Beetledump

Beetledump [original…?]

                Donald John Trump had a house not a home.

                If you were to ask him why he’d tell you simply; a home requires the presence of at least sixteen people acting as tenants. A house only requires twelve. Were there questions to be asked of his judgement? Perhaps. Trump had never been outstanding in the counting field considering that less than twelve people lived in his ‘house’. Another possible detail up for debate being that Trump isn’t quite sure whether he rents or not, so tenants may not be the correct term. These thoughts have likely never crossed through his head though.

                Regardless of all this, or the everlasting mystery of where in the world Trump could’ve possibly gotten any of these definitions from, Donald J. Trump still had a house. For his house lacked any form of true love. But despite Trump not knowing it yet, he was in fact looking for true love wherever he was to go. Certainly, Trump was not an ordinary fella. Trump was the president of The United States of America. The entirety of the States living within his control, grasped by his scaly little dinosaur hands. It was surprisingly easy to turn the U.S. into a dictator run country.

                The dictator t-rex walked his outstandingly short legs over to the local library. He planned to show off in his next political speech that he could read big-boy chapter books, and of course he was needing a book to use as an example of those skills of his. However, he was having some difficulties finding a book that wasn’t impossibly hard to read. He wasn’t even quite sure why they’d ever carry books such as ‘Goodnight Moon’, clearly there was no one out there in possession of enough reading prowess to even think of reading that book. Alas, Trump would have to find a different section.

                After enough searching, Trump was finally able to find the perfect book. It had every necessary letter to show off his immense comprehension of the English alphabet. It even included some illustrations, like an apple on the cardboard page featuring the letter a. Those would certainly come in handy if he were to get stumped.

Donald unhesitantly reached for the book. But unfortunately, he realized his arms were too short and he was incapable of reaching really. So, the orange scaled man walked over extremely close to the shelve grabbed the book with the aid of a stool for height. Trump brushed fingers with a 1/2” tall stunningly handsome little green man covered in dirt. Trump felt dominated by the immense size of the taller green man’s big alpha hands.

After remaining stagnant in that position for a considerable amount of time, Trump inevitably came semi-near the realization that the green dirty man must’ve also been reaching for that same book. This realization was, of course, held back by the fact that Trump couldn’t seem to take his orbs off from the other tiny man’s orbs. Trump was released from his daze as the dirt man opened his mouth to speak.

                “You can have the book, but you’ll have to give me it next once you’re done with it… Hot dino man~”

                Trump felt his dino face heat up at the sound of the dirt man’s deep voice. “O-okay I agree with- this plan you have is, with the books, and by the way I’m very good at reading, it’s a great, great quality for the president. I’m the president. But I really love books, books are beautiful. As president I’ve done more for books than you could ever imagine, like for example, one thing- and by the way I’m also good at things that aren’t books, my talent is vast. I’m very, very good, very, very good at books. Books, I’m the best at books, big league, believe me,” the president spoke.

                “Okay… I’ll just stop by your home once I think you’re done with it,” verbally formed the green guy.

                “It’s house, not a home,” corrected Trump.

                “Alright,” agreed the tiny little half inch tall person as he walked away. Trump did not notice him leaving, and in his absence proceeded to explain his definitions of a house and a home.

                As Trump laid in his bed that night, he felt a strange warmth in his chest that wasn’t there in prior nights. He felt confused at this. Donald took out his alphabet book after deciding that he should practice some, for despite his skills, the book still was a very hard one. The first page took him a while, but eventually through the help of the red fruit featured on the page he deemed what the first letter must be.

                “O,” read the genius president. Pleased with himself, the t-rex decided that he had enough practice for the night. He then went to bed. Somehow, that night his house felt slightly more like a home, despite that conflicting with Trump’s definitions.

                Trump began to have a dream sequence.

                “Hello, I am Yaoi Jesus,” said Yaoi Jesus. Yaoi Jesus was the man in Trump’s dream, but he was not the man of Trump’s dreams. (A/N: the man of Trump’s dreams is Beetlejuice btw :3) Yaoi Jesus continued to speak, “you are gay. I now must harass you in your dreams.” Yaoi Jesus is a man with long flowing silver hair and bright red eyes, he possibly is the embodiment of yaoi. He most likely isn’t.

                Trump tried to ask questions, like ‘what’s a yaoi??’ for example, but it seemed he was not able to speak, neither did he have any tangible form. Yaoi Jesus was just a voice in a black void, so Trump wasn’t sure how he knew what he looked like, it was probably something to do with his yaoi presence or something. Did Yaoi Jesus have yaoi powers?

                “You’re gay now, so you get dreams from me. I can’t read your mind or anything right now, I just assume you’d be a bit confused about that. So gay people all get dreams from me, Yaoi Jesus, that makes sense right? It’s just sort of a whole thing… Well, it’s really not, I guess that’s just the best way to describe it though,” explained Yaoi Jesus.

                Trump’s dream sequence proceeded to end.

                Donald trump woke up. He felt very, very confident in his reading abilities. His speech wasn’t planned to be taking place until next week, but his confidence said otherwise. He knew what the best most responsible course of action would be. Donald pressed the ‘I wanna make a brash impulsive decision’ button, not once has he ever pressed this button for any form of stupid reason.

                “Ringring ringringring,” said the speaker of the button. It had started up a call with someone who could deal with his request.

                “Hello, I am Ōkina Atama,” said Ōkina Atama. This was a handy introduction; Trump had no idea who the button called. Knowing that wasn’t his job.

                “I am actually very, very good at reading, big league. I’m going to give my speech today instead of next week,” declared the president.

                Ōkina sighed, “Okay, well I’ll go deal with all that… You’ll be having the speech around 5pm or something.” The line was silent for a while before a small mutter could be heard, “Why do I have to deal with this? I don’t even work for you? I’m still a fellow political figure despite the fact that I’m not president… If you heard any of that, well uh, you didn’t.”

                “What’d you say? How do I turn this thing off?” asked Trump.

                “Beepbeep beepbeepbeep,” announced the button speaker. It was signifying that Ōkina had hung up on Trump.

                Trump chose to occupy his time thinking about the green dirty tiny man, as opposed to practicing his reading skills. He was, of course, entirely capable and sure of his skills. Wowwwww, that dirt man sure was dreamy! Oh, wwhhaat, where exactly did the time go??

                It was now 5pm.

                “Ringring ringringring,” announced the button speaker. Trump stared at it. “… Just press the button,” requested the button. Trump pressed the button.

                “Go into the car outside,” requested Ōkina the U.S. political figure. Trump went ……..

                (A/N: oh, btw it wasn’t supposed to abruptly end in the middle of a sentence!!!!1!!1!!!!!! or actually it wasn’t supposed to end like right here at all. I just forgot I was writing X3 I’ll write chapter two sometime? It prolly won’t be like super long waiting time??)