home, but not home
june 7th, 1980
the last day of school had arrived — finally, as some would say — others weren’t as happy. it would be weird to return to home soon, even though this place was more a home than his actual one ever was.
Regulus sighed, packing the last of his belongings into his trunk. his trunk was over full this year, since he would usually leave most of his stuff here. now it was time to take all of it back to the house that was now fully his.
maybe he would move out, give the house to Bella or whatever, since she would probably be complaining about it as soon as he even mentioned leaving.
maybe he’d buy some small house — a home — close to the sea. a place where he could feel like himself. maybe he’d get a cat, just maybe.
Kreacher was the only one in the old house, and it had been like that for ages. obviously Regulus would take him with him if he were to leave.
“have you seen my—” Evan started, “oh there it is, never mind.” he grabbed a purple sock out of his bed drawer — having to slam it in order to close. the drawer had been broken since their second year (an incident with things muggles called fireworks?) and he had never bothered to fix it.
Barty was fighting with a book that was trying to bite his fingers off, all while Regulus was peacefully laying on his bed. he was neat enough to keep his part of the room fairly organized throughout the entire year so, unlike the other boys, he had only spend about twenty minutes packing.
“if you’re not gonna be doing anything,” Barty said, hands on his hips as if he were an angry mum. “you might as well help me.”
“or me!” Evan yelled from — well, somewhere.
Regulus smirked, not looking up from his book. “no, its your responsibility; you should have thought of it earlier.”
“useless, that one.”
the last moments at school were rather strange, it felt weird. everyone sort of went off on their own, going to their favorite places for the last time — which felt even weirder to say.
Regulus first went to the black lake, where he sat for a bit, just sitting and thinking;
he was not ready to go ‘home’, not at all. maybe he’d visit the Potters, but he also didn’t want to be a burden to them.
it was a lovely day, the sun was shining through the branches of the tall trees standing near the water. Regulus sat there in silence for a while — until someone sat down next to him; Emilia.
“hi.” she said cheerily, throwing her bag down next to her. “you look sad.”
Regulus glared at her, to which she just raised her brows, and started filing her fingernails.
“why are you spending your last day here alone? i saw those mates of yours up in the—”
“astronomy tower.” he finished her sentence, face still expressionless as ever. “yes i know, they’re always out there.”
“m’kay.”
Emilia adjusted herself, wiping the dirt off her jeans. she looked, happy? but more happy than she usually did?
“whats going on with you? — you’re all happy.” Regulus started, as he laid down on the wet grass. “happier than usual.”
suddenly her cheeks turned red, as if she were a child being caught doing something she shouldn’t have. she laid down next to him.
“you know Sybill, right?” that caught Regulus’s attention — who shot straight up; brows arced in curiosity. “she kissed me!”
Regulus gasped, hitting her shoulder as she laughed, covering her face. after some time he burst out in quiet laughter as well — strange as it was.
“was it good?” he asked, after the laughter had died down a bit. she responded with merely a giggle.
Emilia had walked him back to the castle for brunch: the end of the year brunch he usually never attended. he’d do it for the good order this year, just to show up for the last time.
the brunch was in a big buffet form — the Hufflepuff table had been turned into the food table, which was more than the table could carry. seeing as the table was clearly suffering from the heavy weight of all the plates resting on it.
Regulus sat down next to Evan, who immediately poured him some tea.
“thanks,” Regulus muttered, taking a sip. “Emilia said she saw you guys in the tower—” he shared a knowing look with Barty, that told him to shut up.
“we also saw you guys, from up there, hell — we heard you guys laugh.” Evan laughed. “since when is she your girlfriend?”
“no! no! absolutely not!” Regulus spit out his tea. “i don’t like her, she doesn’t like me!”
Barty grinned, smiling at Evan from across the table.
“relax mate, we know,” Barty grabbed his heart dramatically, holding his other arm out for Evan to grab. “we’re just … its emotional to see that we’re being swapped in for some girl.”
Regulus snickered and gave him the finger. the rest of the brunch was calm; the school choir preformed and Dumbledore held some special speech. something about staying strong in tough times — Regulus had a feeling the headmaster had held that speech multiple times before.
he didn’t know what to do after the brunch. usually he would always be able to come up with something to do, like homework or literally anything else. today it was different. he knew he wasn't the only last year student who felt like that, seeing as most of them were just sitting in random places with their friends.
the train would leave in maybe three hours from now — at two. Regulus figured he’d clean their dorm a bit, it would enlighten the elves and what else was he going to do, anyways?
the cleaning itself was strangely therapeutic; he cleaned the windows, made their beds, cleaned out their drawers, sorted the rest of their belongings, and wrote a note for the elves. which thanked them for keeping their room nice and clean for seven years straight.
by the time he was done, the clock had hit one — leaving him with nothing else to do but to leave.
it felt weird to leave their room behind like that. their room that had been their, but especially his, true home for the past seven years. Regulus had never looked forward to this day, but this year it seemed to hit even harder than usually.
considering that tonight he would be at the house again, it was probably the least excited he’d ever been for returning to London. not that he’d ever been particularly excited, but this was a peak, for sure.
at least he’d have those hours on the train, right?
the train was packed. for a minute Regulus was afraid they wouldn’t even be able to sit down for the entire journey. that was until Barty stormed into their usual cabin — which was stuffed with first year’s — who he then managed to scare away. Regulus grinned, seeing Evan quickly run by the kids who had put it on a running just now, apologizing to them. he walked into their newly reclaimed cabin, which smelled of candy.
“we’ll never come back now,” Barty said, looking out the window longingly. “well — not unless we’d kidnap someone, or something like that. this would make an excellent place—”
“and you would be the only person ever to succeed in doing that.”
“sure thing,” he spoke with pride. “i’m not sure i’ve left a legacy big enough. might need to come back with some cool act.”
“i’ll come with you, just to make sure you don’t die doing something ridiculously stupid.” Regulus grinned, as Barty poked his tongue out. “we’ll take Evan too, just to keep us laughing. we’d be depressed without him, let’s face it.”
“oh absolutely, glad to hear it from you guys once in a while!” Evan entered the cabin, closing the door behind him and sitting down next to Regulus. “what are we discussing?”
“our legacy.”
after quite some hours, they were back in London. as the train came to a still, it was when Regulus actually realized that this was it. this were the last ever moments being a student. never would he be back on that train again, never would he buy candy from the trolly.
never would he be at home again.
the boys grabbed their belongings, and for a second, the thought of just hiding in the train crossed his mind. if he just stayed there forever, and made himself so tiny people wouldn’t be able to see him. what would they do?
Evan had already left their cabin, running like a seven year old towards his mother, who welcomed him with open arms. surely his mother had offered Regulus to stay multiple times, but he had never wanted to be a burden.
Barty dropped his luggage and sat himself on the seat again.
“i don’t wanna go back.” he muttered after a while.
Regulus sat down next to him.
“me neither.”
Regulus had called a Taxi, he didn’t feel like apparating. he just wanted to feel normal again. maybe living like a muggle for a bit would do him good.
he handed the driver fifteen pounds — some of the muggle money that was standardly in his muggle coat — as he stepped out of the car, grabbing his trunk.
Regulus opened the door. but instead of being met with a home, he was met with something that was just, a house.