When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you…
Remus always got a lump in his throat, whenever he watched this Disney movie. Watching it less than a week after a full moon, clearly was not ideal either, and he could feel tears welling up in his eyes.
‘Is sad movie, yes, uncle Remus?’ Lily, the four year old daughter of his landlady said and he just nodded.
What were the odds that his landlady’s two kids were called Lily and Peter.
After that disastrous Halloween night and subsequent equally traumatic event in that London street, Remus had hidden himself away in a small boarding house, on the outskirts of London, where he often babysat the landlady’s two small children, as he generally was upstairs in his room anyway.
Initially he had kept to himself, posing as a writer, but over the past number of months he had gotten to know the landlady quite well and he was now entrusted with her two small children, whenever she needed to run an errand.
Every month he would disappear for a few days, ostensibly to meet his publisher, but in reality to deal with his monthly affliction. With some special potions, he was able to limit the effects somewhat, and he would hole up somewhere in the countryside, far away from any human settlements, for at least a couple of days, before re-joining society.
Most of the time he would go to an old hunting lodge up in Northern Scotland that had once belonged to the Potter family, but even when James was alive, the Potters had never used it. James had left it to him in his will, as soon as he himself had inherited it from his dad.
‘Sounds like the type of place that could come in handy for you, now that we no longer have ready access to the Shrieking Shack,’ James had said, when he had found out that the old hunting lodge now belonged to him.
Neither of them had of course realised how soon after that conversation, Remus would become the new owner of the old Potter hunting lodge.
His landlady had commented a few times that his meetings with his publisher really seemed to be taking a toll on him, so he now generally forced himself to stay an extra day to recover before returning home and appear more energetic than he really felt after his episodes.
Little Lily had climbed on his lap and was sucking her thumb in tune to the music. Two year old Peter had lost interest in the movie some time ago and had nodded off to sleep on the big beanbag in front of the television. He reminded Remus of a sleeping puppy, which brought his thoughts back to his own favourite dog.
How had things gone so wrong?
Nothing about the events last year added up.
Sirius was the most loyal human being who ever walked this earth. He and James were best friends and loved each other like brothers. Sirius was Harry’s godfather and adored the little chubby kid. There was no reason for Sirius to betray the Potters to Lord Voldemort. Yet by all accounts, that is what it looked like. The Ministry’s reasoning was that his brother Regulus was a Death Eater and his parents were pure bloods and silent Voldemort supporters, so it wasn’t a far stretch to think their other son would be a supporter also. But they did not know Sirius. They did not know that he had been disowned by his parents for defying the pure blood code and being sorted into Gryffindor, of all Hogwarts houses. They did not know that it broke his heart when his younger brother became a Death Eater and disappeared, presumed death. They did not know that Sirius despised everything his parents and Voldemort stood for. The Sirius he knew and loved would never have betrayed the Potters. Yet, the evidence said that he had done exactly that. He must have, as he was their Secret-keeper. No-one else knew where the Potters were, not even Remus. And why had he gone after their friend Peter? Remus did not accept that Sirius went on a Muggle killing spree and killed Peter by accident. If anything, it looked like those Muggles had been collateral damage in which case, Peter must have been the target, by why?
No matter how often he pondered this conundrum, he could not make any sense of it.
If Sirius had been in a Muggle prison, he would be able to go and see him and ask him all those questions himself, but there were no visitors allowed in Azkaban.
There hadn’t been much of a trial and Sirius screaming ‘I will kill him!’ over and over again, had not helped his case.
Everyone believed that he intended to kill young Harry, but Remus refused to believe that.
But then who was that threat aimed at?
If only he could talk to Sirius himself.
He had petitioned the Ministry several times, but so far had gotten exactly nowhere.
His landlady’s favourite television series was Columbo about a dishevelled Los Angeles homicide detective who, through a series of questions, unveils the truth behind even the most ingenious crimes. Remus wished there had been a Columbo on Sirius' case. The Aurors and the so called trial did not seem to have given motive any consideration and the London Metropolitan police did not seem to have done any investigating either. The more Remus thought about Sirius' alleged murder spree, the less convinced he was that Sirius had anything to do with it. Even if he took his own broken heart out of the equation, it just did not make any sense.
But how was he going to get anyone to listen to him and investigate this? He knew Columbo wasn’t a real investigator, unfortunately. He couldn’t go to the Metropolitan police because of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy.
Who could he turn to? Dumbledore, Alastor Moody?
He had gone to see Dumbledore first, as he knew that James and Lily had discussed the Fidelius Charm with Dumbledore in detail. In fact it had been Dumbledore’s idea to select Sirius as their Secret-keeper.
When Remus went to see Dumbledore and told him that he did not think Sirius would have betrayed his friends, Dumbledore revealed that Sirius had suggested that making him the Secret-keeper might be too obvious, as it wasn’t exactly a secret that he was James’ best friend. He had suggested to make Peter the Secret-keeper, but Dumbledore had strongly advised against this, and James and Lily had gone ahead with the original plan.
Or had they? Just because Dumbledore could not fathom anyone going against his precious recommendations, did not mean that James and Lily had not gone against his advice.
While he did not like to think Peter betrayed his friends any more than he liked thinking Sirius did, he would not be as certain of Peter’s innocence as he was of Sirius’ absolute loyalty. It would also explain why Sirius had gone after Peter.
Remus has asked Dumbledore, if he could use his influence to arrange a meeting with Sirius, but Dumbledore wasn’t hopeful that such a visit could be arranged.
Remus’ next port of call had been Alastor Moody. While they were both members of the Order, Remus and Alastor weren’t exactly best of friends and Remus’ suspicion that Peter might have been the one to betray the Potters did not absolve Sirius of killing Peter and a bunch of innocent bystanders. Just for that crime alone he deserved a cell in Azkaban, in Alastor’s opinion. Remus’ unease about Sirius’ insane ‘I will kill him’ screams, also fell on deaf ears. All killers ranted when they were caught, he maintained.
Alastor didn’t care who Sirius intended to kill when he got out of Azkaban, as he would never get out.
He would however try to put in a good word for Remus and follow up on his request to the Ministry to be able to visit Sirius, but he would give Remus little hope. The Ministry wasn’t in the business of granting requests of friends of convicted murderers and given his Werewolf status, he would give Remus even less of a chance.
Hugely frustrated, Remus went back to his boarding house.
He felt deep down in his heart that if he could just talk to Sirius and find out what happened that day, he might be able to understand it and put all this behind him.
Many months went by. Remus spent time babysitting his landlady’s kids and sometimes watched Columbo with her. He earned a bit of money, every now and then, as a freelance proof reader and helped out in the local free clinic for drug addiction and managed to keep himself in enough funds to keep a roof over his head. Following Sirius’ arrest, Remus has lost his friend and room mate as well as his living quarters, all in one fell swoop, as the Ministry had sealed all assets belonging to the Azkaban inmate, until either his unlikely release or his eventual death. As Remus could not show any proof of being Sirius’ life partner, he was evicted from, what had up to that point had been, his home, or at least the home he shared with Sirius.
When he had given up on ever hearing from Alastor again, the Auror paid him an unexpected visit.
‘I went over all the evidence again, after your visit,’ he said, without any preamble. ‘It did not sit well with me that, while there were lots of dead muggle bodies, there was only a finger left of Peter Pettigrew. I spoke to a number of my colleagues and nobody can think of any spell that would do that. I also spoke to some detectives of the Metropolitan police, posing as an investigative journalist, but there do not seem to be any muggle weapons that would cause only a finger to be left of a victim. This means that there is a loose end and I hate loose ends.’ At that moment he sounded just like Columbo, Remus thought to himself, and he allowed himself to get just the tiniest bit excited.
‘So I have requested for Sirius to be brought in for further questioning,’ Alastor continued, ‘and I would like you to be there. Tomorrow 12noon at the Ministry.’
And with that Alastor turned on his heels and was gone before Remus could even thank him.
That night Remus didn’t sleep a wink.
He couldn’t wait to get to the Ministry the following morning.
When they brought Sirius into one of the investigation chambers of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Remus was shocked at the physical decline in his friend over the past eighteen months. He looked like a shadow of himself. His normally glossy black hair hung limp around his pale features. His eyes were hollow and his cheekbones were protruding from his emaciated face.
‘Sirius!’ he exclaimed, which resulted in at least a tiny spark in the otherwise dull eyes.
‘Remus,’ a low whisper, barely audible, sounded from the caged area, where they had brought him.
Alastor Moody, scraped his throat, as if not sure how to start the interrogation of this former Order member.
‘Sirius Black,’ he began, his voice taken on an officious tone, ‘you have been brought here for further investigation.’
This resulted in a derisive snort from both Sirius and Remus and a simultaneous ‘what investigation?’ muttered under their breaths.
Sirius grinned at Remus in acknowledgement of the support of his friend, but Alastor gave Remus a stern look that left no doubt to the warning he was giving him. The look said, one more word from you and you are banned from these proceedings.
Remus had worked too hard to get here, to be kicked out of the room now.
‘Mr Black, for the record, can you describe in your own words, what exactly transpired in London on the day you killed twelve muggles and a wizard named Peter Pettigrew for which crime you were sentenced to Azkaban for the remainder of your life.’
The old Sirius would have been outraged at the way Alastor had stated these crimes as fact, without any meaningful investigation, but after eighteen months in the worst prison on this planet, Sirius just calmly outlined his recollection of the events.
As Remus had suspected, the Potters had make Peter Pettigrew their Secret-keeper at the suggestion of Sirius, who had thought he was too obvious a choice, and against the reservations expressed by Dumbledore.
Sirius therefore had known that the only person who could have betrayed James and Lily was that good for nothing piece of garbage rat, Peter.
He told them that he had tracked Peter to a street in London and had confronted him and once cornered, Peter had surprised and stunned him and when Sirius came to, he was lying among a lot of rubble and a bunch of dead muggles. Among the debris was a single finger, which later was identified as belonging to Peter Pettigrew. Before Sirius had been arrested, he had noticed the distinct pattern of rodent tracks in the dust and he realised that Peter must have turned himself into a rat, after cutting off his own finger, and successfully framing Sirius.
‘He must have cast some sort of blasting spell to cause the damage to the street and the death of those muggles’, Sirius said, ‘I must have been lying just outside of the blast radius, otherwise I would have been dead as well.’
‘Back up a minute,’ Alastor said, ‘Pettigrew turned himself into a rat?’
Sirius and Remus quickly informed Alastor that Peter was an unregistered animagus and that they had seen him turn himself into a rat many times over the years. For the moment they left out the part of Sirius and James also being unregistered animagi. That information did not seem relevant to the case in point.
Alastor was silent and for quite some time seemed deep in thought.
‘The way I see the facts now,’ he finally said, ‘your story does seem to be consistent with the evidence found at the scene. It certainly would tie up some loose ends.’
Remus jumped up out of his chair in delight, but at a gesture from Alastor, sat down again.
‘However, we only have your word for the fact that Peter is an unregistered animagus. We only have your word that his animagus form was a rat. We only have your word that there were rodent tracks leading away from the scene of the crime. We only have your word that Peter was the Potters’ Secret-keeper and we only have your word that Peter stunned you and framed you for the crime. Without any proof and without Peter Pettigrew here to confirm or deny any of your story, your testimony is just that, a story.’
‘I know,’ Sirius said defeated, and Remus could see that he had probably gone over all the details millions of times over the past eighteen months and had come to the same conclusion.
‘I will kill that fucker, if ever I get the chance,’ he sighed.
‘So that was who you were referring to, when they led you away to Azkaban? Peter Pettigrew not Harry Potter?’ Alastor asked.
‘Of course!’ Sirius said louder than he had spoken since they brought him here. ‘Do you people think I wanted to kill Harry Potter? Are you insane? He is my godson. I love that boy more than life itself! I would never do anything to harm that boy!’
‘Glad we cleared that up,’ Alastor said in a tone that suggested he had just ticked off another item on his list.
‘As things stand, there is nothing I can do. This interview, while enlightening, has not given me any evidence to overturn your verdict. I’m afraid I have to send you back to Azkaban.’
‘Noooooooo,’ Remus howled in distress, while Sirius looked at him resignedly.
‘I will however give you a few minutes alone with your friend, before I call the guards,’ Alastor said and left the chamber.
It took Remus less than a second to run over to the caged area and grab Sirius’ hands.
‘I will find that rat, if it is the last thing I do,’ he said to the man he loved.
‘The main thing is that you know that I am innocent and that I know you didn’t give up on me, Moons’ Sirius said.
‘Look after Harry, will you. How is my godson anyway?’
Remus didn’t have the heart to tell the love of his life that he had not seen Harry since his parents were killed and that he had no idea how Harry was doing, so he lied and said that Harry was growing up fast and was getting really good at flying that mini-broom Sirius had given him for his birthday. 'He is like a miniature version of James with Lily's beautiful eyes,' he said to Sirius.
Before Sirius could ask him any more questions about his godson or about Remus himself, the guards had come back into the room. ‘The dementors don’t affect Padfoot as much as they do me,’ he whispered to Remus and squeezed his lovers hands, before he was led away, back to the hellhole they called a prison. With a final cheeky wink, he was led out of the chamber.
Remus sank to the floor and wept silently. How could life be so cruel. James gone. Lily gone. Harry whisked off to some Muggle relatives. Sirius in Azkaban for a crime he did not commit. Peter on the run as a rat and probably gone forever.
By the time Alastor came back to escort him out of the Ministry building, Remus had pulled himself together enough to say that he would not let this miscarriage of justice go unchallenged.
‘I would expect nothing less,’ Alastor said, ‘and I will make sure that all Aurors will be on the look out for an unregistered animagus rat with a missing toe, but as you know that will be like looking for a needle in a haystack.’
‘I am very sorry, Remus,’ he said when the two men had reached the Ministry exit, ‘but my hands are tight without any collaborating evidence of Sirius’ innocence.’
‘I know,’ Remus said, ’A man can be thrown into Azkaban without a trial and without any evidence of any wrongdoing, but getting him out of that Merlin forsaken place will require evidence of his innocence.’
Alastor said nothing and just watched Remus leave the building.
Remus was royally pissed, but at least he had established one thing, he had given Sirius hope, knowing that there was someone on the outside fighting for him.