to see your face.”

“Awe, you’re excited about seeing me, that looks unnatural on you, maybe you should stop smiling, grinning, smirking, whatever this is. All I know is that this looks unnatural.”

She was lying. She would replay it over and over for centuries, knowing she was the reason that Dorcas was smiling. 

“Show me now,” Marlene says. 

“What?” Dorcas gapes at her,

“Let’s go down to the Quidditch pitch now, so I can destroy you,” Marlene stands up, hands on her hips, looking down at Dorcas smugly. Dorcas sits up in the chair, straighter, as if she was truly considering it. 

“You play beater, though,” she says. 

“Great observation, Meadowes, but I can play chaser… Maybe even better than you.”

“In your dreams, McKinnon,” Dorcas stands up now, only a few centimetres from Marlene. Close enough that she could kiss her, and she would if there weren’t so many people around who would crucify her for it. “Let’s go, then.”

Marlene and Dorcas played Quidditch that night. And they kept on playing, and playing, and playing until somebody won. Which actually didn’t happen. They’d extend the time over and over, and end up with the same amount of points to the point they both gave in when they noticed the sun rising. She was surprised her body hadn’t given in sooner, or gotten tired until six in the morning. 

They never ended up getting bored of each other, which seems as if they’d make really good friends. But Marlene didn’t want to be just her friend, and she was sure she wouldn’t be able to handle it the way Mary and Lily managed it. 

It was Sunday at that point; Saturday flew by. Which wasn’t really surprising. She was asleep half of the day, because of Dorcas. Getting up early on Sunday, her eyes stung, as she rested her arm on the table, her fingers against her eyelids. 

Reginald sat beside Marlene, only becoming friends with him when he became friends with Mary in their third year; they bonded over… Marlene didn’t really know what they bonded over, or how they became friends. Mary was annoyingly focused on perfection, whilst Reginald showed up to classes forgetting stuff, which was quite funny because he got prefect. 

“Hello Marlene,” he says. She nods back, eating a mouth full of cereal. “Is your brother playing today?

“Probably,” she mumbled, a hand over her mouth. “If today’s not any different than usual.”

“Oh yeah right,” he laughed, looking down at his feet. “That makes sense.”

“What? Are you friends with him or something?”

“Erm, I’m not really sure if he likes me too much,” he shrugs. “He doesn’t like talking to me.”

“Oh yes, and Dane is the type who likes talking to everyone,” she says sarcastically, almost laughing at the thought of it. 

“Really?” He leans forward, upset. 

“No!” She throws her hand up, a hint of amusement in her voice. Messing with people’s mind; that’s why sarcasm is the best. “Nah, since we were younger, he’s always been antisocial, that’s how he and Meadowes became friends. By being the only six year olds who could actually shut up.”

“Oh, that’s pretty funny actually,” Reginald laughs, snorting.

“Yeah, very amusing,” she cringes, resting her chin on her hand. “I didn’t know you were so fond of him.”

“He’s—nah—that’s a bit—a bit,” he stood up, chuckling a bit. He cleared his throat. “Er—yeah… Ok.”

He rushes off, quickly replaced by Mary and Lily, who both sit across from her. Mary was whispering something to Lily, who was giggling at whatever it was. Though, all Mary was doing was grinning, and admiring Lily as she did so. Marlene laughed at the two of them, shaking her head. 

“What?” Mary snapped her head into Marlene’s direction, glaring at her. “Something funny?”

“Yes, it’s like watching a romance movie, I feel lonely,” Marlene mumbled, though she was beyond happy for them. The way they looked at each other, taking almost any chance they got; it was everything. It was something Marlene wanted.  

“Just kiss Dorcas again,” Mary shrugged. 

“Oh yes,” Lily nodded, turning back to Marlene after staring at Mary. “She asked about you every single time she saw me yesterday, like oh is Dorcas still in bed, such a lightweight.”

“Yes, as your parents, we’re telling you you should totally kiss her again, she will one hundred percent want you to,” Mary states, flicking her hair behind her ear. Lily smiles, looking as if she wanted to kiss her. Marlene shakes her head.

“Who’s the dad?”

“Mary,” Lily pointed, bringing a piece of toast up to her mouth. She waves at Reginald from across the room. “I’m the mum apparently, taking care of Sirius and Remus is not fun.”

“I can confirm,” Mary shook her head, frowning. “They will rip away your innocence, and absolutely destroy your self esteem, especially Sirius Black.”

“Merlin,” Marlene cringes. “What happened?”

“Nothing much really, I just like being dramatic,” Mary lifts one of her shoulders, dropping it again. Lily giggled. Again. It was painful to watch, but at least it was mutual between the both of them. 

“McKinnon, remember we need to go to the game soon, pick out their weaknesses…” James sits beside her, and Lily and Mary go back to whispering to each other. Sirius and Remus sit on opposites of the table, their eyes not meeting once. 

“Watching Regulus,” she whispers to him, so no one else was able to hear. James leaned over to nudge her softly. She smiled at him. “Pandora, Dorcas and Dane are the chasers, so on your behalf, it’s important to watch them to make sure you know who to mark, and when to mark them. Regulus is the seeker, I know his moves. I know where to hit the bludger.”

“Ok, but don’t hurt him,” James turned his entire body, resting his leg up on the chair. He says this quietly, so no one else would hear about it. And she knows how he feels. 

“I won't, James, I’m supposedly the best beater in the school, I can control how hard I hit it, and make sure nobody gets severely hurt, but we may want to talk about Sirius and the things he needs to improve on.”

“Do not insult my Sirius,” he gasps, throwing his hands up. Sirius snaps his head over, and Marlene rolls her eyes. She loved them. A lot. They were her best friends, but sometimes she was unable to handle it. She got tired sometimes, and Sirius and James never seemed to mature. She rolled her eyes, getting up from the table. She gave them the middle finger, a sarcastic smile on her face. 

But as soon as they’re out of sight, she stops smiling. She stares at her feet, watching to make sure she doesn’t step on a crack. She got bored when walking. It was so plain. Making it into an activity gave her some sort of comfort that was unexplainable, really. Maybe it was the fact that in every single situation, there was always something to make it better.

She glanced around, seeing everyone with face paint, or scarves and other pieces of clothing to represent their team. 

There was something so special about Hogwarts when a quidditch game was held. The way they all turned into a united front, picking a team, but enjoying watching too much to argue with each other. They were the intense fans of quidditch, who’d watch these school games as if their lives were devoted to it. And there were the people who bet on the games. The last group of people were the players, and the watchers.

The watchers are the ones who like the players, but don’t like quidditch. They force themselves to go to the game, but really don't know what is going on. Either they’re good friends with a player, more than friends, or hate the idea of being the only person inside. They have an overwhelming need to fit in with everybody else, and despise standing out. 

Marlene supposed that was her in some way. But it was especially Lily. After years of being friends with her, it wasn’t difficult to pick up on.

Xenophilius always shows up for Pandora, ready to cheer her on, despite her playing against his own house today; Marlene spotted him with Slytherin face paint. He watches, but you can tell simply by the way he watches that he doesn’t know the rules. Or even likes quidditch. He just likes her. A lot. Friend or more. 

And the title of the players speaks for itself. They play. 

She takes a seat, up the front, only a few of the Slytherins taking the seats up at the back. They were those annoying kids who were loud, and pissed everybody off. Snape sat with them, but he wasn’t one of them. But Marlene knew he was like them. He said his own comments, though he said them quietly because he didn’t have the guts to say it aloud like the others. 

She hated the loud ones, and the quiet ones all the same. She especially hated Mulciber over the other ones; he was horrible, and a creep. And what he did to Mary. Lucky he never got too close to Marlene, because she’d commit a crime if he got close enough. 

She hears a whistle. A catcall. She puts her middle finger up, looking down at her notebook. She hopes they get humbled during this game, although she would love to see Dorcas win. The smug look on her face, and the way she will glance at Marlene more often. Marlene can never wait for that especially. 

“Hiya,” James says, sitting beside her. 

“Where’s your clone?” 

He was so used to everybody referring to Sirius as his clone that he didn’t even bother to correct them. 

“He’s up in the castle. You looked pissed off, so I left him with Remus. Are you ok?” He says, putting his feet up on the railing, and leaning back. 

“I’m fine,” she shakes her head. But she’s not sure if she means it. She has no reason to feel upset, but she feels it, and she can’t stop. “I just—I feel sick, ok?”

“Yeah, ok,” he nods. “I don’t buy that bullshit. You feel upset, and you don’t need to tell me the reason, just know I’m here, and I know exactly where you’re coming from.”

“Yeah, I know, James,” she sighs, though she did so gratefully. “I just feel—down… for no reason.”

“That’s normal,” he tells her, leaning forward. “Sometimes that happens, and it’s ok. You deserve to feel better.”

“I think watching the game will make me feel better,” she says, breathing out. And if she’s not sure of anything, she’s sure of this. Watching Dorcas score goals, watching Dorcas smile smugly, watching Dorcas in general, this will cheer her up. 

“Watching Dorcas will make you feel better,” he murmured. 

She smiles, fiddling with the rings around the fingers, reminding her of the time she proposed when they were younger; Dorcas told her she’d rather jump in front of the Hogwarts Express than ever get married to her, and Snape called her a poof. And she was so happy that Dorcas even acknowledged her to pay attention to either of those things. 

“Yeah,” she whispers. “It will—watching Regulus will make you feel better.”

“I’m not upset, but watching him do anything makes me feel better about anything.”

She frowns. 

“James Potter, the fucking romantic,” Marlene shakes her head. And she loves him for it. The way he would jump on a table, bowing at whoever and give them flowers. He kissed everybody on the lips if he was overly happy. He was even her first kiss because they won a quidditch game. Which will never be said aloud. “Too bad I don’t like men.”

He chuckles, “y’know, you’re the only person I actually feel like talking about it, too. Not even Sirius, or Remus, who I know will not judge, not Mary. I haven’t even admitted to anybody that I’m not interested in girls, but to you, it just feels ok, you know?”

“Yeah, James, I know, because I feel the same way about you.”

“That’s good,” he smiles. 

Mary, Lily, Remus and Sirius show up a few minutes later, and Sirius quickly takes the seat next to James, putting his feet on the one beside him to ensure Mary and Lily don’t take it. Remus grins at him. But awkwardly. So awkwardly that Marlene felt even embarrassed to watch it.

“Hello everybody,” Reginald comes, and takes the seat in between Marlene and James. “I don’t usually come to quidditch games, but here I am, and I am not sitting alone.”

“Yeah,” Lily scoffed. “A quidditch game is not somewhere you want to be alone, also sitting between Potter and Marlene during a quidditch game is the worst decision you’ll ever make. Remus did, and got a black eye by the end.”

“I can confirm,” Remus leans over, finding Reginald. Sirius starts laughing. Like really laughing. As if Remus had made a really funny joke. They all stare at him. 

“That’s funny, Moony, you’re so funny,” he pats his thigh, leaning forward, continuing to cackle shamelessly. It was quite entertaining actually. 

“Why do you call him Moony?” Reginald asks.

“Because he has a scar on his thigh that looks like a moon,” Sirius says, immediately. So quickly it seemed as if he was trying to prove something. Prove something to Remus. Prove something like he knows Remus better to the rest of them. “Fun fact, he actually does.”

“Ok, Sirius,” Remus doesn’t look at him.

“Do you really?” Mary asks. 

“Yeah, can we stop talking about the scars on my thighs? Not exactly something I’m bragging about,” he says, looking out onto the pitch. 

“Sorry,” Sirius sinks.

“It’s fine, lov—Sirius.” 

“Oh,” he smiles, biting his lip to try and hide it. “Ok.”

“Erm, James,” Reginald says.

“Yeah?”

“Do you know if Dane is playing today?” He asks. James smiles. Marlene looks at the boys, her eyes shifting and altering between the both of them. Benjy is coming up from behind them, collapsing into a seat beside Remus, angrily. “What’s wrong with you, Fenwick?”

“Who are you?” He snaps. 

“Jesus, Benjy,” Remus chuckles. 

“Nothing!” He throws his arms up. 

“Hey nothing!” Mulciber, and Avery say immediately. As if they’d come up with a groundbreaking joke. 

“Oh, shut up, will you?” Marlene shouts, taking the opportunity to go sit with him and Remus—it was always a good time with Remus and Benjy. Best duo to hang out with if she had to be fully honest. They weren’t a couple, and they never made her feel left out, or lonely. 

“Why are you looking at me?” Benjy mumbled.

“Because you’re clearly in a mood,” Remus laughs, looking him up and down. He glances at Marlene, shaking his head. 

“What happened?” She asks, one arm resting on the chair, and her body facing Benjy. 

“All the girls obsessing over Crouch,” he points behind him, an entire group of girls with numbers on their shirts, as if they were wearing the jersey of him. Some wore three, which was Barty’s number, and another girl wore six, which is Dane’s. Reginald also instantly looked thrown off, Marlene noticed. “And he winks at them, why does he wink at them? Does he want them? Why would he have me if he wants them?”

“It’s ok, Benjy,” Remus tries to reassure him. Sirius sits on the edge of his seat, listening to Remus. “Yeah, some boys like to flirt with people to play with their feelings, I know how that is. He’d be with me in secret, and he’d make these big gestures for me, but he would still wink to girls, he would still act like… like he wanted them instead. But Barty is different. He really likes you.”

“Yeah, but what if that guy really liked you, Remus?” Sirius asks. 

“It’s over now, I can’t speak about things from the past.”

Sirius looks away, his eyes flying down to his feet. He wants to cry. It’s like all these fears he once had that he’d officially lost Remus had been confirmed. And for once, Marlene sided with Sirius. Which was very sad for her. 

“Wait, so you mean that if he does this, it’ll be over and I’m just wasting my time?” Benjy sighs, running his hands through his hair leaning forward. 

“No, Benjy, you are not,” Sirius tells him. “Some people need time to be able to express love properly. It’s not easy when you’ve never experienced a lot of it, or you’ve experienced a false idea of what love is, and now you’re trying to figure it out, just like what Barty has been through.”

“That makes sense,” Remus frowns. 

“James’ words actually, he can be clever.”

James tilts his head in agreement. 

“Oh look! They’re coming now!” Reginald points down. “Now James, can you explain the rules to me? Because this is my first time watching quidditch.”

“Oi, poofs, you’re getting in the way of the game!” Mulciber calls out, turning around to his friends to laugh as if he’d made some extremely clever joke.

“Shut up, Mulciber!” Marlene calls out. “Being a huge dick doesn’t make yours grow.”

James and Sirius’ hands flew to their mouths, both breaking out with laughter.

“McKinnon!” Sirius wheezes, covering his entire face with his hands. She shrugs her shoulders; so immature they were.

“Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen!” Evan shouts into the microphone, always unnecessarily loud. She can hear Peter sigh. “To another match of quidditch, where today, Ravenclaw and Slytherin will verse each other in attempts to earn more points as we head closer to the end of term, and every team wants to be in the finals. Personally, I think the Slytherin team is looking very strong on their behalf, Peter, would you like to introduce who’s playing in this game?”

Those two make a perfect team.

“Yes thank you, Evan, On the Slytherin line up, we have Pandora Lestrange, Dane McKinnon, and Dorcas Meadowes as our chasers, looking very, very strong. The seeker, as always, Regulus Black, who we know will have no problems whatsoever. Barty Crouch Jr, and the other I am not quite sure of their name, but the beaters look very strong, and are in very good shape. Tobias Nott, a seventh year, the keeper, and the captain, apparently the best keeper this school has seen in a while, and all that will be determined today, playing against some of the best chasers in the school, Evan, will you introduce the Ravenclaw lineup?” 

“Thank you, Peter, the seeker, although Regulus Black, one of the best seekers, is playing against Emma Vanity, who seems to have an excellent reputation when it comes to this especially. Said her shortest game was only forty five seconds long. So who knows whether Regulus will succeed in this game?”

James scoffs, “Regulus could easily beat the rest of the seekers in this school. Emma is in sixth year as well.” 

Marlene shrugs; she doesn’t care much. 

“If I’m being honest, I’m not entirely sure of any of the chasers' names, which may or may not have a reason behind it. The chasers on Ravenclaws seem to be not as strong as the Slytherins, not in a biassed way or anything. Though, I would be pretty scared to be any of the players in this game, as Kingsley Shacklebolt is playing beater, and has a good arm on him. Finally, the last player I’m sure of, Caradoc Dearborn, who is said to also be one of the best keepers the school has seen, but in my opinion, he doesn’t stand a chance against Meadowes, number five, Lestrange, number four, and McKinnon, number six.”

A roar came from the girls behind them. 

“So I hear, McKinnon is one of the crowd’s favourites,” Marlene can hear the excitement in Evan’s voice as he announces this. She looks towards Reginald, who is clapping along with the girls—he’s trying to follow what other people are doing, and this, to Marlene, was quite funny. “How about we hear it for Dorcas Meadowes, the highest scoring chaser this school has ever seen?” 

A roar again, except this time it came from the entire crowd. That’s her girl, Marlene grins to herself, crossing one leg over the other. If only Dorcas knew how Marlene felt about her. If only. If only. If only. 

“Yeah, I have to say she’s better at finishing the team off than I am, so not a surprise,” James shrugs it off, clapping along though. If James Potter does one thing well, it’s being a graceful winner, and a graceful loser even more so. 

Despite being that one kid who probably never gets told no, has been spoiled his entire childhood, two parents who love him more than anything in this world, and being a rich pureblood, out of everyone, he is the most graceful loser you’ll come across. His sportsmanship easily beats every other person ever. 

“Eh, I could destroy Barty,” Marlene nods. She had no shame in saying that she was a less graceful loser.

“Yeah, do it,” Benjy grunted, his back slouched in his chair, as the girls chanted his name. “No, no, I’ll do it.”

“Benjy, calm down love,” Mary ruffled his hair, obviously needing to get a haircut, but it didn’t look horrible. Marlene usually finds every man to walk by her a disaster, but Benjy was a pretty good looking guy, and his hair actually suited him. “It’s fine.”

“Getting angry over someone who’s not even yours?” Avery now called out. It was clear all Benjy wanted to do was cry. “Poof!” 

“Shut the fuck up, will you?” He got out of his seat, turning around. It was clear that Barty heard this. Heard Benjy shout at them. Though, he couldn’t place where Benjy’s voice came from. Avery and Mulciber shared a look, laughing afterwards. Benjy dropped down in his seat again. 

“Yeah, Avery!” Florence leaned forward in her seat, which were aisles and aisles back, sitting with the girls who all were jerseys. Except her, she didn’t. “Are you jealous because Benjy can actually find some romance, whilst all you can do is sit at the back, feeling sorry for yourself, and taking it out on everybody else.”

“At least I could get a girlfriend, not being obsessed with a boy, as a boy, poof.” 

“You seem pretty obsessed with Benjy right now, he’s a boy.” 

The girls who wore a number two jersey didn’t smile, or laugh, but every single one of the other girls broke out in quiet giggles. Florence turned around, smugly, and Mary looked worried—Marlene knew why, and Lily did, too, but the way she glanced at her, looking past the hair that stopped most people from seeing her face. 

“And does Black spot something? He’s squinting his eyes, sitting back on his broom. And ah, the Ravenclaw seeker seems to notice from across the pitch,” Peter says. “He’s flying, he’s zooming, is he going to get— oh! He stops, leaving Vanity to smash into the crowd.”

Marlene spots Regulus mouthing something, she’s down. 

“Ok, so he fakes diving down to get rid of a player,” Marlene tells James as she takes the seat beside him again. “No one ever spots the snitch five seconds into the game. Rookie mistake on Vanity’s behalf.”

“So what? We tell Jamie not to follow Regulus.”

“Yeah, when he spots the snitch, he goes, but he shouldn’t follow Regulus,” Marlene nods. “And Sirius?”

“Hm?” 

“Are you ok?” She asks.

“Yeah, just a bit worried,” he shrugs one shoulder. “It’s the first time I’ve seen him play since I left, a bit nerve wracking.”

“It’s alright,” she half smiles, leaning over to squeeze his hand. She felt guilty; she and Sirius used to bond over their siblings, how it’ll never be ok between them, just for them to make up two years later. It didn’t seem fair. Because Sirius was the one who deserved it. Marlene had enough in her life to keep her going. 

“McKinnon to score his third goal, and seventh goal from Slytherin!” Evan shouts, and it was clear the amusement in his voice. “McKinnon has improved so much since we last saw him last season. Scoring his eleventh goal of this season.”

The girls from behind them jumped out of their seats, along with the Slytherins right at the back, and even Reginald. They all clapped. And the strangest thing, Marlene did too. She smiled, and clapped louder than anybody else in the crowd had shouted. 

James laughed, shaking his head. But it wasn’t at Marlene, he was staring at Reginald who was practically jumping up and down because of Dane’s goal. Marlene shakes her head, knowing if Regulus was the one who scored it, James would be doing all that, and more. 

Which was the thing that caused Marlene to realise that Reginald was interested in her brother. She kind of cringed at the thought of it, uncomfortably shifting in her seat. One of her best friends had a thing for her brother. And well, she couldn’t entirely blame Reginald. Or Dane. She was in love with her brother’s best friend too. 

“Wow, I didn’t know that he was that good!” Reginald sits back down, looking at James and Marlene who glanced at each other. 

“What is with us, and mean Slytherins?” James whispered leaning closer to her. Marlene shrugged, glancing toward Benjy, who kept glancing back at the girls. They whispered, and giggled. Benjy didn’t look like he was really able to take it. 

Barty caught a glimpse of the crowd, as his eyes searched through many, many people, as if he was looking for somebody. And he was. He was looking for Benjy. Marlene could see it. James could see it. And Barty winked, causing the girls to giggle more. But it wasn’t at them.

Benjy stood up, grabbing his things, and left the Slytherin scarf on the chair. He had a huge piece of paper in his hand, folding it as he squeezed past them. Marlene frowned, as she caught his eyes. He shrugged his shoulders, struggling to hold back his tears. 

Marlene looked back at the field, hearing them announce that Regulus had caught the snitch. Three minutes into the game, and she jumps out of her seat, not saying another word to the rest of them. She had priorities, and right now, Benjy was her first one. Sirius and Remus followed the other two.

She rushed down the stairs, finding him, sitting at the end. Remus and Sirius showed up only a few moments later.

“The game ended, you may want to move before you get trampled,” Sirius shrugs, and Remus taps him softly. Benjy wipes his eyes, standing up from the ground. “Look, you can go under there, we all will.”

“Yeah,” Marlene nods. “We want to help you in times like these, alright? You’re our mate, and we’ll do anything to help you if you need us.”

Benjy nods, as Remus pushes the piece of Slytherin fabric, wiping his hand on Sirius as they head in. Sirius chuckles, smirking at Remus.

“So tell us what’s wrong?” Marlene says, as Benjy immediately sits down on the floor; all three of them follow him. He stares into one spot on the floor, frowning. 

“I expected that if he and I—that if we went on a date, I would finally have somebody who I truly like, and somebody who fancies me all the same, not just wants to kiss me in secret, you know?” He murmurs. 

“Just because he kisses you in secret doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you,” Sirius assured him. “Plus he winked at you, not at those girls.” 

Benjy rolls her shoulders, dropping his head to rest them on his knees.

“Can I use you as an example, Sirius?” Remus asks him. And Sirius nods—it seemed the only thing that Sirius ever decided was something worth doing was making Remus happy. He watched him so carefully, hoping it wasn’t going to be anything bad. “Sirius and I, er, dated. He was a bit like Barty as well, but at the end of the day, he chose me. He wouldn’t have asked you out if it wasn’t you he wanted.”

Benjy nods; this was reasonable to him. Marlene squeezes his hand. And Sirius does the same thing to Remus, nodding. 

“So why aren’t you together anymore?” Benjy asks. Marlene almost laughed. 

Remus and Sirius glanced at each other, and they nodded. 

“I’m… I’m a werewolf,” he whispers.

Silence. And Marlene felt as if she could hear the heartbeat of each and everyone of them as Benjy continued to not answer. 

“You broke up with him because of that?” Benjy glares at Sirius, whose expression alters into a worried one. He rapidly shakes his head. 

“No, no,” he says. “I sold Remus out to Snivellus, it was my fault.”

“Why?” Benjy murmurs, looking smaller.

“We don’t have to get into it now,” Remus shakes his head, looking toward Sirius. “He made a mistake.”

Marlene smiles at the three boys, “I’m going to go now,” she winks, leaving. And then she sees it. Emma Vanity. And Dorcas. They were kissing. Marlene felt as if seconds ago she could hear her own heartbreaking, and now she feels as if her heart stopped. “Oh, er, I—I’m sorry.” 

Marlene quickly runs up the hill. She didn’t wait for an answer. She rushed to her room. She may never leave again. She never wants to see any other human ever again. And for the first time, she understands real heartbreak. She always felt a little bit of a chance with Dorcas, and it was over. She had somebody else.

This is why Dorcas wasn’t being a real asshole to her anymore. It’s because she didn’t care enough about Marlene to continue to be one to her.