Icarus and His Sun

Regulus didn't want to leave Hogwarts over the break, but he knew if he stayed his mother would have his head. She would certainly find a way to apparate directly to Hogwarts and drag him by the hair all the way back to Grimmauld, so there was really no point in prolonging the inevitable.

When the time came for them to depart, Regulus boarded the train along with his brother and the other boys of Gryffindor.

Sirius grew more quiet the farther they got from the school. The others picked up on it quickly, trying their best to keep the mood light and hopeful. All suggestions of exploding snap and gobstones were struck down, however, until the five boys ended up sitting in silence for the remainder of the ride.

Regulus felt it was a bit unfair for him to act like this.

It wasn't like he wanted to go home any more than Sirius. And he made it seem as if he wouldn't have Regulus there to stick it out with him. If they had to suffer at least they'd suffer together.

But of course Sirius didn't see it that way.

Platform 9 and 3/4 is more hectic than he had expected. If he thought seeing parents say goodbye was emotional, seeing them say hello again was an entirely new story. Everywhere he turns, there's another happy mother or father enveloping their child in a bone breaking hug.

James Potter is the first in their group off the train. He rushes forward and is quickly swept off his feet by a woman wearing a scarf that covers her hair.

Regulus watches and pretends like he isn't jealous.

In place of Walburga and Orion is Kreacher, waiting patiently for the two boys. Regulus greets him kindly and gets a respectful bow in return. He takes hold of the house elf, Sirius on the other side, and before he knows it his feet are floating away from the train platform and slamming back down on the pavement in front of number 12 Grimmauld Place.

They enter the house and are met with silence. No one is waiting on the steps to greet them excitedly. No one rushes forward to hug Regulus and ask him about what school is like. No one is there to appreciate that he's back.

"Mistress waits for the young Masters in the drawing room", Kreacher slurs.

Regulus lets Theodore down from his arms to take off his cloak. He finds his hands shake slightly as he unfastens it, and he resists the urge to bring his fingers up to his mouth. They enter the drawing room single file, Sirius leading the way. Walburga stands in front of the lit fireplace and refuses to face them when they enter.

The three soak in the quiet for a full minute before Sirius decides he's had enough.

"You sent for us, Mother?"

The fire crackles from inside the hearth, orange flames bright and wild. Walburga turns slowly, sending a chill down Regulus's spine.

She lifts a glass of whiskey to her lips, finishing it off in one go. Her cold grey eyes are locked on the two boys. Regulus blinks hard, wishing he had had the guts to stay at Hogwarts for these two weeks.

She raises her free hand, motioning forward. "Come here."

Sirius steps up.

"Not you," she spits, narrowing her eyes at the boy. He hesitates, then quickly glances back at his brother.

Regulus's eyes go wide with panic for one second, an involuntary reaction. He swallows, straightening up as he crosses the room.

He can't help thinking that this isn't how it's supposed to happen. Usually Walburga calls Sirius to the stand, or Sirius willingly advocates for the both of them. Regulus has never had to stand up for himself before. He doesn't know what to do, and he can't very well turn around and ask Sirius for help. He doesn't like this at all.

Regulus stops in front of his mother, feeling incredibly exposed and vulnerable.

Walburga stares down at him, both disgusted and intrigued.

"Should I have any reason to believe that you've disobeyed me?"

Her voice is thick, reassuring both of her sons that she was already several drinks deep. Regulus wavers, then shakes his head slightly.

"No, Mother." He can barely hear himself.

Walburga gives a twisted frown, humming a noise of discontent. She tilts her head lower and something dark passes over her eyes.

No, Regulus thinks. No, no, no, no. Please.

He feels a slight pressure at the front of his mind, pushing forward through an invisible wall. He does his best to push back, imaging he's throwing all of his body weight against the wall to lock it out.

Don't think of Sirius. Think of anything but Sirius.

Well, he’s already thinking of Sirius. That just won’t do, will it?

He keeps pushing, but it's no use. The wall is too big and Regulus is too small. Eventually, Walburga makes her way through.

He switches tactics. Rather than try and block her out entirely, he throws a blanket over everything she can't see. His consciousness acts as a guard, a barricade between his mother and brother.

She can’t see Sirius because Sirius is hiding, Regulus is covering him.

She can’t see Sirius because Sirius isn’t there.

Sirius isn’t there.

The sound of James Potter's laughter fills his ears. He opens his eyes, unaware he had them closed in the first place, and suddenly he's on the train again for the very first time. Only now it's different.

Not only is he floating outside of himself, the image before him has been altered. It's hazy, almost like he's watching through a fogged up window. He looks behind where his body stands and sees that the space is empty. Sirius is gone.

His eyes are magic!

The sounds he hears are faded in the distance, much farther than they were when he experienced them. Regulus watches his own face shift into a distasteful look, though he never hears the response he knows he gave at that time. He doesn't have time to fully process that before he feels himself being dragged backwards. He feels a range of emotions and thoughts surge through him, and he has to bring his hands up to his head to steady himself.

When he opens his eyes again he's outside the castle, and a new voice echoes around him.

Don't toy with me, Baby Black. Whatever happens, I'll make sure it gets back to your mum.

He feels himself get angry at Snape's words, wanting to turn around and smack him. Before he gets the chance he's being yanked around again, more words and feelings crowding his senses.

It takes a moment to gather himself before he realizes where he is this time.

If Andromeda were here, I surely hope you would show me the same kindness.

Panic fills him again. He watches as Narcissa takes his shoulders, moving him to face his brother.

No, no, no. Damn it.

He let his guard down. The anger he felt towards Snape on top of the overwhelming feeling of having his mind picked through was too much, and he forgot his mantra.

Go. I'll wait here.

He can't stop it, can't pull his own mind away from the memory. She's too strong.

He watches himself hug Sirius, smile at him, talk to him. He knows Walburga sees it too. It's too late.

He feels himself get dragged back again, everything that he's already seen and heard and experienced trying to come forward. Suddenly he feels his feet hit solid ground and his eyes shoot open.

He takes a step back, gasping for breath.

She had never looked through multiple memories at a time before. Regulus feels as if a part of him has been violated, used without his permission. It's work to keep the tears from falling.

"Pathetic," Walburga hisses, grabbing her son by the hair. She throws him to the side as if he were nothing but a piece of rubbish.

Regulus collapses to the floor, landing hard on his forearms. He hears someone yell and rush forward, and then there's a smack and the sound of another body hitting the floor.

"Don't! Do you understand me? Don't you dare go to him!"

Regulus lifts himself up to look at what's going on.

Sirius is on the ground in front of him, glaring at their mother like his life depends on it. Walburga stands tall with an enraged aura exuding her.

"If he can't follow directions then maybe you will," she threatens. "Stay away from your brother. Or I'll be forced to take matters into my own hands and trust me, you do not want that."

She lets her message settle in and then she's exiting the room, door slamming behind her.

Regulus looks to his brother for help, only to find anger and disappointment riddling his face. He shakes his head at Regulus.

"You can't let that happen again," he grits out. "You need to learn to block her from your mind. She'll only use it against us."

Regulus let's out a tired sigh, trying desperately not to cry.

He had tried. Didn't Sirius see that?