bloody dreams
January 2nd, 1980
Regulus groaned as he pushed himself past the other students who were trying to board the train, the train was packed as always.
“Reg!” Barty suddenly yelled from his right side, making him turn to see Barty and Evan ushering him inside their cabin.
“Black! how’s your holiday been?” Evan asked him, grabbing the suitcase from him and putting it on the racks above them.
“thanks,” Regulus said, sitting down, resting his legs on the other half of the couch. “it wasn’t too bad, didn’t do anything, really. how were yours?”
“twas also fine,” Evan said. “mum and dad wanted to visit the Lestrange’s, so we did, i saw Pandora, too.”
“really?” Regulus asked. “how was she?”
“she was good, i miss her lots.” Evan admitted, Regulus nodded.
“ugh why’d she have to be so smart to graduate earlier than us!” Barty laughed.
“you guys realize that this is the last time we’ll ever go to Hogwarts? we’re never gonna take the train back to school again.” Regulus said, leaning his head on the window as they crossed the bridge.
“i didn’t even realize, huh, i guess time really does fly when you’re having fun.” Barty said, as Evan giggled.
“i didn’t know you were capable of that!”
the rest of the ride was fun, they didn’t really do anything in particular, just messed around a bit, but it was a very calm ride, overall. Regulus was pretty sure he even fell asleep at some point.
the arrival at Hogwarts was the same as ever; a big feast, and at night the boys went to their dorm again, Regulus put on one of his new records (a gift from Remus) ‘hunky dory’, it wasn’t the newest album but it had been on his list for a bit.
“i like this,” Evan said. “who is this?” Regulus’s mouth practically dropped open.
“‘*who is this?’*are u fucking Serious?!” he gasped.
“hey! hey! don’t attack me, i don’t listen to your,” Evan tried to carefully form a sentence. “usually weird music. like ‘the cure’, what is that even?” Regulus was for sure offended, didn’t want to let him know, though.
“don’t do The Cure like that, they’re good. this one’s Bowie, you know him, the guy with the cool outfits and stuff.” Evan murmured something in-understandable.
“ooh, that guy! i know him!” Barty yelled from the bed across of Regulus’s. “he’s cool, my dad doesn’t like him much though, calls him an F- word all the time. even though i told him not to,” he shrugged. “it’s rude.”
Regulus opened his trunk and took some of his stuff out of it, spreading his books and music over his side of the room.
“i’ll be taking a shower.” Regulus said, as he grabbed his pyjama’s and made his way into the bathroom, where he took a hot shower and got ready for bed after.
when he came back into the dorm not even an hour and a half later, he was met with Barty and Evan both vast asleep. Regulus sighed and sat by the window, he saw some fish swimming by, some other creatures as well. Regulus had always preferred nights like this; sitting by himself in all peace and quiet, having to think about absolutely nothing at all.
he found it quite strange he hadn’t heard anything from any of the death eaters in weeks, hopefully he didn’t get caught without realizing it; definitely not, he thought to himself. i’d be dead by now if i were caught.
not that that thought was something that made him feel necessarily better, but seeing as he wasn’t dead yet, Regulus thought he was doing a pretty great job so far.
he was bored out of his mind, deciding to write to the people he needed to talk to; he had promised Sirius to write as soon as he had the time, he also wanted to write Pandora, seeing as he missed her presence and then his mind fell on Andromeda. Regulus didn't even know where she was at, since she had been hiding for years, but he was sure the owls could find her. not only that, he felt bad for not writing to her in months.
he started of with Sirius’s, he would send the letters out first thing in the morning.
dearest BD,
he started, they had come up with ‘MRDS’ for marauders and ‘BD’ (standing for black dog, aka, Sirius), incase their post was intercepted.
i arrived at school again, a lot of kids aren’t here, i noticed at the feast. most of the kids missing were Muggleborns, as far as i could see. the entire vibe of the school changed, suddenly it feels like war is actually happening.
i don’t know how busy i’m gonna be with school, so tell Moony all the best from me for the upcoming moon.
all the love,
R.A.B
he folded the letter and put an unreadable charm on it, it was easy to take off but he felt the need to take every bit of security he could get. Regulus grabbed another piece of parchment and dipped his quill in the ink again.
dearest Pandora,
i know it's been a while, and i’m sorry for that, but i felt the need to write to you right now, so, well, yeah.
how have you been? School’s been a dick, but it’ll all be over soon. hopefully your life now you’re out of school has been great, we miss you here. i heard you saw Evan over break, he told me you were great as ever, not that i had expected anything different from you, though.
write back whenever you’re able to, if you want we can meet in Hogsmeade sometime? let me know.
Yours,
Regulus
Regulus also folded up this letter, there was no need for a security charm here, so he just wrote her name on the front and put it on his bedside table, next to Sirius’s.
his quill was almost feeling dry by now, but he had to finish his letters, tomorrow he wouldn’t have any time for it.
dearest Dromeda,
sorry, it’s been ages since i wrote to you last. hopefully you, Dora and Ted are doing alright. i know this is so sudden, but i feel like, Merlin, i don’t know how to even explain this. i’m just in a tough situation right now, it’s way to dangerous and difficult to explain it over letters.
i might find a way to get to talk to you in person, when i’m able to, i’ll let you know beforehand. i just know i need to talk to you, you’re the only one in the family that hasn’t gone totally mental, except for my brother.
i know Dora’s birthday is coming up, so wish her a happy birthday from me.
Hopefully talk to you soon,
Reg
another secrecy charm and the letter was good to go as well.
“Reg? it’s past midnight, why are you up?” Evan groaned from his bed. Regulus did a quick attempt to hide the letters, not that it mattered; knowing Evan, there was about a seventy five percent chance he was half asleep, still.
“nothing, wanted to scam through the books.” Regulus said quickly, lying or finding excuses in the littlest amount of time was his strongest point.
“a fucking nerd is what you are, Black.”
a house.
Regulus entered the house, he didn’t know the house, but he entered it.
a scream. a scream that made the hairs on his neck stand up straight.
Regulus walked through the small hallway, opening the glass doors on the left.
“you shouldn’t be here, Regulus.” his mother said, making him turn around. “it was you all along, wasn’t it?”
she vanished.
Another scream.
Regulus walked into the room, stuff spread around it like there had been an awful burglary.
another scream.
Sirius.
fuck.
SIRIUS.
his brothers pale body lay on the floor, looking like it had been placed there very carefully; like no one was supposed to find it, in the first place.
Regulus fell down to his knees as Sirius’s body started bleeding from all places, his body shaking heavily.
Regulus screamed, his brother’s blood was all over his hands by now.
“i knew you’d find your way back, Regulus.” his father’s voice sounded from behind him, making Regulus turn around, the blood still covering his hands, slowly turning Regulus’s clothes a dark tone of red. he was crying, the tears hurting his head.
“we nee— need to help him!!” he yelled, the tears making him unable to breath and talk properly.
“we don’t. you’re doing a good thing, son. leave him be, he deserves it.”
Regulus screamed. he felt like he was about to throw up all his organs at once. he managed to lift Sirius up by his upper body, leaning the bigger man on himself, the blood now leaving his body like a waterfall.
He could still save Sirius! he was going to be alright.
Sirius’s full weight was on him by now, making it hard for him to breathe, Regulus couldn’t care less.
“Sirius? Sirius?” he shook him carefully, Sirius’s body slumping around like a doll as he did so. “Sirius come on! SIRIUS.”
Sirius’s body suddenly went even paler then before, blood spilling out of his mouth, and the muscle power leaving his body. he was dead. Sirius was dead.
Regulus screamed. again, and again. so hard he lost his voice, and his screams turned into scraping sounds. the tears mixed with Sirius’s blood as they hit his brother’s pale face.
another scream.
please, please, don’t let there be another—
“REGULUS?” Barty was shaking him awake as he gripped the sheets, his entire body was covered in sweat, his breathing still faster than ever.
“Reg, you okay?” Evan asked, taking place on his bed, handing him a glass of water.
“thanks,” Regulus managed to breathe out. “i’m sorry.” he apologized even though he knew there was no reason to.
“you were screaming, your brother’s name… i thought you were dying, or something.”
“it was just another stupid nightmare.” Regulus gulped down the glass of water instantly.
Barty and Evan still looked at him with a certain caution.
“i’m fine! i’ll just go clean myself up.” he murmured, getting out of bed, walking into the shared bathroom.
he locked the door, sliding down in front of it. ‘i thought you were dying.’ Regulus held his head in his hands, he looked at them later, checking for blood, even though he knew how stupid it was.
Regulus just hoped that for once in his life, this dream meant nothing, and that it was just a stupid nightmare. his hopes were terrifyingly low, since most of his dreams were always visions for the future.