part one:
tw: self harm and blood
max's pov:
i was sitting on the couch in grimmauld place. everything has a more 60s vibe to it but i don't mind that much. What i do mind is the fucking daily prophet in front of me.
the girl and boy who lived
Rhea and Harry potter the two kids who lived.......
i looked at the page and tears started filling in my eyes i was about to let them run of of my eyes like a water fall, but i blinked them away remembering remus is downstairs in the chair 15 feet away from me reading a book.
the words stung. it was getting harder and harder to hold the tears in. my nails dig in to my arm, i feel the pain and tell my self this will make the pain go away right and don't cry, don't be a baby.
my nails dig deeper, and deeper, and deeper until i feel a warm liquid on my finger tips. i panic slightly knowing i am wearing tonks favorite queen t-shirt and i don't want to stain it. i decided to ignore the blood dripping down my arm.
Grabbing the paper at the top to carefully rip a line in to each letter of girl. Taking the pen in to my hand i clicked it and scribbled on to the paper and underlined the words i wrote, i'm not a fucking girl
i crossed out the word 'and' also adding and s at the end of boy to make boys. i tried to smile but it took to much energy. all i could do was keep crying so i whipped the tears from under my eyes. peering over at remus he didn't seem to notice me crying. i was okay with it, really i didn't mind but the one thing is when i am sad it quickly turns in to anger no matter what.
the paper not balled up in my hands and it at remus' head, "i'm going upstairs for the night." i said heading to leave the room. he had only looked up when i was leaving the room and then he took the paper i threw and opened it, i forgot to get rid of it shit.
3rd person pov:
remus opened the crunched up paper and saw it was a daily prophet. He read the underline words, he didn't understand it though.
He thought about it for a while wonder if Rhea had wrote it or if it was someone else. He came to the conclusion that it must have been someone else. It barely even went through he mind how much Rhea didn't act like what people say a 'proper lady' would.
She would never wear dresses or put on lots of makeup, only would paint her nails black or none at all. She did have very long hair that went to her lower back, it was a beautiful natural auburn color and was wavy. Though she never had short hair he knew it would look good, but he never thought she would do that in a million years, he always thought she is like his little girl and never thought she might be a he. He didn't even know what to do if something like that did happen.
part two:
max's pov
i woke up at around 10 in the morning to someone frantically knocking at my door.
"get your ass up before i drag you out of bed!" harry yelled at me.
Just then i stood up and walked over to the mirror and felt the rush of death and i fell asleep in the clothes i was wearing yesterday. i decided to wear it again today anyways. I turned to the side and looked again i wanted to rip my boobs off i hated them. Along with that i had also started my period which made me feel even more like a girl and less a boy. And i hated it.
I got up and walked to the bathroom changed my underwear and put on a pad because tampons still fucking scare me.
You would be able to hear me from the moon walking down the squeaky stairs.
"I NEED MORE PADS I JUST RAN OUT!" i had screamed at who ever could hear. there was silence for a couple of seconds then i rang out again "AND SOME CHOCOLATE AND DILL PICKLE CHIPS"
harry saw me as i walked in to the kitchen he knew i hated:
the color pink
long hair
dresses
skirts
periods
and anything traditional girly.
Our birthday was a could of weeks ago and he was the only one who had wrapped my stuff in a color other then pink, purple, or anything sparkly. And it was greatly appreciated.
Tonks was sitting at that table and the moment i saw her and she saw me we ran up and gave eachother giant hugs. "Oh i missed you!" i said cheerfully.
"I was only gone for a week calm down." she rolled her eyes a little.
Me, Tonks, Remus, Sirius, and Harry all had breakfast together. Remus kept looking over with a suspicious look in his eyes and that when i remembered...
the paper from yesterday i wrote on
i hoped he wouldn't talk to me about it because in all honestly right now i am not ready for that conversation. And i honestly don't think he would be either.
Me and tonks were telling eachother what happened throughout the past week and our hair changing all kinds of colors from our emotions. Lately i have not been in the best state of mind so being a metamorphmagus the most i could do right now was change hair colors and it really sucked when i realized i'm not able to change my appearance to have no tits.
part three:
tw: unsafe binding (and please never unsafe bind it's not good)
third person point of view:
"OUCH!" He had yelled. He had fallen asleep with a poorly made makeshift binder.
Remus and his hypersensitive senses and the echoey house made it so he heard all the way from downstairs. He sprinted up the stairs and ran in to Max's room.
"GET TONKS! AND GET OUT!" Max yelled at Remus not wanting him to know yet.
Tonks stumbled in to his room and they had told Remus to go back down stairs.
"Shit! rhea what happened you screamed?" Tonks spoke right after they had slammed the door shut while rushing in. They had a puzzled face on now though and it made Max scared. "We're you trying to bind your chest to make it flat" Tonks had asked with a very calming voice and put their hands on his shoulders.
"y-yeah." Max said while whipping off the tears that were draining out of his eyes. "please don't tell anyone. Your the first one i've told."
" I promise i would never tell anyone." They said holding out a pinky and Max shook it. " Now we need to get you out of this because you already made enough damage, come on let's go in the bathroom for better light i need to know if i need to heal you." (there is a bathroom connected in his room)
When they are in the bathroom Tonks notices a zip tie holding the scissors together so you could not cut things.
"Why are those stuck together?"
"So i don't impulsively cut my hair." He explained, "I have a urge to do it almost everyday but i'm still scared too."
"you would look very handsome though i have to say," Tonks said.
at the order meeting:
tw:misgendering
Mad-eye was talking to everyone about how the ministry keeps talking about Rhea and Harry. Although he is not out the misgendering does get on his nerves. "...she's just a silly little girl i mean look at her and her long hair and green eyes she looks just like her mom do i need to tell you again she is like a replica of her-" moody got cut off suddenly.
While moody was talking tears began in Max's eyes yet again. The anger was building up fast and his hair was turning a bright red. This was the first order meeting they let him sit in on and now he wished he never came.
"Can you stop fucking calling me that!" Max said standing up and giving a death glare in moody's direction.
Everyone at the meeting was silent and tears were now streaming down his face. But mad-eye had different plans, "I told you she an emotions little girl too."
"I told you to stop calling me that!" Max turned around and ran up the stairs unable to hold in the tears any longer.
Everyone in the meeting was silent till dumblewhore said, "Well as much fun as that was i think this meeting should wrap up in the next few minutes."
part four:
tw: panic attack and self harm and throwing up
(do some self care everyone we all need a little sometimes and don't forget to eat)
3rd person pov:
He felt like he was going to throw up. The panic from what he just said filling up his throat, a rope squeezing his stomach as everything spilled out of him in to the toilet.
It felt as though the room was closing in on him. He was sweating and his hair was sticking to him. He stood up and looked in the mirror tears still pouring out, he opened the drawer and pulled out a blade and made a few cuts on his arm.
The gross blood.
girl
The lines.
girl
The pain felt good. It calmed him
girl
He felt like he needed to be grounded in to this reality and deserved to be punished. The word girl ringing in his head.
fuck
He looked back up in to the mirror,
"The hair." He whispered to himself.
The scissors lay on the bathroom counter still zip tied closed. He took the blade he had used to cut to take the tie off.
He hesitated a little, took a pretty big piece from the front and cut it. He repeated this a few times, his hair now a foot shorter but still at his shoulders and still didn't feel right. He needed to be more drastic.
Grabbing a hair tie he carefully parted the top part up and started cutting the part the was down it was really choppy but he would fix it later. He took the top part down and cut it so it was longer then the rest but still short.
There was a mess of hair all over the ground and the scissors up on the counter in Max's bathroom. Now he was crying sitting on the floor of the bathroom. His face was wet with tears. The meeting just ended and everyone left very quick, all except the weasley because they were staying for the rest of the summer.
Tonks, Sirius, and Remus rushed up the stairs to go to Max's room. He heard them coming up the stairs and peeked out the door. Remus knocked on the door and said,
"Rhea can we come in?"
"Only Tonks can." He bit back a cry with the name being used.
Tonks quickly rushed in the room locking the bedroom door behind them. " Hey, are you in the bathroom?" They questioned from outside the closed door.
"Yeah but don't be alarmed when you come in." Max's said
They walked in seeing all the hair on the floor, a crying boy on the floor with tear stains on his face and hair a shit ton shorter then before.
"i love your new hair but it's way to choppy, i can get Remus and Sirius to go and get luna for you if you want." They said making him feel so loved and wanting to see his girlfriend for the first time since his birthday, he still hadn't come out to her but know she would be okay with it.
"yeah i know, you should probably fix it. Yeah i would like to have luna come over too." He said with a little chuckle.
Tonks transfigured something in to a chair and had max sit down. They went over to the door and talked to Remus and Sirius.
"It's going to take a little while in there, and they asked from luna so you two go and get her it's an emergency." They said the the two guys with worried faces.
"is she okay?"
"what happened?"
"You can be told another time, just go and get luna and they can talk to you when they want to." They said back again.
Remus and Sirius headed back downstairs to go and floo over to luna's and get her. They were both squeezing the others hand wondering what could have happened to their child.
Tonks came back inside the bathroom and fixed up Max's hair. Both of them cleaned up the bathroom floor that by the end was covered in hair. Max had told Tonk his name a pronouns while cleaning up and they took it very well.
They ended up going down stairs to relax a little and Max stayed up stairs in his room. About 30 minutes later he heard a knock on his door. He went over standing behind the door, "Who is it?"
"It's remus," The voice said back, "Could i come in maybe we could talk?"
"Is there something you wanted to talk about?" he said answering and question with another question.
"Why'd you get upset earlier?"
"i just did alright, it shouldn't matter that much."
"It does matter because you my amazing daughter and i want to be sure your-"
"i'm not your daughter, if there is not anything else i think you should leave me alone."
"There is another thing, luna is downstairs i heard you asked for her to come over because of an emergency." Remus said.
"Send her up to my room with some dill pickle chips please." Max finished up the conversation between them.
Not even a minute later Luna came running in to his room. "WHAT HAPPENED THEY SAID SOMETHING REALLY BAD HAPPENED!"
"Every thing is fine they were just over exaggerating." Max stated from under the covers. Luna walked over and sat beside her boyfriend.
"what's wrong bubs?" She asked him, "Want to cuddle i know that makes you happy i also brought up the chips but i would want to cuddle more."
"i have something to say and i get it if you don't want to date anymore but i just have to tell you, i'm a boy." He said with a shaky voice but there was no time for nerves before he was put in to a bone crushing hug by his girlfriend.
"Of course i still want to date you bubbles, your everything i could ever want. Do you have a different name you want to use?" she said.
"Yeah it's Max but i have not told anyone else but Tonks yet so don't say anything about it to anyone." He said.
Still under the cover with his head underneath he lifted the blanket and poked his head out and grabbed luna by the waist and pulled her under.
"Your hair looks beautiful!" Luna said with a little shock in her voice because she could see all his more defined features.
"Thanks." Max said blushing and pulling Luna in and kissing her lips with one hand still around her waist they were cuddling until they fell asleep for the night.