Chapter 1
sirius and regulus both reacted to physical touch very differently.
sirius craved it. he clutched onto physical touch like a drug and let it completely envelope him as if it could scrub out the past. he always made himself close to his friends and loved ones, seeking them out and gently resting on them. and when he started to date he was well known for never being without a partner. he needed it, this new feeling of touch. re teaching himself to trust and to breath. and he didn’t give himself time to catch up with memories, constantly moving onto the next thing as if he could drown out his mind.
regulus was different, flinching at the slightest touch and never getting too close to anyone. he felt it within him. like muscle memory. the slightest knock in the corridor felt as though he was being shoved to the ground gasping for air. with hands clawing at him. at his hair at his body. drowning and suffocating him. it was almost ironic that this was so similar to the way he died, whilst sirius was the one who simply floated off into the abyss.
but one thing was the same for both of the black brothers, it always caught up. it didn’t matter how they both ran and hid, it always came back. this trembling terror which clutched them both and ripped them away from who they truly were. they were both reflections of the other and were both still terrified and even though it seemed as though at least one of them was free, they were both still completely and utterly..
trapped.