Familiaridad
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“Oh, I know her! I haven’t had the chance to read her, but my ex-girlfriend liked her a lot,” Hyun Ju said, excited.
“That’s wonderful, Ms. Hyun. I have two different books. Please, pick one first,” you said with a smile.
Wait… Had she just said ex-girlfriend? Your mind froze for a moment, processing those words. You had wrongly assumed she was only attracted to men. Could she be a lesbian…? This had certainly sparked a deep curiosity within you.
"Paula is a beautiful book," Hyun Ju’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts.
“Y-yes, it is!” you replied, embarrassed for getting distracted. “My grandmother and I used to read it together when I was in high school. Would you like to read that one?”
Hyun Ju gave you a soft smile in response. “Yes, please.”
“Then, let’s do this: Each of us will read a chapter, and the next day, we’ll tell each other what happened. How does that sound, Hyun Ju?” you asked, even though you wouldn’t actually have to read anything—you already knew the books inside out.
“That sounds great, interesting even,” Hyun Ju replied.
“I’ll leave you to rest. If you need anything, you can ask the nurse on duty. See you tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” she simply said, holding the book in her hands.
— It’s sad to know that in life, those who lack affection—from the world and from themselves—fall in love with the simplest things. They get carried away quickly, building castles in the air just from experiencing another person’s kindness. Even if it’s the smallest gesture, it’s new to them. That is the dilemma of the vulnerable in this world… —
The television in Hyun Ju’s hospital room played these words as she had already fallen asleep, a faint smile on her lips and the book resting half-read on her lap.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
“I don’t recognize you. Stay away from me.”
“Mom, please, it’s me. I’m your daughter.”
“I never had a daughter. Get out of here and don’t come back…”
Hyun Ju jolted awake, her face drenched in sweat and her heart racing. “I can’t believe it,” she muttered to herself. “That witch still haunts me in my dreams…”
Those were the last words she had heard from her mother when she came out to her. At least five recurring nightmares tormented her every night, and she deeply wished to get rid of them every time she woke up.
For a moment, Hyun Ju felt disoriented. Oh, right—she was in the hospital, and you had given her the book she was still holding. What time was it? Today was the day she was supposed to go home… Home, but not a home, she reminded herself.
After her ex-girlfriend left her upon coming out as trans, that place had never felt comfortable again. They had bought that apartment together.
Using the strength in her arms, Hyun Ju got out of bed and made her way to the hospital room’s bathroom. She was still dressed in a thin hospital gown, her hand connected to an IV that was keeping her stable.
In the bathroom, she brushed her teeth, washed her face, and fixed her hair. She left it down, wetting it slightly to style it.
It had been a while since she had looked in the mirror. Of course, she hadn’t seen the results of her surgery yet. What if they put in the wrong implant? God, my debt has only grown bigger, and I’m still far from my final goal.
The thoughts in her head were relentless, attacking her without pause.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
You found yourself in a small dilemma, standing in front of your closet.
Today was the day you would finally accompany your patient to her home and live with her for at least two weeks to take care of her wound and overall well-being.
But you were facing a dilemma you had never encountered before: What should I wear?
Beyond your professional, neatly ironed uniforms packed in your bag… Of course! Books, more books, snacks, and—
“Can we leave now?” Bryan called out as he grabbed a piece of meat from the fridge. “We’re still on time, but I want to stop for an iced matcha.”
“Oh, yeah, sure!” you hurriedly stuffed a few more things into your backpack, ready to go for one last matcha before heading to your patient’s home.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
Hyun Ju was being transferred in a hospital van. As some doctors helped her, she frowned.
How much is all of this going to cost? The service was too good. She was most likely going to drown in debt once this was all over.
Why did I have to come to this hospital? She asked herself as she remembered the day of her surgery.
That day, Hyun Ju had slept poorly. She woke up with a dry mouth and a racing heart. As usual, she got up early and went for a short workout to stay in shape—not as intense as her military training, but enough to manage her stress and anxiety.
But as she finished stretching, a deep pain struck her chest. Her steps slowed, her breathing became labored—something was definitely wrong.
She quickly searched for the nearest hospital on her phone, and that was how she ended up in the operating room without intending to.
Back in the present, she cursed herself for not going somewhere else—even though it had been an emergency. She felt guilty and a little foolish.
“Miss Hyun Ju, could you tell me which floor you live on? Your nurse is already waiting inside,” a trainee assisting her asked.
“It’s the fourth floor. There’s an elevator at the corner of the lobby,” she directed, and with the help of two nurses, they got her onto a wheelchair.
As Hyun Ju was brought out of the van, you were in the building’s lobby with Bryan. You wore a hoodie to shield yourself from the cold and some comfortable pants. It was late, and the temperature had dropped significantly.
“I’ll be happy to see you bring me coffee in the morning!” you joked to Bryan, who had insisted on buying you the latte you were drinking in the car.
“There’s your girl. I’d better get going,” Bryan said, nodding toward Hyun Ju as the nurses wheeled her inside.
“Call me if you need anything. I’ll be around,” he added.
You smiled and waved goodbye.
From a distance, your heart melted at the sight of your patient in the wheelchair. Hyun Ju’s hair was loose and slightly messy, her hospital gown wrinkled, her eyes tired, and her lips and cheeks flushed from the cold.
She gave you the warmest look she could muster and smiled. The corners of her eyes crinkled as her soft lips curled into a smile that warmed your heart.
She was a strong woman, someone you admired and were happy to take care of.
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
“It’s a very nice place—cozy, I’d say,” you told Hyun Ju as you sat beside her on the couch, holding a cup of bedtime tea you had made for her.
“Thank you. I actually don’t like it. But I’m glad it feels cozy for you. Feel free to make yourself at home,” Hyun Ju replied, taking a sip of her hot tea.
“Would you like to watch TV?” she asked, handing you the remote.
“Oh, sure. Thanks,” you said, taking the remote in your hands and putting on your favorite TV show—or well, you just put on Sex and the City to feel more at ease in your patient’s home. You always felt like an outsider in them.
About forty minutes passed, during which Hyunju and you enjoyed nothing more than a cup of tea and occasional small talk about trivial things or the show playing on the television.
“I’ll take you to your bedroom, Hyunju,” you said as you stood up from the couch. “You can lean on me while we walk there.”
Hyunju felt a bit embarrassed about relying on you, but she eventually gave in—she still didn’t have enough physical strength to take more steps than necessary.
Now lying in her bed, the scent of freshly washed lavender-scented sheets filled her nose, making her feel a little more at ease.
“Hyunju, could you take off your shirt? I’m going to clean and change your wound’s bandages.”
As surprising as it seemed, you felt nervous about changing her dressings. At the hospital, the interns had taken care of it, but under the warm light of her room and the comforting heat of her heating system, the responsibility was entirely yours.
You forced yourself to maintain a professional and steady demeanor—the last thing you wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable.
“Of course,” Hyunju said, trying to sound confident, but you could hear a slight hesitation in her voice.
“Don’t worry, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing I haven’t seen before,” you reassured her while helping her lift the shirt she was wearing, trying to offer her some security.
Hyunju didn’t respond and looked away—she still wasn’t ready to see how her chest looked after surgery… not again.
“The wound is healing very well, it’s recovering perfectly,” you said as you continued changing her bandages. Your hands moved as gently and respectfully as possible.
When you finished, you gave one last (strictly professional) glance at the area you had just treated, only to notice Hyunju’s face was flushed, and her eyes were tightly shut.
Your heart skipped a beat for the second time that night. Why did a woman older than you make you feel so tender?!
“I… I’m done cleaning. I’ll help you lower your shirt,” you said, suddenly hyper-aware of Hyunju’s half-exposed torso. Why was your mind betraying you like this?!
It’s just admiration for a really well-toned physique, you repeated to yourself over and over as you helped her pull her shirt back down.
“Thank you, nurse,” Hyunju said. On her nightstand, the book you had given her lay untouched—something you had completely forgotten to ask her about—but you were happy to see she was making progress.
“I’ll stay up a little longer. If you need me, I’ll be in the living room,” you told her before leaving her room.
Two hours had passed, and you still couldn’t fall asleep. Your eyes felt heavy as you stared at the screen of your laptop… until you finally drifted into a deep sleep.
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