Remus melts at the literal sight of Sirius Orion Black.
Whenever he talks, the words out his mouth leave and never leave. How could a simple middle grade crush come this far? How could he let it come this far? Especially with his social anxiety and inability to talk in nervous times.
Whenever Sirius comes back to their dorm room perplexed and obviously annoyed, Remus is always the first one to comfort him. Even then, when he does, Sirius is so ashamed to just mention his problems to him.
He was actually, honestly, jealous of Sirius and James’s relationship. Even though it was purely platonic, truly just a friendship, Remus would feel slightly frustrated. He only wished Sirius would talk and dispense his problems to him. As Lily would say, Remus is a good listener.
Like a normal human being, Remus pushes his internal feelings down into a hole, and straight into the place where childhood trauma goes. Ironic
He sighed through his mouth, staring aimlessly at James as he attempted to make a move on Lily again. She blushed vigorously, but James didn’t seem to notice. God Bless that man’s heart. She flicked her red hair at him, causing James to back away in fear.
Remus chuckled at the sight of his friends antics. He let his gaze land on Sirius. His hair was in a bun and he was freshly tucked in tight trousers that compliment his ass, nicely. Remus cleared his throat of the horrible thoughts.
Sirius laughed lighthearted at Marlene’s insults on the Slytherins. He was always jealous of her; pretty lips, luscious waving hair, relationship with Sirius. At first, they used to say their relationship was purely platonic in every way. But then, they decided to come clean about it being a blooming romance, and it’s like Remus’ heart just shattered into a million little pieces. He said he didn’t care. Oh, but he did. He really did.
“Hello, Remy poo-cakes.” Mary teased from behind Remus.
He jumped at the sound of her soft voice. “Poo-cakes?”
“Poo-cakes.” She smiled, teeth white against her tan skin.
“What’s up, Mary?” He asked, avoiding Sirius and Marlene.
Mary looked between Remus and the two lovers with a pointed look. She knew something was up, Remus could tell. “Are you on about Marls?”
Remus whipped his head around so fast, his neck almost snapped. He raised an eyebrow at his curly haired friend. “What?” He choked out.
“You fancy Marls.” She stated with her arms crossed. Remus gave her a very pointed look in return. It’s not like he tried to hide his attraction to blokes from his friends, so it’s incredibly odd the fact that they hadn’t noticed.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Marlene. You fancy her.” She repeated, almost in an obvious tone.
Remus scoffed. God Bless, my friends. “I don’t, Mary. She’s pretty, but not my type.”
“Oh.” She stared at Remus for a couple of moments, examining his face, in hopes of finding out his current emotion. “Then why are you staring at her like you want to eat her face off?”
Oh god. Really? Is that what I look like? “Yeah. What? No!” He struggled to comprehend that newfound news. “I— no. Mary, I don’t fancy Marlene. And I’m not looking at her.”
“Well, then who are you looking at?! Sirius?” She exclaimed. Remus hadn’t said a word, but she figured it out all on her own. “Oh, shit. Wow.”
“Yeah, wow.” He exhaled, looking pensive at Mary and her obliviousness. He was sure she would be the first to figure out, as she loved gossip.
“Oh wow. Remus, that’s great. And also horrible.” She was evidently trying to stifle down a laugh. “He’s the straightest person I have ever seen.”
Remus looked at her like she was mad. Obviously, he didn’t want to try and define Sirius, but he definitely was not straight.
“Okay, well maybe not the straightest. But he is. I mean, how can he fancy blokes after living in such a bigoted home?” Her tone was getting sadder as she finished that sentence. Obviously, Remus knew that. Which is why he kept to himself, these past few months.
“It’s killing me, Mary. I can’t live like this.” Remus groaned, lowly.
Mary gave him a look of pity. “It’s alright, Poo-cakes. You know what you need? Alcohol.” She said proudly. “Would you care for a glass of gin, Remy Poo-cakes?”
Remus chuckled as he watched her walk over to her bag, where she pulled out a whole bottle of said gin. Remus gasped, but he wasn’t all that surprised. When you’re friends with Mary, learn to never be surprised by her.
“Hey, Macdonald. Can I have a glass of that?” Sirius asked, smugly at Mary. She refused it almost immediately, saying the word ‘no’ quicker than the wind.
“Here you go, Poo-cakes.” She doesn’t tire the nickname, and Remus thought it was quite cute.
Sirius walked over to the pair with a pensive mood. He glanced in between the to friends and their drinks. “Can I have a glass, Moony?” He said, showing his puppy dog eyes. Remus melted and luckily, Mary caught up.
“No, you cannot. Go away, Black.” She said simply.
“God, Macdonald. I’m not asking you. Just because no one wants to bed you, doesn’t mean you have to be so nasty.” Sirius rolled his eyes and Mary only stuck her tongue out in return. “I’m talking to Remus. Could I have a sip, Moons?”
Sirius was staring at Remus, with his steel grey eyes glistening in the light. “Uh. Sure.” He handed over the drink, and Sirius downed it, quickly. His throat moved flawlessly as he swallowed. Remus. Remus cleared his throat of the unclean thoughts again.
“You’re such a bitch, Macdonald.” Sirius blew raspberries. Mary flipped him off, before throwing herself at Remus, interlocking their elbows together. Sirius made a face at them. “Are you guys finally dating?”
Mary launched herself away from Remus so fast. “Are you having a joke?” She said at the same time Remus said, “Fuck no.”
Sirius chuckled, flopping down on the leather seat next to Remus. “I’m just saying, you guys would look good together, no?”
“No.” They said in unison. Mary didn’t show any interest in Remus or anyone in their friend group. And, her only excuse was, she’s too pretty to be dating any of them fools. God, Mary was great.
“Okay, okay. If you don’t fancy each other? Who do you sexy pieces fancy then?” He smirked and Remus grew red. Meanwhile Mary was scrunching her nose at Sirius’ failed attempt of flirting.
“You. Can you just leave us be, Black? You’re so annoying.” Mary rolled her eyes, as if nothing else was said.
“Remus doesn’t think so.” He stuck his tongue out to Mary. “He thinks I’m a beau.”
He definitely did.
After more failed attempts at playful flirting towards both Mary and Remus, Sirius eventually got tired and announced he was going up stairs to sleep.
Remus sat on his bed, staring at ceiling, feeling like a pile of shit. Poo-cakes was quite an ironic nickname for him, then. James was whining about Lily again, and Remus just couldn’t anymore.
“James, I love you. But you have to stop. Lily is a beauty and I know you love her, but some of us can’t take all this. Goodnight.” He concluded, trying his hardest to not sound like an ass towards his friend.
“Sorry, Moons. You can go to sleep now.” James smiled lovingly, before tucking himself in his own covers, with a tight smile grazing his face. Obviously, James was happy. Remus was jealous, James could be such a chipper person.
Remus ‘slept’ after that conclusion on a night. Mary was a great help. The alcohol hit his mind aggressively but still didn’t black himself out.
“Moons?” Sirius whispered outside Remus’s bed curtains. “Are you awake?”
He opened the curtain slowly, letting Sirius in the bed. He shuffled to make space for him and Sirius grinned widely. “Hi.”
“Hello.”
“How are you?” His voice was awkward? Remus didn’t know what he was feeling.
Remus replied with an assuring nod. Sirius smiled widely.
“So, anyways. I wanted to ask you about my relationship with Marlene.” He asked, slowly as if he was debating even asking it.
“Oh.”
Sirius stopped himself from thinking too hard. “Did you think we were great?”
Were
“Yeah.” Obviously he did. Just because he was madly in love with Sirius, does not mean he was going to diss his girlfriend. “You were perfect for each other.”
He wasn’t even lying.
“Right. Now, we’re talking in past tense. So do you know what’s going on?” He asked, very slowly looking up at Remus’s face.
“You broke up?” It wasn’t more of a question. Just a follow up to see of he was reading things correctly.
Sirius nodded and explained everything. “I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I’m talking to you about my stupid love life.” He sniffed, holding back tears.
Remus froze. What was he supposed to say? Tell him to not stop? “It’s fine, Sirius. I’m your friend. You can talk to me about anything.” He assured him plenty.
Sirius sucked his teeth. “That’s the problem Moons. We’re friends. Just friends.”
Yeah, Remus is an idiot. But please, is he idiotic enough to not realize Sirius was basically confessing his love for him? He really didn’t know what to say anymore. He hadn’t prepared for this.
“Uh— what? Yeah, we’re friends, Sirius.”
“Yeah. And I don’t want to be just friends.” He said, frowning and holding out his palms for Remus’s.
Remus blinked rapidly as he held Sirius’s unbearably soft hands. “What?”
Sirius snapped out of his state. “It’s fine if you don’t— feel the same. I was talking to Marlene and she said, I’m neurotic. Because I suppress my feelings. Remus,” He lifted his hands from Remus’s and inhaled, preparing himself.
Don’t you say it, Sirius.
“I li— I love you.” God.
Love?
“And not in a friend way. I love you like love you, love you. I love you like I want to kiss you until your lips grow red. Or something romantic. I love you, Remus.”
Fuck.
Remus was breathing unfashionably fast at that newfound revelation. “Uh— Me too, Sirius.”
“You love yourself too?” Sirius raised an eyebrow at him.
“No. I mean I love you too. You’re such a fucking idiot.”
“Oh. That makes sense.” He scratched the back of his head in relief. “So, you do? What does this mean?”
Remus didn’t want to hear his idiotic statement and kissed his lips. Which was weirdly wet because he was licking them out of nerves whilst he confessed his love for him.
And what do you know? Sirius Black was a better kisser than Remus had expected. Not that it was a particularly long kiss, but the sparks truly did fly. After that lingering sense of love, it may or may not have left Remus wanting more. Neurotic more like erotic.