“I’m tired .”
“If you want your head , keep walking Granger .“
“What do you need me to do ? Carry you all the way?” Malfoy asked .
Hermione stopped in her tracks .
“Sure” , she said .
“Sure, Granger , Sure !” he looked positively livid , walking up to her , spit flying hither .
Hermione lifted both her arms like a little kid , her satchel swaying .
Malfoy looked like she had asked him both his kidneys and the spleen . He gave her a disgusted look . And one of the lungs .
She put her hands on his shoulders . He ducked his head & twisted his neck , trying to get his face as far away from hers as possible .
He won’t meet her eye which she thought was extremely childish of him .
She held his chin with one hand , digging her fingers into his cheeks “Look Malfoy , you would do well to remember I saved your ass back there , and if you hadn’t pulled me aside as a human shield in one of your stupid pure-blooded kitty-party cockfights , I would have been with Harry & Ron this night , not roaming the forests in the immediate vicinity of your deranged estate here with you ! “
He turned to stare at her now like he couldn’t believe they were having this conversation .
She jut her chin up .
He sighed .
He took off her satchel & slung it over himself . Then , with one big swoop , put one hand under her knees & the other around her shoulders & lifted her up .
“That was a bloody dementor Granger . Who else in the room besides you , do you think could have cast a Patronus like that ?” he muttered , sulking under her weight.
He started walking deeper into the woods .
Hermione swallowed her pride and tried to hold back her tears . She didn’t want to be with him . She didn’t want to have to ask him to lift her up , didn’t want his touch any more than he wanted hers . But she wanted to be alive . And casting spell after spell had drained her of every last reserve of energy . Her satchel was a hollow bottom .
And she had to get back to Harry and Ron .
He kept walking , twigs crunching under his feet .
He didn’t say anything after that , she didn’t know how long they kept at it .The not-talking . The canopy had gotten so thick you couldn’t see an inch of the sky from there . And the forest was abound with faint chirpings . A fog was building up . And his breathing grew more labored . It was getting cold , her hair had gone damp . They would be very frizzy tomorrow .
Where would she *be* tomorrow ?
They reached a clearing in the woods .
At last Malfoy gave way , his steps were slower , then slightly staggered , and eventually he just collapsed onto his knees , taking her down with him .
She shut her eyes & braced herself for the fall but it never came , and she realized Malfoy was holding her very tightly . He was looking at her expectantly .
Her eyes widened . She stood up , extricating herself from his grip .
“No , we can’t stay here . This is still your estate . We need to get past the wards to Apparate .“
“Granger , I can’t anymore . “
“We have to .”
“Granger...”
“No Malfoy , I can carry you now , get up , we have to go now .“ Hermione looked down at him .
“Granger , it’s more miles from here than you can count . In Every Direction. “
“No .”
“Granger , I am a Malfoy , remember , the wards can’t harm me . “
“ But they can harm *me* . They *are* . I can feel it . They are searching through it for me . You are not the only Malfoy on these grounds .“
“Merlin , Granger stop crying now . “
“I am not going to die after going through all that ! Do you understand me Malfoy ? I have to find Harry and Ron ! “She pointed back to where they came from .
“Granger ,” he said , tying the lace of one of her shoes together into a quilted knot . She hadn’t noticed it had come undone .
“I *have* *to* .” she heaved a sob . He finally stood up , right in her space . She stumbled back a few steps.
“Granger ,” he called out again .
She rubbed the balls of her hands into her eyes .
“Look at me .”
“No” she said between her fingers .
He covered the distance between them . Picked her up again .
Hermione had stopped crying . She had stopped with anything now . Her head was throbbing . She looked to Malfoy , but he came out blurred . She tried to touch his hair to find out which double vision was real but her hand faltered before her eyes . She couldn’t make out what profanities Malfoy was uttering anymore . She didn’t want to talk to him . She wanted a tomorrow .
---
There was a tomorrow . And it shone bright as she opened her eyes .
There were tiny mushrooms growing on the grass . She was cradled beside a postbox . Her neck was cramped from whatever position she had adopted in her sleep . She hugged it . She propped herself up a little to see over the hedge . There were cars on the driveway , people on their way to work . A school bus . There was a highway visible in the distance .
She wiped the drool from her mouth and looked around .
It was a muggle colony . She was in somebody’s garden .
And where was Malfoy ?
She went out into the streets and started walking . There was a park at the end of the street . Malfoy was sitting at the end of a slide , his expression pensive . He was deep in thought . A kid was yelling at him from the top of the slide to get off .
Hermione couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all .
He looked up .
The laugh died right there on her lips . He got up and walked towards her . He looked so out of place in his bellowing black robes . Almost like a figurine , not real , of this world . Not someone who was fighting to make it alive out of a war . Not someone who was alive but from a hair’s width .
In that clear sunlight , she realized he wasn’t very strongly built . His shoulders sagged a little even as he tried to pull them upright . His hair had gotten a dirty blond that reminded her of Luna . They weren’t slicked back like when they were kids . His robes were thick and frayed . Up close , he wasn’t even sharp and pointy . Like all his corners had molded . Bowed down by winds neither of them could control . He hadn’t gotten gaunt like Ron had . But he wasn’t wearing a bloody horcrux like Ron had either . Maybe he’d like to differ .
“Granger, “
“Draco . Do you even know my first name ?” She didn’t have the heart to call him Malfoy anymore. It was almost always said in spite until now .
“ Does it start with a ‘Deceased Little Miss Something ? “ he tried to joke but his voice cracked .
“I was not sure about all that last night .”
“Are you sure today ? “
“No .”
“Are you sure right now ?”
“Is that a threat ? “
“Yes Granger I would drag you around from hell , just so I could kill you on a bloody Tuesday in Kingsbridge of all places .“
She looked around , she *had* known where the park would be .“ How did you know about Kingsbridge ? “
“Isn’t that the place you used to live in as a kid ? “
“How on earth do you know that ? “
“ You told me ? “
“ When ? “
“Last night . You were *so* far gone Granger .” He laughed . She had never seen him laugh in a long time . “ Kept talking *for hours* ... Wouldn’t stop even when I told you to shut up .You...” He hesitated , “You told me about yourself . Where you lived . What school you went to in Fifth grade . Your kindergarten *crush* . I hadn’t thought about you being a kid in a while. There were obviously a lot of terms I couldn’t understand , so a lot of it went over my head . But it kept me going . So I started talking back . You told me how proud Potter was when you punched me in the face in Third Year . You told me about the troll incident . And *I* was there too Granger , in your little life . I was calling you names , walking around like magic was something you could put to a name . Told me that you sucked at muggle school . How many people know about that about you huh ? How many would have believed it ? Told me you liked the Pepper-Up Potion even when you didn’t have a cold but Pomfrey won’t give you extra , and you couldn’t make it properly and I wished I , I could make it for you . How much you hated flying . I never noticed that in school . “
“And ?” , Hermione asked in a small voice . She had gotten red completely. She was an extremely active talker when she was sleepy .
“You told me about S.P.E.W. “
“I am gonna be sick .” because he seemed like the last person to waste that breath on .
“Not more than me “
“What’s wrong ?”
He smiled and shook his head . “ Don’t you get it Granger ? You gave me all these little bits of yourself and I don’t know what to do with them . I have never had anyone talk to me like that before . You haven’t lived my life , I can’t explain it to you , even *talking* is like fencing . “
“Did I...? “
“ Yes you won the last place in the fencing camp last summer . I even know your middle name is Jean ? How the fuck do I live with that now Granger ? “
“Draco , “ he flinched . “ How has your life been ? “
“ I don’t know . “he looked genuinely lost .
“ What do you mean you don’t know ?” he tried to search for something .
“ It means what it means , Granger . It’s obviously worse now , but doesn’t feel like it . I could play the parts I was given very well earlier and I liked it . It fit . Now , I hate it. But I can *still work* . I don’t particularly mind what happens to me . It’s okay if nothing fits , I have had a good run . “
She held his face in both hands . It was much easier than doing it with Ron because Malfoy was nearly her height . He put his hands over hers trying to bring them down .
His hands slid down to her wrists & he put them behind his back . her satchel hung between them and his head dropped on her shoulder . “I thought I could carry you for hours more if you could keep talking to me like that . Anywhere you wanted . You have no idea what you did to me last night .”
He braced himself to look up . He cradled her face between his sweaty hands .
He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead , to the corner where her mane began .
Her heart lurched . It was a little wet where he did but she didn’t want to rub it away . Usually it would have given her a tick .
She ignored that and pulled him into a hug .
To her surprise , he wasn’t reluctant at all . He leaned in to her like he wanted to . His muscles went a little limp . “ Feels nice here , Draco .“ she said putting her chin over his shoulder . She didn’t know what else to say .
He put his arms around her back .
The kid was running in circles sliding up and down , it was maddening .
She lifted him up to his tiptoes .