yeah rip his insides
groupchat: king bart’s birthday party
(4:12pm)
sirius: who’s ready to party bitchesss!!
marlene: ME ME MEEE
james: peter sirius is everything nearly ready?
sirius: yup
peter: we have everything ready
peter: just waiting for you to come back with the food, if you are still in the shop can you buy me some cheese i forgot to put it on the list :)
james: sure pete as long as you promise to not make drunk me eat it again you know i’m lactose intolerant
peter: i promise
james: ok what kind???
peter: blue cheese please!!
james: okie dokie
remus: you like blue cheese?
peter: yeah why?
remus: i have never met anyone who likes blue cheese
remus: has anyone else?
dorcas: nope never
lily: peter is the first
mary:^^
remus: i rest my case
james: WHY IS ALL THE BLUE CHEESE MOULDY
sirius: idk james must be a curse
james: WHO WOULD CURSE CHEESE?!
sirius: i was joking
sirius: blue cheese is supposed to be mouldy gives it flavour or something
james: G R O S S
remus: exactly. gross
peter: :(
lily: we are sorry peter but it’s yuck
peter: :((
marlene: nooo pete we are sorry
dorcas: sorry peter
mary: sorry peter
sirius: sorry peter
james: sorry peter
lily: REMUS?
remus: sorry peter
peter: it’s ok everyone :( i understand
james: i’m on my way!
sirius: i HATE when it autocorrects omw to “on my way!”
james: i didn’t type omw ?
sirius: are you tell me you purposely wrote “on my way!” ??
james: yes is that a problem
sirius: YES. YES IT IS
remus: wtf is going on rn
lily: who knows
(4:56pm)
mary: we are nearly at your dorm!
peter: yayy
peter: king bart is excited to meet all of yous
marlene: IM SO EXCITED
groupchat: marauders🫡
(5:58pm)
padfoot: WORMY WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME MARYS FRIEND REMUS WAS HOT
wormtail: i didn’t know i’ve never met any of her friends before!!
wormtail: and stop texting about him he is right next you. be social!
padfoot: fiiinneee
prongs: lily is very beautiful
padfoot: awww does prongsie have a little crush
prongs: i’m going to go talk to her
padfoot: good luck you’ll need it
wormtail: STOP TEXTING!!
padfoot: 🫡
padfoot: LETS GO SMASH THEM IN BEER PONG
wormtail: after we do king barts cake!!
padfoot: TO THE KITCHEN
groupchat: who invited remus?
(8:34pm)
ginger: cam sonome pls sabe me from james
ginger: he keepps talkimg about hinself
ginger:like i dont kare about ur foootbal game
meanbitch: we cant. me dorkas remis siri and Mary are in an mario kaart game
ginger: fine i’m gonna fimd peete and kimg fart
meanbitch: HA fart
ginger: bart**
(12:06am)
dorcas: everyone say their goodbyes we are leaving now !!
girlboss: yes parent :(
ginger: naww ok :((
wolfboy: fime. only bevause i’m a goood kidy i’m on my way!
wolfboy: ffs
meanbitch: noioooooio i’m habing fun
dork: we have to go we have assignments we need to do tomorrow and you are all going to have a massive hangover
meanbitch: fine only becsuse i lobe you
dork: i lobe you to marlene
meanbitch: <4
meanbitch: <3*
dork: nah <4 is cute
meanbitch: <4
wolfboy: don’t forrget to say hapy bday to kimg bart!!
girlboss: HAPPU BERTHDAY!!!!’
wolfboy: TO the rat nott mee
meanbitch: hahakahka your a rat remmy BAHAKjvNam get it lik remmy from ratatouilllee
(meanbitch changed wolfboy’s name to remmy)
remmy: fuck you guys
girlboss: you wisj
girlboss: wish**
groupchat: king barts birthday party
(2:39am)
james: PETER YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET GIVING ME CHEESE
peter: rip
sirius: yeah rip his insides