Sirius
“SIRIUS. NEED YOU NOW AT THE LONGBOTTOMS’. EMERGENCY. URGENT. JESUS CHRIST, I CAN’T THINK OF— I NEED YOU HERE NOW. RIGHT NOW.”
Sirius, Lily, and James stared at the wolf patronus as it faded from the center of the Potters’ sitting room.
At the same moment, Sirius and Lily turned to James, who sprang into action. He jumped up from the sofa and pointed at Sirius. “You, go. Make sure you have a piece of the mirror. Lily, send a patronus to Dorcas and Emmeline to pass on his location. I’ll get a hold of Kingsley and Mad-Eye. Move!”
James stormed from the room, shouting charms and spells that fell flat in the air.
Lily gave a strangled cry of exasperation. He had not even picked up his wand.
Lily grabbed it from the beside the record player and rushed after her husband. She turned around in the doorway, declaring fiercely, “Sirius, go. If I don’t hear from you in two minutes, I’m coming after you. Go.”
Sirius reached into his pocket, feeling the sharp edges of the mirror, and apparated. The night spun around him for a few terrible seconds, and all he could think of was Moony, Moony, hold on, I’m coming.
The swirling stopped, and Sirius stumbled on the Longbottoms’ front stoop. He burst in the front door, not even bothering to knock. “Remus, I’m here! What—”
He stopped in his tracks.
Remus stood in the Longbottoms’ kitchen, holding a screaming Neville awkwardly away from his body. His clothes were rumpled and vomit stained, and his hair stuck up at amusing angles. Tears glistened in the corners of his eyes.
“He won’t stop,” Remus said numbly.
Neville let out a blood curdling scream.
Sirius slowly reached into his pocket, holding the mirror close to his mouth. “Call off the cavalry, Prongs. He’s okay.”
On the other side of the mirror, James breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank Godric. Er, Mad-Eye, we don’t need the centaurs—”
Sirius stuffed the mirror back into his pocket. “Can I hold him?”
Remus handed Neville over to Sirius, collapsing at the table the minute his arms were free. His head dropped onto his hands.
“You remember me, don’t you, Neville? I slept on your sofa once and you woke me up by poking me in the eye,” Sirius said, holding Neville tighter as he continued to cry.
His little body racked with sobs.
Sirius patted his back gently. “Don’t like Moony much, do you? That’s okay, it takes some time to warm up to him. Are you tired? Are you cold?”
Remus gave a small shake of his head.
“Ah,” Sirius said quietly. “Maybe you just miss your mum and dad. That’s okay, I miss mine, too.”
Remus’ head dropped, almost to his knees. “He’s probably hungry. He refused to eat.”
“Can I teach you a little trick, Remus?”
Remus nodded.
With a wild scream, Neville threw his head at Sirius’ shoulder, wiping snot on his leather jacket.
Sirius took a deep breath. “When James and Lily are gone, and I’m minding Harry, when he’s crying like this, and hot, and sweaty, and boogery—”
“Stop.”
“— I like to feed him dinner in the bath.”
Sirius knew that if Remus had the energy, he’d raise an eyebrow. But his face was slack with exhaustion. “That sounds unsanitary.”
“Keep your judgement to yourself, Moony. You called me.” Sirius realized his voice came out a bit too sharp, and softened it when he spoke again. “It’s two bedtime steps done at once. I’ll spoonfeed him so the food won’t touch the water, and if he gets messy, he’s in the bath anyway. You have to admit, I still have a little bit of genius left in me.”
Remus didn’t respond.
Sirius jerked his head towards the stairs. “Go draw a bath. I’ll find applesauce or something. I’ll meet you up there.”
Sirius watched Remus pull himself out of the chair and up the stairs, then turned to the fridge. “Alright, Neville. What do you want to eat? Carrots and lettuce? Gross. Merlin’s beard, which one of your parents likes sunbutter? I bet it’s your dad. Disgusting. That must be why you’re crying, because you’ve lived your whole life without a proper sandwich. Applesauce! There we go. Sorry, lad, there’s not much to choose from. I didn’t realize you had health nuts for parents.”
Sirius kept talking as he gathered the food together and carried it upstairs. It reminded him of when James and Peter would push him to the front of the group whenever Filch caught them in the act, because they knew he’d confuse the old man with his incoherent ramblings. That would give Remus time to find the courage to apologize to Filch with his innocent, intellectual charm, and the Marauders would be on their merry way.
Now, Sirius was distracting a baby from crying by complaining about Frank Longbottom’s love of all things vegan. Sirius’ life honestly had taken quite a turn.
Sirius opened the bathroom door and breezed past Remus, who looked like a deer in the headlights. Sirius hummed to himself as he pulled Neville’s arms out of his pajamas.
“Applesauce first, then?” Sirius asked, but Neville was preoccupied with a bubble floating close to the drain.
“This feels like cheating,” Remus said, kneeling next to the bathtub.
“You have to get bedtime done somehow,” Sirius shrugged. “Though I guess it does help to have a coworker you can call in a moment of crisis. Good thing I decided to stay in and listen to James’ nightly gratitude list. Could you imagine if I was an Auror and was out on patrol? There would be an absolute crisis on our hands.”
The corners of Remus’ mouth twitched. “Right. Imagine.”
Sirius could feel Remus’ gaze on him, a type of look he remembered from school, which made his face hot. “Stop making eyes at me, Lupin. Go lay out some new pajamas and make sure Neville’s bed is ready.”
Remus struggled to a standing position, which instantly made stabs of guilt pierce Sirius’ heart.
But it was easy after that.
They worked as a team, barely speaking. Remus made the bed. Sirius dressed Neville. Remus kept blinking, slow and long, like he could fall asleep at any moment. Sirius handed him a book.
“Here’s a good Muggle one,” Sirius said. “Do you know it?”
Remus frowned, flipping the book over. “No.”
“We read it for Muggle Studies in sixth year. There’s evil mermaids and a dog who acts like a mother, it’s good stuff.” Sirius nodded at the book. “I’ll meet you after.”
“Where are you going?” Remus asked, eyes widening.
“Downstairs. Start reading!” Sirius stepped into the hallway, gently shutting the bedroom door so it made a soft click.
He heard Remus flip to the first page of Peter Pan. “All children, except one, grow up…”
Sirius’ hand trailed the banister as he moved downstairs. The Longbottoms’ house was cozy. Easy. Everything made sense— the two bedrooms, the one bathtub, just enough space for three. It made Sirius feel centered, like his head was firmly set on his shoulders instead of scattered between sprawling hallways and one million empty bedrooms.
He paced the sitting room, looking up at the ceiling. Somewhere up there, Peter Pan was leading Wendy Darling out of her open window, off to Neverland.
Neverland. Wonderland. Sirius liked that about Muggles. They created these absurd made up worlds in their heads, places that would always be there to help them escape.
Sirius didn’t have anywhere to escape to, and Merlin knows he needed it. But he couldn’t go anywhere without hearing drip, drip, drip.
He had to tell Remus.
Sirius heard Neville’s bedroom door open and close, then footsteps in the upstairs hallway. Sirius wiped his hands on his shirt. He could feel his heart beating.
What grown man still has nightmares? He’ll think you’re weak. You are weak.
You idiot, the sane voice in his head said. It’s Moony.
Remus appeared on the stairs. He seemed happier, whistling softly as he turned the corner. He stopped when he saw Sirius, hand still on the banister.
Blood thumped in Sirius’ ears. He couldn’t breathe. His hands shook, ghost white. Regulus had been his problem for his entire life, and never once had he thought to tell anyone else about it. Until now. Until Remus.
Remus’ eyes met Sirius’. “What happened?”
The words came out easier than Sirius expected. They burned his throat and his wavering voice filled every corner of the room.
“I saw my brother.”