Barty, Evan and Regulus; the biggest dumbasses in school
January 30th, 1980
Regulus still hadn’t heard back from Peter, yes, it did concern him, but he couldn’t do anything about it anymore.
he had, however, heard from Pandora in the meantime, who was, according to her letter, doing great.
“why does this school give us the same goddamn dinner every, single, night.” Evan groaned as he took another bite of his mashed potatoes.
“on Merlin! at least give us some variation once in a while, you know?” Barty drank his pumpkin juice away the instant his cup filled itself again.
Regulus groaned as well and took a bite from the dull colored beans on his plate.
“the fact that the elves in the kitchens are great kooks as well!” he said. “as long as you treat them properly, of course.”
“they’re… house elves.” Evan faltered, Regulus just rolled his eyes.
“yeah, so? they’re still capable of feeling things, there’s no reason we should treat them like dirt.” Regulus continued eating his meal without saying anything else about the house elves thing.
“can’t believe Mcgonnagal is setting us up with even more exams, it’s so dumb!”
“i know, pretty much convinced she hates us or something.” Regulus laughed out, “blaming my brother’s behavior for that.” it was sarcasm, obviously, but the others didn’t seem to notice.
they ate the rest of dinner while joking around a bit, Barty complained about how his bag had given up that same morning, Evan confronted him with the fact that it was his own fault. Regulus decided to stay out of it, for his own good. even though it really was Barty’s own fault.
the night was very uneventful, like most, in all honesty. the boys took a walk around the grounds. Barty tried messing with the giant squid, which had gone barely right; he tried getting it to the surface, but the squid had other plans and followed him around with his tentacles. Barty ran away faster than Regulus had ever seen him run, as Evan and Regulus both burst out in laughter.
after that, they got inside just in time for curfew. seeing as they had to calm down Barty first, who was, somehow, still convinced the squid was after him. Evan and Regulus just could not stop laughing.
Regulus had actually wanted to go to the library, but it was, like said before, already curfew. so they just made their way to the dorms quickly.
usually their dorm was pretty neat, Regulus’s orders, mostly. but it had been messy for about a week now, Regulus wanted nothing more than to tidy it up, but he didn’t want to seem like a freak. (even though the boys had seen him freak out about the tidiness of their shared room multiple times)
it did bother him, a lot. but he praised himself for leaving it like this, maybe it would get him over his tidiness obsession, if that was even a thing.
“Godric, the room is messy.” Evan admitted for what must have been the first time ever. Regulus rolled his eyes and sat down on the sofa, swinging his legs on it as well.
“i’m so hungry.” Barty moaned, sitting down next to Regulus, who had already put on some music and summoned his book.
“me too.” Evan said.
“what if,” Regulus proposed, feeling somewhat ‘rebellious’ for once. “what if we sneak into the kitchens, and get some snacks? if we run into any teachers we’ll say that i’m feeling ill or something, and that we wanna get some tea.”
Evan and Barty looked at each other and started laughing, gasping dramatically almost in sync. Regulus rolled his eyes and laughed too.
“someone is feeling rebellious, suddenly.” Regulus elbowed him, then burst out in laughter as well.
“i always am, i’m just not always feeling like getting into trouble for it.” he said, taking the laughter of his face, replacing it with a grin.
“so, today you are ready to get into trouble for it?” Evan teased. Regulus nodded his head and stood up onto the sofa.
“today is my day.”
Regulus really wished he was an animagus sometimes; being able to change into an animal whenever you wanted? that seemed brilliant. Sirius had told him that a big part of the time, your animagus depends on your patronus, (something he had read in a book once, while doing research to become one in their third year) Regulus’s animagus was a cat. a small, thin, black cat. being able to turn into a cat right now, would be perfect.
“fucking hell, Barty.” Evan whispered, as Barty had almost walked into a statue, if it wasn’t for Regulus pulling him away.
“thanks mate.” Barty murmered, as Regulus ignored him, squatting down and running into a corridor.
luckily, the kitchens were also in the dungeons, just a couple of turns and they were there. Regulus pushed the door open, holding it to let Barty and Evan in first, then closing it and walking in himself.
“merlin, it smells good.” Evan admitted, raising his head and sniffing.
“you’re the other mister Black, right, sir?” Regulus heard from his right side, he turned his head down, only to be met with a bright smiling house elf. Regulus squatted down to the elf’s height, shaking its hand.
“yeah i am,” he said. “who are you?” the elf looked at Barty and Evan for a second, who were obviously trying to be as polite as possible.
“Winnie, sir.” the elf — Winnie, said. as she pulled Regulus with her to the big table in the middle of the room, Barty and Evan following and sitting down next to him.
the other elves were immediately setting down plates of delicious looking food in front of them — including chunky cookies, pastries, and all sorts of equally good looking food.
“well thank you!” Regulus said, side eying both boys on his side, who then murmured a ‘thanks’ as well, as they dived into the food. Regulus invited Winnie to take a seat next to him, she politely thanked him and took a seat.
“do you like working here, Winnie?” he asked her, she nodded excitedly.
“of course!” she giggled. “i enjoy being with other elves, and i love cooking!”
Regulus chatted with her for a bit, he saw that Evan and Barty were slowly warming up to the small creatures as well, cautiously joining into a conversation of their own with them.
after what must have been an hour, the boys made their way out of the kitchens again, after thanking the elves for the food first, of course.
“ouch! that was my foot!” Regulus hissed as he ducked again, sprinting towards the other side of the corridor.
“fucking hell, Bla—” Evan said, maybe a bit to loudly.
“Mr. Black! what in Merlin’s name are you doing here?” Professor McGonnagal’s voice shrieked, Regulus almost fell over on an instant.
Regulus turned around and faced her, fake smile plastered on his face. just, act normal.
“oh, hi there, professor!” Evan and Barty were hiding behind a statue of a witch with strangely big feet, as Regulus just realized.
“hello, Mr. Black.” McGonnagal raised an eyebrow. “what are you doing,” she looked at her pocket watch. “on a, now, thursday, at two in the morning, outside of your own common room?”
Regulus looked behind her, literally praying Evan and Barty would get his sign to run away to the common room before McGonnagal would catch on to the fact that he wasn’t the only one out of the common room at this time.
“a sudden urge to go after your brother’s behavior, perhaps?” Regulus tried his best not to laugh.
“oh there you are! so glad we found you!” Barty suddenly yelled, making McGonnagal turn. Regulus could visualize the look on her face without any effort.
“good evening, Mr. Crouch,” she looked at Evan and nodded, still one brow raised. “Mr. Rosier.”
“sorry, Regulus was not feeling so great,” Evan said, Regulus was trying to look convincing. “so we went down to the kitchens to get him some tea, for his uh…”
“stomachache!” Regulus improved, maybe expressing it a bit too excited. he coughed. “very, uh, awful stomachache…” he held his stomach and looked at the floor.
“i don’t believe you boys,” she shook her head. “but i’ll give you the benefit of the doubt this once.” she smiled and clicked her tongue, then looked at Regulus. “as long as you don’t go after your brother, Mr. Black.”
she walked away, then turned once again—
“off to your dorms! now!” a faint smile still on her face, as she walked towards the other direction, as the boys burst into laughter.