The Project

His heart feels like it’s about to jump right out of his chest.

He must be blushing. Is he really blushing? Hopefully not. James brought a hand up to drag through his hair, letting his palm rest on his cheek for a brief second just be sure and... it felt normal enough. So, he's not blushing. Good. It feels like he should be though. Merlin, his heart is racing so fast James is genuinely concerned about the possibility of it exploding.

He cast a brief glance back at the figure following behind him, but not too close behind him he noted. Dark raven hair framed a face with even darker eyes. An eyebrow was arched at him and James realised that he'd been caught peeking, he quickly looked away as he cleared his throat.

"Thanks for this. I uhm... I really appreciate it." He said resisting the urge to look back and see whatever expression the Slytherin was making.

"Exactly where did you say Evans is?"

James wanted to groan and pout and maybe cry at that question.

"Lily needed a break. We both agreed that we'd give each other breaks every now and then." He explained, "Rose is... difficult and well, I didn't want to disturb her."

He heard Snape mumble something too low to hear but he still didn't look back. He didn't have the nerve.

Not because he's lying to Snape, because he's not. James and Lily talked a while ago. The night that Snape showed up and handed them the potions needed for Rose's cold. After they managed to get the baby sleeping and settled in her crib, they had a conversation. No arguing, no screaming and no jokes from James' side.

The conversation was... quite the eye opener for both of them. To this day James didn't really know what to think about the situation. He didn't know what to think about Lily. They've decided to give each other space and time and they both agreed to try and be a little bit more patient with one another.

They’re on a break.

After that conversation things have been going smoother, James isn't entirely sure why. The still have their arguments and hiccups but it isn't as bad as it was before. Maybe it’s because they talked, maybe it’s because they've managed to... temper their expectations of each other. Maybe it’s because James has stopped expecting Lily to be something that, he now realises, she's not. Maybe Lily has stopped expecting James to turn into something she now realises he'll never be.

Those were unpleasant thoughts. They weren't worth thinking about. James and Lily haven't broken up. No of course not. They're just giving each other space. Giving each other more time and being more patient with each other. That's all.

Lily needed a break and so it was James' turn to watch Rosalie for the afternoon. It didn't seem like the best idea, especially not since the assignment is going to be over in the next few days. It would have been better if they were both present for these last two days but...

James is giving her space and Lily is being more patient. So he's watching Rose alone today.

It would seem that their would be daughter was a bit more calm that morning. James had nothing to do. Remus has been completely absorbed with Abigail and Narcissa and Sirius was... Sirius was occupied with Alexander and Snape.

Rose was peacefully sleeping in her room, so James decided to finally crack open that book his mother sent him and have a look at the potions inside.

After finding out about the Mugglestudies assignment, Euphemia sent James a book full of potions that might help him with the project. Potions for expecting mothers and their babies. She wrote to say that she used the potions during and after her pregnancy with him, she said they'd be useful. James gave the book to Lily. Firstly, because he does not do well with potions - much to his parents continued disappointment - and secondly because... well,

She's supposed to be the mother of his supposed baby, right? Why shouldn't he have given it to her?

That was the cause of their first fight when the assignment began. Why James was giving Lily the book and not attempting to brew the potions himself. They went back and forth for what felt like hours before James just threw the book in a kitchen drawer and they never spoke of it again. That afternoon when he was puttering around the quarters looking for something to do, he found the book and decided to try and keep himself occupied.

It occurred to him that they probably wouldn't have needed Snape's potions, if he'd just opened the stupid thing and tried brewing one of these homemade remedies instead. But there's no use crying over spilt milk.

James opened the book and decided to try one of the potions his mother wrote down for them. He decided to go for the easiest one. A salve for diaper rashes. Rose has gotten through her diaper phase - thank Merlin - so they don't need that, but it was the easiest potion to brew so he decided to give it a try.

It actually turned out pretty good. The same went for the teething potion and the colic potion.

Emboldened, James decided to try one of the more difficult potions in the book.

The flu potion.

Rose wasn't sick, at that moment, but he wanted to try and see if he could make something even close to what Snape gave them a while back.

With the blue vial that the Slytherin gave them on the table as an example, James got to work and things were going great at first. Until something went wrong and the cauldron he was using in the quarters exploded. Smoke filled the room and James quickly grabbed Rose before taking her from the quarters. Just as he did, a smoke clearing spell swept all around them and caused the dark clouds to dissipate. James coughed and wheezed in the fresh air, only to freeze when he saw Snape standing a few feet away with a wand in his hand and a slight frown on his lips.

Now, he's leading the Slytherin back to room number one. Why?

Because, somehow, he managed to convince the raven to help him with the potions he was brewing.

Alright, so why did he even ask for the Slytherin's help?

Probably for the same reason he got Snape to go flying with him the day before.

Snape was following close behind, James' heart felt like it was about to jump right out through his throat. He swallowed hard just as they stepped into the quarters and held the door open for the raven. Snape's eyes narrowed slightly but otherwise he didn't say a word as he stepped inside and then away from the Gryffindor.

"Where is Rose?"

"Afternoon nap." James said offering the other a smile that he did not return. "She's a bit sickly so, we like to have her rest as often as possible. She was out like a light after I gave her lunch."

Snape simply listened as James spoke, eyes fluttering around the quarters, not like he was looking for something, more like he was just taking it in. And then those dark eyes landed on James who was staring at the raven like an idiot.

Snape frowned.

"The book, Potter."

James blinked and this time he could feel his face flush, "Right." He went over to the kitchen table and snatched up the leather-bound book before handing it to the raven. "Here."

Said raven hesitated before he actually reached out to take it. Another frown but his gaze quickly moved back down to the book in his hands just as he opened it. James felt awkward just standing there so he went to lean back against the table. He caught Snape watching him as he did before his eyes went back to the book. Of course Snape doesn't trust him, he has no reason to. The action still had James fighting off the urge to pout like an infant.

"You were trying the flu potion?"

"Yeah." James said as he watched the raven page through the book, pausing every now and then to read something. Those dark eyes brightening for a split second before he just went on to the next page. There's probably a lot he finds interesting in there. Snape has the best potions marks in school. Godric knows Euphemia and Fleamont would be thrilled if James' marks even resembled Snape's. It would certainly help the Potter heir better fulfil his duties concerning the potions business they have. A stray thought entered his mind just then. The thought that Snape and his parents would probably have tons to talk about if they ever met for whatever reason-

"The ingredients are different... It exploded... black smoke." Snape muttered before looking up at James, "You made sure to use only one drop of dragon's blood."

"Yeah."

"What kind?"

"What?"

"What kind of dragon's blood did you use?"

"Uhm," James turned back to the table where he still had the ingredients to pick up the bottle and read, "Chinese Fireball."

"Chine-" Snape took in a deep breath before looking down to read, "You were supposed to use the blood from a Romanian Longhorn."

"Oh," James paused, "Mum didn't write that down."

"She shouldn't have had to. Certain ingredients harvested from the Chinese Fireball are highly flammable and should be used under the strictest caution in the barest amounts." Snape huffed and for a moment James felt embarrassed at his lack of knowledge. "Do you have Romanian Longhorn blood?"

James looked back, "Uh, yeah. Yeah I do."

For some reason Snape glared, "Of course you do." He muttered and then shut the book, "Use that instead." and then he turned to head for the door.

James' eyes went wide, "Wait! I still need your help brewing-"

"Potter-"

"C’mon, Snape. Just help me with this and... You can leave and I won't bother you."

Snape stared at him in silence for eight whole seconds. If James' heart was close to exploding before-

"Fine."

He said and James let out a heavy sigh of relief.

"Thank you."

"But I won't do this for you, I'll get you started and you'll finish the rest." The Slytherin walked around him to the kitchen table, pausing to look over the ingredients scattered over the wooden top before rolling up the sleeves of his shirt to get started. There's a rubber band around his wrist. James looked over towards the short hallway leading to the bedrooms. Rose isn't up yet, if she was he'd know. She'd either come looking for him and Lily or she'd be crying because she isn't feeling well.

Rose was... difficult. She got sick easily. It was hard trying to figure out what to do and how to do it with her sometimes. But she was still an adorable little thing, she looked like Lily but with James' eyes. It had been the biggest shock seeing her for the first time but after the shock passed, he realised that she was perfect. Lily...

It took some time for Lily to be comfortable around Rosalie but, they're doing alright.

"If you need to check on her-"

"No. It's alright. She needs the rest." James said as he looked back to the Slytherin who was organising the items on the table, "I'd like to get this sorted before she gets up."

Snape glanced up at him before simply looking away again.

"So, Sirius said things are going well with Alexander, right?"

"Yes."

"I'm a bit surprised that Sirius decided to pitch in, he said he didn't want to."

"Your guess for why, is as good as mine." Snape said distractedly, frowning at the knife that James had set on the table before picking it up and dumping it in the sink. "Where do you keep your knives?"

"In the drawer to your left." James answered, nodding to the drawer just behind the Slytherin. Snape turned back and opened it. He watched as the Slytherin took out each one, tilting the blades to look at in the light as he tried to make some sort of decision. The gleam of each one flashing and reflecting off of his eyes before he finally chose a small paring knife and set it on the table. James swallowed hard.

And then he reached up to sweep his hair back to tie it up, exposing that long stretch of pale skin-

"My mother sent me that book when the assignment started." James said quickly as he forced himself to look down at the table, "I felt bad I never got around to using it."

Snape glanced up at him before simply looking away again.

"We have a specialised potions brewery, make orders for St Mungos and the ministry, plenty of other hospitals all over Europe. Special and rare potions. It’s been in the family for years. Dad says we used to brew elixirs for royalty." James felt himself blush. Is he bragging? It feels like he's bragging. But he isn't. He's just making conversation and... Snape is interested in potions right so, this is the perfect topic isn't it? It’s not like he's trying to impress Snape, it doesn't seem like he's trying to impress Snape, right?

James looked up at the Slytherin who was already slicing away at the valerian root before setting it aside to reach for something else. Is he even paying attention?

"The book Mum sent me has a few of the family brews in it. Potions passed down the bloodline. I'm supposed to inherit them after my Dad but Mum thought it was a good time for it, you know, with the assignment and everything. They want me to take over the potions business after I graduate, among other things." Alright now he's definitely bragging, about the brewery of all things. The one business he doesn't want to deal with once he becomes heir-

"Fascinating." Snape drawled out with a roll of his eyes and James let out a silent sigh. Forget impressing him, James'll be lucky if the Slytherin decides to actually listen to anything that he says.

Difficult git.

But Snape's always been difficult. From the moment they met Snape never did what James wanted him to do. He never did what James expected.

Even with this assignment Snape didn't behave the way James expected him to. He expected the Slytherin to fail, even more so since Padfoot was setup as his partner. Sirius had been furious, he wasn't all that thrilled with the project to begin with but being paired up with Snape seemed to make it all so much worse.

James wasn't surprised when he found out that Sirius wasn't going to be going anywhere near the Slytherin for the summer let alone helping him. Though, he did find it somewhat abhorrent that Sirius would abandon his child and leave it at the mercy of Snape… none of it was supposed to be real. And if Padfoot wanted to spare himself the torture of working with the greasy haired git - even if it meant potentially failing the assignment - then who was James to judge?

You only need an Acceptable in Mugglestudies to qualify for Auror training anyway. Sirius could manage that without the marks for this project. Merlin knows that if James had been paired with Snape, he wouldn't know what to do with himself.

Would he leave like Sirius did?

James frowned for a moment in thought.

No, he'd stay. Maybe even because before all of this started, he wouldn't have trusted Snivellus alone with a child. Real or not.

He would have stayed. And then what?

James has no idea.

He looked up at the raven who seemed to be completely ignoring him and kept preparing potions ingredients. A few stray hairs fell from the pony that he put it in and brushed along his cheek, he seemed to ignore that completely as well. Eyes trained on the petals of the flower that he was carefully dicing and nothing else. Onyx black intense and focused, the gleam of the blade he used reflecting in them every now and then.

Bloody hell.

James shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he thought about that moment when he stumbled on Snape in the first week.

He had no idea where Sirius and Snape's room was supposed to be. He hadn't cared at the time, since he knew Sirius was sleeping in the dorms and was nowhere near the Hufflepuff quarters.

Lily had been... snippy all week. First it was because of the morning sickness, then the pains and aches were irritating her and then suddenly it seemed as if James was working on her nerves as well. He had no idea what he was doing wrong but apparently it was driving Lily mad.

As a peace offering, he opted to go and collect their dinner from the Great Hall. Lily stayed in the quarters since she needed to rest and he was more than happy to get a little breather.

He took his time, still trying to figure out what he did to get Lily annoyed this time only to stop when he caught the most amazing smell drifting through the air.

Meat and spices and potatoes? Something hearty and warm with the slightest edge of sweetness and James' stomach immediately growled.

Most of the hallway was quiet. With dinner nearing it would make sense if most of the students had headed down to the Great Hall already. He followed the smell and... the sounds. The lid of a pot clacking as it was set down, the clutter if some sort of cutlery against a plate?

He was led all the way to door number eight. The Gryffindor paused wondering who it might be. Of course, Waltz encouraged them to cook for themselves, but she also made it clear that it wasn't a requirement and would in no way affect their marks if they didn't.

James brought it up one night, while he was preparing with Lily. He hadn't meant anything by. But ever since Waltz announced their project, all those fantasies of domestic bliss that he'd always imagined for him and Lily seemed so much closer to reality that he ended up babbling about it for a bit.

He said it like he was joking. Like he was only teasing her. He spoke about coming home to his beautiful wife and child and a homecooked meal. Lily laughed right in his face.

It’s the first time he'd ever managed to make her laugh that hard. Pretty skin flushed and red hair seemed to glimmer like fire in the light in the common rooms and emerald eyes were beaming. It made for such a pretty sight that he almost didn't catch it. He laughed along but the laughter died down quickly enough and his smile became strained.

"C'mon, it’s not that funny."

He said his throat suddenly feeling oddly tight as she just scoffed and kept making notes on the parchment before her. Lily shook her head.

"Well then, Merlin bless this house. Honestly, I've never really seen myself as much of a Jean."

James frowned, "What?"

Lily looked at him and rolled her eyes, "Nothing. There's no reason to cook or do any of that. Professor Waltz said it wasn't necessary."

"I mean, yeah, I know that. I just-"

"Decided that now is the time to act like an old man?" She scoffed, "It'll be fine."

She kept making notes, James frowned slightly as he looked over and realised that she was writing out spells. It looked like charms homework.

"What're you doing?"

She shrugged, "I thought I'd get a head start on next term."

"But... what about the assignment?"

"We've already planned out what we're going to do, haven't we? I'm going to be the bearer and we'll take care of it together." There was something biting in her tone, James wanted to sigh when he remembered the argument they had when word spread around that Frank was going to be the bearer for his project with Marlene. Obviously, she's still upset and James has no intention on diving into that one right now.

"Right." Is all he said as he sank back into his seat.

The topic was forgotten and after the assignment started the idea of cooking or doing any of that completely left his mind. But then he smelled food in the lonely hallway of the Hufflepuff quarters. He wondered who it was that actually decided to cook for themselves. James let curiosity take hold and knocked.

It was a few moments before the door opened. For a moment he almost thought it was Remus since he knew his friend was alright in the kitchen, before he remembered that Remus was in room six and James wasn't sure how he'd deal with it if Narcissa ended up opening the door anyway.

Maybe Frank, or maybe-

The door opened and James froze in pure unadulterated shock when he saw Snape standing on the other side of the threshold. His hair was up, his skin slightly flushed from the apparent warmth in the room and he was-

There was a noticeable bulge underneath the white button up shirt he wore. Snape's skin looked healthier, less disturbingly thin and yellow and he seemed to be using the door to support him a bit as he stood barefoot in the quarters. What made it worse was that smell.

Food, a hot meal being prepared on a stove nearby and James felt another wave of shock wash over him when he realised that Snape was in there cooking. Barefoot and pregnant.

He never bothered to ask Padfoot about the details of their arrangement. He never asked if Snape was going to be the bearer. Sirius wasn't going to be involved in any of it, so what did it matter?

The idea of Snape being the bearer somehow never entered his mind so suddenly seeing it in front of him-

James could barely think, just stared in thought for what he knew was entirely too long, he didn't even really care. Considering the circumstances, James thinks he's allowed.

Snape stared back at him in shock as well, but those onyx eyes quickly filled with anger as he glared, lips twisting into a bitter sneer as he spat.

"Potter."

Clearly Snape wasn't happy to see him. But it didn't seem to matter since James' brain was still refusing to function so he started babbling. He can't even remember what he said before Snape predictably slammed the door shut in his face and left him standing there in the vacant hallway, staring at the door in silence.

He almost reached out to knock again but managed to stop himself. Why would he do that anyway?

But Snape looked so...

He tried to push those thoughts aside and turned around to walk away. Glancing back briefly at door number eight before he finally managed to convince himself to keep moving.

James made it to the hall, he saw a couple of the other students sitting down and eating. As always, there were elves at the head of the table ready to put a basket of food together for those that chose to eat in the quarters. As always there was a wide selection of food, but James couldn't stop thinking about that warm hearty smell that had his stomach growling just a few minutes ago and he decided that he wanted stew.

Though James enjoyed his dinner that night, his choice did in fact result in yet another fight between him and Lily since she wanted something else entirely. Lily wanted braised lamb with mint jelly... and peanut butter, with treacle tart and ice cream for dessert. James forgot the lamb, Lily was not pleased. But she still ate the food since she was hungry anyway and it didn't seem to matter despite the argument.

Once Lily went off to bed, James decided to visit Padfoot for a bit. Just to see how he's doing on his own, what he's been up to and... talk about Snape. Sure, Padfoot isn't actually doing the assignment with Snape but, he'd be interested right?
Surely, he'd be just a bit curious to know what Snape was up to. If not because of the nature of the assignment, then definitely because Sirius would be interested in what old Snivellus was doing. He'd at least find it funny right? That the high and mighty Slytherin git running about the Hufflepuff quarters barefoot and... and pregnant and... fucking cooking! Of course he would.

I mean, Snape looked so weird. His skin looked different, like his face was warmer somehow and he seemed to flush a little when James was babbling like a moron. It was a flush of anger, of course James knew that. Snape was very unhappy to see him but with Snape's skin so different even his glare looked a little different. Those dark onyx eyes were brighter somehow even as they narrowed down into a glare. The raven's lips twisted into a scowl... pink, Snape's lips were pink. Not like how some girls lips look when they use that lip stuff. It was just barely there. It was made even worse by the raven strands of hair brushing against Snape's cheek and along his neck. His hair looked clean and not at all as greasy as normal. As he stared at those strands brushing against Snape's cheek, for the first time he noticed how smooth Snape's skin was. Most of the boys their age have started growing facial hair. Padfoot started shaving in fourth year and James just last year. Moony's been shaving since second year, werewolf genetics - he said. And Peter's fuzz tended to grow all blotchy and uneven so he had no choice if he wanted to look half decent. Does Snape shave? It doesn't seem like it, or maybe he uses potions to get rid of the hair or something-

And then the door slammed shut in his face.

It was weird, so he told Padfoot knowing that he'd probably find it weird as well. Unfortunately, Padfoot didn't seem as interested in Snape's oddness as he was at the moment so James didn't stay long. He decided to get hold of Remus and tell him about the weirdness instead. He needed to tell someone, he needed someone to understand.

Remus couldn't stick around for too long. He was occupied with Narcissa for whatever reason and only had about five minutes to chat. Unfortunately, Remus proved to be just as disappointing as Padfoot.

"He's supposed to look like he's pregnant, James. It’s part of the assignment."

"I... I know that but, I mean, is the simulation supposed to change him that much?"

"Change him how?"

"Like… I don't know!" James huffed, "Like Narcissa, she looks different right?"

Remus paused for a brief moment before he answered, "Not that different. Narcissa... she's always been pretty."

"Yeah but-"

"Lily looks nice too, right?"

James blinked, "Well, yeah, of course."

"So why does it matter if Snape looks nice?"

"It doesn't, not really. I just-" James sighed, "You're not listening to me."

"You think Snape looks pretty now."

James' eyes went wide, "Whoa, that is not what I said!"

"Then what are you saying?"

James tried to explain. He tried to explain about Snape's hair and skin and eyes and the werewolf just stared him with a look of exasperation.

"James, there's nothing different about Snape."

"But he's-"

"I've seen him, I already told you Narcissa spends time with him sometimes." Remus sighed, "His hair is a little different, I guess, but otherwise-"

"You know what, forget it. You don't get it." James huffed, glaring at the nearest wall.

Remus frowned and then just shook his head. He left a few minutes after that, something about needing to be there for Narcissa. James barely even heard him. Too occupied thinking about... things.

But he didn't spend too much time thinking about the weirdness of Snape. He didn't really have the time. The first week of the assignment was about to come to an end. Lily's mood seemed better and they ended up spending a bit of time together. They went out to the Great Hall for breakfast and spent most of the time with Lily's friends. The last night of the first week had been great. Remus showed up for once, since Narcissa banished him because she was eating dinner with Snape. Sirius showed up as well and for once things felt normal. Lily was busy with Alice, Mary and Marlene and James could occupy himself with his friends as well.

He'd wrap his arm around Lily's shoulders every now and then, Lily didn't snap or snipe at him. It was great, even if Sirius seemed a little distracted and even with Moony pouting and glancing up at the clock every few seconds. Until he eventually left at eight thirty.

"Really?" James asked with a frown and the werewolf rolled his eyes.

"I said I'd go get her at by nine. I'm trying to take this seriously, James."

The Gryffindor Chaser rolled his eyes, "She's with... the git, right?" He cast a cautious eye over to Lily who was still chatting with Mary, "What are they doing again?"

"Snape made dinner. They're eating together."

Sirius looked up at that before shaking his head with a scoff, mumbling something that James didn't hear and didn't really care about at the moment either.

"Again?"

"Yes, again." Remus said, "I need to go. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Fine."

"Night Padfoot." The werewolf said to his friend who said goodnight back before he turned around and left. James huffed as he settled back in his seat, watching as his friend left the hall. Wondering what Snape was doing with Narcissa. The raven's relationship with the blonde is one of the many things about Snape that confused him. Pureblood, Slytherin princess Narcissa Black. Betrothed to Lucius bloody Malfoy, notoriously vain and with an obvious disdain for those with lesser blood. Her friendship with Snape made no sense.

Snape is a poor, no name halfblood. There is no reason why Narcissa should tolerate Snape let alone be able to befriend him. But they did seem to be friends, or at least, as much of a friend as Snape seemed capable of having-

Well, there was Lily.

Hazel eyes flickered over to the girl beside him who still seemed entirely too occupied with her friends. It didn't really make sense for Lily to be friends with Snape either. Snape is ugly and dirty, snarky and entirely too full of himself. Clearly evil with his obsession with dark magic and obvious darker associations. Lily was bright and beautiful, a wonderful person who seemed to radiate light itself, a brilliant symbol of everything good.

It didn't make sense for them to be friends. James has always thought so, but for some reason Lily didn't agree with him and for entirely too long she remained friends with the greasy haired git. Until she finally saw him for what he truly was of course. Until she finally cut ties with the prat. Of course, Lily still gets snippy whenever James brought up Snape in conversation, but she was staying away from Snape that's what’s important for him.

Once Lily was out of the picture, James was surprised to see not only Narcissa Black but Regulus Black suddenly take her place. The Slytherin princess and... Sirius' younger brother. James had been utterly confused.

He didn't know the younger Black very well. All he knew was what Sirius told him. That he was their parents’ favourite. He was quiet and reserved and very very obedient. Basically Sirius' complete opposite and that's what seemed to irritate Orion and Walburga in the worst way. Sirius was their intended heir but he was completely unsuited for the position. So they turned their attention to the more suitable more obedient son until eventually, Sirius was disowned.

At school Regulus seemed like your typical pureblood twat. Smug, full of himself and with obvious dark associations like all the others. A blood supremacist that stayed far away from anyone with lesser blood. And yet somehow... he befriends Snape?

Regulus was in a lower grade and yet, somehow, they always seemed like they were around each other. In the halls, the library and out in the courtyard. It irritated Sirius in the worst way. James felt distinctly annoyed at the sight as well. He wasn't sure why, but it wasn't right was it? That Snape had somehow gained the favour of both of the Black cousins. That is of course ignoring his baffling association with Lucius Malfoy.

Now they're doing an assignment for the summer and Narcissa is having dinner with Snape.

It was absolutely maddening-

Sirius suddenly got up, "Night, James."

"What?" James looked up at the other with a frown, 'Where are you going?"

"Bed."

"Right now? What for?"

"I'm feeling tired." Sirius said simply and James' mouth opened and closed.

"It’s not even nine."

"Goodnight James." He said before he just turned and left the hall and James watched him go as well.

It didn't really seem to matter though. At nine o'clock, Lily was tired and wanted to leave, so they went back to the quarters and settled in for sleep. Or at least, James tried to sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Snape, it was driving him insane and he didn't even know why seeing Snape like that bothered him so much.

Because it didn't look right. Yeah, it didn't look right at all. He looked weird like that.

James turned over on his bed to face Lily's bed. The girl insisted. There wasn't enough space for them to share a bed every night and it’s not like they could do any fooling around with the chastity charms anyway.

He watched her sleep, in the dark of the room, her skin looked a shade paler than normal. The warm flush of her cheeks barely noticeable, a hand curled under her pillow with the sheet coming up just above her bump.

Snape probably looks a bit like this when he sleeps too. If what Remus said is true - and none of this matters - and everyone looks a little different, then Snape might look a bit like this as well. They used to joke about it sometimes. The dungeon bat probably hangs off the ceiling when he sleeps like the evil creature he is. Greasy hair stuck to his sallow cheeks, it was funny back then. But right at that moment, James thought-

Well, he wasn't really thinking about anything specific when he snuck out of bed and up to Gryffindor Tower to get his invisibility cloak. He just wanted to get one more look at Snape is all, before the spells wear off and he looks different tomorrow morning.

James headed up to the dorms and searched for his cloak. It took longer than he thought it would. His cloak wasn't in his things and James almost went into a panic before he realised that Sirius must have borrowed it. Being stuck in the dorms all on his own, he must be trying to keep himself occupied.

Sure enough, he found the cloak in Padfoot's trunk at the end of the bed. He glanced over to the Animagus as he left, just to make sure he didn't wake. If Padfoot knew what he was doing he'd want to tag along. He'd probably want to pull a prank on Snape and James wasn't going down there for that.

He just wanted one more look that's all.

He headed back down and paused to listen by the door before he entered door number eight. Cast a silencing spell on himself and then unlocked the door.

It was dark inside, Snape was nowhere in sight. James shut the door behind him and then went in further into the quarters. The rooms seemed to look a little different from his and Lily's even in the darkness. The general kitchen area to the left looked smaller, older magical appliances he noted, the living room to the right had a couch set and coffee table and fireplace. All of it looked smaller, a little different. But James didn't spend too much time thinking about that.

He headed down the short hallway, a quick glance to the bathroom told him that that looked different as well. James was pleased when they first moved into room number one and found a standing shower separate from the tub. He prefers showers to baths, but it looks like number eight has a shower/tub.

Still he didn't pay too much attention to that.

He stopped at the first door on his right and slowly, very slowly, pushed it open.

And there he was.

He could see a figure sleeping on the bed to the right, under the covers of the bed. With James' heart hammering in his chest he walked into the room and stopped just beside the bed to peer down at the raven.

He didn't look anything like a sleeping dungeon bat. Snape looked about the same way he did when James saw him the other day, only now he's not glaring at the Gryffindor or... conscious.

One hand was curled beneath his head, the other draped over the baby bump. Raven strands pooled over the pillow and the slight pink on his cheeks just barely visible. Snape's always looked a bit monochromatic, but now, with the dim glow in the room it seemed worse. He was glowing, almost. Perfectly peaceful and serene and James couldn't help but think-

Snape shouldn't be here alone like this.

He looked over to the bed across from Snape's. The vacant bed where Sirius should be and he frowned.

There's a lot of tension between them, since the moment that they met things have never been civil between any of the marauders and Snape but still. It isn't right that he's here alone like this right?

James had half a mind to go up to the Tower and drag Padfoot down here. If they'd been paired up, James wouldn't have left Snape alone. Then again, Padfoot probably hasn't seen Snape like this. James himself has rarely seen the raven haired Slytherin since the assignment began, partly since he's been occupied with Lily and also, since Snape seemed to be keeping to himself.

He wondered what Padfoot would think of seeing Snape like this and honestly...

He had no idea what Padfoot would think. Part of him thought that his friend would find it funny to see Snape like this. But at that moment James couldn't for the life of him figure out why this would be funny. Snape looked different, but not in a way that seemed funny. He actually looked pregnant and something about that just made James feel off. It made him cringe internally when he thought of the possibility of Sirius wanting to prank Snape when he looked like this.

It made him cringe when he suddenly remembered other times when he pranked the Slytherin. It was absolutely mental, but the idea of pranking Snape while he was pregnant was... it made him feel uncomfortable. But it shouldn't. It’s not like Snape is ‘actually’ pregnant, he just looks pregnant so even if James decided to prank the Slytherin it’s not like there was an actual baby that he could hurt by doing that.

Fortunately, those thoughts were somewhat irrelevant. James doesn't feel like pulling a prank on Snape right now anyway.

So what does he want to do?

Honestly, James had no idea.

The Gryffindor chaser glanced over to the vacant bed, which suddenly reminded him of the vacant bed in room number one and he decided that he should get back to Lily in case she wakes up and realises he isn't there. Besides, he isn't like Sirius. He wouldn't leave his bearer when they needed him. Not that it seemed like Snape really needed anyone. The greasy haired git seemed like he was perfectly fine all on his own. Better than fine even.

But Snape's always been like that, hasn't he? Always alone. Always too good for the company of everyone except that odd select few that he would allow in his orbit. People like Malfoy and Narcissa and Regulus and... Lily. No one else was ever good enough. He probably couldn't give a toss about his baby's sire or whatever he was supposed to be doing right then.

James felt his jaw clench and he swiftly turned around to leave the quarters, resisting the urge to slam the door shut in annoyance.

He needed to cool down, so he took the time to go back up to the tower to return his cloak before heading back to the quarters and getting into bed.

The next morning, the spells had worn off and Lily was in much higher spirits. Smiling and seeming quite excited about the next part of the assignment. James was just glad that she wasn’t upset that morning.

They went to the hall, settled down for breakfast. James was surprised when Sirius showed up that morning. He was sure the Animagus wouldn't be anywhere near the Great Hall for the collection of the babies and yet there he was. When James asked, Sirius just shrugged and said he felt like coming. He made a joke about wanting to see exactly what his abomination would look like.

James laughed. Before Waltz announced that the children would look like combinations of them, the stray thought entered his head. What would a kid look like if they actually came out of Snape? What would a kid from Snape and Sirius look like? It was a funny thought. He couldn't imagine what a child born of Snivellus would look like let alone a child which was supposed to be a combination of Snape and Sirius. It couldn't possibly look human-

Then again.

Sirius and Snape both have black hair and if they were lucky it might end up taking more after Sirius than Snape. Hopefully it wouldn't be cursed with that ridiculous nose that Snape had, and Snape's skin actually looked... nice the other day. And Snape's eyes have always been-

James cut himself off just as the doors to the hall opened yet again. Snape walked in before settling in beside Remus and Narcissa, the pregnancy spells had clearly worn off and yet, Snape still looked-

Alright fine! Fucking fine! The stupid git looks different like this. The absolute prat looks-

Just then Snape glanced back to say something to Narcissa. Dark dark eyes swept over the breakfast spread on the table, briefly brushing his hair back behind his ear to expose his cheek as he reached out for some toast. He put jam on one piece, just butter on another. Pale hands with long fingers moving to fill his cup of tea before mixing in cream and sugar before he started eating. His tongue would peek out to lick away a few stray crumbs on his lips. The strawberry jam that made the Slytherin’s mouth look just a slight shade darker before he'd slick the preserve away. Narcissa said something that made the raven pause and seemingly give a snort, smirking as he said something back that had the girl beside him smiling for the briefest of moments. Then he reached over to put a few rashers on his plate, a scoop of scrambled eggs, two pieces of bacon. Snape doesn't usually eat that much, James noted distantly. That might be one of the reasons his skin looks so good. James frowned as he wondered why Snape didn't eat the way he clearly should be.

The raven sipped his tea as he continued to converse with Narcissa, looking back at the blonde every now and then. Brushing back the strands that would fall over his eyes whenever he did, those dark dark eyes narrowing in a slight glare that only made the girl smirk in return before those endless orbs rolled dramatically. He stabbed his fork into one of the rashers on his plate, lifted it up to his mouth to take a bite. Snape paused when Narcissa said something that drew his attention. His mouth didn't close as he listened to her speak, not completely anyway. First, he licked his lips before pursing them for a brief moment before he shook his head and quickly took a bite from the rasher.

Something about the action seemed to shock James back to reality and he jumped. Clearing his throat and glancing around himself to make sure no one noticed... that.

Lily talked with Mary and Sirius was occupied with his breakfast. James let out a silent sigh. That's good. That means no one noticed... that. Whatever that was. The Gryffindor could feel his cheeks warm slightly as he looked up at Snape again and then his lips pulled into a frown. Remus was leaning over the table a bit, to look around Narcissa to say something to Snape, before the Slytherin answered back.

Sure, James knew that because of the circumstances, Moony's been around Snape but-

The werewolf shook his head with a smile as he settled back into his seat while Snape just rolled his eyes again and the blonde between them reached out for her own cup of tea.

Seriously, since when do they talk? James thought for sure that Snape would want absolutely nothing to do with the werewolf after last years incident at the shack. Now they're talking? Is it really because of the assignment? They couldn't be... friends now, right? Of course not. That would be absurd.

And yet throughout breakfast, they seemed perfectly fine around one another. James couldn't understand it. He didn't have too much time to think about that though. Soon breakfast ended and they started the next part of their assignment.

He thought it was funny when Frank suddenly passed out after seeing whatever it is that he saw in the stroller. And when Alice and Mary went up, they both looked excited about whatever it is that they saw. Unfortunately, James was unprepared for what he would see when the sheet was pulled away and he saw what would be his and Lily's pretend baby for the next few weeks.

It was a tiny little thing, barely bigger than an enchanted doll. Rosy skin with curls of red hair on her head.

He could almost feel the blood drain from his face as he froze in a similar way that Lily did right beside him. He was not prepared for it to look so... real.

They made it back to the Hufflepuff quarters... somehow. James doesn't remember much about the journey there. Just remembers Lily mumbling something as she urged him forward.

They put the stroller in the middle of the large open space between the kitchen and the living room area. The sheet had been replaced so it covered the baby again and then they just stared at the black stroller for what felt like hours. James standing absolutely still since he didn't know what else to do and Lily doing the same, before the girl just huffed out a sigh of frustration as she moved forward.

"Let's just get this over with." Emerald green eyes flickered up to the chaser when he flinched at her movement and then rolled, "For Merlin's sake James, it’s not even real." and then she pulled the sheet away completely, that's when the baby began to stir and the girl froze again.

First there were soft whining noises as dark murky eyes slowly opened and it started moving a bit in the pram.

"It looks real." James said softly and Lily looked up at him for a brief moment before shaking her head.

"Professor Waltz said that whatever these things are, they're supposed to look real so-" The baby - thing - Rose's whining got louder and suddenly she had started to cry. They both froze up again before Lily huffed and moved forward to pick her up, trying to be careful as she lifted the baby up against her chest and started patting her back.

James stood still, just watching her shush the child. The whole moment feeling absolutely surreal, when she suddenly looked up at him and her eyes narrowed in annoyance.

"James! Don't just stand there. Do you want to pass Mugglestudies or not?"

"Oh, right." he said as he hurried off to where she said she put the formula and bottles.

The whole week, all of the first week, had been an ordeal.

Rosalie cried constantly. She was fussy and irritable and absurdly difficult to deal with. Even when her diaper was clean and she'd been fed and seemed perfectly fine, she would cry. She cried when she fell asleep and cried when she woke up. Screamed her lungs out when she was hungry and sometimes when there was nothing wrong at all.

That first week, he didn't get much sleep. When Rose woke at night James was the one to deal with her. It’s one of the things he agreed to do when they were planning for the assignment. If Lily had to be the bearer during the simulation week, then James had to be the one to take care of Rose when she woke in the middle of the night. The first night it went fine, James could barely stay awake during the day but it was alright.

The second night the lack of sleep had him cranky. Lily's usual teases sounded more like insults than normal and James was having an awful time not taking any of it personally. He'd say something back that would have Lily frowning, before she said something and then he said something and she said something else and then suddenly they were fighting.

This happened a few times over the first few nights. Things would be O.K. Rose's eyes colour had revealed itself as the same brilliant hazel as James'. He thought it was adorable, Lily thought so too... when she was paying attention.

On the morning of the third day, James had just changed Rose's diaper. She was much less fussy, giggling when James made faces at her and trying to reach out to grab at his messy curls. James picked her up and took her into the living area. He left Lily cleaning up in the living room area before he took Rose for her change. Only to frown when he got back and saw their assigned elf, Mopsy cleaning up while Lily sat with textbooks and notes at the kitchen table.

It's not a big deal, they're allowed to use their elves for whatever they need, with the exception of cooking of course. But James still frowned. Before he could say anything, not that he's really even sure what he'd want to say, there was a knock at the door. With Rose still in his arms he walked over to answer.

"Moony." James blinked before giving a smile, "Hey."

"Morning, hope I'm not interrupting." the werewolf said with a sheepish smile, looking over to the bundle in James' arms for a moment before the hazel eyed wizard shook his head.

"... not really. We were just about to get ready for breakfast."

"Oh, mind if I join you?" Remus asked, "Cissa - Narcissa is eating with Snape again and-"

"And her highness decided to banish you into the darkness?" James said and Remus shook his head.

"Don't be a prat. Can I come along or not?"

James paused. Now that he thinks about it, he hasn't spent time with the marauders much since he's been so occupied with Rose and Lily.

"Hang on." He stepped back and moved over to the kitchen table, where Lily had yet to raise her head from whatever it is that she was reading. Upon closer inspection he realised that it was a transfigurations text. James frowned and Rose stirred a bit in his arms, whining softly before he shushed her.

"Lil's, what are you doing?"

She shook her head, "Just some research for the first term. Why?"

"It’s time for breakfast. Remus just showed up he asked if he could come along with us." James scoffed, "Apparently Narcissa-"

"I'll be there soon."

James blinked, Rose stirred again.

"What do you mean?"

"I just want to get this part done first and then I'll get something to eat." James didn't respond and Lily could feel the look that had settled on the top of her head, she gave an exasperated sigh and looked up, "I promise I'll be there soon. It's not like I can ask Mopsy to bring me something anyway. Just go on without me."

"Seriously? The term isn't even close to starting yet and you're studying right now."

"Don't be dramatic. I said I'll be there once I finish this part and I will. It'll only be a few minutes."

James was annoyed, he wasn't even really sure why at first. Maybe it’s because he was slightly cranky and running on less than three hours of sleep for the past few days. Maybe it’s because Lily was always doing school work during the day when they had agreed that they'd both be taking care of Rosalie together. Maybe it’s because Lily said she'd clean up while he got Rose ready and cleaned up but instead told the elf to do it for her. Or maybe it’s because its breakfast time and he's hungry.

Either way, he felt - in his sleep deprived, cranky, hungry state - that he was justified in what he did next.

He set Rose into the highchair at the table right in front of the redhead who looked up at him with a frown, just as he turned and headed for the door. Rose was already whining, sniffling into a cry.

"James, what're-"

"See you in the hall in a few minutes then."

He opened the door and it took everything in him not to slam it shut behind him. It didn't seem to matter though, as soon as the door closed Rose immediately started screaming her lungs out.

Remus stared at him, "James-"

"I'm starving."

James said as he determinedly started walking down the hall. The werewolf seemed to hesitate, looking between his friend and the door before quickly hurrying to catch up.

"You know she's going to kill you."

James looked over to the werewolf, swallowed hard before he just pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and shrugged. They were just about to pass door number eight, James couldn't help but let his eyes linger on the door. He noticed that Remus' eyes did as well, his lips pursing tightly before he forced himself to look away.

"So why did Narcissa send you away? Looked to me like you and Snape are getting along fine."

Remus blinked at the question and shrugged, "She wanted to talk to him about something."

"Talk to him about what?"

"She said it’s a private matter. Told me not to come back till twelve."

"A private matter?" James frowned.

"I don't know, I think I'm starting to annoy her."

"I'm pretty sure anyone that isn't pure annoys her... except for Snape apparently."

"She's been snapping at me... more than usual, I mean." The werewolf seemed to ignore his comment. "And it’s not her usual thing where she insults me for the sake of it. I don't know what I'm doing, but it’s starting to get on her nerves."

"Lily's the same sometimes." James sighed as that sounded all too familiar, "Honestly, birds are more trouble than they're worth."

Remus scoffed, "You don't mean that."

James shook his head, "She's with Snape again, huh?" And then a thought came to mind, "Have you seen what his assignment looks like?"

"His assignment?"

"Yeah, you know." James made a vague gesture with his hand and Remus' eyes filled with realisation.

"Oh, you mean Alexander."

"He named it Alexander?" James asked incredulously and Remus scoffed again.

"He named him, Alexander Black."

"Really? Does Sirius know?"

Remus' lips pursed again, "He knows something. When Narcissa sends me away and I go see him Sirius asks about him, I think he saw Alex on Sunday at least."

"Oh... and?"

"And what?"

"What does it look like? If it looks like Sirius and Snape then it must be a freak, it’s a freak right?"

Remus gave him a very tired look, "James, don't start."

"I'm just saying-"

"For your information Alex is very cute, adorable even."

"He takes more after Sirius, then?"

Remus opened his mouth before closing it again, his head gave a tilt and then, "A bit like both of them actually."

"No way."

"Imagine," Moony paused before continuing, "Well, you saw Snape last week. You're the one that said he looks different."

For some reason James felt warmth rush to his face, if only briefly, "Moony-"

"So imagine Snape, same black hair, same pale skin just a bit brighter, rosier almost. Much smaller, but with Sirius' eyes."

James tried to imagine it, somehow the image refused to form in his mind and he looked back at the door for a brief moment just as they left the hallway leading to the rooms.

"Sirius never comes down here, not even to check on it?"

"No." Remus sighed, "He insists on being stubborn, the idiot."

"And Snape?" James forced a scoff, "He hasn't maimed the poor thing yet, right? I heard Lockheart nearly did, trying to charm it to grow faster so he wouldn't have to change its diapers."

Remus shook his head, "No. No Snape's been fine. He's actually doing really well even though he's alone. Alex is growing so fast. I mean, Abbey only started crawling this morning. Alex has been crawling since yesterday."

James frowned, "Do you think he's cheating?"

Remus paused, "What? No, of course not. Waltz said that wouldn't work and we've both heard about what happened when Lockheart when he tried to charm their assignment."

"Lockheart's a moron. Snape might be able to figure out a way to make it grow like that."

The werewolf shook his head, "He isn't doing anything like that." And then Remus sighed, "If he was doing anything like that, Narcissa would know and she'd make him help her."

"How can you be so sure?"

"He's sharing his potions with her, why not share that?"

James paused, "What do you mean he's sharing potions with her?"

Remus stopped as well, almost seeming to come back to himself, he let out a heavy sigh and cursed softly beneath his breath.

"I... bloody hell, he-" The werewolf sighed again, "I guess it doesn't matter at this point. Snape made potions before the end of term, things to help with pregnancies and babies and stuff."

"So he is cheating!"

"No! No nothing he's using is illegal or anything. He got the potions from baby and pregnancy books. Remember last week, everyone was struggling because of morning sickness. Frank fainted about twelve times."

James cringed. Lily was a nightmare last week.

"Yeah?"

"Snape gave Narcissa morning sickness reliever and it worked really really well. Narcissa was back to herself in no time."

"But-" James almost gaped, "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"What were you going to do about it? We both know Snape wouldn't do anything to help you with anything and since he and Lily aren't friends... I'm not even sure if he'd do it for her. There was no point in telling you."

James' mouth shut and he glared at the stone floors as they walked.

"My point is, if Snape was using some potion or spell to make the assignment easier for himself then Narcissa would know and make him help her as well. It’s nothing special, Snape is just... well, he's actually really good with Alex. It's kind of weird to say, but I think he'd actually make a great father."

James frowned at the thought.

When they got to the hall they found Sirius already there, staring into nothing as he stirred a spoon in the beans on his plate. James was curious so he asked his friend if he had seen his pretend child yet.

Sirius blinked, sat up in his seat and shrugged, "Yeah, I saw it."

"And, what does it look like?" Sirius' face went red and he quickly shoved a forkful of beans and eggs into his mouth, James frowned, "It can't be that hideous."

Sirius stopped chewing and his gaze snapped over to James, "Who said he was hideous?"

James shrugged, "No one. Bloody Moony said Alexander is cute, but if it looks like Snape then-"

"He's fine. Alexander is..." Sirius trailed off chewing slowly before he swallowed and then oddly mumbled something, "He's fine. It doesn't... why do you even care James?"

"I don't, I'm just curious."

"There's nothing to be curious about, Moony said he's cute and... yeah, he's-he's cute." Sirius said and then snapped irritably, "I... don't fucking call him hideous. Just cause he's half Snape's doesn't mean anything. He's mine too."

"Padfoot, I didn't-"

"Where's Lily anyway? Shouldn't she be here with Rose?"

James shook his head, realising fairly quickly that Alexander isn't a subject he should broch with Sirius. The Animagus has a temper, but he rarely snaps that quickly, not unless it has anything to do with Snape anyway.

Well then...

He let out a sigh as he started fixing his plate, "She said they'll be up soon."

As he ate, he looked around to the other students sitting at the table. Frank and Marlene sat near the end with their baby, a boy if the blue blanket and onesie is anything to go by. Messy auburn hair is all James could see from where Frank had the kid nestled in his arms.

Mary had their baby, a girl with brown curls, sitting on the table in a fluorescent pink dress. Cooing at the little thing only to screech in horror and almost drop her when some sort of chunky yellow goo dripped from its tiny mouth like a faucet. Alice quickly took hold of the child, hissing at the blonde for being careless.

And then way at the end of the table were Lockheart and his partner. Their baby seemed to have finally recovered and only looked slightly green as he and his partner glared and hissed irritably at each other. Their assignment seemed smaller than everyone else's. James wasn't surprised.

He looked over the other groups and with a slight frown noted that Snape wasn't anywhere in sight, which Moony explained already. Still he couldn't help but feel just a bit antsy. He hasn't really thought about the Slytherin since that last morning before they got Rose and now-

Well, he certainly can't ask Sirius so-

"How does Alexander get along with Abigail?" He asked as he looked to the werewolf sitting across from him. Briefly, he could feel Sirius pause at his side but ignored it.

Remus shrugged, "They seem alright."

"That's it?"

"They're babies, James. What do you expect me to say?" the werewolf shook his head, "When we put them together they seem fine. It’s not really playing together, its more, I don't know." He started to smile a bit, "I don't know, for now they seem to be getting along fine."

"Oh." James said picking up a piece of toast to bite and chew, "Maybe you could bring Abbey to see Rose, then."

Remus paused and then shook his head, "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

The werewolf gave him a very dull look, "Narcissa doesn't like you or Lily. She doesn't even like me. She's just tolerating me for the sake of the assignment." He mumbled quietly before letting out a sigh, "She'd kill me if I even thought about bringing Abbey around you."

"Oh come on, she's fine with Snape's project isn't she?"

"She likes Snape."

"Yeah, and only bloody Merlin knows why." He huffed as he reached for some pumpkin juice.

"I'm not bringing Abbey around you, things with Narcissa are tense enough."

James frowned at his friend but didn't try to push any further. Honestly, he was just too tired. Maybe he can get a few hours of sleep this afternoon, that is if-

He looked up just as he felt someone settle in beside him. Lily sat down, he could practically feel the anger radiate off of her as she sat down with Abbey in her arms. The rest of breakfast was tense, James mostly spoke with Remus and Sirius, with the werewolf glancing over to Lily and giving James a pointed look.

Rose was very fussy, barely eating much at all and whining oddly. James looked over to see the annoyed and frustrated look on Lily's face as she struggled to feed the girl. James let out a silent sigh as he set his utensils down and reached over towards the girl.

“Here, I’ll feed her-“

“No.” Lily snapped sharply, lips pursing into a tight smile as she moved Rose a bit so she was a bit further away from James, “I’ve got it.”

James let out a more audible sigh, “Look, I’m sorry about just now. I think I’m just tired and-“

“I said its fine.” She hissed out. James shook his head as he went back to eating. Remus frowned at them.

“James-“

“It’s fine, Moony.” James snapped and Remus lifted his hands in surrender while Sirius frowned as, but didn’t say a word.

Rosalie started to whine. Lily got up and picked her up before.

“We’ll just eat back in the quarters.” With that she walked away, towards the elves with the food baskets, got their food and left with a basket slung over her left arm and Rose in the left.

“I see you two are having fun.” Sirius quipped and James glared at his friend.

“Piss off.” He grumbled and Padfoot just shook his head as he kept eating.

He stayed at breakfast for another hour, mostly because he didn’t want to have to deal with what he knew he would have to deal with once he got back to door number one. James might’ve stayed out the whole day if it weren’t for Remus and his insistence that he try to make up with Lily and not try to put it off.

So James went back and tried to make up with her, he even offered to take care of Rose so Lily could study or whatever, but there was no use.

They were arguing in less than two minutes.

“Oh my-… so all of this is because I let Mopsy clean?!” Lily almost screeched incredulously and James wanted to scream in a similar way, he barely managed not to.

“This isn’t about Mopsy-… you know what, yes! This is about Mopsy. It’s about the bleeding elf, Lily! I have no issue with letting the elf clean, that’s what it’s here for-“

“So what-“

“It has to do with you. You’re always preaching about the rights of magical creatures. You insisted that we do the chores ourselves, I’ve been getting the dishes and sweeping done since we started all of this-“

“Oh please, you were using spells-“

“-and yet the second you have to do something, while I deal with Rose suddenly; there’s nothing wrong with using an elf!”

Lily rolled her eyes, “I was busy. Mopsy asked if she could do something and I-“

“You let her! You let her clean the kitchen, because that’s what they do. Elves cook and clean and take care of things because it’s something they enjoy doing, they like being useful. I told you this hundreds of times but you insisted and now-“

“Fine! You want me to say that you’re right, I’ll say it; you’re right. James Potter is right!”

“Merlin, this isn’t even about the stupid elf! I don’t care if you use the elf.”

“Then what-“

“It’s about Rose, we’re supposed to be taking care of her together but I turn around for ten seconds and you’re studying or sending messages to Marlene or Dorcas, meanwhile the baby-“

“It’s not real!” The redhead said looking right into his eyes, “None of this is real, James. I know you have some sort of fantasy built up in your head about us playing house together, but it doesn’t apply here. This is a school assignment. If I want to take a break to do something else, then I can!”

James stopped to just stare at her. Her face was flushed just as much as he knew his own was in anger right at that moment, locks of red hair falling over her face as she breathed hard before quickly folding her arms over her chest, emerald eyes lit up with fury and James felt-

He wasn’t sure what he felt right at that moment, it didn’t seem to matter though.

Rose started screaming.

Lily huffed in frustration before she turned to head to the baby’s room.

“I’ll get her.”

“Don’t you mean, it?”

Lily stopped to glare at him, James just shook his head as he walked around her and headed into Rose’s room. She was screaming her lungs out, her face was red and when James picked her up he could feel the heat practically radiating off of her.

That doesn’t feel right.

“What’s wrong?” Lily asked, seeing the look of concern on James’ face.

“I don’t know, she feels like she’s on fire.” James said as he tried to shush her and calm her down. Lily reached over to touch the side of the baby’s face and her eyes went wide.

“We should get her to the hospital wing.”

“What?”

“I think she might be sick.”

James’ eyes widened, “Sick? But how?”

“It doesn’t matter how.” Lily said as she grabbed the baby bag settled on the rocking chair, “We need to go right now.”

James’ mouth snapped shut and he just followed the redhead out of the door, trying fruitlessly to get Rose calm as they left the quarters and headed for the infirmary.

Once they got there, they found Madame Pomfrey out next to one of the beds making some sort of list only to stop when she heard Rose’s crying. The mediwitch quickly ushered them over to one of the cots before casting diagnostic spells. Eventually, she finally let out a sigh, though there was something… strange in her eyes.

“It’s just a fever. I’ll give you a potion for it and she should be better in an hour or two. Make sure she eats before you give it to her and get her into bed. She should be fine.” Pomfrey said as she made a few notes. The teens both sighed in relief and James scoffed.

“Thought for sure Rose was dying with the way she was screaming.”

Lily dragged a hand through her hair as she sat back on the cot behind them. “Madame Pomfrey, she seems to get agitated and fussy very easily. Is it supposed to be like that? Is it something with the way the assignments are charmed?”

“Not exactly. Your baby seems to be a bit more sensitive than the others.” She stopped and then stepped back, “Set her down, I think I need to run a few more tests.”

James frowned, “What for?”

“Just to make sure everything is alright.” She said and James shared a look with Lily before setting Rose down on the cot. She was still sniffling a bit but wasn’t screeching the way she was a few minutes ago.

“Now, why don’t you two wait over there, while I have a look at her.” The mediwitch said as she ushered the teens over to the cot a few feet away. Before returning to Rose and drawing the curtains shut around them.

James’ frown grew, why do the curtains need to be shut?

“James.” Lily suddenly said drawing his attention.

The girl took a deep breath and brushed her hair from her face as she spoke, “About what happened…”

She trailed off and James just stared at her before taking a deep breath of his own and letting it out.

“It was stupid.”

“I know.” Lily said with an awkward smile, “It’s been hard trying to get used to all this. Being a muggleborn, I didn’t know it was possible for… I never expected it to seem so real-”

“It’s hard for me too, you know, being a pureblood doesn’t mean any of this is easier for me.”

“I’m not saying it is.” Lily said shortly, “I thought that since it isn’t actually real, dealing with it would be easier and it isn’t. I just, want to have some time to myself and I… I shouldn’t have asked for Mopsy’s help when I said that we shouldn’t.”

“O.K.” James said with a nod, “What about the studying?”

“What about it?”

“The term isn’t even close to starting yet, there’s no reason for it right now.”

Lily’s eyes narrowed at the wizard, “You expect me to stop?”

“No, that’s not what I – fucking hell – I just need you to pay a little more attention. That’s all and you know what, it’d be nice if I could get some rest since I’m up every night checking on Rose.”

“Merlin, you’re so dramatic.” Green eyes rolled hard as she brushed her hair back again, “I was stuck the whole first week dealing with pain and morning sickness and I didn’t complain about it half as much as you do about getting up to check on her a few times. If anyone needs to be cooperative here, it’s you. Why am I even surprised? Of course, you’re going to throw a tantrum because you have to put in a little effort instead of pissing off with your friends.”

“You-“

Just then, they heard the curtains from the bed across from them open up. Rose was on the bed, now much more settled, Madame Pomfrey made notes before looking up at the two teens.

“All done.”

“Great.” Lily said, the only sign of their previous argument being the tension on her lips as she smiled. “Is everything alright, Madame Pomfrey?”

“Everything is… fine. I-“ She stopped, her mouth shutting before pursing together as she seemed to try and find the words, “Rose, is a little more sensitive. She may become a bit sickly from time to time. It’s important that you keep an eye on her.” She looked over to the baby, “I’ll give you her fever potion but if she still seems unwell, you should come back and I’ll try and help as best as I can. Tomorrow especially, in case she’s still running a fever.”

“Yes, Madame Pomfrey.” Lily said as she headed over to the cot to pick the baby up. Madame Pomfrey gave James the potion. They were about to leave when-

“A word of advice.” The mediwitch said causing both to stop and look at her. Madame Pomfrey took in a silent breath. “I understand if things may be difficult, considering the circumstances, however; try your best to avoid creating any tension around the baby. Children can sense distress and that could be distressing for them as well.”

“It’s not real-“

“That doesn’t matter, Miss Evans.”

Lily blinked, James swallowed hard.

“We’re fine.”

Madame Pomfrey shrugged, “Just some advice. Being confined in the Hufflepuff dorms for extended periods of time can’t be easy. As young as you are. If you need to, I’d advise you to get out and give each other space to breathe from time to time. Even those with real children need space to ‘breathe’ sometimes.”

They nodded and she gave them a smile
.
“Off you go and keep an eye on that one. She’s going to be plenty of trouble.”

The whole way back to their rooms, they didn’t say a word. James suspected - and he thinks that Lily may have as well – that Madame Pomfrey heard them arguing and that was the reason for her comment on causing the baby distress. So that night, he tried to keep the peace. He didn’t poke or prod at Lily over their argument from earlier and Lily seemed to be doing the same.

But Rose was still unbearably difficult.

James was up for most of the night again. The next day he was feeling more than just a little irritable. It didn’t help that Rose started screaming her ever loving lungs out around noon. They tried to get her calm, even gave her some of the potion that they got the day before but it didn’t seem to help. Lily snapped at James, told him to go to Pomfrey to get something for Rose since she didn’t want to go through the halls with a screaming baby.

James didn’t need to be told twice.

He left the quarters and noted vaguely that there was crying coming from the other rooms as well. Merlin, he had the worst headache. James decided to get as far away from the noise as humanly possible and headed up to Gryffindor Tower to find Padfoot.

He needed a break, and getting the chance to spend some time with his friends seemed like just the thing to lift his spirits.

Unfortunately, Sirius was completely distracted so other than the odd hum or nod he didn’t really get much out of the Animagus.

James still had some potions to collect so they headed to the hospital wing. James had switched over from complaining about the assignment to talking about the next season of Quidditch. That seemed to gain a bit more of Sirius’ attention and they spent most of the way there talking about exactly what they would do about McClaggen’s vacant spot since he’s graduated.

They reached the Hospital Wing and James was feeling marginally better, only to freeze when they stepped in through the large oak doors and ran into…

Snape.

Sirius froze up at the exact same time that he did, but James isn’t sure if it’s for the same reason.

He hasn’t seen the Slytherin since they received their assignments in the Great Hall, it felt distinctly odd seeing him again.

His hair was up… again, though the bun that it was in seemed messy and loose. He was in his normal school robes, though even that seemed like it had just been thrown on over whatever it is that he’s wearing underneath and he was pushing a black stroller.

James made sure not to look at the baby carrier, though even looking at Snape made him feel odd.

The Slytherin is obviously aware of their presence, he seemed to just be ignoring them. As per usual.

James couldn’t help but glare at the thought. Of course, bloody Snivellus is so high on himself he can’t even be bothered to acknowledge anyone around him.

Without even thinking about it, he took out his wand and cast a tripping spell on the Slytherin just as he passed them. As far as James is concerned there are far worse things he could have done to Snivellus had he actually wanted to, but he didn’t want to. It was just a little trick, something to remind the git of his place since he seemed to have forgotten it. He cast a tripping hex and Snape went tumbling to the floor. James would only remember after casting the hex that the raven was walking with a stroller in hand. That he had his… assignment with him. He was almost grateful when Padfoot suddenly moved forward and caught both Snape and the stroller, stopping them from crashing to the ground.

Grateful and also confused that Padfoot would think to help Snape. It was an odd moment, Sirius caught Snape and then helped him up, setting the stroller back on four wheels after he stopped it from tipping over.

James blinked when there was a loud screeching cry as what could only be Snape’s pretend baby started wailing. That almost brought him back, it cut right through his exhaustion and splitting headache to remind him that he almost injured a baby.

But…

But it’s not real though, it would’ve been fine even if it fell right? Blimey, Lockheart tried to charm his baby and it seemed fine… mostly fine.

Madame Pomfrey rushed over towards them, Snape pulled out of Padfoot’s grasp to pick up the child. Pitch black curls and skin flushed red is all that he saw, but the sight still had him swallowing hard as Snape tried to get the baby calm again.

The moment however, was short lived as Pomfrey turned towards him and deducted a hundred points from Gryffindor for the prank.

“Those things aren’t even real!” He argued, the mediwitch’s eyes narrowed and she looked close to screaming but somehow managed to hold herself back.

“It doesn’t matter of they’re real or not! Circe, you are soon to begin your seventh year and you’re still carrying on with this ridiculous childish nonsense.” She took a deep breath, “A hundred points from Gryffindor, for attempting to injure a student and child-“

“But-“

“Fifty points from Gryffindor for casting a hex in the infirmary where harmful spells are forbidden.”

James almost gaped, “I-“

“Shall I make it a hundred points as well, Mr Potter?!”

James mouth snapped shut, his hands clenched at his sides, “No, mam.”

“Good.” She said pulling back, “Now, why are you here?”

The Gryffindor forced himself to take in a deep breath, “Rose is still sick, her fever is warmer now and she won’t stop crying.”

Madame Pomfrey nodded her head, glancing off to the side; he noticed that she was watching as Snape left the Hospital Wing and spoke just as the door shut.

“She may be teething, I’ll look for some potions that should help with the pain and fever but I don’t have a teething potion to give you. You’ll have to manage that on your own. Use some ice to soothe her gums, get her a teething toy as well.”

“Yes, mam.”

She gave him one more look before turning to go back to her office.

James huffed, as he dragged a hand through his hair, he looked back to Padfoot just as the Animagus turned to face him as well and forced a laugh.

“Can you believe her?”

To James’ utter surprise, Sirius glared at him.

Pomfrey gave him the potions and they headed back to Gryffindor tower… where they started to argue. Though James honestly couldn’t figure out why his friend was so upset. He couldn’t figure out why Sirius even cared since he’d made it very clear before that he had no interest in this assignment let alone whatever was happening with Snape, so why get upset about this?

They were going back and forth, Padfoot had started pacing by then and James just felt completely frustrated and annoyed. That’s when Moony showed up and tried to calm them both down.

“Just…” Sirius’ jaw clenched as he glared darkly at his friend, “Stay away from Snape and Alexander, alright?!” With that final word he turned and stormed out of the dorm room, slamming the door shut behind him.

“What was that all about?” Remus asked and James just shook his head throwing his arms up in disbelief.

“Who bloody knows! Apparently, I can’t do anything right these days. First its Lily and then madame Pomfrey and now Sirius is pissed because who fucking knows why. I didn’t do anything! It was just a prank, Snape and the baby are perfectly fine!”

Remus paused and then let out a heavy sigh, “You pulled a prank on Snape and Alexander?”

James stopped at the look on the werewolf’s face, “No, no no. Don’t give me that look. It was just a tripping hex, they’re both fine.”

Remus shook his head as he walked around the bespectacled wizard to get to the trunk beside his bed, “Sure.” He opened the wooden chest and started digging through it.

James huffed, “What? You’re pissed at me now too?”

“No, I’m just wondering if you’d do the same thing to Abbey.”

He blinked, “Of course not, I wouldn’t hurt-“

“But you’d hurt Alexander because he belongs to Snape?”

“That… that’s not what I was trying to do.”

“I don’t have time for this. Abbey’s sick, I just came to grab this book. I almost forgot Narcissa made me check it out a week ago. She said she and Snape found something in here that might help.” Remus then shut his trunk, book in hand before he gave his friend a frown, “You’re lucky Snape didn’t try to kill you himself, especially with Alex doing so well.”

James rolled his eyes as the werewolf headed for the door, only to stop and look back at his friend.

“Let me ask you this; if Snape did what you did to him to Lily, wouldn’t you pissed about it?” Remus looked him right in the eyes, “You asked me why I won’t bring Abbey to see Rose.”

“You said Narcissa-“

“Its not just Narcissa. I don’t think it would be a good idea and it turns out I was right, if you’re willing to pull a prank on-”

James blinked, “That’s different.”

“How? Because we’re friends?”

“Yes!”

The werewolf’s lips pursed, “Sirius is your friend too, isn’t he? I don’t see too much of a difference between Narcissa and Snape. If you’re willing to hurt Alex then you’re willing to do the same to Abbey.”

“It’s not the same.”

“It’s not? Why is it different with Snape, James?”

“He’s a Slytherin-“

“Narcissa is a Slytherin, she’s from house Black and Sirius says everyone in his family is dark and she… she’s engaged to Lucius Malfoy. If you can ignore her, then why can’t you ignore Snape?” he let out a heavy sigh and turned back, “I should go before Narcissa loses it.”

“Remus-“

“Just leave Snape alone for once.” Remus frowned, “Shouldn’t you be with Lily right now anyway?”

James tensed, “I… needed to go get something from the Hospital Wing.”

“And what, you ran into Snape when you were there?”

“I didn’t go looking for him on the map or anything, if that’s what you think.” James said folding his arms over his chest. The werewolf’s frown grew and James felt incredibly agitated by the calculated stare in those blue eyes. “What?”

“Did you get what you needed from the Hospital Wing?” Remus asked and James shrugged.

“Yeah.”

The werewolf continued to stare and the Gryffindor chaser snapped.

“What?!”

Remus stepped back to open the door and hold it open.

“Go back to your girlfriend, James.”

James blinked, “I was just about to.”

Remus nodded, “Let’s go. Like I said before Narcissa’s waiting, so…” He stood by the door and James rolled his eyes as he stomped forward.

“I was on my way.”

“I know… Snape just distracted you, like he always does.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just what I said. Let’s go.”

After giving Rose the potions and getting her to sleep things settled in. James sent Mopsy to get the girl a teething toy and they had a few hours of quiet in the quarters for once. Remus’ words left him feeling unsettled, though he wasn’t sure why and he didn’t really want to think about why. So while Rose slept James decided to head down to the Hallto get them something to eat for lunch. Just as a joke, he got that braised lamb with mint jelly and peanut butter. Lily rolled her eyes before laughing. James gave a non-specific apology that covered everything that’s been happening the last few days. Lily accepted it and they agreed to start over.

The peace lasted about four days. James managed to catch up on some sleep but he was still painfully exhausted. When the second week rolled around, Rose was sick yet again. They started arguing again.

Monday of the second week, Lily went to go see her friends. James was to watch Rose and then later that week, he’d go spend some time with his friends. Since they both remembered Pomfrey’s advice on giving each other space.

Lily went out and James decided that it would be nice to take Rose out for a little walk. It was a bit windy but not cold, it seemed like it was all fine and with Rose babbling happily when at the trees around the lake he thought it was fine.

They went back in a bit later. Lily came back. James told her about the day they spent outside. Everything was fine.

Tuesday morning Rose was sick. Lily blamed him for taking her out in the first place, when madame Pomfrey told them that she could get sick easily.

This carried on for two weeks. Rose would seem like she was better only for her to get sick again. Things became even worse since they realised that she wasn’t growing. They tried to remember what the mediwitch told them, avoided arguments and instead, started walking on eggshells around one another. The better days were when Lily went out with her friends. The redhead told him that Rose seemed a bit better on days when he went out to get time to himself.

The third week James heard that parents were flooing into the school. Apparently Waltz idea of taking pictures of their projects wasn’t such a great idea and the professor spent most of the day in the headmaster’s office trying to set the minds of the parents at ease.

James was surprised that his parents didn’t show up. He half expected to get a howler from his father. But Euphemia only sent a letter, saying how cute Rose was before asking whether or not they made use of the potions book she sent them.

James lied in his reply and said yes, he didn’t have the heart to tell his mother that the thing was collecting dust in the kitchen drawer. She also wrote that they were excited to eventually meet Lily during Easter break… that’s around the time when James remembered that he had planned on inviting Lily to go home with him for Easter break. Now he’s… he’s not so sure anymore. So he lied again, writing to say that Lily’s parents were expecting her home so she wouldn’t be able to come.

Lily’s parents did in fact go into a slight panic. Though they didn’t show up at school, both the professor and headmaster had to send the couple letters explaining things in more detail so they wouldn’t try and remove their daughter from school.

Remus told him that he got a letter from his parents, just checking in on him. They knew their son well enough that he wouldn’t attempt to get anyone pregnant, especially considering his… condition. Werewolves are capable of having non-wolf children, but it’s always best to be safe than sorry and they knew Remus wouldn’t risk that.

He told James about Orion and Walburga Black visiting to see Narcissa. It seemed to be quite the ordeal. The Blacks clearly didn’t like him, but Remus at least expected that much. He was more worried about Abbey since she seemed so shaken up afterwards. Apparently, Snape stopped by. Remus didn’t really say much about the Slytherin’s interaction with the couple, only that Snape brought Alex over to play with Abbey afterwards and that seemed to make her feel better.

James remembered their conversation on Snape and felt himself frown.

“Did Snape get on with Sirius’ parents?”

Remus paused to look at him from his spot on his bed in the dorm. Sirius wasn’t there, James noticed that his invisibility cloak was gone again so he figured the Animagus was probably trying to keep himself busy with some mischief.

“What do you mean?”

“Did they even say anything to him?”

“…yes.”

James’ frown grew, “Yes?”

Remus sighed, “Cissa told them that Snape is paired up with Sirius, they saw Alex and-“

“Lost it?”

The werewolf said nothing, James sat up, the line of his brow creasing.

“What?”

“No they just talked that’s all.” Remus said shifting uncomfortably on the bed.

“They weren’t bothered that Snape is a halfblood?”

“No more than they were bothered by me.” Remus said with a shrug, “Besides, they disowned Sirius, remember?”

“Right.” James sighed, “Didn’t really give a toss, did they?”

The werewolf said nothing and James shook his head, “It’s a good thing Padfoot didn’t see them. That would’ve been an absolute mess.”

“Yeah.”

“What about Snape’s parents?”

“What about them?”

“Did they show up or something?”

“No.”

“Oh.” James felt oddly dissappointed, “Lily’s parents just wrote her. I guess I figured since Snape’s a halfblood, at least one of them would have shown up… Which one do you think is wixen, his mother or father?”

“What does it matter?”

“It doesn’t. I just realised that I never thought about it before. Snape definitely isn’t a wixen name so… his father must be the muggle, but he still ended up in Slytherin and he’s so obsessed with dark stuff. You’d think he comes from one of the twenty-eights, but that doesn’t really make sense. None of them would ever allow their heir to marry a muggle.” James went quiet when a thought suddenly came to mind and he looked over to his friend, “Hey, have you heard of Eileen Prince?”

Remus’ head snapped up and he looked at his friend, “No.” He answered shortly, James frowned at him but kept talking.

“My granddad told me about her… I mean, everyone knows about her. She broke Prince tradition and married a muggle, completely disappeared from the wizarding world. No one’s seen her in years.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, it just got me thinking cause, I haven’t heard of anyone else in the twenty-eights marrying a muggle. Just her.”

“Snape’s mother probably isn’t from one of those families. There are plenty of pureblood families that aren’t in the twenty-eights, right?” Remus offered and James shrugged.

“Right… yeah, that definitely makes more sense.” And then he scoffed, “It’d be mad though, wouldn’t it? If Snape was heir Prince?”

“Yeah, completely mental. How are things with Lily and Rose?” the werewolf said quickly.

James blinked, “I… they’re alright, I guess. Madame Pomfrey said Rose gets sick easily and she does, things have been a bit difficult.”

“Are you and Lily coping?” Remus asked and James fell back on his bed to stare at the canopy over it.

“Sometimes?” He dragged a hand over his face, “I don’t know. Sometimes I just… I feel like I keep bending over backwards and It’s never enough. And all that stupid arguing-”

“Do you ever apologise, James?”

“Why do I always have to apologise, Moony? Why does she always have to be right? She never does anything wrong, she’s always-“

“Perfect?” Remus scoffed as he pulled his legs underneath him on the bed, “I thought that’s why you like her. She’s so perfect, Moony, just look at her. Her eyes, her hair, her skin-“

James grabbed a pillow to throw at his friend. Remus laughed.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I… why can’t I be angry, when I find her studying instead of checking on Rose? Why is it O.K for her to be angry when I spend time with my mates? Why can’t I give her the potions recipes my Mum sent without her complaining and telling me to brew them myself?”

Remus paused, “Why don’t you brew them yourself?”

“Because I’m shit at Potions, Moony, you know that.” James huffed and Remus laughed.

“What’re the potions for?”

“Pregnancies, babies, housekeeping. Things Mum thought would help with this whole stupid thing.”

“Did you tell Lily that?”

“Yes.”

“And she still got upset?”

“She was fine when she thought they were just potions for… whatever, but when I told her they were for the assignment she got upset. I think she was pissed that she did the bearer portion. She’s still pissed about that, by the way.”

Remus shook his head, “I’m sure it’ll get better.”

“You know, I realised the other day that Lily never apologises, she always thinks she’s right and then I wonder what Snape liked about her.”

“Snape?”

James rolled his eyes, “You remember how creepy he was with her when they were still… friends. He was always around her; and you know what a difficult git Snape is. It didn’t annoy him that she always needs to be right? Did he just let her walk all over him so he can keep being creepy with her? Maybe he got off on it or something.”

“They were friends. I don’t think that’s what it was like. Besides,” Remus shrugged, “Snape’s can pretty reasonable.”

James scoffed and Remus rolled his eyes, “I’ve been around him lately, he’s only a git to you if you’re a git to him.”

“You’ve been spending too much time around snakes, you’re starting to sympathise with them.”

“I’m serious, think about it; has Snape ever hexed you or even… said anything to you, without you doing something first?” Remus asked and James frowned, “He basically ignores everyone around him.”

“You mean, the greasy git thinks he’s better than everyone else.”

“I mean, he doesn’t react unless you give him a reason to.”

James turned his head to look at the werewolf, “What about last year?”

“Last year?”

“Moony?” James said and Remus took in a deep breath before letting it back out.

“Sirius already took responsibility for that one, remember? My point is, if you stopped trying to attack Snape every chance you get, he probably wouldn’t care about anything that we did. He probably wouldn’t have tried to go to the shack that night, because he wouldn’t give a shit about anything that any of us is doing.” Remus shook his head and leaned on the closest banister on his bed, “Then again, maybe that’s the problem.”

James frowned and pushed himself up on his arms, “What?”

Remus’ lips pursed before he spoke, “Snape is reasonable when he wants to be. As for Lily, they were friends before they even got to Hogwarts. At this point, only they know why they were friends in the first place.” James just fell back on the bed again, while the werewolf continued. “I don’t think he was getting off to her doing anything.”

James shook his head again and Remus sighed, “Besides, she’s your girlfriend now right? If anyone should be getting off on this, it should be you.”

James glared at him, “You’re starting to sound like Sirius.”

Remus scoffed, “Where is he anyway? I come in here sometimes and he’s just… gone.”

“Who knows. I figured he’s probably sneaking off to go pranking or something.”

“We would’ve heard about that by now, if he was.”

James hummed, “I’ll ask him, next time I see him.”

James never got around to that and eventually he forgot to ask Padfoot where he was sneaking off to, if he was sneaking off at all.

The fourth week was the week of the full moon. Rose had stopped growing and James wanted to be there for Remus like he usually was… and maybe get away from everything for a bit. But the night of the full moon was the night Lily wanted to go see Dorcas and the others, he had no idea how he’d attempt that conversation since they were back to walking on eggshells again.

James had just stepped out into the hallway of the Hufflepuff quarters when he saw…

Snape and Alexander.

It’s the first time that he was actually able to see the child fully and… he was walking and talking. Pitch black bone straight hair down to his shoulders and pale skin slightly flushed as he attempted a glare at the wizard beside him. Steel grey and ocean blue eyes narrowed and his lips pulled into a pout.

“Papa!”

He whined and James couldn’t help but blink.

"Alexander calm down." Severus said as he hoisted the baby bag over his shoulder while he locked the door. "I know you're excited to play with Abbey, but we aren't even close to being late. Besides, Cissy is just a few doors away."

"But Cissy said I'll get ice cream today."

"And you'll get your ice cream." Severus said as he finally turned back and reached out his hand towards the boy. "After you finish dinner."

"But Papa-"

"No buts. Come on."

Alexander took his hand and Severus shook his head with a scoff just as he turned around only to tense up completely when he saw a figure watching him.

James froze as well. The sight was just so completely foreign that he didn’t know what to do with himself and Alexander was-

Remus was right, the boy had Sirius’ eyes but he also looked eerily similar to Snape. It’s the hair and his skin, the way he frowned and his eyes narrowed slightly before he moved in closer behind Snape, tugging at the Slytherin. Snape crouched down and picked him up.

The boy hid his face in Snape’s neck and Snape just started walking.

Clearly he planned on ignoring the Gryffindor. James felt the impulse to say something but he had no idea what to say. He didn’t know what he wanted to say. He was taken aback by how big Alexander was, how he was walking and talking while Rose was still stuck in week two. Maybe he wanted to complain, accuse the Slytherin of cheating. Ask him how he managed to get him growing so fast. Ask him how and why he managed to put up with Lily for so long-

That was a bad thought. Merlin he’s tired. Rose is sick again and James just managed to avoid turning it into another thing with Lily that morning.

Snape walked past him and James-

“Snape.” He called out, Snape stopped and to his surprise didn’t immediately try to hex him. Then again, maybe he wasn’t able to carrying both Alexander and a bag.

“Potter.” He started walking again and James called out again because-

Fuck, he doesn’t know why.

“Is Sirius around?”

Why did he ask that?

James doesn’t know, but it still got a response so maybe he was on the right track.

“No.” Snape kept walking until he made it to door number six. So he’s going to see Narcissa?

James wanted to ask something else but his mind drew a blank as for what. Instead he just watched as Snape waited for the door to open, stepped inside and it shut behind them.

What did he get from the conversation?

Sirius isn’t around and Snape seemed to be doing well. He’s doing well and he’s alone. Briefly James wondered how well he’d be doing if he was alone. If he did the assignment without Lily or Lily did it without him. Would that have changed anything? Made anything better? Probably not. There’s two of them dealing with one child and they’re barely coping. So how is Snape doing so well?

James kept staring at door number six.

He still looks good. James tried to keep his attention on Alex but he saw Snape and he still looks good. The Slytherin’s hair is down today. Looking almost identical to Alex’ hair, brushing against his shoulders and when the raven walked passed him James briefly picked up the scent of herbs. Something sweet and sharp that vaguely smelled like pine and… soap. The thought might have caused James to laugh but he didn’t really feel like laughing right then.

Snape looks good.

That’s weird thought, Merlin he really needs sleep. But tonight is the full moon and James wants to go. He needed to blow off some steam and going out as Prongs seemed like just right the thing to do. Sleep will have to wait.

He left for the shack later that night, much to Lily’s displeasure. She doesn’t know about Remus’ secret and James promised the wolf that he wouldn’t betray his trust. Especially after what Sirius did last year. He didn’t tell Lily about why he was going out, just that he needed to, promising to be back first thing in the morning. Promising that he’d look after Rose all day.

When James got to the shack, Sirius was already there as Padfoot. Remus was getting undressed and putting his clothes away. There were quick hello’s and general pleasantries before James turned into his stag form. It felt mercifully good, stretching out into his stag form and hopping back and forth for a bit.

Remus then took out a vial of… something and downed the whole thing. James wanted to ask but the wolf’s transformation came not too long after.

As always, James and Sirius both looked away, listening to the usual agonised cries of pain and breaking bones only… there were no cries. They heard the wolf’s bones pulling apart and snapping back together. James looked up since Moony was so worryingly quiet, only to immediately regret it.

Sweet Godric. He forgot just how horrifying it is to see those bones pushing up and against his skin, twisting and deforming while grey hair grew rapidly all over his body. But Remus was so quiet.

Once the transformation was complete, the wolf let out a few huffs but wasn’t panting and keeled over the way he usually was after his transformation. He stood up on his hindlegs and took in his surroundings, sniffing here and there. Padfoot went closer to the wolf to sniff and nuzzle at his side, Moony returned the favour before wandering off to the side. Over to the tattered sheets that made his makeshift bed.

He clawed at the rags, seeming confused for a moment as he sniffed around. Then he let out a bark and a whine, then threw his head back and let out a howl. James and Sirius shared a look, Padfoot jumped forward and nipped at the werewolf trying to encourage him to play. Moony swiped his arm at the large dog, not in an attack, merely in a gesture to go away and huffed before he howled again.

‘Moony, what’s wrong?’ James huffed, tapping his hooves on the floor. The wolf ignored him, growled and then started sniffing around. Until he eventually found the corner where Remus hid his clothes and pulled them out. He sniffed them and dropped them right on the floor, burying his snout in the jumper rolling his head from side to side.

Sirius barked and Moony let out a low growl. The grim’s head gave a tilt as he looked up at Prongs. Prongs only shook his head before he settled down in another corner of the room himself. Padfoot fell over dramatically and whined with his paws in the air. James wanted to laugh but Moony’s sudden growl had both the animagi going quiet. Sirius groaned as he rolled over and lay his head on his paws. James just lay down as well.

Until Moony finishes doing… whatever it is that he’s doing, he might as well get a little rest. He shut his eyes and was out with a light.

He came to in the morning, Remus was shaking him awake with a slight smile.

“Morning James.”

Morning?

Light had filled the space from the boarded up windows, filtering in through the wooden boards. He lifted his head and Remus flinched back, which is when James realised that he was still in his stag form. He slowly changed back, stretched his legs as he took his human form and let out a wide yawn. His legs feel a little numb, it feels like there’s a kink in his neck but he also feels really good.

“Morning.” He said as he stretched out on the floor.

Remus scoffed, “Padfoot headed out to the Great Hall for breakfast already.”

“Oh, are you going to the hall too or-“

“No, I need to get back to Cissa, in case she gets suspicious. Severus might still be there and I wanted to thank him.”

James frowned, “Thank him for what?”

Remus gave a sheepish smile, “He gave me a potion, for Moony.”

“A potion to do what?”

“To deal with the pain, so it doesn’t hurt as much when I change.”

James sat up. That’s what that was?

“Did it work?”

Remus smiled, “Yeah, I still can’t remember much about what happened but, I feel good.”

James’ frown grew, “Snape made it for you?”

“Yeah.”

“Why would he do that?”

Remus shrugged, “I think it was mostly for Narcissa, so she doesn’t figure me out. He said it’ll help me recover faster.”

“Seems like it works.” James’ frown grew as he pushed his glasses up his nose, “Is that why you were so weird last night?”

Remus paused, “Weird how?”

“You kept ignoring us, Moony wouldn’t play with Padfoot and you kept sniffing your own clothes.”

“My clothes? That explains why they were on the floor. But, my scent’s never bothered me before-“ Remus grabbed the end of his jumper and lifted it up to his nose to take a sniff, frowned and then he suddenly flushed as his eyes went wide. James’ head gave a tilt.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s… nothing.” He straightened out his clothes and looked away to drag a hand through his hair, “We should get back to the school.”

James continued to frown even as he got up to his feet, “I’m starving anyway. I think I slept through the whole night.”

“Padfoot says you did, he says he was bored out of his mind.”

James rolled his eyes, “Oh whatever, its not like he had anything better to do anyway.”

He went to the Great Hall feeling absolutely ravenous and found Padfoot there already. James was so busy eating he didn’t really do more than hum and nod while Sirius complained about how boring the night before was. He didn’t stay long.

He couldn’t stay long. He promised Lily that he would be back first thing and he planned on keeping his promise. After getting a whole night’s sleep and eating breakfast, James found himself in a great mood. So he went to pick up a basket of food to take back to room number one.

Lily shouldn’t be up, he can surprise her with breakfast in bed… sort of breakfast in bed.

Once he got to room number one, he hesitated before he opened the door and went inside. James set the basket of food on the table and then went to the bedroom, Lily was asleep. Hair tangled and scattered over the pillow beneath her head as she breathed deep in sleep. James couldn’t help but smile.

Things have been rough the past few weeks, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still fancy Lily. It’s just, well…

A frown spread over his lips just as Lily turned over to face the wall. There are things about Lily that he didn’t really see before that he’s starting to notice. She’s always been stubborn, independent and it’s not like James didn’t like any of these things. It’s not like he wanted some damsel in distress that would fall at his feet at his command. If he wanted that he could very easily find it somewhere else.

He just didn’t realise how stubborn she was, he didn’t realise just how much it would eventually begin to irritate him. Lily needed to be right, she needed to be in control, she needed things to go her way and if they didn’t, she’d get pissed and refused to speak with him.

It’s not like James expected things to be easy with Lily, things have never really been easy with her. It’s one of the reasons why he chased after her to begin with. But it’s been a while since they got together and it seemed like she expected him to keep chasing after her, do whatever he needed to do to please her and earn her infinite ire if he didn’t. And honestly, James is tired of chasing. Why can’t they just be together without all of that? Why can’t he just settle in? When will it be enough? Will it ever be enough?

The mugglestudies project just seemed to exasperate things.

Madame Pomfrey said it would be good to give each other space, and James is aware that part of the problem comes from the fact that they’ve been spending so much time together. Usually they were both occupied with classes and tests. Head boy and head girl duties. James had quidditch and his friends and Lily had hers. Even when they were together there were always other things to distract them from each other, it was rarely just them.

But now, the only other thing they have to distract them is Rose. Remus was usually busy with Narcissa and Abbey. Padfoot just seemed completely distracted by something. There was no quidditch practice, no classes, no tests. James could almost understand Lily’s need to start studying for the new term, if she didn’t seem to be ignoring Rose to do it.

And then there’s Rose, who gets sick so easily. The stress from not knowing what to do with the child left them both frustrated and tired. James could only imagine how much worse things would be if they had to do all this along with school.

James let out a sigh.

He told his parents that Lily can’t come for Easter break. After finally getting a full night’s sleep, James thinks he finally understands why.

He jumped when he heard Rose suddenly cry. Thankfully it didn’t sound like one of pain, so he shut the door to the bedroom and headed into the nursery to pick the girl up.

“Morning, Rosie. Shh, it’s alright.” He said quietly shushing her and smiling as bright hazel eyes stared back at him, “Hungry? We need to get you cleaned up first.”

About an hour later, James was at the kitchen table with Rose while Mopsy cleaned up around them. Rose was having puree butternut and mashed potatoes with peas and gravy.

Breakfast of champions.

The girl thumped her hands on the table and babbled incoherently after every bite and James would laugh every time she did.

He could do this. James can absolutely see himself doing this sometime in the future, after school ends. Things with Rose have been difficult but that hasn’t changed his mind on getting married and having a family someday. It’s just that-

The train of thought broke when Lily came into the kitchen, dragging her feet across the floor and yawning widely. She seemed to pause at the sight of James.

“Morning.”

“Morning, breakfast’s over there. Rose’s almost done with hers.” Lily nodded as she went over to the counter to pick up the plate of food that clearly had a warming charm on them. “There’s tea in the pot.”

“Hmm.”

The meal was quiet save for Rose’s little babbles. Mopsy popped out of the room once the cleaning was done and left them to it.

“What were you up to last night?” Lily suddenly asked and James looked back at her. Rose’s almost finished, just the mashed peas left now.

“I told you, Remus needed some help with something.”

“Help with what?”

“It’s private, Moony wouldn’t want me talking about it.”

The girl shook her head slightly, “Are you going out again tonight?”

“No, I promised I’d look after Rose today, didn’t I?” He said with a smile only to pause when he saw the look on the girl’s face.

“What was so important about last night, then?”

He shrugged, “It’s private Lily, I can’t talk about it. Not even with you.”

“Fine.”

Rose started to fidget a bit in her seat and James picked her up and out of it to sit her on his lap, “What do you plan to do for today?”

“Mary and Alice are busy these days but, Marlene said she’s be able to get out for a few hours.”

“Oh?”

Lily shrugged, “Floyd is four now, they’re having an easier time of it.”

James almost paused at her tone but just tried to move right passed it with a scoff, “They named theirs Floyd?”

“Pink Floyd, it’s a muggle band Marlene likes.”

“Really.” James shook his head as he bounced Rose on his knee a bit and the girl laughed, “Thought for sure Frank would want to name it something like Michael Crawler, you know the quidditch player?”

“Yes, well, Frank let’s Marlene make decisions from time to time. He doesn’t seem to be trying to turn her into a housewife.”

There it is.

James paused, “What?”

Lily glanced up at him before looking away, “Nothing, James.”

The hand James had on the table clenched, Rose let out a low whine and it all went downhill from there. Lily didn’t go out that afternoon, they were too busy arguing. It was all completely insane.

When did he say he wanted Lily to be a housewife? How would he even be able to manage to do something like that?! They’ve talked about graduation. Spoken about what they want to do once they finish. They avoided speaking about the war, their conversations were reserved to what they could do besides survive the potential oncoming the war. James wants to be an Auror and Lily said she wanted to get her Charms mastery. They didn’t go into too many more details than that. Lily said that she did want to get married and eventually have kids and James figured that, that was enough.

Apparently, he was wrong.

Apparently, leaving her home alone with a baby only to come back in the morning without an explanation for where he was and what he was doing, was the last straw.

But what was he supposed to do? He couldn’t tell Lily about Remus’ secret and he wasn’t lying about where he was or what he was doing. He went out for the full moon to help Moony, because they always went out with the werewolf to help him deal with his transformation. He tried to explain without fully explaining but that didn’t seem to matter.

He doesn’t even know how long they were arguing for when there was a knock at the door and it all came to an abrupt halt. Rose was crying. They took a break from arguing to check on her and realised she was sick yet again. A fever with coughs, another cold. The potions Pomfrey only helped so much, sometimes James wondered if they were even worth using.

Someone was knocking at the door.

James tried to breathe as deeply as possible to calm himself down while Lily went to answer. She seemed to freeze at whoever she saw. James went over to look and he ended up just feeling more annoyed when he saw that it was Snape, he was holding Alexander’s hand. That awful combination of Snape and Padfoot stared at them with stormy grey eyes filled with curiosity.

"Who is- fucking hell, what do you want?!"

Snape glanced at him before he spoke.

"How old is it?"

"What?"

"The... child. How old is it?"

James wanted to scream, because Rose is only two. She’s stopped growing and they were having trouble with her. Meanwhile Snape is all alone and he seems to be doing perfectly fine, like always.

"That's none of you-"

"Two." Lily interrupted and Snape nodded.

"So, a cold?"

"We asked madame Pomfrey for some potions but she didn't have anything specifically for babies and she said we should just use what we have."

Snape just looked away and started searching through the bag on his shoulder until he came back with three vials. He handed them to Lily, James came closer and just watched, he noticed the Slytherin glance at him briefly again.

"That's pain, that's fever and that's just a general flu potion. Half a teaspoon of each before feeding, no more than once every four hours." He cleared his throat, "If you have normal potions then it’s best to dilute them, no more than one drop each in the baby formula. That's what madame Pomfrey meant. But these potions are suited for babies so you won't have to do that. The uhm, flu potion should help it settle down and get some rest."

"Where did-"

"I made them."

Both Lily and Potter just stared at him, the crying from the rooms still going. Severus quickly moved to pick up Alex. "C'mon Alex."

Snape walked away.

"Bye-bye." Alexander called out.

Both he and Lily watched them go before she suddenly pulled back and shut the door before turning around towards the kitchen. James stayed quiet, saying nothing as Lily got the formula ready for Rose and then disappeared into the nursery.

James just sat down at the table, dragging a hand through his hair. Thinking about everything. He wanted to be angry at Snape for interfering, almost tried to stop Lily from giving Rose the potions. But if Moony took a potion from Snape and it seemed to help, then why shouldn’t he? Besides, seeing Snape with Alexander again made him realise something.

A few weeks ago he felt comfortable blaming Rose for the tension between him and Lily. They aren’t real so, since the assignments were the new variable, that must be the problem. But there was Snape, with a perfectly healthy looking four-year-old and he didn’t even have any help. He was alone, save for the elves that they all got of course. Snape seemed like he was doing fine.

He noticed and Lily noticed, that Rose usually seemed alright as long as just one of them was watching her. And he couldn’t pretend like he didn’t notice the tension whenever he and Lily are around each other these days.

“…try your best to avoid creating any tension around the baby. Children can sense distress and that could be distressing for them as well.”

That’s what Madame Pomfrey said.

They haven’t been doing well with that at all. So what should they do?

Lily came back into the kitchen sometime later, James had gotten up to make some tea by then. Found some treacle tart in the fridge and warmed it up. He needed something sweet to pick him up. She found him with the cup in his hands, the tea pot on the table in the middle.

Lily let out a soft sigh, went over to the table and pulled out a chair to sit down.

“She’s sleeping, the fever went down pretty quickly.” She said setting the vials of potion on the table. She let out a soft scoff, “I don’t know what Snape put in these, but I think she’ll be out for a few hours-“

“I’m not trying to turn you into a housewife.” James suddenly said and Lily looked up as he continued, “I like you the way you are, Lily. You know I want to get married and have a family someday and I want to do those things with you. But it doesn’t feel like that’s what you want.”

Lily sighed again as she reached out to the teapot to pour herself a cup. James watched her in silence. She didn’t say anything, even after fixing her tea and taking a sip.

“You said you wanted to have children-“

“I do.”

“Then what-“

“Not yet and not like this.” Lily said softly, “I told you, I wasn’t expecting it all to be so real. It caught me off guard, I’m not ready for all this. Not… yet.”

“I’m not either, but I’m trying my best. It feels like no matter what I do, it’s not enough and I’m tired of trying.” James took in a deep breath and let it back out, “I think we should take a break.”

Lily looked up, “A break?”

“We’ll finish the assignment and once it’s over we can start over again.”

Lily’s lips pursed, her eyebrows pulling together before she closed her eyes and brushed her hair from her face. James held his breath.

“Alright, we’ll take a break and then-“

“We don’t need to decide right now-“

“We’re in our last year, James and I want to live my own life once I graduate. I want to study and I want to travel. I want to get married one day, but not anytime soon and I can tell that that’s not what you want.”

“I don’t want to travel?”

“You don’t want to be un-settled.” Lily shook her head, “You asked me after we started dating, why I agreed to it. Especially after everything that happened with-with Snape.”

James frowned, “You said you were moving on.”

“Yes.” Lily nodded before letting out a scoff, “You know, you two are a lot alike.”

“Excuse me?”

She laughed, “Severus is… so intelligent and he’s curious about everything, he wants to learn about everything and I mistook that curiosity for being ‘adventurous’ but. He doesn’t like being un-settled, he prefers stability. He has a hard time trusting people because of that. Back then it seemed like I really was his only friend and that always felt so-“ She cringed, “Stifling. I felt suffocated and I felt guilty about it, because I knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose. I know it doesn’t seem like it but when Severus loves someone, he loves them ‘completely’ and I just felt smothered.” Another deep breath, “At the lake, when he called me a-“

“Lily-“

“He called me a mudblood and I was upset about it, of course I was, but that’s not why I stopped talking to him.” Lily shut her eyes, “I just, I didn’t want to be smothered anymore and… I finally had the opportunity to end it so, I took it.”

James blinked, “I…” He didn’t know what to say, it didn’t seem like he needed to as she continued.

“It was completely stupid and I regret not forgiving him, I miss him a lot but it’s too late for that now.” The girl huffed, “I agreed to go out with you because I thought things would be different. You’re always pulling pranks and getting into trouble, I thought things would be more exciting but… you’re a lot like him. Severus doesn’t want to be un-settled, he likes it when its calm and peaceful. Merlin, the first week we were together all you wanted to do was talk and hold each other and I couldn’t help but think that that’s exactly what Sev would want to do.”

James pushed his glasses up his nose, “Doesn’t seem very Slytherin of him.”

Lily scoffed, “Ambition is the desire for more. You don’t have to want the whole world, it’s enough to just want enough to hold in your hand.” She said, like she was repeating something that she’d heard as she reached over to take his hand. James shook his head.

“Lily-“

“I think a break is a good idea. Till the new term starts, at least.”

He closed his fingers around her’s, “And then what?”

“If you want to try again, we can.”

“Do you want to?”

“Yeah.” She said with a nod, “I just need you to be… more for me.”

James frowned again, he let go of her hand. Lily seemed to pause and frown as well at the movement, but still pulled her hand away.

“So, we’ll take a break.” She said clearing her throat as she got up from her seat to put the vials of potions away. “I think I’ll take today with Rose, and you’ll take over tomorrow?”

“…sure.” He said as he watched her turn back to the bedrooms and disappear into the nursery.

The next week went by in a blur. James was still trying to wrap his mind around their conversation, trying to decide what he thought of it but he didn’t really get much done.

The next day, they woke up and Rose was bigger.

Finally, three years old.

They were both stunned. For a brief moment James thought that it might’ve been the potions Snape gave them but he realised quickly enough that that couldn’t be it. Remus stopped by for a few minutes, James showed him the potions and the werewolf insisted that they were the same potions that he and Narcissa got from Snape as well.

But Rose is bigger, that’s all that really matters anyway.

Remus asked where Lily was, James just said that she was out. He didn’t tell the werewolf that they were on a… break. It didn’t seem necessary and Remus let the topic go quickly enough.

Rose was up, talking and walking. Giggling with the most adorable high-pitched laugh and running about every chance she got. She’d get sick once or twice but not nearly as often as before.

The conversations between him and Lily were easier, there was less tension. Somehow, talking about Rose and making decisions was easier when they weren’t actively trying to avoid causing damage to their relationship by arguing. Which didn’t happen as often anymore. With Rose speaking more, Lily seemed to spend more time talking with the girl. It was less odd around them and James even came back once to find Lily braiding the girl’s hair.

Things were better and as the days went on, James felt less and less sure of whether or not he wanted to end, their break. Their talk kept coming back more and more. Apparently, Lily thinks that he’s a lot like Snape.

That thought made him feel, strange.

First year, second year, third and fourth and fifth and sixth. James was perfectly comfortable thinking of the Slytherin as a slimy greasy evil git and, really, there’s no reason for that to change is there?

But it felt odd and distracting, thinking of Snape the way that Lily described him.

Intelligent? Sure. Curious, well there was the incident with Moony…

But loving? Peaceful?

How?

The Slytherin very obviously didn’t trust very easily and… he didn’t really have much reason to trust James at all, did he? No, he didn’t.

But he trusted Lily once, maybe he still does and back then at least; he did seem to care for her. He was always around her, now he’s not.

Lily said he made her feel suffocated. James could see that. He tried to think of himself, how he would feel with someone who was around him like that.

There’s the marauders of course, but they share a dorm and they’re his best mates. That’s different, isn’t it? He has Quidditch with Pads and classes with Remus and Peter. It would be difficult to spend extended periods of time away from them. But… Snape’s a Slytherin so, really he only spent time with her in class and between periods. Maybe on the weekends, that didn’t seem like that much.

Then there is the summer. Lily and Snape live near each other. Maybe Snape spent every day of the summer with her or something.

James paused.

Before Padfoot started living with them, James spent his summers and other holidays with only his parents, or grandfather on occasion. He loves his family, but he was always so excited to get back to school to see his friends.

The manor feels lonely sometimes. It might’ve been better, if he had a few siblings, but his parents struggled so much to bring him into the world; one Potter heir seemed like enough. When Sirius started staying with them things were infinitely better. They were spending even more time together, he never felt smothered.

Well, Snape is… Snape, maybe that’s what it is.

These thoughts would continue to swirl in his head.

Rose got even bigger, four years old. She seemed a bit shy around strangers when they took her into the Great Hall for dinner but, James thought they were doing quite well. But of course, the stray thought would creep into his head sometimes…
How old is Alexander by now?
But that’s mostly because Sirius suddenly never seemed to be around. Not even during meals. He still saw Remus and Narcissa from time to time. Abbey seemed to be growing quite well and James became… concerned with the lovestruck look he’d see in Moony’s eyes.

He decided that he’d need to have a talk with the werewolf about that.

Remus can’t honestly be developing feelings for Narcissa could he? Narcissa Black? She’s engaged to Malfoy for goodness sakes and more than that, she’s a Slytherin!

Although…

In fairness to Moony, James still decided to knock on Snape’s door even though he’s a Slytherin.

Week six, he decided to knock on Snape’s door.

Why?

Because Remus was busy, Sirius was nowhere to be found and Lily was looking after Rose for the day.

So why not go see Frank or literally anyone else?

Because he ‘wanted’ to see Snape.

He hadn’t seen the Slytherin around since he gave them the potions for Rose.

… There was the incident in the hallway when Lily got sick. But that whole episode felt something like a fever dream and James would prefer it if he never had to think of it again.

He hasn’t seen Snape in a while, James has been driving himself crazy with the need to just see him.

It occurred to James that he’s never been even remotely nice to Snape before. A spiteful – childish – voice in the back of his mind would hiss, ‘why should we’ and James would shut that voice up as quickly as possible.

What Remus said was true. Snape never attacked or said anything to them unless they had done something first. It occurred to him that he didn’t really have a reason to still be meddling with Snape and yet he continued to do so… on almost a daily basis. It occurred to him that Remus was right about the other thing too.

Snape didn’t really look all that different from how he was before. He looked a little cleaner, a little healthier but otherwise-

Shit.

It occurred to James that he may have a similar problem as Remus. Or a worse problem, depending on how you think about it.

So James knocked on Snape’s door, just so he could see him again and he did.

The door opened with Snape’s hair up and his skin flushed as he smiled and scooped up the child that had answered the door.

James felt his face warm with a blush and almost froze as those endlessly dark eyes fell on him. He opened his mouth and like an idiot he asked the dumbest question.

“Is Sirius here?”

James wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there only to be thrown for a loop when he discovered that Padfoot… was indeed there.

What the hell…

When and how did-

What is he doing here?!

Wait… the fever dream in the hallway.

Padfoot took Snape to the infirmary because he was sick and Sirius mentioned that he decided to actually take part in the assignment. Bloody hell, he completely forgot about that, then again he was a bit distracted at the time. Lily passed out just moments earlier. He left Rose with Alice since the brunette had been there to visit Lily at the time anyway, when the redhead dropped right there at the kitchen table.

He picked Lily up and hurried to the Hospital Wing only to run into Sirius, carrying Snape in his arms.

Snape was passed out, flushed. He seemed to have whatever it is that Lily had.

Padfoot made a joke.

“Wanna switch?”

James paused and actually thought about it. Sirius was joking of course he was but for a moment he almost considered it. If he was paired with Snape how different would things have been then? Probably not all that different, but Snape was doing so well with Alex and seemed to always be brewing potions and his skin looks so pretty now-

Only for the animagus to bring him back and bring attention to the fact that it was a joke.

It’s an embarrassing memory.

And now he remembers that Padfoot told him that he was helping Snape and James felt… off about that.

Padfoot suggested that they get together, so the next night, he went to spend time with his friends. Which is when Sirius mentioned that he planned on going to Hogsmeade with Alex and Snape, Remus said that he’d need to run it passed Narcissa first and James decided not to invite himself.

Though things between him and Lily were better they were still a bit fragile. Remus then decided that they could meet back up at school and sit in the courtyard together instead.

When James got back he ran the idea passed Lily, who stopped for a moment before giving a smile and a nod.

Friday was… well, a lot happened. And James isn’t just talking about how Alexander lost it completely and attacked Rose.

He turned into what seemed to be a puppy version of Padfoot and attempted to maul the girl’s face off. James still doesn’t know what that was about. Rose seemed fine afterwards but Sirius and Snape had to take Alex back inside to calm him down. Lily was upset, which honestly, why wouldn’t she be?

How did he even transform like that anyway? Was he an Animagus, already? That doesn’t make sense.

When James asked Sirius about it a bit later in the hallway of the Hufflepuff dorms, Sirius said that Alex didn’t like her. He didn’t explain why, just apologised for what happened. As for turning into a puppy Padfoot, Sirius said that he made the mistake of turning into Padfoot in the boy’s presence. How did Alexander pull that off? Sirius had no idea, but apparently he’s been doing it for days.

They were still talking when Snape stepped out a moment later.

“Is he alright?” Sirius asked as the Slytherin nodded and brushed his hair behind his ear.

“He’s fine. He doesn’t want to talk about it.” Snape then looked at James and let out a deep breath.

“Is Rose alright? She isn’t injured, is she?”

“No, no she’s fine.” James scoffed, “I left her playing with Lily. I’m not sure if she even realises that anything bad happened.”

Snape nodded, “I apologise for Alexander, he isn’t usually like that.”

“Its fine. Uhm, about the-” James pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “It was fun, riding with you earlier.”

Snape blinked and a light blush spread across his face. James couldn’t help but smile.

“If you’re ever up for it, we should do that again sometime.”

Snape’s blush darkened as he looked away, “I should check on Alex.” He said as he turned and went back inside, shutting the door behind him.

James was actively trying to stop himself from grinning, he’s never gotten that reaction from the Slytherin before-

“James.”

Sirius’ eyes were narrowed in suspicion, a frown pulled at his lips.
James cleared his throat.

“Yeah?”

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

Sirius continued to stare at him, “Severus doesn’t like flying.”

“He seemed alright with me earlier.” James ended up pulling his lip into his mouth as he glanced over to the door, he was trying so hard to squash his smile.

Sirius’ frown grew, “Like I said, Alex is fine. You can go now.”

“Right, sure.” James said as he turned back, “I’ll see you Tuesday, then?”

“That’s when the assignment ends.” Sirius shrugged and James nodded.

“See you then.”

With that he walked away with that image of the Slytherin’s flushed skin in his mind. Something new and different blooming in his chest. Something almost hopeful.

And now Snape is with him in room number one, preparing potions ingredients because James is a clueless prat that almost set the kitchen on fire when he tried to brew alone.

He’s almost grateful that he’s so bad at potions.

“Potter.”

His head snapped up to find the Severus staring at him with a slight frown pulling at his lips and James realised that he must have spaced out.

“Sorry, what?”

Severus stared at him for a brief moment, those dark eyes seeming to gleam with confusion before he spoke.

“I’m not doing this for you, remember?”

“Oh right.” James said, he walked over to the kitchen table and Severus stayed still right until the Gryffindor was beside him, which is when he took a step back. James pretended like he didn’t notice as he let his eyes scan over the prepped ingredients on the table. Bloody hell, it all looks so neat and organised, for a moment he almost felt afraid to touch any of it.

“So, what do I do?”

Severus took in a deep breath and brushed a stray lock of hair away from his eyes and behind his right ear. Which is good since James felt the most unbearable itch in his hand to just reach over and do that himself.

“Light the burner, it needs to heat to a simmer. I already added the purified water. Once the burner is lit immediately start stirring the water clockwise, slowly, while you start to add the ingredients.”

James followed the Slytherin’s instructions. He used his wand to light the burner beneath the cauldron just beside the kitchen table. He noticed Severus tense for a split second and shook his head as he set his wand down and started stirring the water.

“You don’t need to keep doing that, you know.”

“Doing what?”

“I’m not going to hurt you. I told you that yesterday, remember? Before we went flying and I kept my word. I didn’t try to throw you off my broom or anything, why try and hurt you now?”

Severus folded his arms over his chest, “For whatever other reason, that you decided that you needed to harm me before.”

James almost stopped stirring, “Alright, but I’m not going to. I meant what I said, I’m sorry for everything that happened before. I really would like for us to be friends.”

Severus just stared back at him, his hands clenching against his arms for a brief moment before he spoke. “Add the slices of valerian root one at a time, but don’t stop stirring.”

James did just that even as he spoke, “I know it seems like it’s coming out of nowhere but, I’ve been talking to Lily about you and she seems to think that we’d get along great if we just tried.” Severus scoffed as he just kept watching the potion and James felt a smile pull at his lips, “And I mean, we’re almost in our last year of school. I figured I might as well give it a try.”

“Why?”

“Why not?” James cleared his throat once he dropped in the last slice, “I don’t have anything to lose from trying and I thought, at the very least, I could try and make up for the stuff that happened before. Especially after the thing with Remus and what happened at the lake with Lily-“

“Add the porcupine quills.” Severus’ interrupted. James didn’t look up for fear of losing his nerve as he reached for the quills.

“Things got completely out of hand, so; I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me just yet but… I really had fun with you yesterday, I’d like to be able to spend more time with you, if you’re up for it.”

“Eucalyptus leaves next. After that you immediately add the rest; one at a time, except for the dragon’s blood.”

Severus then went quiet, James still didn’t look up as he worked. He wondered what the Slytherin was thinking, if he believed the Gryffindor and what he thought about it if he did. James wasn’t even really sure about what he wanted from the raven. Friendship felt like the right first step, he liked having a reason to approach the other without needing to explain himself and maybe…

Maybe that’s what it’s always been like.

But James didn’t want to think about that. Wanting to make peace with the raven is one thing. The idea that he may have subconsciously been pulling at the Slytherin’s proverbial pigtails for six years, is something that he doesn’t want to even begin to consider.

It felt good being around Snape and not arguing with him over whatever stupid thing they started to argue about. He realised that the day before. Just being able to speak with him without instinctively trying to find fault with whatever it is that he said or did. It felt different, seeing him play with Alexander – his supposed child – and seeing him laugh and smile so much. Remus seemed to be getting along with him and bloody hell, even Sirius was making an effort. So why can’t he?

He realised the day before that he could see why Narcissa and Regulus both chose to spend time around the raven. How they would look passed his blood status and just be in his presence. James realised that if anyone ‘he’ was acting like the blood supremacist, finding fault with every single thing that the halfblood did purely because the halfblood was doing it.

James still feels odd about the dark magic stuff. The knowledge that Severus had some darker interests is something that is still very present in his mind, but for the moment that didn’t really matter.

Could a dark wizard really laugh and play with a child the way that Severus did with Alexander? James doesn’t think so. That’s a question that he’ll need to ask the Slytherin someday… later once they’re more comfortable around each other, once James has figured out exactly what it is that the raven makes him feel. For now-

“You need to add the dragon’s blood now.”

James almost jumped, but recovered quickly as he reached out for the bottle of blood with one hand and popped the cork with his thumb. He was just about to tip the bottle over when his arm was suddenly grabbed.

“Stop.”

James looked up to see the Slytherin right beside him.

“Don’t add it in too quickly.” James let his arm relax in the grip of those long pale fingers just as Snape let out a sigh.

“Stir counter-clockwise, very slowly three times. Carefully put in one drop and keep stirring five times before stirring clockwise again.”

James heard the instructions, but they didn’t fully filter in. Severus was still holding his hand and briefly, James could catch that same scent from before. Something sweet and almost sharp, like pine and… soap, he mentally cursed his Animagus abilities since he was sure that Prongs is the one drawing his attention to the scent.

Dark eyes went up to lock onto his own before rolling dramatically as he let go of James hand.

“Wait, sorry, I… can you just say that again?”

A huff and the Slytherin shook his head before he stepped up right against James’ side, taking hold of the hand the Gryffindor had gripping the stirrer in the potion and moved for him. Stirring very slowly counter-clockwise. James noticed his head bob slightly with each stir.

One.

Two.

Three.

“Add the dragon’s blood, carefully.” Severus instructed and James tipped the bottle over into the cauldron, letting just one drop fall inside before he started stirring clockwise.

James set the bottle down, sure that he’d just end up dropping the whole thing in the potion if he didn’t.

He was suddenly brought back to the day before.

The feeling of the Slytherin’s heart racing in his chest as he kept his back pressed against James’ chest. The heat that seemed to resonate between the two of them as they went soaring up into the sky. And Severus’ scent, mingling in with the smell of the clouds as a pale hand reached up to drag its fingers through the vapours of water and air.

And lastly the soft gasp that left Severus throat just as they went tumbling to the ground.

Severus was bobbing his head as he stirred five times before he started stirring clockwise again.

“There, you keep stirring clockwise until it turns green. Once that happens you leave it to simmer, you’ll know that its ready once it turns a dark blue. Turn off the heat and let it cool.” He pulled back only to stop when James quickly reached out with his free hand to keep the hand on his own exactly where it was.

Severus’ head snapped up and he frowned.

“Potter-“

“I really meant what I said.”

The Slytherin stared back at him for a moment, seeming to make some kind of a decision before he let out a sigh.

“Fine, I suppose being more civil with you may… make things easier.”

James smiled just as the raven spoke again.

“I am… willing to forgive you, but that does not mean that I have forgotten anything.” He said clearly, “Simply that I am willing to be more civil towards you, provided that you show me the same curtesy.”

“I’m more than willing.”

“Fine.” He pulled loose from James’ grip and stepped back, James could feel the raven’s warmth leave him. Severus looked away to pull out his wand and cast a quick tempus. “I need to go. Alex and Sirius should be back soon.”

“Sirius? You’re calling him by his name?” James couldn’t help but frown and Severus looked very close to rolling his eyes.

“Yes, Potter, I am.”

“Then you should call me James.” Severus stopped to look at him, “And I’ll call you Severus, if that’s alright.”

The raven paused before he started walking again, making his way out. “Do whatever you want.”

The door closed behind him. James took in a deep breath and let it out as he kept stirring the potion, it slowly turned green so he pulled the stirrer out to set aside when-

“Father?”

He looked over to the doorway to see that Rose was awake, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she stood with her white blanket and James smiled. He wiped his hands on the nearest dishcloth and went over to pick the girl up.

“Awake already?”

“Mhmm.” She nodded as James brushed the tangled red hair away from her cheeks. She sprouted up to five years old just that morning, but still seemed a little younger than some of the other kids. “Where’s mother?”

“She went out, but she promised to be back for bedtime. Would you like something to eat?”

“Yes.” She said politely and James took her over to sit her down on the couch. Just as he set her down however, her nose wrinkled and her head gave a tilt.

“Was Alex’s Papa here, Father?”

James stopped, “Yes he was, how did you guess that?”

She shrugged, pulling the blanket up over herself and James’ head gave a tilt.

“Do you like Alex, Rose?”

“Hmm.” She nodded, “He doesn’t like me, but that’s O.K.”

James frowned, “Why doesn’t Alexander like you?”

Rose looked up at the wizard and her head tilted this way and then that and then-

“Children are silly things.”

“What?”

Rose blinked and then smiled, “Mother said that you got a letter this morning. Did you see it?”

James’ frown grew, “No, I didn’t.”

“Mother said its from someone called Charlus.”

James blinked, “Oh? Where did she put it?”

“On the shelf. Can I have chicken for dinner?”

“Sure. We’ll head out soon, I promise.” He said as he leaned over to press a kiss on the girl’s forehead and headed over to the kitchen. The potion had already turned blue, so he put out the light on the burner. They can go out to the hall to grab dinner, first he needs to find that letter.

James’ grandfather owled to check on him, asking why his ‘muggleborn girl’ wouldn’t be joining them for Easter. The Gryffindor chaser wanted to groan in misery, he spoke about Lily so often to the man, that he expected James to bring her home as his new lady Potter. He almost seemed more excited about it than James himself. It had been agonising writing back to explain that things between him and Lily didn’t seem to be working out, but at the same time James felt somewhat relieved as well.

He hasn’t told anyone about their break, being able to tell someone about it made him feel a little bit better. James even decided to ask his grandfather for some advice concerning Severus, just some questions on how to make things right between him and the Slytherin since they had some tension between them

James found the envelope on the shelf in the living room and quickly tore it open.

My Dearest Jimmy

It pains me to know that things between you and Miss Evans have not developed the way that you had hoped. She sounded like quite the formidable young woman and I was looking forward to meeting her. However, there is no need to pine over lost loves. You’re a handsome intelligent and gifted young man, there are plenty more lords and ladies who would consider themselves more than lucky to have you. As the muggles like to say, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Now, as for this halfblood you told me about. This, Severus Snape. It shouldn’t be too difficult to gain the boy’s favour. I don’t know what transpired between you but, I’m sure that with a bit of effort you’ll be able to work your way into his good graces. There are very few who can resist the classic Potter charm, after all.

That being said, you know I always like to help you in every endeavour that you undertake. I’ve contacted a friend at the Ministry, to find out a bit more about the boy. He may be a halfblood, but all magical children must be registered at birth. It wouldn’t hurt to find out a bit more about his wixen half. I’ll write you again if I find any useful information about him.

I look forward to seeing you next week. We may only have a few days before you’ll have to return to school again, but I’m sure we’ll be able to make good use of that time.

Give my regards to Sirius, make sure he isn’t getting up to too much mischief while you’re still at school.

Love

Father Charlus