Rage

November 15, 1971

Romulus loved snow. It was quite cold in Wales, so he was used to it. And because of the Wolf, his temperature was naturally higher than others around him. He loved throwing snowballs at his friends, and slush balls at his brother, who quickly retaliated with a white wash. 

He also loved after the play. He never used to, being in that house, but now it was great. Cosied up in one of James’s woollen jumpers, a cup of scalding hot coco, next to the warm flames of the Gryffindor fire, talking and laughing with his friends, his brother, and the girls. Mary’s smile alone could make the room warmer, Romulus thought.

He glanced around, taking in all the happy faces around him. He had never felt this way before. This form of pure happiness and contentment, he liked it. Remus poked him in the side.

“Wyt ti’n syllu ar Mair?” he asked with amusement, (are you staring at Mary?).

“Nac!” he said, probably a little too loudly.

“What?” Sirius asked, looking up.

“Dim,” Remus had an amused look on his face, (nothing).

“You calling me dim?” Sirius looked shocked and a little offended. Romulus had forgotten that that was also an English word for something else. 

“What?” Remus said, looking bewildered.

“You just called me dim.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did.”

“Dim means ‘nothing’, dim-wit,” Remus said, looking Sirius in the eye with a bored expression.

“Oh.”

Look at the way Sirius looked at him, he thought. If Sirius ever hurts my brother…

“Sirius, so I was thinking about a new Quidditch move that we could show the team…” James started, trailing off and shoving a piece of parchment in Sirius’s face. Sirius, jolted from his stance, looked down at it, and quickly started to talk to James about the pros and cons of the play.

Romulus, seeing that Sirius was well and distracted, whispered to Remus. “Welsoch chi sut roedd yn edrych arnoch chi?” he asked, (did you see how he was looking at you?).

“Edrych arnaf sut?” he said, looking surprised, (looking at me how?)

“Dim,” Romulus didn’t really know or care about which language Remus took it to be. Both, really. 

“Oh, okay.”

Romulus shook his head, and went to sit by Mary instead. She threw her blanket around his shoulders when he sat down.

“Oh wow, you are warm,” she said, looking pleased and a little surprised.

“I have a higher temp than regular people. I’m not sick!” he laughed at the raised eyebrows on her face. Quite a nice face, he noticed. “Just cause I’m not a ffycin glacier under this damned thing.”

She laughed, and the room seemed to become warmer all of a sudden. He ducked as he felt his face grow warm, and forced himself to stay calm. He glanced up to see Mary just finishing with a small chuckle and looked over at him. 

“I am not a bloody glacier, don’t be daft, it's just that the soul must reflect on the outer body. Your soul must be in the deepest pits of hell if you’re that warm,” she said, poking at him.

“Where’s yours then? A nice retreat in Alaska?” he said, poking her this time.

“Alaska’s quite nice, I’ll have you know.”

“Great, do tell,” he looked at her, faking innocence and trying to look curious. 

“...Well I haven’t been…”

“Ha! You’re trying to sound so mature and the one argument you have you can’t even back up!” he was so pleased with this information, he didn’t notice the amused looks his friends were giving him.

“You two get on well…” Lily said with a small twinkle in her eye. Everyone murmured their agreement, and Remus gave him a wink. He wrinkled his nose.

“Don’t. You. Even. Think. About. It,” he was glaring at his brother, daring him to speak. Remus got a malicious look in his eye, and smiled his psychotic smile he’d perfected over the years.

“Oi, Rom, what you talkin’ ‘bout!” he called out. Romulus flipped him off, and turned back to Mary.

“I hate him SO much, I will kill him one day,” he said this so convincingly that Mary actually laughed.

“Aww, come on, you love each other really,” she said this with a teasing smirk. Romulus sighed. 

“He has no right to be such a pen cachu all the time,” he grumbled. She looked at him, as though trying to remember something.

“You’ve said that before. Can’t remember what it means though…” she trailed off.

“Means shit head,” he said, grinning at her.

“Y’know, I’ve never met any other person with as bad profanity and you and your brother.” She smirked at him, and he laughed.

“Think we get it from our tad,” he almost dropped his mask, almost let the crack that was threatening to split the fake face win, almost let his smile vanish, but he didn’t. He had no idea why he had mentioned his father, but he did. She did seem to notice something, though. She looked at him with some concern, but seemed to drop it.

“Guessing that means ‘dad’, or ‘father’,” she laughed at the surprised face that was Romulus Lupin.

“Yeah. How did you know?” he asked, looking at her sceptically.

“Romulus. It literally sounds like ‘dad’. I would be incredibly dim if I didn’t guess it.”

He laughed. Not at her, but at her bluntness. He had never met someone like Mary, so willing to just say her opinion, without caring what other people thought. It was enthralling. Mary glanced at him, smiling. He didn’t think that he had ever seen a frown on her beautiful face. Her warm chocolate eyes danced with humour. 

“Hello? Earth to Romulus,” she said with a small laugh. He loved her laugh. It was somehow filled with warmth, and could bring him from his deepest depressions, he was sure. “Hello?” she tried again. Romulus jolted from his trance, realising he was staring. He blushed. “You’re cute when you blush,” she said, making him blush harder.

“Aww, ydy fy mrawd yn hoffi rhymun?” Remus’s voice startled him, and he blushed, if possible, deeper, (does my brother like someone?).

“Daliwch ati i siarad fe feiddiaf chi,” he spat, (keep talking, I dare you).

“Wow,” he said, raising his hands, “roedd hynny’n wenwynig.” (that was venomous).

“Dda.” (good).

“What are you guys saying?” James asked.

“Romulus said ‘good’,” Sirius said, a look of concentration crossing his features. 

“I just said that they were great friends, and this is the first time I’ve seen him blush,” Remus said, with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

Romulus grumbled under his breath, “Well, I know someone who makes you blush. He’s sitting right to your left.” Everyone else hadn’t heard, but Remus had, with the heightened senses and that. The colour drained from his face, and he glared at his brother. Well, he thought venomously, can’t take your own medicine, don’t give it out. He smiled innocently at his brother, and the glare deepend. The fireplace roared with new life than that of the dying embers.

“Wow, what did Romulus say to get your knickers in such a twist?” Sirius laughed, looking at Remus with such adoration it had to be illegal in some countries. It was hilarious, with the way that Remus was so observant that nothing seemed to slide past him, completely missing the way Sirius looked at him. James noticed, though, and gave Romulus a small wink. Romulus winked back, and almost burst into giggles when James made a crude hand gesture towards them.

James got up, and walked over to him, and sat down on the sofa with him and Mary. Mary yawned, stretched, said something about needing the loo, and walked off. Romulus was slightly disappointed with her absence, but James quickly began talking.

“Sirius has a total crush on Remus,” he said, a little too forward for Romulus’s liking.

“Remus doesn’t notice a thing. That's what’s unusual,” Romulus replied. He knew how they looked. They were quite handsome, the both of them, but he had always been a bit envious of Remus’s amber eyes. His were his fathers dusky blue, and he hated his dad. Remus was lucky to be blessed with their mother’s, Hope, bright amber ones. He knew Remus was envious about how almost every colour complimented his eyes, though, so it was even.

“What d’you mean?” James asked.

“Not unusual for someone to be crushing on either of us. Unusual that Remus, ot I, for that matter, don’t notice it. Even if it is a guy,” he said simply.

“Have to love how you can say that so easily you say that. ‘Specially ‘bout how you also included yourself as well,” Romulus had to resist laughing as James' obviously posh accent was shortening his words. It was something fun to listen to.

“It’ll be fun to see how this plays out,” Romulus laughed. He glanced at James, smiling. 

“Y’know, I’m pretty sure you and Remus didn’t like me at first,” James said. Romulus felt guilty about just how true that was. “I mean, I was a little arrogant-” Romulus snorted, “Okay, quite arrogant then, and, well, don’t think of me as a dick for saying it, cause it's the truth, I obviously came from money-”

“As well as love and affection,” Romulus said without thinking. James had so obviously had the perfect childhood, it was almost painful. He had been loved, and spoiled, and had had friends. Fuck, he had been fucking fed, and that was more that Romulus. He would bet money he didn’t have to say James had never been hit by one of his parents, had never been locked in his room, or the basement. Yes, Romulus hadn’t liked him at first, because he was jealous. 

He had always wanted to be a normal kid. Not the kid with the desperate mam and the crazy dad. He had always wanted to feel such happiness as James had probably felt. He wanted love, and hugs, warm houses that felt like home. He had wanted friends. Fuck, he just didn’t want to hurt. Inside and out. Hogwarts was the first time he had ever felt happy.

James stared at him, a look of shock on his face. “Well, I can tell you one thing you have that I have always wanted,” he said.

“Shoot.”

“I’ve always wanted a brother. Someone to wrestle with, to play with, to talk to. I think we all have something in common,” he said.

“What?” Romulus asked.

“We all want what another person has, and never take the time to appreciate what we have.”