𝑱𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒓 𝑱𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒖 - 𝑵𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒆
Skye's Apartment
Skye sighed as she unlocked the door to her apartment, feeling the exhaustion settle deep in her bones. She knew she should’ve called Addison or Meredith about the panic attack—she had promised Arizona—but she hadn’t said when she would do it.
And right now, she just didn’t have the energy.
She changed into an old t-shirt and sweatpants, barely mustering the energy to pull a blanket over herself. The apartment was quiet, too quiet, and for a second, she thought about putting on music. But even that felt like too much effort.
She closed her eyes, hoping for sleep to take her quickly—
Knock. Knock.
Skye groaned. She considered ignoring it. But the knocking came again, a little more insistent this time.
Dragging herself up, she shuffled to the door and opened it.
JJ stood there, holding a brown paper bag in one hand and raising an eyebrow. “Hi.”
Skye blinked. “JJ?” Skye hesitated, caught off guard. “You’re in Seattle? I thought you were still on a case in… Tacoma?”
JJ smirked. “Wrapped it up early. Thought I’d surprise you.”
Skye swallowed, forcing a smile. “Well, consider me surprised.”
JJ stepped inside, closing the door behind her. “You weren’t answering my texts, so I figured I’d check in.” She glanced at Skye, taking in the way she held herself—tired, drained. But she didn’t push. “Have you eaten?”
Skye hesitated. She hadn’t expected JJ to show up—especially not now, when she felt like complete shit.
But she forced a small smile. “I was about to.”
JJ gave her a look. The profiler look. The one that said she wasn’t buying it.
“Uh-huh,” JJ set the bag on the counter and started unpacking containers. “Well, now you don’t have to. I brought Thai.”
Skye sighed, closing the door behind her. “You really didn’t have to.”
JJ shot her a knowing glance. “I wanted to.”
Skye ran a hand through her hair. Skye didn’t argue. She let JJ set the food on the coffee table and let the warmth of her presence settle into the space.
JJ turned back to Skye, studying her for a second. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just tired,” Skye said, forcing a small smile. It wasn’t a lie. She was tired.
“Alright,” JJ didn’t press or pry. She just sat next to her, close but not overwhelming, and handed her a takeout container. “Here.” She handed Skye her food.
“Thanks.” Skye took the pad Thai from JJ, trying to hide the fact that she wasn’t really in the mood to eat. She grabbed a forkful, hoping JJ wouldn’t notice.
JJ dug into her own food with a satisfied hum. “God, I forgot how good this place is.”
Skye nodded absently, picking at her food. “Yeah, it’s one of my favorites.” She didn’t really taste the food; she was just going through the motions, trying not to make it obvious. “How was your case over so fast?” Skye asks.
JJ twirled a bite of noodles around her fork before answering. “Honestly? It was a mess at first. It was a kidnapping case, but the parents were actually involved, trying to stage it as some kind of revenge plot.”
“Witnesses kept contradicting each other, and the parents were throwing us in the wrong direction. But we finally got a break when one of the neighbors came forward with security footage.” She shook her head. “Whole thing could’ve taken days, but once we had that, we got her back pretty fast.”
Skye glanced at her. “Jesus. That’s… so messed up.”
JJ nodded, her jaw tight. “Yeah. The worst part is she’s too young to even understand what happened. Just kept asking when she could go home.”
Skye watched JJ for a moment. “You okay?”
JJ exhaled, shaking her head. “I mean, yeah. Just—cases with kids always get to me, you know?”
Skye did know. She nodded but hesitated for a second, then said, “I operated on a kid today.”
JJ’s gaze flicked up, immediately focused. “Yeah?”
“Eight-year-old girl. She had internal bleeding, a femur fracture, head trauma—bad injuries. Me and Arizona had to call CPS on the dad.” Skye kept her voice even, detached, just stating facts.
JJ frowned, setting her container down. “You guys think he did it?”
Skye nodded. “Yeah. It wasn’t just the injuries—it was how the girl acted. How the mom acted.”
JJ’s expression darkened. “God. That’s awful.”
Skye poked at her food, her appetite gone. “She’s stable now. The mom’s cooperating with CPS. Hopefully, she’ll be okay.”
JJ reached over, squeezing Skye’s knee lightly. “You and Dr. Robbins did good, Skye.”
Skye swallowed. “Just doing our job.”
“Yeah, but not everyone would’ve noticed what you did. Or pushed for CPS. You did great. Really.”
Skye looked away, brushing off the warmth in her chest. “Thanks.”
Skye felt a small warmth spread through her at JJ’s words, even if she didn’t feel great about the situation. JJ always knew how to make her feel like she wasn’t alone.
They finished eating in a comfortable quiet, the weight of their days lingering between them.
Afterward, they cleaned up together, tossing takeout containers into the trash and rinsing off utensils. As Skye wiped down the coffee table, JJ glanced at her.
“Can I stay over?”
Skye glanced up, a little surprised. “Yeah, of course. You know you’re always welcome.”
JJ smiled, but Skye hesitated internally.
She wasn’t sure she was the best company right now.
Still, she led JJ to the bedroom, tossing her an extra shirt to change into.
They settled into bed, the sheets cool and welcoming. JJ curled up beside her, close but not too close, and Skye tried to shut her mind off for a little while. The last thing she wanted was to think about everything that had happened with Lila, or the panic attack earlier that day, or even her own past.
She just wanted some peace, if only for tonight.
“Goodnight, Skye,” JJ murmured, her voice soft and tired.
“Goodnight,” Skye replied, her voice a little hoarse.
JJ fell asleep first, her breathing evening out as she shifted slightly, pressing closer to Skye in her sleep.
Skye stayed awake, staring at the ceiling, her thoughts still heavy. The day had drained her in more ways than one, but somehow, with JJ beside her, it didn’t feel as unbearable.
She turned her head, watching JJ’s peaceful face in the dim light. How did she get so lucky?
JJ was patient, kind, steady. She never pushed, never demanded more than Skye could give. And yet, Skye couldn’t shake the feeling that she didn’t deserve this—that she didn’t deserve her.
She swallowed past the tightness in her throat and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to JJ’s temple. JJ stirred slightly but didn’t wake, just sighed and burrowed deeper into the covers.
Skye exhaled, letting herself relax for the first time all day. She curled closer, soaking in JJ’s warmth, the steady rhythm of her breathing.
Maybe she could actually get some rest tonight.
With that thought, her eyes drifted shut, and sleep finally pulled her under.
✦✦✦✦
JJ woke up to soft, broken sounds. At first, she wasn’t sure what it was—just something off in the quiet of the night. But as she became more awake, she turned toward Skye and realized it was her.
Skye was whimpering, small, pained noises slipping out between hitched breaths. She shifted under the blankets, her body tense, her face twisted in distress.
JJ frowned, reaching out gently. “Skye?” she whispered.
But Skye didn’t wake. The sounds grew more frantic, her hands twitching as if pushing something—or someone—away. Then, all at once, the whimpers turned into a loud, broken cry.
“No—don’t!” Skye gasped, thrashing.
JJ sat up fully, concern spiking. “Skye, wake up.” she said softly, touching her shoulder.
Skye didn’t stir.
Her body jerked again, more violent this time.
“Skye, it’s okay, you’re dreaming—”
But it wasn’t getting better. The nightmare held her in its grip, dragging her deeper.
Skye’s breathing turned frantic, her chest rising and falling too fast. “Don’t touch me, please,” she sobbed, her voice wrecked, desperate. “I’m sorry, I’ll be a good girl—I won’t tell anyone—please, stop.”
JJ’s stomach dropped. Her heart clenched painfully at the words, at the fear in Skye’s voice.
She couldn’t let her stay in this.
“Skye, it’s me,” JJ said, keeping her voice calm but firm. “You’re safe. It’s JJ. You’re home.”
Skye’s eyes flew open—but they were unfocused, wide with terror.
Skye’s eyes darted wildly, her breathing still too fast. She saw JJ—but something in her mind twisted the image, turning JJ into someone else, someone dangerous.
The doctor shoved JJ away, scrambling backward until she hit the headboard. Her breaths were ragged, her hands shaking as she pressed herself into the corner, trying to make herself small. “No! Don’t hurt me.”
JJ barely caught herself before she fell off the bed. “Skye—”
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I won’t tell, I promise—I promise—please, stop.”
JJ’s heart shattered.
She had seen trauma before. She had seen victims relive their worst moments, stuck in memories they couldn’t escape. But this—this was Skye.
Skye didn’t respond. She was too lost, still stuck in whatever dark place her mind had taken her.
She took a slow breath and softened her voice. “Skye, I need you to listen to my voice, okay?”
Skye didn’t respond. She was too lost, still stuck in whatever dark place her mind had taken her.
JJ lowered herself slightly, making sure she wasn’t crowding Skye. “You’re not there. You’re here, in your apartment. You’re safe. I promise.”
Skye’s breathing hitched, her fingers clawing at the sheets.
JJ softened her voice even more. “Can you look at me?”
It took a few seconds, but finally, Skye’s frantic gaze met hers.
“That’s it,” JJ encouraged. “Good. Now, I want you to breathe with me, okay? In—” She took a slow, deep breath, exaggerating the motion. “—and out.”
Skye’s chest heaved, her breaths still ragged, but she tried.
“That’s it,” JJ said again, nodding. “You’re doing great. Just keep breathing with me.”
Little by little, the tension in Skye’s body started to ease. Her hands still trembled, her face was still pale, but her eyes were clearing.
JJ stayed right where she was, not moving closer, just letting Skye come down at her own pace.
Skye’s chest rose and fell in uneven breaths, but after a long moment, her shoulders sagged.
She was coming back.
JJ exhaled softly, relief flooding her. But her heart still ached at what she had just witnessed.
When Skye finally met her eyes, there was exhaustion, shame, something close to defeat.
Skye finally spoke, her voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. “…JJ?”
JJ offered her a small, reassuring smile. “Yeah, I’m here.”
Skye swallowed hard, her body still trembling. She looked down at her hands, as if realizing only now that they were shaking.
JJ wanted nothing more than to pull her into a hug, to hold her close and make all of this go away—but she didn’t. Not yet.
Instead, she just said, “You’re safe, Skye. I’ve got you.”
Skye exhaled shakily, still curled into the headboard, her hands clenched into fists. She couldn’t bring herself to look at JJ, her body still trembling from the aftershocks of the nightmare. The shame settled deep in her chest, heavy and suffocating.
“I’m sorry,” she finally whispered, her voice breaking. She swallowed hard, but the tears still welled up, spilling over before she could stop them. She pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes, trying to will them away.
JJ’s voice was gentle. “Hey, don’t apologize.”
Skye let out a small, broken sound, barely holding herself together. “I woke you up—I freaked out—I just—” She shook her head, unable to finish the thought.
JJ shifted slightly, still keeping a careful distance. “Can I come closer?” she asked softly.
Skye hesitated, breathing uneven. Then, slowly, she gave a small nod.
JJ moved forward, slow and deliberate, giving Skye time to stop her if she needed to. “Can I touch you?”
Another pause. Then, after a moment, Skye gave another tiny nod.
JJ reached out, brushing Skye’s knuckles first—just enough contact to ground her—before pulling her into a hug. Skye tensed for half a second before she let herself sink into it, pressing her face against JJ’s shoulder. JJ held her, warm and steady, rubbing slow circles into her back.
“It’s okay,” JJ murmured. “You don’t have to apologize for this. Nightmares happen. It’s not like I’ve never had one.” She gave a small, wry smile. “It’s human, Skye.”
Skye let out a shaky breath. The warmth of JJ’s touch, the solid weight of her arms around her—it made the overwhelming feeling just a little less unbearable.
JJ pulled back slightly, looking into Skye’s tired eyes. “You know you can talk to me, right?” she said gently.
Skye opened her mouth, then closed it. She wanted to, but at the same time, she didn’t know where to start.
JJ didn’t push. “It’s okay,” she reassured. “You don’t have to talk now. Not even to me. Just… someone. When you’re ready.”
Skye stayed quiet, her fingers curling into JJ’s hoodie. Then, finally, she took a breath and whispered, “It was because of the kid I operated on.”
JJ’s brows knit together, concern deepening. “Skye, you don’t have to talk if you’re not ready.”
“I want to,” Skye said quickly. Her voice was still unsteady, but there was something determined in it now.
JJ gave a small nod. “Okay. I’m listening.”
Skye took a breath, trying to steady herself. “After the consult… I had a panic attack,” she admitted. “Arizona caught me. She—she helped me calm down.”
JJ listened, patient and quiet.
Skye shifted slightly. “After that, I told her about the girl. And her mom.” Her throat tightened. “They’re being abused. And I know that because… I’ve been there.”
JJ’s fingers tightened slightly around hers.
Skye exhaled, her voice barely holding steady. “Not with my mom. She died when I was really young. I don’t even remember her.” She blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay. “But the dad—the way he treated her—I’ve lived that.”
JJ didn’t say anything, didn’t interrupt. She just listened.
“My dad,” Skye said, her voice distant, like she was speaking about someone else. “He used me. As a rage outlet. And… other things.” She trailed off, her whole body tense.
JJ’s chest ached, but she didn’t move, didn’t react beyond squeezing Skye’s hand a little tighter. “I’m so sorry,” she said softly.
Skye gave a broken little laugh. “Yeah. Me too.”
Silence settled between them.
“I don’t know why it hit me so hard today. I mean, I see cases like this all the time. But when I saw Lila, when I saw how scared she was… it just—” Her voice cracked. “It just brought everything back.”
JJ didn’t rush to respond. She just held Skye a little closer, letting her take her time.
“You’re not there anymore,” JJ finally said, her voice steady. “You’re here. You’re safe.”
Skye exhaled shakily, nodding, but the weight of it all still pressed down on her chest. She wasn’t there anymore, but some days, it still felt like she was.
JJ shifted slightly, just enough to press a gentle kiss to Skye’s hair. “You’re safe,” she repeated, softer this time, like she was trying to make Skye believe it. “And Lila’s safe now too. Because of you.”
Skye closed her eyes, letting herself lean into JJ’s warmth. “I just…” She sighed. “I wish I could do more.”
JJ pulled back just enough to look at her, brushing a stray tear off Skye’s cheek with her thumb. “You already did. You saw her. You helped her. That’s more than most people would have done.”
Skye’s throat tightened, her eyes stinging again, but this time, it wasn’t just from sadness—it was from the sheer tenderness in JJ’s voice, in her touch.
“I don’t deserve you,” Skye murmured.
JJ frowned. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.” Skye gave a weak smile, like she was trying to make a joke out of it, but it fell flat. “I’m fucked up.”
JJ’s expression softened, but there was something firm beneath it—something steady, unwavering. “Skye,” she said quietly, tilting Skye’s chin up so their eyes met. “You’re not fucked up. And if you are, then so am I. So that just makes us a perfect match.”
Skye let out a short, breathless laugh. “That’s different.”
“It’s not.” JJ didn’t let her look away. “You’ve seen me with my nightmares, and you’ve helped me through them. You never made me feel broken or weak. Why do you think I’d see you any differently?”
Skye swallowed hard, her throat burning. “Yeah, but—” She hesitated. “You were protecting your country. You saved people from bad guys. And me? I was weak and useless. I couldn’t even fight my own dad from doing those things to me.”
JJ’s chest tightened, but she didn’t interrupt.
Skye let out a bitter, shaky laugh. “You know what he used to say? That I must’ve enjoyed it. That’s why I didn’t say anything to anyone.” Her fingers twisted in the blankets. “Maybe he was right.”
JJ felt a sharp, cold anger coil in her stomach—not at Skye, never at Skye—but at the man who had hurt her, the man who had twisted her perception of herself so badly that she could even think that.
“He wasn’t right,” JJ said, her voice low but firm. “Not even a little.”
Skye clenched her jaw, her hands tightening into fists. “I should be over it by now. It’s been years.”
“Skye.” JJ reached for her hand again, threading their fingers together. “Healing isn’t about time. It’s not something you just ‘get over.’” She exhaled softly, squeezing Skye’s hand. “I’ve spent years telling myself I should be over the things I’ve seen, the things I’ve lost. That I should be fine by now. But that’s not how it works.”
Skye stayed quiet, her gaze fixed on their hands.
JJ continued, her voice gentler now. “You weren’t weak. You survived. You got out. And now, you’re saving kids like Lila from going through what you did.” She brushed her thumb over Skye’s knuckles. “That doesn’t sound like weakness to me.”
Skye let out a slow, unsteady breath. She didn’t argue. Didn’t push back. But she still looked unconvinced, like she wanted to believe JJ but couldn’t quite let herself.
JJ gave her hand another squeeze. “And for the record? Even if you never saved a single person, even if you never did another ‘good’ thing for the rest of your life, you’d still deserve love, Skye.”
Skye’s breath hitched.
“You deserve to be safe. To be cared for. To be happy.” JJ held her gaze. “Not because of what you do, or who you help, or how strong you are—but just because you’re you.”
For a moment, Skye just stared at her, her eyes wide, raw. Then, without warning, her face crumpled, and she let out a quiet, choked sob.
JJ moved instantly, wrapping her arms around Skye and pulling her close. Skye didn’t resist. She just collapsed into JJ’s embrace, gripping the back of her shirt like a lifeline.
JJ held her, running her fingers through Skye’s hair, murmuring quiet reassurances as Skye sobbed into her shoulder.
And for once, Skye didn’t try to hold it in. She didn’t swallow it down or pretend she was fine. She just let herself break—safe in JJ’s arms.
JJ kept holding Skye, her hand moving in slow, soothing circles against her back. She didn’t say anything, didn’t try to rush her. She just let Skye take what she needed—let her cry, let her breathe, let herself be held.
After a while, the shaking in Skye’s body eased. Her sobs quieted, turning into slow, uneven breaths. JJ felt the way her weight started to settle against her, exhaustion tugging her down.
Skye shifted slightly, her head nestled against JJ’s shoulder. Her breath was warm against JJ’s collarbone, and her fingers had loosened their grip on JJ’s shirt.
JJ kept rubbing her back, slow and steady, until she felt Skye’s breathing even out, just on the edge of sleep.
Then, barely above a whisper, Skye murmured, “Thanks, JJ…”
JJ smiled softly, pressing a light kiss to Skye’s hair. “Always.”
She thought that would be the last thing Skye said before she drifted off completely. But then—
“I love you.”
It was quiet, drowsy, like Skye barely realized she’d said it. Like it wasn’t a big deal. Just something natural, something easy, slipping out in the space between wakefulness and sleep.
JJ’s entire body went still.
She didn’t move, didn’t breathe, just stared at the ceiling as Skye let out one last sigh and fully relaxed against her.
They’d never said those words before. Not yet.
They weren’t—well, they were something, but they had never defined it. They were close, closer than either of them had ever been with anyone else. They relied on each other. Needed each other. But they never said love.
JJ didn’t know if Skye meant it—if it was just the heat of the moment, the raw emotions from tonight spilling over. Maybe it didn’t mean anything. Maybe it meant everything.
She had no idea.
But she knew one thing for sure.
Sleep wasn’t coming for her anytime soon.