Begin again

They were walking hand in hand, Leah chatting aimlessly about something -probably training, or a funny thing Katie had said the other day- but Alessia wasn’t really listening. She was, in a way, but mostly, she was just basking in the simple comfort of it all. The sun was warm, the air crisp, and Leah’s thumb was stroking absentmindedly across the back of her hand. It felt easy. It felt safe.

And then, it didn’t.

A stranger walking past them made a snarky comment -low enough that Alessia barely caught the words, but sharp enough to cut through the haze of peace she’d been floating in.

She went rigid.

Her grip around Leah’s hand loosened, the warmth of it suddenly feeling like too much, too heavy, too exposed. Her ears rang, like they were filled with water, muffling everything around her.

Leah, however, reacted immediately.

She turned on her heel, voice sharp and furious as she shouted something back at the stranger, something Alessia couldn’t quite make out. It was defensive, protective, no doubt, but Alessia barely heard it. She barely heard anything over the roaring in her head.

A second later, Leah turned back to her, her hand still wrapped around Alessia’s -but then, she noticed.

Alessia was silent. Stiff. Her hand was limp in Leah’s grasp. It clicked.

Leah swallowed hard, her jaw tightening before she let go of Alessia’s hand, only to wrap an arm around her waist instead. She guided her toward a nearby bench, her touch firm but gentle, coaxing Alessia to sit down. Once Alessia was seated, Leah crouched in front of her, resting her arms on Alessia’s knees as she searched her face.

“Less?” she murmured, her voice softer now, careful.

Alessia couldn’t seem to meet her eyes, and Leah’s stomach sank. She shifted slightly, contemplating her next move, but before she could say anything else, she noticed that Alessia was already looking at her. Her eyes were glassy, shiny with unshed tears, her expression caught somewhere between fear and shame.

Leah’s chest tightened.

“Oh, baby…” she whispered, her fingers gently squeezing Alessia’s knees as she leaned in just a little closer, her voice full of love, full of reassurance. “Talk to me.”

Alessia’s throat felt tight, like there was a knot in it she couldn’t untangle. She swallowed hard, willing herself to just say something, anything, but her mind was a mess of white noise and panic. Leah didn’t push. She just waited, her thumbs tracing slow, soothing circles against Alessia’s knees.

“I just…” Alessia finally managed, her voice small. “I don’t know.”

She shook her head, hating how pathetic she sounded. She shouldn’t feel like this. She shouldn’t let some random stranger ruin everything. But the fear, the shame, the doubt -all the things she thought she’d moved past- had come back like a tidal wave, crashing over her before she even had a chance to brace for impact.

Leah nodded, as if she understood exactly what she meant. And maybe she did. She shifted closer, moving so she was kneeling properly in front of Alessia now, her hands sliding from her knees to her thighs.

“I know,” Leah murmured. “It’s shit. People are shit sometimes.”

Alessia clenched her jaw, looking away. “I just-“ She exhaled sharply, pressing the heels of her palms against her eyes. “God. I thought I was over this. I thought I was okay.”

Leah was quiet for a moment, then she reached up, gently pulling Alessia’s hands away from her face.

“Hey,” she said, her voice firm but kind. “You are okay. But it’s normal for this stuff to still get to you.”

Alessia let out a shaky breath. “It justit hit me all at once. Like -like it’s wrong. Like I’m wrong.”

Leah’s face hardened. “You’re not wrong, Less. There is nothing wrong with you.”

Alessia met her gaze then, wide and searching, and Leah softened again.

“I love you,” Leah murmured. “I love you, and I’m not gonna let some arsehole with a shitty opinion ruin that. Okay?”

Alessia’s breath caught.

Leah had said it before, in little moments when she was sleepy, when she was laughing, when she thought Alessia wasn’t really paying attention. But this time, she said it with so much conviction, with so much certainty, like she needed Alessia to hear it, to believe it.

Alessia exhaled slowly, the tension in her shoulders finally loosening.

She slid her hands down, curling her fingers gently around Leah’s wrists. “I love you too.”

Leah grinned then, just a little, and squeezed Alessia’s thighs. “I know.”

That earned her a weak chuckle, and Leah took it as a win.

“You wanna head home?” she asked softly.

Alessia hesitated. She should say yes. She should call it a day, crawl into bed with Leah, and try to forget about it. But instead, she surprised herself.

“No,” she said, her voice steadier now. She reached down, threading her fingers through Leah’s again. “Let’s keep walking.”

Leah’s lips quirked up in the tiniest smirk.

“That’s my girl.”

She stood, giving Alessia’s hands a tug, and Alessia followed, letting Leah lead them back onto the path.

They walked in comfortable silence for a while, the rhythm of their steps slowly falling back into sync. The weight in Alessia’s chest was still there, but it wasn’t suffocating anymore. Leah’s thumb brushed over her knuckles absentmindedly, a quiet reminder that she was still there, that she wasn’t going anywhere.

Alessia glanced at her, taking in the easy confidence in her posture, the way the sunset painted her face in warm golds and oranges. She envied her, sometimes -how sure she was of herself, of them. But mostly, she was just grateful.

Leah must’ve felt her staring because she turned, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

Alessia shook her head, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Nothing.”

Leah hummed, unconvinced, but didn’t push.

Instead, she squeezed Alessia’s hand once more before swinging their joined hands between them playfully. “You know, i would have fought him off for you.”

Alessia snorted. “And end up in the headlines? ‘Leah Williamson arrested for street brawling’?”

Leah grinned. “Wouldn’t be the worst way to go down.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“And you love it.”

Alessia rolled her eyes, but there was no bite to it.

Leah tugged her a little closer, nudging their shoulders together. “You okay?”

Alessia hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah. I think so.”

Leah studied her for a moment, then just nodded, content with the answer. “Good.”

They kept walking, the air between them lighter now. Alessia felt the tension finally start to fade, the knots in her stomach slowly unravelling. By the time they made it home, she was tired in a way that had nothing to do with training.

Leah kicked her shoes off immediately, stretching with a groan. “I’m knackered.”

Alessia chuckled, shutting the door behind them. “You didn’t even train today.”

“Yeah, but emotional support is exhausting.”

Alessia rolled her eyes fondly, watching as Leah flopped onto the couch, sprawled out like she had no bones. She hesitated for a moment, then walked over, nudging Leah’s legs apart so she could slot herself between them, resting her weight against Leah’s chest.

Leah made a satisfied noise, arms coming up to wrap around Alessia’s back.

“This is nice,” Leah murmured, already half-asleep.

Alessia hummed in agreement, letting her fingers trace idle patterns against Leah’s arm.

She thought about today -about the fear, the doubt, the way Leah had looked at her like she was the most important thing in the world.

She wasn’t over everything. Maybe she never fully would be. But with Leah, she thought maybe that was okay.