Chapter 15
Remus arrived at his dorm after breakfast to see a small package at the doorstep, clothes tied with a brown ribbon, and a note with his name written on it. He picked up the package cautiously before entering the room. He assumed it must be for the Halloween party that night, which he was looking forward to. Remus opened the box to reveal a thick orange turtle sweater, a red pleated skirt, a pair of black knee-high socks, and thick-rimmed dark glasses with the lenses popped out.
Velma. Of fucking course.
After finishing his required reading for that week, he started getting ready for the party. Pulling the socks up to his knees and looking in the mirror, admiring himself in a skirt. It was not his usual look, revealing more of his legs than he was used to. The majority of his scars were on his arms, though one long cut started at his thigh and ran across his knee, a dark bruised purple, jagged lines cutting across his pale skin. Though the largest across his chest, thick and bumpy with extra tissue, still dark purple in places. He’d had these markings for most of his life, as long as he could remember they've been a part of him. It seemed silly, almost, to get so caught up in how they looked. Remus ran his fingers over the faint scar across his lip, thin and silvery, somehow the cuts on his face had healed differently, he had more on his face when he was small, but they weren't too deep and had almost completely faded now. He tried not to be ashamed but felt relief when he pulled out the long sleeves of the sweater. He’d admittedly been nervous about what the costume could've been, and tried to squash the lingering feelings of anxiety over a revealing outfit.
Once the costume was fully adorned, Remus glanced at the mirror hanging on the back of their door. He liked the way the skirt flared out at the ends, and the soft material of the sweater. He reached for his phone to applaud Marlene and Dorcas.
remus: exceptional choice in sweater, well done.
marlene: praise from the old man sweater connoisseur?!?! my life is complete
***
James had finished rugby practice, covered in dirt and sweat as he went to his bag left on the side of the field. He lifted his water bottle to his slips, and his eyes wandered to the school, it was still fairly early in the day. Classes hadn't started yet, and the morning fog still floated across the lawn. Though there seemed to be one student walking toward the pitch. The rest of the team had left, and he couldn't think of anyone else who’d be awake that early. As the figure came closer to view, James could identify a familiar flop of dark curls, a slender frame, with the sleeves of his sweater, pulled over his hands.
Regulus.
His brain short-circuited.
Regulus, Regulus, Regulus.
He started running towards him and didn't even realize it. He was here. Again. The past few weeks had been excruciating. Facetime calls and daily texts were all well and good but now that James had experienced all the wonderful little nuances that were Regulus in person, he missed it.
As he got closer he outstretched his arms and screamed a little, unable to contain all his joy and surprise. He practically leaped in Regulus’ arms, wrapping his legs around him and holding him tightly. Though James was airborne for long, Regulus stumbled and James' feet touched the ground allowing him to sink into Regulus’ arms.
“You're; back,” James whispered into his shoulder, voice muffled by his sweater. Regulus squeezed him back with a pleasing hum of agreement.
“Wouldn’t miss a party.” regulus teased.
He was still in shock, as he felt Regulus' soft sweater fabric, smelling like fresh mint and sweet spring. He could feel him breathing, see his soft curls and dark eyes. James pulled away slightly so that he was face to face with Regulus, still, so close he could see the cracks of his lips and every individual eyelash. Their foreheads touched, James's looking at Regulus, Regulus nodding slightly, answering his silent question. James kissed him, all longing and love, and a little tongue.
Regulus was back, here, with James, finally. All was as it should be.
***
They held hands as they walked back to the school. Regulus was not expecting such an excited reaction from James, he didn't think he’d get that excited just by seeing him. But as James wrapped his arms around him and kissed his lips, he was glad that he did. He missed him. He missed his goofy smile, his perpetually messy hair, and his warm brown eyes. He missed everything.
Andromeda's home was a welcomed safe haven. As if the clouds parted at the perfect time and the house fell from the sky. It was a much-needed rescue, a welcomed reprise from the hellish torture that was the Black family house. The Tonks’ residence was quite literally the complete opposite. Chipped tea cups and muddy rain boots, squishy toys covering the floor, music playing constantly, and flowers on the windowsill. It had love and warmth, and they graciously accepted Regulus into the fold. He made sure to help out, he never needed to do any chores at home, but found he was a quick learner and quickly became the designated laundry do-er, finally figuring out the proper way to fold all of Nymphordora's baby onesies. He was learning to cook from Ted, slowly being able to hold his own in the kitchen. He found he enjoyed it, the preciseness of recipes, and the methodology, it was very soothing.
He missed his brother, his new friends, and James - whatever James was becoming to him. Friends were another thing he was getting used to. Remus and Lily had even created a group chat with him that quickly morphed into a digital book club, each one sharing their current read and the others becoming so interested that they read it as well.
James kissed his cheek before heading off to shower before class, promising to meet with him after. Regulus unpacked in Sirius’ dorm, where he would reside for the weekend. He was only there for two nights but was desperate to have every possible second with James.
***
james: hey! i’m done class, where are you??
reg: by the lake :)))
James walked down from the school to see Regulus by the lake - a wonderful apparition sitting by the water in a sweater ten times too big for him. His eyes were closed and his head was tilted up to the sun. His knees were hugged to his chest and his feet were tapping on the ground, following some unknown melody. His hair was falling forward, just long enough to touch his eyebrows and curl around his ears. He was just so beautiful. So serene. If he got stuck in a time loop, James thought, he wouldn't be upset if it was today. He wouldn't mind just reliving this moment over and over again, it sounded quite nice actually.
Regulus opened one eye and looked at him.
“What are you staring at?”
James sat and lay back on the grass, putting his arms behind his head.
“Nothing, nothing.” He smiled.
James closed his eyes, soaking up the sun and the unexpected wonderful day. The weather was surprisingly warm, there was still a crisp autumn chill, though the cloudless sun and warm sun made it very enjoyable to stay outside. Suddenly the bright orange light behind his eyeballs turned to a cool dark.
“Do people swim in the lake? Or is it just for decoration? Like a gross flouting of wealth?’ Regulus' head peered down at him, blocking the sun.
“No, people swim in it.” James sat up on his eyebrows. Regulus was standing up and had started to take off his sweater.
He started taking off his jeans until he stood in his boxers and walked to the water. James had forgotten how to breathe. He turned around, raising his hand to block out the sun.
“You coming?” Regulus turned back slightly to look at James, raising his hand to shield his eyes from the sun.
James frantically started taking off layers. Jumping around trying to get his trainers off.
Regulus was already neck deep by the time he got there. He swam out to meet him. The lake was deceptively shallow. The rock and dirt were dark at the bottom which made it look deeper than it really was. Both he and Regulus were bending their knees to be fully submerged.
Something James had discovered about Regulus - he led with his head, nuzzling and nudging, he always went head first. Going in for hugs he would rest his head on James's chest first, later wrapping his arms around his waist. He was just shorter enough for it to work. They fit together so perfectly, slotting together so nicely.
They swam and splashed around for as long as they could before the cold caught up to them and they started to shiver. Teeth chattering, they put on their clothes again. The warm sun on Regulus’ skin was not doing enough, just barely reaching the surface of his chill. So they made their way back to James's dorm, where their costumes for that night's party were kept.
They walked back to the school holding hands, it seemed so natural like Regulus couldn't imagine doing anything else with James. Like that is just how they were always supposed to be, connected, fused together. Regulus never wanted to let go.
In the dorm, they caught Remus leaving, in full Velma dress, black-rimmed glasses, and all.
“You look great, Remus!” James said encouragingly and he opened the door.
Remus turned around as he continued to walk down the hallway.
“Thanks, James. See you tonight.” With a mock salute, he turned, disappearing behind the corner.
***
When Sirius opened his door, Remus was left speechless. Wearing the shortest, tightest dress Remus had ever seen. It was a velvet, deep purple dress with a small lime green scarf tied around his neck. Knee-high white gogo boots, his dark hair pulled back with a purple headband.
“Are you ready to go?” Sirius asked, looking at Remus with a slightly confused expression. Remus’ brain glitched, getting stuck on the image of Sirius in a tight purple dress.
“Not yet.” Remus managed to reply, pushing Sirius back into the bedroom, their mouths finding each other before the door was even fully shut. It was all frantic hands and squished lips as Remus fumbled with the hem of Sirius's dress.
***
They arrived at the party fashionably late, costumes slightly fussed. It was an insane setup, lights and paper ghosts hanging from the branches of the trees, someone had even brought one of those large speakers with a disco ball, casting the forest in multicolored strobe lights. There was a large group already, hanging in and around the trees, teetering on the edge of the forest, no one really wants to admit it, but the forest is fucking creepy.
They found Marlene and Dorcas already there, drinks in hand, leaning into each other like they were holding each other up.
“Our squad is here!” Marlene cried, splaying her arms out in welcome. She was dressed Shaggy, wearing a long green shirt and trousers, and holding a stuffed dog. Dorcas was in flared jeans and a white shirt, orange scarf tied around her head, completing their crew as Fred.
James and Regulus arrived even later than them, dressed cozily in sweaters and brown trousers, James wearing Neils' crown of thorns.
They all found drinks and their friends, and the night began to blur into one chaotic technicolor mess. Sirius couldn't focus on anything but Remus, in his short skirt and dark glasses. The music became muffled, lights blurring, but Remus's face stayed in high-resolution focus. He wanted to touch Remus in ways he knew he shouldn't, not here, not with the crowd, but there was such a longing in him, a deep desire to hold him, kiss him, just be with him, that the dancing bodies around them started to lose their significance. Would it really matter if he just kissed him right here? Who would know? Why should he care?
Walpurga.
Shit.
Her name pierced through his thoughts like a violent shard. Of course, he couldn't do this, be on such a display. It would get back to her. He felt angry, powerless, and weak. Letting her control his every move even all the way out here.
He tried to shake it off, attempting to dispel his thoughts with more drinks and crazed dancing. It didn’t work, not truly.
He took Remus's hand and pulled him close, this intimacy he allowed, trying to reason that a bunch of drunk students probably wouldn't remember much about this night anyway. He stood on his toes to speak in his ear.
“Let’s get out of here?’
Remus nodded and they weaved through the crowd, Sirius leading them both back to Sirius’ dorm. He needed to leave the crowds before he did something really stupid.
Their lips crashed together as Sirius shut the door. Remus’ hands were around his waist, gently pushing him back into his bed. Sirius let Remus lead, as his lips traveled his body, sweet kisses, and warm breath.
Sirius let himself get lost, eyes closed and breath heavy.
So lost in fact, that he didn't even think about his large windows. How his room was on the ground floor, how the curtains were left open, how his desk lamp was still on, how someone could’ve easily walked by and seen the two of them, deeply entangled in his bed.
Regrettably, the thought didn't even cross his mind.