Peter Pettigrew
One word. One syllable. Three letters. One answer. One reason.
Why?
Simple enough, right?
Yet, Peter Pettigrew never figured out why he betrayed his friends. The only thing he knew was that he did it…but the reason why—he would never know.
He acted more than he thought, and the next thing Peter Pettigrew knew was that he was serving the Dark Lord and betraying the Order. Deep down, Peter knew it was wrong, and that he should not be doing this, yet he didn't stop himself. Despite the fear, despite the bad feelings and the shame, nothing would have stopped Peter Pettigrew from carrying out his plan. The idea first seemed completely crazy to Peter—absolutely senseless and horrible. Yet, he couldn’t keep it out of his head. It haunted him—tortured him—and before he could think further of it, suddenly the usual useless and clumsy Peter grew into the cold, calculated and sneaky double-agent of the Dark Lord. No one saw this shift in him—not even himself. Why am I doing this? Peter would ask himself. Why? But the more Peter thought, the less he understood his decisions. And so, he acted. Acted, did what he was ordered, obeyed. Meeting, mission, informing, betraying, listening—rinse and repeat.
The night after the Dark Lord asked him the location of the Potters and their baby, Peter had a dream. A nightmare—rather.
“Why, Pete?”
It was James. He was crying—sobbing. Peter could hear Harry cry upstairs, and Lily had just shut a door. James was completely defenseless in the dark of Godric’s Hollow’s living room—no wand or weapon in hand. Peter had his wand to James' forehead.
“Why?” James was screaming now.
Peter opened his mouth, but of course nothing came out.
And, then, Peter began to think.
Maybe it was the sense of purpose that it gave him. Maybe it was the fact that, for once, Peter Pettigrew was truly useful to a concrete cause. Or, maybe, it was an act of rebellion—of vengeance. But what for? Yes, James, Sirius and Remus had sometimes regarded his opinions and thoughts, but there were still his friends—his best friends. Did they deserve to be backstabbed? Were they the ones that Peter wanted to betray? Or was it Dumbledore? The Ministry? An act of rebellion against no one? Was he doing this to himself—for himself?
In the end, Peter didn’t answer James. He didn’t and, instead, acted. He fired the spell—the green light glowing up the room— and woke up in screaming, drenched in sweat.
Of course, Peter Pettigrew did not kill James and Lily Potter—the Dark Lord did. Peter, instead, was the coward who gave away their location, where they were supposed to be safe and sound. However, deep down, Peter knew he was the one who was responsible for their deaths. He may not have fired the spells himself, but his revealing words were the reason why James and Lily Potter died at the hands of the Dark Lord.
Why did he do it? Nobody knows—and nobody ever will—not even Peter Pettigrew himself.