Chapter One
The early July 11th sun was rising over the rowhouses of Islington, London, bleeding away the grey hues of the sky to brilliant basking rays of yellow, turning the faint glare in the windows down the street to white.
The bedroom window on the fifth floor of the concealed building—12 Grimmauld Place—was open, letting in the sounds of the engines in the double-decker buses, the barking of dogs, the cooing of pigeons, and the noises of other such early risers.
“I love Muggle London,” Sirius Black said. He was standing beside Remus Lupin, who was sitting on the edge of the windowsill, relieving the pre-transformation ache in his long legs and drinking a cup of tea, looking out over the soft summer morning in the city.
Remus turned to him; Sirius’ dark eyes were shining with the bright sun’s rays as it rose over the adjacent roofs, and he gazed upon the borough with a peaceful smile.
“I know you do,” Remus said softly, and took a sip of his tea, watching the way the sun lit Sirius’ dark locks to look as if it were a stream of flowing onyx waters.
“Camden, then? Or Hackney?” Remus said with a soft smile, “Notting Hill, perhaps?”
Sirius turned away from the view outside of the window to meet Remus’ gaze, “Eh?”
“I was wondering where we ought to live,” Remus said, “when the war is over. When we do not need to stay at Headquarters any longer. Where do you want to live, Sirius?”
Sirius smiled, rubbing the back of his neck, “Oh, I don’t know, Moony…”
“I know you’ve thought about it,” Remus said gently.
Sirius nodded, his eyes becoming wistful, “Yeah, alright, I have…”
Remus waited, sipping his tea and admiring the way Sirius’ face looked as he thought of dreams and hopeful things.
“I rather thought we’d go back to Hope’s Cottage,” Sirius said after a moment, “The open countryside and woods nearby for Padfoot and the wolf…the garden to teach Teddy how to fly a broomstick…”
Remus smiled wryly, “Surely it’s too quiet for you? No bustling vintage markets, no concert venues, no Chinese or curry shops…”
Sirius met Remus’ eyes again and Remus saw clarity there.
“I’ve had quite a great deal of noise in my life, Moony,” Sirius said, “Hope’s Cottage—it reminds me of the first home I ever had. With James, when the Potter’s took me in. And it’s the place where you came from. The place where we first took over care for Harry, and the place where we soon will be married. It’s full of magic, Moony. It’s where I want to live. You and Teddy and I.”
Remus reached his hand not holding his tea cup out to meet Sirius’, interlacing their fingers.
“Then we shall,” Remus said softly, “when the war is won, we shall live there.”
Sirius leaned in and kissed Remus on the lips, smiling widely as he broke the kiss and said, “Not that I don’t think we’ll take trips into London for the little tyke—he’s got to see the museums and such.”
Remus chuckled softly, “Oh yes, the museums and such.”
“And also Carnaby Street. And Brick Lane. And the Christmas markets. Oh, and Regent’s Park…”
“Of course, Sirius,” Remus told him, and he tugged lightly on their held hands and pulled Sirius back in for a deeper kiss.
“Right—that’s the water boiling,” Harry Potter said later that same evening as he stared into the roiling bubbles in the pot, the steam misting his glasses. Only a few short weeks, and he could boil water by magic, he thought, and then he’d better be off…
But Harry reminded himself that there would be time to think of his nearing task when he next saw Ron and Hermione; right now, he had quite another job to do.
“’paghetti!” A little voice chirped by Harry’s shoulder.
Teddy was standing on a chair by the stove, holding up the cardboard box of spaghetti. He was imitating Harry at the moment—his hair short, black, and standing up at the back; a lightning bolt scar on his forehead; his eyes almond-shaped and bright green.
“Excellent, thanks Teddy,” Harry said, taking the box and dumping its contents into the pot and beginning to stir with the laddle.
“Well done, you two,” Tonks said from the kitchen table where she was skimming over the Daily Prophet, “Top marks in Chemistry of Cooking. I told Sirius you didn’t need another adult here while he and Remus were gone—you’re practically of age, Harry, you don’t need a sitter on top of watching Teddy.”
“I like your company,” Harry said, turning away from the pot to smile at her.
Tonks’ hair was her favorite color of bubble-gum pink, a pixie cut, and she set aside the Daily Prophet with a tsk of her tongue and a cheeky grin.
“Me too, Harry,” she said, “and Teddy’s ‘o ‘course.”
Shortly, the spaghetti was cooked enough and Tonks Summoned a jar of tomato sauce from the pantry, letting Teddy pour it over the noodles, and they sat down to eat their pasta.
“Here, let me cut the noodles short for you,” Harry said to the toddler, taking Teddy’s bowl and cutting the long spaghetti so it was short enough for the child to manage with his little fork.
“Ta,” Teddy said brightly and Tonks snorted with laughter.
“Ah, he spends too much time with adults,” she said, ruffling Teddy’s already untidy hair.
Harry’s brow furrowed a bit and he considered the toddler sitting next to him at the table, “Do you really think so?”
Tonks chewed her pasta for a moment before saying, “Well, it is what is it, innit? War time and all…reckon when it’s past, he’ll get to be a proper kid. Go to the park and such. That’s what kids do, right? Blimey…guess I spend quite a lot of time with adults too.”
Harry tried to smile back at her but found it a bit of struggle. The question of ‘when’ the war would be over was plaguing upon him…it all came down to when Harry could destroy the Horcruxes…and then confront Voldemort…
Harry turned to look once more at Teddy. The child's eyes were bright as he concentrated on his fork and his pasta. How many more childhoods, how many more young lives, would be weighed down…disturbed…taken…by the threat or presence of war? A war which Harry had such a large role in ending...
Suddenly there were footsteps on the basement stairs and Tonks and Harry both instinctively rose to their feet, withdrawing their wands from their pockets. No members of the Order were expected to check in tonight, but it was not uncommon for one of them to show up unannounced, seeking a refuge or to send a report to Mad-Eye.
Sirius Black stepped down the last stair and entered the kitchen, smiling brightly at them all.
“Padfoot!” Teddy cried, bouncing in his seat.
“Go on,” Sirius said to Tonks and Harry, waving at Teddy.
“What is Teddy’s born surname?” Harry asked.
“Marrok,” Sirius said with a nod, “And he’ll be keeping it as his middle name once I amend the papers, o' 'course. That, right there,” Sirius said, pointing at the toddler who was now imitating Sirius’ features, “is the soon-to-be named Edward ‘Teddy’ Marrok Black Lupin.”
“How was it with Bill?” Tonks asked curiously as she and Harry lowered their wands and took their seats at the table.
Sirius waved a hand casually, “It really was quite a bit of a stretch that Padfoot might be needed for Bill's first Full Moon. He had no effects besides a bit more energy than usual, and a mad amount of hunger. He just about ate three bloody steaks before Fleur decided I wasn’t needed.”
“Still, good to know,” Tonks said with a shrug.
“There’s spaghetti still in the pot,” Harry told his godfather brightly.
“Ta,” Sirius said and Tonks snorted again.
“I’ll take Teddy up to bed, shall I? As I’m on my way out?” Tonks said as she stood up from the drawing room carpet later that night after her, Sirius, and Harry’s Poker game (Sirius had only narrowly won, seeing as Tonks had excellent Poker faces to choose from).
“Nah, let him sleep here a bit, eh?” Sirius said, glancing over to look at the sleeping child curled up under blankets on the sofa, “Are you sure you don’t want to use one of the spare guest rooms for the night?”
Tonks smiled but shook her head, “My mum’s dying to see me. And I thought I could spend tomorrow with her and then travel with her and my dad to the wedding on the 13th.”
Sirius grinned, “It’s grand that Andy and Ted can come.”
“She wouldn’t miss her favorite cousin’s wedding for the world,” Tonks said, grinning back, “Night then, Sirius, Harry. See you at the ceremony!”
“See you!” Harry and Sirius chorused as Tonks waved and left.
“Right then,” Sirius said to Harry, “Another game?”
Harry nodded, “Yeah, Wizard’s Chess?”
“Good man,” Sirius said, nodding sagely and waving his wand to organize the deck of cards and Poker chips back into their box before Summoning the Wizard’s Chess set.
After Harry asked his Pawn to move first and as Sirius was contemplating his first move, Harry said casually, “So…the wedding…”
“Hmmhmm,” Sirius said, rubbing his chin before asking his Knight to move.
“I had an idea,” Harry said, scanning the board and then asking his Pawn to move again.
“Do tell, then,” Sirius said, his brow furrowing as he surveyed the board.
“You and Remus need to have a first dance,” Harry said, “and I reckon he made you promise that you wouldn’t have one, but I also reckon he didn’t go as far as to make you take the Unbreakable Vow on that—” Sirius looked up from the chess board, clearly trying to hold in a barking laugh so as not to wake Teddy but Harry shouldered on, “—and you can blame it on me. Tell him I made you, whatever it takes. You two need to have a first dance.”
Sirius grinned wickedly at Harry, “Oh, pup. This is the Lily in you, isn’t it?”
Harry smiled, “You would know.”
Sirius leaned back, giving up on strategizing on the Chess game for a moment, “Alright then. I promise to you—a promise which shall override my earlier promise to Moony—that we will have a first dance. And we also shall promise to each other that you made me agree to this under threat of death.”
“Agreed,” Harry said, extending his hand.
Sirius grinned wickedly and shook his godson’s hand.
Harry narrowly won the Wizard’s Chess game—which he knew was mostly in part because Sirius was thinking of which song he and Moony ought to dance to after the ceremony—and then sobered up a bit.
Teddy was sleeping soundly on the sofa, clutching his stuffed wolf tightly to his chest (named ‘Wolf’), his hair turquoise and curly in sleep. Harry stared at the child, and was reminded of Tonks’ earlier comment…and the journey that Harry must soon set out on….
Related to that journey was something Harry had been meaning to ask Sirius and Remus about. Even though Remus wasn’t here, as he was spending the Full Moon as the Alpha with his werewolf pack, Harry still thought that Sirius may offer some insight.
“Sirius?” Harry said as Sirius put the chess pieces away, breaking up a fight between the White and Black Knights.
Sirius glanced up, concerned at Harry’s sober tone, “Alright?”
“I've something I’ve been meaning to ask you and Remus,” Harry said, “From the night Dumbledore and I…” Harry swallowed, “where we went…”
Sirius’ face froze for a moment and then very slowly he placed the Wizard’s Chess set aside, “The fake Hor—” Sirius’ head shot in Teddy’s direction, and finding him still sound asleep, turned back to Harry, “The fake…Horcrux?”
Harry nodded and put his hand into his robes, lifting out the small golden locket. He opened it and handed it to Sirius, “I thought maybe you might know who took the real one. Hermione reckons that whoever left this note had to be close to Voldemort…”
Sirius took the locket in his hands, his eyes on the folded piece of parchment within it. Carefully, he took it out and unfolded it. And then, he read.
Harry watched Sirius’ brow furrow as he read and then Sirius’ eyes widened slightly and his mouth fell open.
“R.A.B….” Sirius breathed.
Sirius licked his lips, his eyes scanning the note again.
“In death, I will one day be reunited with my brother…and perhaps, for what I have done here today, I may be forgiven…” Sirius murmured, quoting the end of the note.
And suddenly, Harry’s blood became ice. Because he saw that Sirius had started shaking.
“Sirius? Do you know who wrote this?”
But Harry’s godfather didn’t seem to hear him.
Sirius’ breath was now coming fast and ragged, his knuckles were white as he held the note in his shaking hands, his dark eyes locked on the words scribbled on the piece of parchment.
“Sirius?”
Sirius tore his eyes away from the note to look at Harry, and Harry felt his heart stutter unevenly.
Sirius’ eyes were wide, beseeching—and haunted. It seemed a ghost was looking at Harry from within those dark depths.
“Yes...I...I know...” Sirius stammered, his voice hoarse and broken, “It was my brother…it was Regulus…”
Sirius’ shaking worsened and suddenly it seemed as if he couldn’t draw air…his breaths were desperate…gulping…as if he were drowning…
“Sirius!” Harry cried, reaching forward, grabbing his godfather’s wrist, “It’s alright!”
“I…” Sirius panted, dropping the piece of parchment and staring at Harry, “I…”
“What can I do?” Harry begged his godfather, “What do you need?”
Sirius stared at him…in terror and in aching pain…terrible aching pain…
“Where’s the Calming Draught, Sirius?” Harry asked, “Where is it in you and Remus’ room?”
Sirius’ mouth was open, he fumbled for words, his whole body trembling…
And so, Harry ran.
Fuck the Trace! Harry thought to himself as he bolted up the flights of stairs, if only I was bloody seventeen and could Summon it myself!
But the last thing he and Sirius and Remus and Teddy needed was the Ministry having an excuse to meddle in their business. And so, Harry ran.
He threw open the door to Sirius’ and Remus’ bedroom and bolted to their wardrobe. He found on the top shelf an assortment of potions and jars—Essence of Murlap…Pain Relief Potion…Blood-Replenishing Potion...Dreamless Sleep…and then Harry recognized the familiar potion bottle.
He tripped on the third flight of stairs and almost went flying before he caught himself on the banister, and then he was running again, and he was dashing back into the drawing room.
Sirius was hunched over on his hands and knees, gasping…and Merlin, Teddy had woken. The child was also on his knees, his hands on Sirius’ face, “Padfoot?” he was saying in a high voice, “Padfoot?”
“Here!” Harry cried, uncorking the bottle and thrusting it toward Sirius.
Sirius reached a shaking hand and grabbed it, and then brought it to his lips, gulping and gasping until the bottle was dry.
For a moment, Harry and Teddy just stared at Sirius in wide-eyed fear. And then Sirius took a deep inhale and deep exhale…and he lifted his head to look at them both.
“Thank…you…” Sirius breathed; his eyes were calm waters now, a safe harbor.
“Padfoot?” Teddy said, his voice still high.
Sirius lifted himself off of his hands, so now he was crouching on his knees, and the next second he had enveloped Teddy in a tight hug, “Oh, tyke…I’m alright…”
“It’s okay,” Harry heard himself saying, reaching out to touch Sirius’ shoulder, “It’s okay…”
Remus Lupin Apparated the evening of July 12th into the entrance hall of 12 Grimmauld Place. Having just been in the body of the Alpha wolf, he could sense heartbeats much more acutely than usual and at once, he registered Harry’s in the drawing room, thudding rapidly as he heard Remus’ arrival…Teddy was in his bedroom, five floors up, his heartbeat calmed by sleep and pleasant dreams…Sirius’ was farther away than usual…and his heart was beating oddly…unevenly…disconcertingly…
“Remus?” Harry said, his voice seemed agitated—taut—as he stepped into the entrance hall, “What was the creature in your office the first time I came to speak with you alone while Ron and Hermione were in Hogsmeade in third year?”
“A grindylow,” Remus answered, his eyes flitting over Harry—who looked deeply worried, “What is it, Harry?”
“Sirius,” Harry said quickly, pointing up the stairs, “He’s been in Regulus’ old bedroom…”
Remus did not wait to hear the rest. He Apparated at once.
Sirius was standing by the wall in Regulus’ room, staring at the magical posters there, his back to Remus.
Remus’ brow furrowed—Sirius’ hands were not claws at his side, but reached out toward the pictures, open-palmed…
“Sirius?” Remus whispered, stepping closer, extending his arms.
Sirius turned to face him. His dark eyes were wet and red-rimmed, his cheeks stained with tears. And Remus smelled that Sirius’ blood was laced with Calming Draught.
“Oh, love,” Remus murmured, “What are you doing in here?”
Sirius reached into his robes and withdrew a small locket, and wordlessly, Remus took it into his hands. The locket was open and inside was a folded piece of parchment.
Remus unfolded it carefully and read the small note, and then he looked up at Sirius.
Sirius blinked the tears out of his eyes, “Forgiving him,” he said hoarsely, “That’s what I’m doing in here. I’m forgiving my brother.”
Remus placed the note back within the locket, pocketing it, and reached for Sirius, wrapping him in his long arms, cradling Sirius’ head against his chest as he brought his lips to Sirius’ temple.
“Forgiveness is such a sweet fruit, is it not?” Remus murmured against Sirius’ cool skin.
Sirius let out a shaky breath, shuddering slightly, “It’s…it’s relief,” Sirius managed, his hands now holding tight to Remus’ robes as if Remus were anchoring him, “He did right, Moony, Regulus did right…and my chains…our chains…they’re finally broken…”
I swore that I’d become a better man for you and I tried
Tried to change my ways and walk the line you follow…
…I read your letter in the morning by the lake and I cried
They were tears of joy; my chains have finally broken…