Chapter 1
Sirius frantically rummaged through his bag, trying to find his cigarettes.
Fuck.
He frustratingly threw his bag aside, his mother must've taken them again. She hated it when he smoked since it was an ‘image not befitting of the family name’. Though he saw her on more than one occasion anxiously smoking, hiding in the drawing-room. It’s only acceptable if no one sees it apparently, which pretty much sums up his entire family.
His family was one of old money - multiple vacation houses and eyes in every corner of the city. They had their hands in business, politics, and major influence within the major schools. They had their names on buildings and faces in newspapers and magazines. All of it made Sirius want to strike a match and burn it all - run away and never look back. But that was just the problem. There was nowhere to run to. Nowhere in London that his mother couldn't find him, no friends close enough to ask for help. He was stuck. Trapped. But that didn't mean he stayed quiet.
Sirius was loud. What the tabloids described as ‘young, punk and full of rebellion’. Almost always seen in his prided leather jacket - true vintage he found in the charity shop bins - a major find he was immensely proud of. His long wavy hair, chipped black nail polish, and platform boots. He was practically a style icon, but his parents just thought he was disrespecting the family name, which worked for him too.
All of his behavior - his dress, his attitude, sneaking out to shows, and flipping the bird to the occasional photographer - could all be explained away by adolescent rebellion. Some unruly teen going through a phase, except for his recent endeavor. He had gone to an explicitly queer club. A small, trendy little place, with good music, colorful lighting, and fun people. Somehow someone got a picture of him dancing awfully close to another boy on the dancefloor - his back turned so it was pressed right up onto his chest, his hand wrapped around his waist, Sirius’ arm reaching up and gripping the back of his head. Nothing that could be explained as average teen rebellion, or heterosexual behavior. Somehow this person must have recognized him, they are not in the tabloids a lot, usually in the news for some political support, or donation, but the person with the camera must've known him, as it was leaked to the press the following morning. Having a son of London's most influential, anti-LGBT+ families grinding at a gay bar was considered a major scandal - and his mother was not pleased.
Though to say that his mother wasn't pleased was an understatement, she was furious. After raised voices and raging tempers, it was decided Sirius should be sent away. And once the bruises faded, that's exactly what happened.
Which is how he ended up in the back seat of a Rolls-Royce on his way to a new school, without any fucking cigarettes.
He reached for the crumpled brochure poking out of his bag, flipping through it for the hundredth time.
Hogwarts.
What a poncey name.
The pamphlet was full with stiffly posed pictures of clean-cut white boys, rigidly smiling in varying spaces throughout the school or action shots of the rugby team. Tackling each other and rolling around in the mud. Pretty homoerotic if you asked him. Though Hogwarts was co-ed, and there were a few pictures of some girls sprinkled throughout as well, always in an academic setting though, it seemed as though only the boys had any sports teams.
He probably would’ve been more thrilled with the situation, after all, he won’t be living at home anymore, but leaving his brother Reggie was like a punch to the gut, and probably why it was decided as proper punishment. Sweet, quiet, sarcastic, Reggie was the only thing that was good about that house. When they were kids they would make blanket forts in his bedroom and tell made-up stories, holding a flashlight in front of their faces. When they were older, he and Reg would explore London, trying to find every small indie bookshop and spend hours roaming the large public libraries. They were each other's safety. Regulus was quite honestly his best friend, and nothing felt worse than knowing he was leaving him alone in that house.
He took out his phone to text him. Sirius had only been traveling for a few hours but he already missed him.
the driver has been playing the same cd for the past three hours
80s greatest pop hits
kill me now
put headphones on and stop complaining you drama queen
and i will not stand for this 80s slander
i am NOT being dramatic
i will admit, there is worse music
and there are some iconic bops
BUT
if i have to hear that dirty dancing song one more time i am hijacking the car
and drive yourself to school? you’d crash the car before you’d get there
how DARE you
i passed my test with flying colors
yeah after failing SIX times
you’re the walking stereotype of ‘gays can’t drive’
this is homophobia.
further proving my point, drama queen
anyway, i have to go to maths,
be safe and try not to murder anyone your first day <3
meannnnnnn
love you
just facts
love you too
After listening to his Spotify playlist full through multiple times (taking Reg’s advice and wearing headphones, volume high enough to drown out the upbeat synth of the 80s) the car finally pulled into the gravel driveway leading to the school. In the middle of nowhere Scotland, with a large forest and grassy hills surrounding it, the school was an old castle. It was all very extravagant, Sirius couldn't help but roll his eyes. There was some atrocious water fountain in the middle of the roundabout in front school. On the front steps, there was a group of students in navy blazers and red ties and a wrinkly white man with half-moon spectacles in an obnoxious velvet blue suit. They were all standing around and no one was speaking, it seemed as though they were waiting for him.
The car shut off and Sirius tried to collect himself, he took his bag and put on his black round sunglasses (it was sunny outside but they also just made him look very fucking cool).
The assumed headmaster walked over to greet him and introduced himself as Dumbledore. He went on to explain the school's values or some bullshit, which Sirius wasn't following. His gaze tried to take in his new surroundings. The school was an actual castle. Old brown stone, gargoyles, ornate windows - the whole ordeal. It was massive, the grounds around the school lush and green, everything so pristine and wealthy.
Sirius in his leather jacket and scuffed, floppy doc martens already felt out of place. He knew he was supposed to fit in here, but just because his family could afford to bring him here - he still felt like it was a space that wasn't meant for him specifically.
He was introduced to the group (the student council) and in most, he noticed the light of recognition in their eyes when Dumbledore said his last name, some were marveling at the car he came in, while others just seemed annoyed to be there.
Sirius tried to be nice - polite at the least, but he really couldn't be bothered and probably came off more aloof and unimpressed than was acceptable.
A redhead girl who had been giving him a fierce death glare, stepped forward after Dumbeldore finished speaking.
“And this is the head of our student council, Lily Evans.” Dumbledore gestured to Lily, who was. smiling kindly, though it didn't reach her eyes.
“Pleasure to meet you, Sirius.” She extended her hand formally, and he took it. Her nails were painted a pretty mint green color and she was wearing a few dainty gold rings. “I’ll be giving you a tour of the school, helping you find your dorm, where your classes are, and such.”
“Thanks.” Sirius smiled stiffly and tightened his grip on his bag. It was an old black leather messenger bag, with silver buckles and a nice long strap, covered in pins and patches - trying to find a bag big enough to fit his school stuff and that looked punk rock was a challenge - this was the closest thing to acceptable that he could find.
After introductions from the rest of the council and Dumbledore droning on about the school's history, Sirius was led through the big wooden doors, trailing behind Lily, dragging his massive, stuffed suitcase behind him.
He was brought through long hallways, stone floors with large windows, and high ceilings. Their footsteps echoed, along with Lily’s voice. She was explaining what each classroom was for, pointing out a few of the many old oil paintings lining the walls, some of the old headmasters, others of just random still lifes that relate to the school in some minute, obscure way. Sirius tried to pay attention but lost interest pretty quickly. Eventually, he was brought to the dorms. It was a wing on the far end of the school and felt just as old and dusty as the rest of the school. The doors were numbered and were lined all down a long corridor.
“So this is yours.” Lily gestured to the door at the far end of the hallway. “You’re supposed to have a roommate but Peter transferred out this year. So you get a double room all to yourself.” She explained with a hint of bitterness in her voice.
Sirius nodded a bit, rocking back and forth on his heels. Slightly anxious to just get inside his room and not talk to a single soul for the rest of the night.
“Well. That's it for me then.” Lily smiled tightly. “I’m around if you have any questions, it's my job as head of the student council to welcome all new students so I've done all this before. Classes start first thing tomorrow, here's your schedule and some other stuff.” She handed him a folder full of papers, he took it but did not open it. “And McGonagall, the school's counselor, wants to meet with you before you start, so do that before. Her office is listed there.”
“Right,” Sirius replied abruptly. He should be nicer. He could be nicer. But honestly, he just can't be bothered. Traveling the whole day and just interacting with his mother had really drained him.
“Yeah. Ok.” Lily said, unimpressed. “Night, then.”
Sirius didn't even bother replying as Lily had already taken off down the hall. He opened his door, taking in the room. It was decently sized. Two twin beds were on either side of the room. One with neatly made navy blue sheets, the other was stripped bare. There were windows facing out to the gardens and some sort of lake in the distance. He had a desk and wardrobe, where he dropped his bags and started throwing his clothes in. After a half-arsed attempt at unpacking, Sirius put on his headphones and collapsed on the bed.
The whole school felt a bit stiff, posh, and preppy. Sirius didn't really see himself settling in well, but as he fell asleep that night in a quiet room, he felt happy to be out of London.