"It's obvious to me, Tom," you said, placing a hand on top of his. "I know you've been feeling this way too. Nothing about you goes unnoticed by me, you know."
A few months ago, you'd laugh yourself to death if you caught yourself saying that to Tom Riddle. The Tom Riddle with high and unbreakable walls around him — the same walls that you had managed to break into. You had seen him, every part of him, and you had loved every part of him.
So, what went wrong?
"Why do I feel this way?" he asked bitterly and turned over his hand to hold yours.
You felt your heart aching at his expression. He looked so broken and so lost. He was feeling the emotions he hated feeling the most with you. He was feeling the emotions that he never thought he would feel with you — and you wished, oh, how you wished you could fix that.
"I don't know," you answered truthfully. "I don't know why I feel this way too."
You both were delaying it. It was obvious, but now, you had to say it.
"Perhaps, we should end this."
Tom dropped his head and sighed. "Yes, we should."
As you both parted ways, you found yourself with a heavy feeling that you didn't want to acknowledge as regret, and how the warmth of his hand still lingered in yours.
The night you two parted, Tom found that he took longer to sleep than usual. His mind was full and loud, and no books could help him calm his mind.
He had multiple books on his nightstand, each of them had been bookmarked in hopes that he would find it interesting when he read it, in hopes that he would absorb himself in whatever content was on the page. Unfortunately, nothing worked, not even when some of the pages were bookmarked by you.
It wasn't books that often helped him calm his mind, it was you.
Tom clicked his tongue at the realisation and turned his body on the other side as he placed a pillow on his head.
He was an overthinker, he thought a lot, so he couldn't help it when his mind drifted to you once again. He couldn't help but to remember the way you, one person, managed to make the world around him become quiet so easily. He couldn't help but to remember how every thought in his mind simply dissipated because of you.
Before, he was a fully independent person, almost devoid of emotions and had no emotional attachments to anything at all.
Until you came along, you taught him how to love, how to love properly. You made him realise that the strong feelings he sometime felt were not a burden, but they were normal.
You made him, him. You made him love being him.
If he had shed a few tears that night due to the unexplainable ache in his chest, he would never admit it.
When he woke up from his miserable slumber the next morning, he could tell that things were only going to get worse for him.
It was confirmed when he had saved you a seat next to him at the Great Hall. He felt his chest aching again when he saw you entered the hall. You looked beautiful, so beautiful that it hurt him. At the same time, you didn't look yourself. He knew, because he knew you better than anyone.
Were you hurting as much as he was?
A part of himself was begging for that to be true.
He didn't think it was possible for him to feel more hurt, until he saw you sitting with your friends and he realised that he was saving a seat next to him for nothing. That's right, nothing. Both of you weren't anything anymore.
Malfoy pulled him out of his thoughts by calling his name and proceeded to joke about how in love Tom was. It then hit him that he had been staring at you, and he hoped you hadn't noticed.
He chose to ignore Malfoy's joke, because that only meant he was looking at you so lovingly.
Upon realising what class he had next, he felt sick to his stomach. It was only early in the morning, but he was already feeling all sorts of negative emotions, all because of you. He wanted to press his palms into his face, but he remembered that he was around people, in public. He felt miserable enough, and that didn't need to be obvious from the outside.
Except for you. You could always see right through him.
When the time finally came for Potions class, Tom was the first one as usual and he hurriedly tried to make himself seem busy. He tried to make himself look presentable, before you, his Potions partner, could arrive into the class. You, his sweet and so lovable—
His?
Tom shook his head, sighing loudly. He needed to focus. His heartbeat was speeding up rapidly. You would be here any time soon and he had to—
The door to the classroom opened and Tom swallowed nervously. The tables were eventually filled with students and at the corner of his eye, he saw you coming up next to him and placing your bag down on the chair.
Merlin, you were his ex-lover but it felt like you were his crush.
"Good morning, Tom."
Your soft greeting caused him to tense up and he hoped you didn't see it. He turned to you and felt his walls crumbling down at the sight of your gentle eyes and tender smile. Why were you looking at him like that?
Most importantly, Tom? Why just Tom? It was supposed to be 'my love' or 'darling', so why—
"Good morning," he greeted back softly, followed by your name and he found that he could never get tired of saying your name.
He turned back to the front.
All of his rational thoughts got thrown out of the window whenever you were around.
It was three days after your breakup, where you found yourself at the library with your mind drifting to Tom Riddle, again.
Your Transfiguration notes had long been abandoned, with the textbook and your notebook opened on the table and you were mindlessly staring at the bookshelves in front of you, with your chin resting on your palm.
You hadn't been well.
Your nights had been lonely, without a certain bed to sneak onto, and your study sessions had been dull, as you didn't have a comforting presence near you anymore.
You had friends and you had your close friends, but you had no one like Tom Riddle.
You had no one that could help you ground yourself, that could give you the perfect reassurance with the perfect words and actions. You had no one to tell you that "you're okay, darling".
He was also more, he was always more — just by holding his hand you could no longer feel that you were alone. Just by being under his gaze, you felt seen and understood.
No one made you feel like that.
You wondered if Tom was doing well, wondered if he was taking care of himself well. His mind tended to get loud at night and you usually would cradle his face tenderly, whispering sweet nothings. He also sometimes skipped his meals without realising and you had to bring him food.
You felt your eyes burning and you quickly blinked away the upcoming tears.
You were nothing anymore. What was wrong with you? You and Tom Riddle were nothing anymore.
You recalled yesterday night, how you hard you had cried when you found his shirt neatly folded amongst yours. It still smelled like him too and you couldn't help but to go to sleep with it.
Truthfully, you were regretting the breakup. It was a stupid decision, because you were still deeply in love with him.
What went wrong?
You had only been talking to him during classes where you both sat next to each other or were partners in, which was most of your classes.
You wanted more so terribly.
You wanted the late night talks, you wanted Tom spilling his mind so freely with you again, you wanted to watch the light in his eyes as he talked about his interest in magic and most importantly, you wanted him.
You were so deprived of Tom Riddle and it hurt, badly.
Palmistry.
You almost scoffed, it was as if the universe was trying to tie you close to him. You looked over to your Divination partner, none other than Tom Riddle. He looked gorgeous and you had to force yourself to look back at the professor.
The moment that you dreaded finally came and you both turned to each other. You looked at the table for a few seconds, pretending to fix things before looking up at Tom. Your heart jumped when he was already looking at you.
"Do you want your readings first?" you questioned, forcing yourself to appear calm.
"Yes," he said softly and stretched out his hand.
Gently, you took his hand in both of yours and you instinctively caressed his palm with your thumb upon feeling the familiar warmth of his hand.
"Sorry," you whispered.
"Don't be," he said almost immediately.
You gave him one last glance before looking at his hand and then to your Divination notes. You found yourself looking mostly at his hand rather than your notes for information, and if Tom had noticed, he said nothing about that.
You both settled into a comfortable silence and you wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment forever.
Holding his hand like this, it made you think back to the times where he would hold your hand under the table and you both would pretend to be extremely interested in your Divination work.
"Are you alright?"
You looked up, startled. "Yes."
"You've been quiet," he stated softly.
You wished he wouldn't use that tender tone with you.
As you gazed back into his eyes, you thought about multiple excuses you could come up with. You usually would read out loud in Divination for him to write down or keep in mind.
The look in his eyes made you vulnerable, and all those excuses you thought of didn't matter because you could only think of the truth.
"If I'm being honest with you, I cannot concentrate well."
Tom laughed, a genuine one. One that made your eyes lit up and your heart skipping a beat.
"We can always lie like usual. We're good at that," you joked, a small smile breaking into your face.
He nodded with a smile, still looking at you with that same look he always had.
"Can we talk?" he asked cautiously.
"Yes," you replied without thinking.
"Walk with me," he had said to you in front of the Divination classroom.
He had his hand on your back as you both walked down the spiral staircase together. You revelled in the comfort of his touch, his presence, him.
At that moment, it felt like nothing had changed and you wanted to pretend so badly that it was true.
Only when you both reached an empty corridor, he stopped walking, causing you to turn around. You looked at him questioningly and you realised he wanted to talk now.
"I have missed you dearly," he started, and it looked as if the weight from his shoulders had been lifted off.
You smiled as your eyes burned. "I missed you too," you murmured, looking down on the ground so he couldn't see the look on your face. You didn't know when you would talk to him like this again, so you decided to let it out right at that moment. "I made a stupid, bad decision."
"We made a stupid and bad decision," he said quickly.
The pain you were feeling were unbearable that you wouldn't be able to stand looking at him but the moment you looked up and saw the look in his eyes, you recognised the pain they were showcasing. You didn't feel alone upon knowing he felt it too.
He then stepped forward as his hands came up. They stopped in the air, so hesitant, before he gently grabbed your shoulders.
"I am utterly in love with you," he whispered earnestly.
You exhaled sharply in surprise as you couldn't hold back your tears anymore, which pooled in your eyes.
"I'm sorry I suggested it in the first place," you choked out as a single tear fell from your eye.
"No—I'm sorry for letting you go."
"What went wrong?" you asked the infamous question tearfully. The question that had been stuck in your mind the whole week and even on the very day you two parted.
"I have been asking myself the same question," he said regretfully, leaning his forehead against yours. "What went so wrong that made me let go of something beautiful like you?"
He wiped your tear sorrowfully, the hurt evident in his face, because he caused this, he made you cry.
Overwhelmed by feelings, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to you. It just felt right. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around your body and bury his face into your neck. You felt wet droplets on your neck, and your chest ached because you caused that.
You chose to focus on him, having him in your arms again, finally.
"I missed you so much," you whispered, placing a gentle hand on the back of his head.
"I'm yours," he said breathlessly. "Completely."