Scandinavian Peninsula & Iceland
That night, they play board games and talk about nothing and everything until Hope has to go back to her hotel room around midnight to wake up early the next morning. Hope hugs both Sirius and Remus at the door, and demands for them to come around for dinner next time they are in the United Kingdom.
It only takes a one hour and a half flight for them to land in Helsinki the next morning. Remus is ready for the cold temperatures; but he is surprised to see that with a jumper and his new leather jacket, he isn’t too chilly.
Now that Remus has seen his mum, he feels awfully homesick. He has been feeling this way for a while: you can’t leave your home country for six months and not miss it even a little bit. There’s only ten days left of this trip, and Remus finds himself feeling homesick and sad.
Ten days, and he’s back to a normal young adult life, with a new flat, and classes in university. Ten days, and he won’t be with his best friends, looking at incredible places, taking pictures of Helsinki’s port under the night lights while Sirius next to him draws the boats on his sketchbook. He won’t be listening to Lily’s plans in Paris, Mary’s stories from back at school, and Dorcas’ witty jokes. In ten days, Pandora and Xeno will be a married couple, Lily and Mary will be Parisians and Remus will be in Cambridge with the love of his life.
The more the trip goes, the more he thinks that nothing will ever top this. He won’t ever feel as happy as he did for the last six months with his best friends around the world.
Two days pass, days they spend in Finland, until they go up north on the 22nd of September for Pandora and Xenophillius’ wedding in Lapland.
Remus would be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to it; even if he was forced to buy a tailored costume back in Warsaw. Knowing Pandora and Xeno, he knows their wedding isn’t about to be a normal affair.
And he isn’t disappointed. They arrive in early afternoon to the wedding location: it’s a small bay around a lake that is currently frozen over: the owner tells them as they arrive that the first snow of the season happened the night before, and that the entire region has been snowed in. It’s beautiful, everything is white and blue, and really, Remus can’t imagine anything more romantic. Xeno asks him, Sirius and James to help set up the chairs; apparently, they aren’t getting married inside of the small cabin that looks very warm and cosy but outside in the freezing blizzard.
Nonetheless, it’s absolutely beautiful. The chairs are some shade of golden and all adorned with some flowers at the top, they install a glittering golden carpet in the middle of the chairs as to make the walk to the altar even more beautiful. In itself, the altar is quite simple, just a few flowers hanging everywhere, making everything look so magical and like a fairytale. Xenophillius has booked a marching band that stays on the side with their instruments – one of them has an electric guitar, which Remus thinks uncommon for a wedding march, but each to their own, he guesses – and around three in the afternoon, everything looks gorgeous and ready to go.
Xeno orders them to get changed into the groom suite inside of the cabin, and James, Sirius and Remus comply without thinking. Lily, Mary, Marlene, Dorcas and Regulus are in the bridal suite with Pandora, since they are all somewhat involved in the wedding party.
When they enter the groom suite, they find a younger blonde guy who looks like a younger version of Xenophillius.
“Hey, guys, you must be the other best men.” He greets with a grin, “I’m Zephyrius, Phyllius’ brother.” He introduces himself.
“Nice to meet you, man.” James offers his hand, that Zephyrius shakes.
“Excuse me, other best men?” Remus frowns at him in confusion.
“Well, yeah.” The blond man shrugs, “That’s why you’re in the groom suite isn’t it?”
“Uh, I guess.” Remus mumbles, then whispers in Sirius’ direction, “Did you know we were best men?”
“No clue.” Sirius shrugs, and when Xeno enters the room as well, he asks, “Hey, man, are we your best men, by any chance?”
Xeno stares at him like he has grown two heads, “Obviously. You three are like my brothers. Just like Zephyrius is my brother.” He grins at them.
“Oh, great, man.” James smiles tightly, “Four best men though? Isn’t that a lot?”
“Oh, no, my Dora has a best man, a maid of honour and three bridesmaids. I’m allowed four best men.” He grins at them.
“I’ve probably spoken like three sentences to him.” Sirius whispers in Remus’ ear.
“And you’re his brother now.” Remus teases.
“Who’s the flower girl? If you’re doing this sort of thing.” James asks.
Xeno shrugs, “Juni the cat, obviously.” He says, and doesn’t even let them time to think about how impossible that sounds, “Anyway, we’re on in fifteen. Remus, you’re the first to come out with Mary.” He says and walks into a changing room, leaving them alone there.
“I’m not even changed.” Remus states
“I had no idea we were part of his wedding party.” James whispers, mindful to not be heard by Xeno’s brother.
“Have any of you heard about Juni lately? I completely forgot we had her.” Sirius asks worryingly.
“How is she even supposed to bring the rings?” Remus asks in his confusion, but quickly discards it in favour of getting ready. Even he wouldn’t want to look horrible on the pictures.
Getting ready under fifteen minutes is hard, but they manage it: one final look in the mirror as Remus sprays on some cologne he saves for special occasions, and he is ready to walk Mary to the aisle in his cream coloured tailored suit with a fresh haircut Xeno made them have on the first day in Helsinki – yes, maybe that should have made Remus think that he was more than just a guest at this wedding – and a bouquet of blue dahlias.
He walks out of the small cabin to find Mary already waiting for him: her hair is up in a formal bun, and she is wearing a light green dress that Remus thinks is probably made of silk or satin. She smiles at him and accepts the bouquet he offers her before hooking her arm in his and walking towards the altar.
Now with the guests and music, everything looks even more enchanted. Despite it being afternoon, fairy lights are lit all over the chairs and carpet, the snow is so dazzlingly white and everyone is so well dressed Remus feels self-conscious. He recognises almost everyone: the entire Experience Trip is invited, and the only people Remus doesn’t know are a bunch of blond-headed people, whom he couldn’t guess are Xeno’s or Pandora’s relatives.
Thankfully, Remus doesn’t trip or fall, only kisses Mary’s hand when they reach the altar – upon demand in his ear just before – and stands at the right of the altar, where he is told is the groom’s side.
He watches with a smile as James follows with Lily, both wearing identical clothing as Remus and Mary, although Lily’s hair isn’t in a bun but in a half up half down, orange tresses falling over the green of her dress. Next to enter is Sirius with Marlene who is wearing the same suit as the groomsmen but in green, matching the bridesmaids. Regulus enters next with Zephyrius, wearing the same suit as Marlene, and once everyone is standing on either sides of the altar, the groom and bride are ready to come out.
The music, who was until now calm and elegant, turns into the classical wedding march, the cue for them to come. First to walk out of the cabin are Dorcas and Xenophillius. Dorcas is wearing the same dress as the bridesmaids, but while she looks beautiful, he is certain that everybody’s eyes are on Xenophillius Lovegood. His suit is, for a lack of a better word, white. Like, blindingly white. Remus finally finds the weird things he had been expecting at a wedding like this. He is wearing a white top hat that makes him look like a magician, more than anything else, and the white is definitely not his colour, with his already pale features and platinum hair.
Although, Remus thinks, that’s probably the look he was going for. Like some Viking dude who really likes white.
He finally reaches the altar, and waits there for Pandora to come out. Remus heard from Lily and Mary that her dress was phenomenal, so he is quite intrigued to know what qualifies as such.
Pandora’s overall look does qualify as phenomenal, he thinks. She comes out of the cabin in a beautiful white dress with flowers everywhere that make her look like some sort of winter fairy. She looks ethereal in a way that goes beyond attraction; Pandora is simply beautiful. He knows everyone is thinking the same way when he looks through the crowd, where everyone’s jaw has somewhat dropped.
The ceremony is rather quick: there isn’t any long religious chant or whatever Remus knows there sometimes is at weddings; mostly music, vows that sound kind of weird but still romantic on a deeper level – for example, Remus was somewhat weirded out by Xenophillius asking her to join him until they’re food for the worms to eat – and when the church in the village over strikes four in the afternoon, Pandora Phoebe Malfoy is now Pandora Phoebe Lovegood.
Once the party is started, Remus feels more in his element. He nurses a drink at the bar with Marlene and James, talking about the ceremony and the guests when he hears the band start to play a song he knows all too well.
He almost snaps his neck in order to find Sirius, and when he does, he finds grey eyes already on him. Sirius smirks and waves him over, and really, Remus doesn’t have a choice. He walks over to the table Sirius is with Mary and Regulus, and is offered a hand.
“Will you accord me this dance?” Sirius asks with a smile.
“Of course, my gentleman.” Remus complies, mirroring Sirius’ grin. He takes Sirius hand and walks him over to the dancefloor, where a bunch of couples are already slow dancing to Billy Joel’s Vienna. Remus doesn’t let go of Sirius hand, but puts his other hand on Sirius’ waist. Sirius wraps an arm around Remus’ neck and lets himself be led to the slow rhythm of the piano.
“Remember the first time we heard that song?” Sirius asks him, with a grin. Of course, Remus does. How could he ever forget?
“Yeah.” Remus smiles at him, “We were alone in the dorm for some reason, and it came on the radio. We listened to it, and we cried.” he recounts, “We made it our song right away.”
“Third year.” Sirius chuckles, “I should have known best friends don’t have songs just for them.”
“Maybe some do.” Remus shrugs, “But honestly, I think I’ve always known that what I felt for you wasn’t just friendly. I think I always knew that I’d end up loving you.” He smiles at Sirius, who rolls his eyes at him fondly.
“Here comes sappy Remus.” He sighs, making Remus laugh. Then, he draws him in a slow kiss, still swaying along to the music. They part and stay like that, close together and swaying for a while in silence, until Sirius breaks it again.
“Do you think it’ll be us one day?” he asks tentatively, “This…” he gestures around the room, at the dancing people and at Pandora and Xeno, dancing in their wedding dresses and suits.
Remus looks at him and smiles. Sirius looks absolutely gorgeous. He hadn’t taken the time to truly look at him, but he looks even more beautiful than he does usually. His curls are bouncy and shiny, his eyes are adorned with black and his lashes long, he is wearing the burgundy lipstick he hasn’t worn since the night he told Remus that he was in love with him, and the suit makes him look every bit eatable. He simply looks like a dream, like a thousand poems and melodies, like art in all of its forms, and he is currently asking Remus if he wants to get married someday.
Life just keeps getting better, doesn’t it?
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” Remus whispers, bringing Sirius closer, whose breath catches.
“Are you thinking it or are you looking for a distraction on the wedding thing?” he asks, quite wisely, if Remus is honest. It’s definitely something he would do if he wasn’t so stupidly in love.
“I’m thinking it.” Remus smiles, “I’m always thinking it.” He tells him, “And no, it’s not a distraction. I guess I just never thought of it.” He shrugs, and doesn’t miss the flash of uncertainty going through Sirius’ eyes.
“Never?” he asks, and that makes Remus wonder just how much Sirius has been thinking about their possible future wedding.
“Never saw myself as the marrying type, anyway.” He explains, “But I think it could be us one day, yeah.” He smiles softly, happy to see Sirius’ smile get back in place.
“Good. Can’t leave you celibate for too long.” He says, making Remus cock his head.
“What does it change anyway?” he asks.
Sirius only shrugs, “I want to be Mr Lupin-Black. And I want to be able to introduce you like, ‘hello, have you met my husband?’ that sounds amazing, doesn’t it?” he rambles, and Remus can only laugh.
“You’ve put an awful lot of thought into this.” He comments, “Lupin-Black.” He repeats, “Why not Black-Lupin?”
“No.” Sirius shakes his head, “I don’t want to be a Black. Half a Black is already enough.
“Yeah, I understand.” he cocks his head, “I like Lupin-Black.” Remus comments.
Sirius grins and lets his head fall on Remus’ chest, “Are we insane for having this conversation after just three months of dating?” he asks.
“Probably.” Remus chuckles, “But we both know how it’s going to end anyway.”
“And how is that?” Sirius asks with eyebrows raised.
“With us being food for the worms.” He quotes Xenophillius’ vows. Sirius laughs and settles comfortably against Remus’ chest.
“We have all the time in the world to figure it out anyway.” He sighs, “We can take our time.”
____________________________________
On the 23rd, they board a plane in the afternoon to Stockholm after three days in Finland and Lapland. Everyone is still either drunk or hangover from the wedding, Pandora and Xeno are on cloud nine and Moody is trying to get them to concentrate on the city. But well, the day right after a wedding only one week before the very end is always a little hazy and tired. That’s why, in the end, Moody lets them go easy and doesn’t force them to go to any museum – which even Remus couldn’t be able to concentrate on right now. In the end, they visit Stockholm lazily, strolling across Söder Mälarstrand and looking at the colourful houses along the river. Remus isn’t one for cold temperatures, but he still really loves it.
They visit a museum about the Vikings the next day, when everyone is a little more alert, which Remus finds interesting. Really, at this part of the trip, Remus doesn’t really care about what he can see and what he can learn; no, he really just wants to have fun with his friends. Which he does that night in Stockholm.
It all starts inside of the hotel’s lobby, where Remus’ ten people friend group is lounging cosily, talking about everything and nothing, when Sirius decides that he wants this night to be special.
“Guys, guys. I just thought of something.” He declares proudly, making most of everyone groan.
“That’s never a good thing.” Lily shakes her head.
“Did it hurt?” Regulus asks.
“Oh, don’t listen to them, Black.” Marlene grins at him, “You know whatever it is, I’m on board.”
“Yeah, me too.” James grin, “I’m always there to support your ideas.”
“Thank you! These are real friends!” Sirius exclaims, pointing at James and Marlene, “They know that my idea is brilliant anyway.”
Marlene shakes her head, “No, I’m just bored. I know your idea is probably extremely bad; I just want some entertainment.”
“Still counts as support.” Sirius ignores her, “Okay, look, guys. We just spent the best six months of our lives together. We have to honour that somehow!” he starts, looking at them excitedly.
“And how do you plan to honour that?” Mary prompts, staring at him incredulously.
Sirius stares at them all with a giddy expression on his face and drops the bomb, “Matching tattoos!” he announces. Remus looks around the room, and really, the reactions go from horrified to considering it.
“No. Absolutely not. I’m taking back anything I might’ve said.” Marlene shakes her head in horror.
“Aw, are you scared of needles, Kinnon?” Dorcas teases, pinching her cheek tantalizingly.
“Yes, fuck off.” Marlene swats Dorcas’ hand, “I don’t want to be stabbed, excuse me.” She rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, I’m out too.” Mary shakes her head, “I love my body too much to inflict it this pain.”
“No, guys please!” Sirius tries, “It’ll be fun, and I swear it doesn’t hurt!”
“I’ll do it.” James smiles at him, “You know I love tattoos.” He tells him, and Sirius sighs.
“Yeah, thanks, Prongs, but we already have like a thousand matching tattoos. I wanted to have one with the group.” He pouts.
“What would the tattoo even be?” Lily asks.
Sirius smiles at her, “I don’t really know. Something small that all of us could get. Like a number or a symbol.”
“The number five.” Pandora smiles at them, “It makes the most sense. We are five girls and five boys. We’ve travelled through fifteen countries. Out of all of us, all of our astrological star symbols are either elements, making us, as a unity, the balance of the four elements, which is represented by the number five. There are five visible planets in the sky.” She lists effortlessly, like all of those facts about the number five come naturally to her, “And also, in numerology, five represents freedom and luck, which we have all found on this trip and in each other.”
A beat passes, “How do you know so much stuff about the number five?” Dorcas asks, astounded.
“I didn’t understand anything about the astrology thing.” Mary disclaims.
Pandora rolls her eyes, “It’s not that hard. I was born on the fifth of April, which makes me an Aries, which is a fire sign.” She starts.
“Born on the fifth! There it is again.” Xeno points out, making Pandora smile.
“That’s why I love this number so much. Anyway. You, Mary, are born in early September, which makes you a Virgo. It’s an earth sign. Regulus is born in early July, which makes him a Cancer, which is a water sign. And finally, Lily is born in the end of January, so she’s an Aquarius, an air sign. Combined, all four elements form a fifth one: balance.” Pandora explains calmly, “That’s why our group represents the number five.”
“But what do those sign and elements mean?” Remus asks. He fears he might be too cynical for this.
“Oh, how I wish I could tell you.” Pandora sighs, “But if I start, we’ll never get our tattoos.”
That seems to wake Sirius up, “We’re getting them then? The number five?”
Dorcas cocks her head, “Where? Do we all get it in the same place?” she asks.
“On our ankles.” Sirius nods at her, “It’s the best place for matching tattoos.”
“Wait, are we really doing this?” Lily asks excitedly.
“Who’s in?” James asks around the room. Pandora and Xenophillius raise their hands, just like Dorcas and Lily. Remus raises his as well, even though it was never really a question, and surprisingly, Regulus does too.
“Really, Reggie? Oh, you are warming my heart.” Sirius clutches at his heart.
“Don’t make me regret it.” He rolls his eyes, “I like tattoos.”
Mary looks around the room, “I mean, if everyone is doing it, I guess I will too…” she tries, stealing a glance in Marlene’s direction.
“No! Don’t you leave me alone!” she argues, “I’m really scared guys.” She admits, and Remus is surprised to see no one mocking her. How, those really are strange times.
“Don’t worry, Marls, we’ll all be there as well.” James tells her soothingly.
“And I’ll hold your hand through it.” Dorcas smiles at her.
“Please?” Sirius tries again, “I really want us to get something as a group.”
Marlene looks around at the group, and nods softly, “Okay, I’ll do it. But I’ll blame you if it hurts.” She points at Sirius menacingly, making them laugh.
So, that’s how they make their way to a tattoo parlour around nine pm that night, a whole group of ten gangly teenagers into one small shop with just one chair. It takes the better of two hours for all ten of them to get their ‘5’ tattooed on their right ankle, but when they walk back out onto the street at eleven o’clock, they are all sporting massive grins on their faces, even Marlene.
_____________________________
Interlude: Lily’s pov.
Lily has never gotten tattooed before, so when she wakes up on the 25th of September with a cursive 5 drawn over the side of her ankle, it seems weird. It’s one of those things that make her realise just how grown she is now. Like, right now, Lily Evans is old enough to get tattooed in Finland on a random Tuesday. It seems crazy to her.
She keeps thinking about it through the day; they head over to Oslo in Norway, and it really hits her that in only five days, she’ll be going back home for only one day before heading back to Paris. She and Mary decided it a few days before, upon Remus’ panic about the future: they will see their families in Reading for Mary and Liverpool for Lily on the first of October, and then they’ll take the Eurostar to Paris along with their stuff to move into Regulus’ flat.
After Regulus offered them the flat, which Lily still has trouble believing, he sent them pictures of the place: it’s a two bedroom flat with a spacious living room and a gigantic window letting loads of light in. There’s already some furniture, like beds and a table, but a couch is definitely missing. Either way, Lily is certain she and Mary won’t have any trouble making it feel like home.
It’s in the Latin neighbourhood, between Notre Dame and the Pantheon, only a twenty minutes walk to Lily’s university, and the building looks so expensively beautiful. Lily could’ve never hoped to ever live in a place like this, but she supposes something goes from befriending Britain’s most wealthy people. Or, well, could Lily actually call Regulus a friend?
Really, she hasn’t spent so much time with him; she mostly disliked him because of James, and then disliked herself when she realised what a good person he is. But friends? Lily is certain that people like Regulus Black don’t call anyone their friend.
That’s why, the next day when they head to the Norwegian Fjords to see the landscapes, and that Moody asks them to get in pairs to get in the small wooden boats over the lake, Lily asks Regulus if he wants to pair up.
“Yes, sure.” Regulus agrees, and even if Lily knows that it’s mostly because he doesn’t have anyone else to pair up with, she smiles at him and lets him choose their boat. It’s a small boat that makes her think of those Viking type of embarkation, and really, she thinks it compliments the scenery perfectly. The lake is reflecting the mountains around, making everything look like a white and blue dream.
They paddle over to the middle of the lake silently. Regulus really knows how to make people feel comfortable in silence: Lily doesn’t have the urge to fill the silence with mundanities, which she probably would have had with someone else. No, it’s only when they cease to move, letting the boat sway gently with the water’s movements, that Lily decides to break the silence.
“Mary and I looked over at the pictures you sent.” She starts, “I don’t know how I can thank you enough. This place looks perfect, and it’s basically in the best arrondissement of Paris.” Lily says solemnly.
Regulus only nods, “Happy to help.” His voice sounds overly bored, but that’s not going to make Lily relent. Every man she has had to deal with before she met James, Remus and Sirius sounded exactly like that: bored and uninterested.
“Can I ask what you’ll be doing once this is over?” Lily tries again. Regulus stares at her for a moment, probably analysing her face to see if she is asking this to stalk him and then kill him or simply to be nice, but he must see no threat in her features.
“I’m staying in Paris too.” He tells her, “Going to Paris’ conservatory.”
Lily’s face breaks out in a grin, “You’ll be in Paris? Oh my God, that’s amazing!” she exclaims.
Regulus only shrugs, “I speak French. And the best ballet and operas are there.”
“Are you going there for ballet or violin?” Lily asks. She heard from Sirius that they used to do ballet when they were little; maybe Regulus never lost his streak for dancing.
“Violin.” Regulus answers curtly, “I haven’t danced in years.”
“Oh, okay. It’s, just, since Sirius said….” She trails off. She imagines, from experience as a younger sibling, that he doesn’t want to be referred to his brother all the time. God knows she hates it when people talk to her about Petunia. “You’re really talented on the violin. Back in Salzburg… that was amazing.” She tells him.
“Thank you.” He nods at her again, “It was more intensive training since the age of three than talent, if I must be honest.” Regulus offers, which is the first real information she gets about the Black family’s dynamics, more than them being a crazy sect. She heard a little from Pandora, who told her that his brother’s wife, Narcissa, who she thinks is actually Sirius and Regulus’ cousin, has a weird family who is full of incest and maltreatment of children. Either way, she thinks that hearing Regulus talk about his childhood isn’t something she should get used to.
“Right.” Lily nods, “Well, I’m sure you’ll do great at the conservatory.” She smiles at him.
“Thanks.” He answers and turns back to the lake. Lily thinks that he probably doesn’t want to talk anymore, so she gives him a minute or two. When she thinks it has been long enough, she decides to try again.
“Hey, I was just thinking…” Lily starts, gaining Regulus’ attention back. He turns slowly to face her and raises an eyebrow, “It’s just, since I only know Mary and some old friend from camp in Paris, I thought maybe we could keep contact?” she suggests somewhat bashfully, “I mean, you’ll be my landlord, so of course we’ll keep in contact, but I meant more, like, friends, maybe?” she smiles tentatively at him.
Regulus stares at her for a long moment again, once again as if trying to decipher her real thoughts. He squints at her, and Lily starts to wonder if she has any underlying thoughts, which she doesn’t: she really just wants to be Regulus’ friend. Better to enter an entirely new city with a few contacts, she thinks.
“Did Potter tell you anything?” he whispers, forcing the name out as if it was physically paining him.
If Lily is honest, she had kind of forgotten about that. The thing is, she learned that James and Regulus kissed about two weeks ago, and since then, she hasn’t really thought about it. Sure, the breakup kind of hurt, because she did love him at some point, and the idea of being cheated on wasn’t exactly welcome, but she got over it quite quickly. She doesn’t know if it was because of how busy she was, between Mary’s birthday, Pandora’s wedding and visiting all those places or because she just didn’t care, but Lily hasn’t really thought of James or Regulus in a long time.
Since they broke up, Lily and James have talked a few times, just to make it clear that they were still friends, that they just weren’t involved together anymore. Lily hasn’t been too sad about it: really, she thinks that she grieved their relationship while they were still together. Maybe since the moment James admitted to having a crush on Regulus.
“Yeah, he told me.” Lily nods at him honestly, “But it doesn’t really matter, does it?” she asks.
Regulus frowns at her, as if trying to understand what she means by the look on her face rather than from her words. “Doesn’t it?”
“Why would it matter? I want to be your friend. Even if my ex-boyfriend kissed you once.” She shrugs, and watches at how Regulus continues to look at her like she is insane.
“He…” Regulus trails off, “From my perspective, he kissed me,” he says with a grimace that tells Lily he probably wouldn’t do it again. Shame, James is a damn good kisser. Maybe Regulus is the bad one. “And the next day you two were broken up.” He recounts, “Don’t you resent me for that?”
Lily frowns back at him, “I don’t. I was going to break up with him that night anyway.” She shrugs.
“Oh.” Regulus blurts out, then stares at the bottom of the boat, “I thought you’d try to drown me in the lake in vengeance.”
“Come on.” Lily chuckles, “Like I’d ever do that over a man.”
Regulus offers her a small smile, “Drowning someone has to be over something bigger, you’re right.” He nods at her.
“Should I….be worried?” Lily looks around at the endless water around them with fear in her eyes, and is somewhat startled when that pushes a laugh out of Regulus.
“I won’t drown you. I just offered you my flat.” He rolls with eyes with a smile, which makes Lily think he might actually like her. She has never seen him laugh with anyone but Pandora and Dorcas. Not even with his own brother.
Lily looks at him curiously, “Did you offer it to me because you felt bad for kissing James?” she asks, and is overly surprised to see him blush. It’s very succinct and is gone in less than a second, but she doesn’t miss it.
“Shut up.” Regulus tells her in an exhausted sort of way that makes Lily burst out laughing.
“You did!” she exclaims, “Wow, I never thought it’d be this easy to get a flat.” She chuckles.
“Right, only have to let your shitty boyfriend kiss his best friend’s brother who happens to own a bunch of flats.” He shrugs, “Very easy indeed.”
Lily chuckles, “Pretty much, yeah. Guess I have one James Potter to thank.” She adds, and doesn’t miss the way Regulus rolls his eyes at the name alone.
“That asshole.” Regulus shakes his head, “Please don’t tell anyone he ever got near me. It would be the greatest downgrade in history.”
“Noted.” Lily chuckles. Poor James, it does not look like his crush will be reciprocated anytime soon, she thinks. “So, friends?” she asks.
Regulus nods, “Friends.”
_______________________________________
Interlude: Sirius’ pov
On the 27th, they board on a plane to Reykjavík, their very last destination before heading back home. Sirius has never been one for cold temperatures, finding comfort in beaches more like, but Iceland announces itself to be absolutely lovely. And anyway, who could ever be cold in the arms of one Remus John Lupin?
It’s something that Sirius wonders about often, but even more so right now, one day later in the morning in a hotel room in Iceland’s capital. They spent the whole day before visiting the city, but mostly just being happy to be together for the three last days. So, Sirius didn’t get his sketchbook out, he only stuck to Remus’ side – mostly for warmth, if he is honest (the dude is a walking radiator) – and had fun with his friends, happy to be around them. He could’ve never believed this trip would change his life so much.
Sirius Black arrived in Tokyo a straight confused teenager who had unresolved family issues and used humour as a coping method, and he will leave Reykjavík a happy bisexual man who is deeply in love with his best friend and who mended his relationship with his brother. Life couldn’t be better.
Thinking this, he snuggles closer to Remus under the covers, the person who always manages to make Sirius feel calm and happy, even when his mind has always ever known chaos and instability.
“Sleep well?” Remus asks drowsily, with his low morning voice that Sirius loves so much. He doesn’t really know what is happening to him that morning, but Sirius is feeling so very in love. Like he could eat Remus entirely if it meant keeping his close always.
“Yeah. You?” Sirius asks and pampers Remus’ chest with kisses. He doesn’t even think of taking things further, simply kisses because he loves him. And because Remus’ skin should always be kissed.
“Yeah.” Remus murmurs, then wraps another arm around Sirius, “Love you.”
Sirius smiles, “Love you too.” He tells him, then pulls back from the hug to see Remus more clearly, “Know what I did yesterday when you fell asleep?” he asks. He has been waiting all night to tell him, even in his dreams.
“Breakfast?” Remus asks, and Sirius chuckles.
“Yeah no, you’re the cook here. No, I did something better.” He smiles at Remus, who finally opens his eyes fully, blinking the sleep off his mind.
“What?” he asks, probably because he knows that there’s a sixty percent chance it was something stupid. Sirius doesn’t think it was stupid, but Remus seems to think so more often.
“I bought the flat in Cambridge. And the locals I’ve found in Cambridge to start my tattoo shop.” He announces with a grin. Remus only stares at him, then bursts out laughing.
“God, you should not have free reign over your money.” He shakes his head in despair, “Sirius, the flat costed £350 000. That’s everything Alphard left you.” He tells him gravely, and Sirius only shrugs. God Moony looks hot when he’s angry.
“And I have my parent’s money too. Half of their estate: I could buy like twenty other flats like that.” He rolls his eyes.
“And what do you do when I’ll be done with my master? Do you want to spend your life in Cambridge?” Remus retorts, “Sirius, I told you I didn’t want you to pay the entire thing.” He adds in a sadder voice that makes Sirius tilt.
“Why does it matter do you so much?” he asks, “You know I have more money than anybody would ever need in a lifetime. Let me spend it on us.” Sirius demands. As someone who grew up in wealth, money doesn’t really matter to him. Although, he imagines only people who have money don’t care about it.
Remus frowns at him, “I don’t want to feel like I owe you.” He explains simply, “And I don’t want you to end up resenting me for depending on you financially.” He finally says, the answer to the fight they’ve had about a thousand times now. It makes Sirius smile.
He takes Remus hand and cradles it, mostly because he knows Remus loves it when he does it, “I won’t ever resent you for that. And you can pay the bills, if you want.” Sirius suggests with a smile, “Moony, I just want to live with you. I want to wake up like this every day, next to you in our flat. And I want to be able to hang paintings without having to call the landlord before.” He adds. This, manages to make Remus smile.
“It’s too late for me to argue anyway, isn’t it? If you already bought it.” He asks with a sigh.
“Yep. We’re free to move in whenever.” Sirius grins at him, “If you’ll let me take a peek at your mood board, we’ll have it furnished in no time.”
Remus sighs and grins, “Fine. I guess we’re living in the flat you bought behind my back.” He shakes his head and stares at Sirius, “Only you would do that.” He says in an exasperated sort of way that Sirius knows all too well. It was the same look he’d give him and James after they were done with some sort of weird prank.
“So dramatic.” Sirius rolls his eyes, “I bought it as a surprise. Not behind your back.”
“Potato, pot-ha-to.” Remus cocks his head both ways, “I start class the 7th. Any chance we’re moved in by then?” he asks tentatively.
Sirius waves a hand, “We’ll be home on the first. We have so much time.” He tells him, then squeals, “We’re going to live together!”
“I know we’ve been living together since we were eleven, but I honestly cannot wait.” Remus grins at him and pulls him in a messy kiss that is more teeth than anything else, but Sirius is so impossibly happy. Everything is perfect.
Except for one thing. Sirius realises it through the entire day, and finally finds an opening to talk about it in the afternoon, when they are scheduled to go on a reindeer pulled sleigh tour of the snowy forest. It’s in pairs, and for once, Sirius leaves Remus with Lily to find his very best friend in the world, James Potter.
In him and Remus moving to Cambridge, it means leaving James behind. It means Sirius having to live far away from James. He hasn’t been away from James in years, not since he was spending his summers at Grimauld Place and didn’t see anyone that wasn’t family or part of the cult for two whole months.
And now, Sirius is about to move about 200 miles from him. Because James is going to be a football star in Manchester, and he and Sirius won’t get to see each other anymore. Not seeing James anymore feels like the world is ending.
They board the sleigh talking normally, like they absolutely always do, although James probably realised that Sirius’ mind was elsewhere. He always does.
“What is it that’s bothering you, then?” James asks as the reindeer starts walking over in the forest. The scenery is very beautiful, with the high dark green trees surrounding them covered in snow, and Sirius is certain he’d appreciate it more if he didn’t feel like he was on the edge of losing his best friend.
Sirius sighs, “I bought a flat for Moony and me.” He announces, “In Cambridge.” He adds and feels himself pout.
“That’s great? Why are you sad about it?” James asks him, and it really makes Sirius think back to the times they would have nighttime conversations almost every night, sneaking in the other’s bunk to gossip or talk their feelings out.
“You’re going to be in Manchester.” Sirius states, “It’s so far.”
James worries his lips together, “Yeah.” He sighs, “I know.” He says, and Sirius notices that he looks just as defeated as him. Sirius has seen James at his worst, but it doesn’t happen often. James is a walking ray of sunshine, even if Sirius knows that this isn’t how he always feels, so seeing him sad makes him realise how bad the situation actually is.
“What…” Sirius trails off, “I’m going to miss you so much.” He ends up saying, because he feels it is how it conveys his emotions best.
“Me too.” James nods at Sirius, “I mean, it’s a four-hour train ride. It’s not the end of the world.” He offers, but Sirius only frowns.
“But it’s so long!” he whines. He knows he is being childish, but well. He and James have ‘co-dependency issues’, or whatever Remus used to say. “It’s not fair. I used to have to walk over to your bed to talk.” Sirius underlines and James nods vigorously.
“I know! It’s so unfair!” he pouts as well, mirroring Sirius, “I don’t want to grow up.” He adds in a small voice that makes Sirius think of the young James Potter he met on the train to Hogwin back when he was eleven.
“Me neither.” Sirius sighs. Silence settles over them, both engrossed in their thoughts. If Sirius doesn’t want to grow up, then why does he feel so happy over the prospect of sharing a flat with his boyfriend while opening his business on the side? Those are very grown up things to do, and yet, Sirius feels overly happy about them.
The only thing missing is James. Because ever since he’s met him, James has been part of the picture Sirius painted about his future. And now, Sirius doesn’t feel like he is.
“I’m so scared we’ll grow apart.” Sirius tells him. “Most friendships end after high school. And, you know, we’re moving so far away. What if it screws over our friendship?” he asks, obviously seeking reassurance.
James only frowns, “It won’t happen. Sirius, in case you’ve forgotten, my parents legally adopted you.” He reminds him, making Sirius smile.
“Well, brothers sometimes grow apart. Look at Mufasa and Scar!” he exclaims, then thinks, “Reggie and I grew apart.” He adds in a lower voice.
“And you’re fine now.” James provides, “I promise you, Pads, we won’t grow apart. I’d never let it happen.”
“Me neither.” Sirius nods at him, “Be ready for me to Facetime you all the bloody time.” He smiles at James.
“You better.” James raises his eyebrows at him, “I don’t know anyone in Manchester anyway. I’m about to have so much free time.” He says with an easy smile. Sirius knows him better than to believe he is happy about it.
“Are you going to be alright?” Sirius asks him solemnly, “Alone in a big city?”
James bites his lip, “I hope so.” He sighs, “I was supposed to have Lils with me, but since the breakup and all…” he trails off, “I kind of want to do something stupid.” He announces.
Sirius immediately grins, “What is it? You know I’m on board with all things stupid.”
“You might not be on this one.” James cocks his head and grimaces at Sirius, “I saw this add on Craigslist for a flat-share in Manchester with three other people. I kind of want to try it out.” He declares, making Sirius’ grin slide right off his face.
“And what? You’re going to start a new friend group called ‘The Wanderers’? Their names are going to be Romulus, Reckless and Pan?” Sirius asks with an edge to his voice and a smile on his lips.
James grins, “First off, I loved that joke. And no, Padfoot, I’m not going to replace you.” He rolls his eyes, “Just don’t want to start off in a new city completely alone.”
Sirius nods at him, “Right, so you’d rather not start at all and get sliced to death on your first night in the flat-share?”
“God you sound just like my mum.” James groans, and that makes Sirius laugh.
“Oh yeah, what does Effie have to say about it?” he grins, and watches as James’ smile turns sheepish.
“I haven’t told her yet, actually.” James grimaces, “I thought I could get her to understand more easily if I saw her face to face.”
Sirius grins wickedly, “Please wait for me to have this conversation?” he tells him, and James only sighs dramatically.
“Fine.” He shrugs, “You love to see the bad in people. I’m just saying, it’s not because it’s four complete strangers that they’re psychopaths.” James rolls his eyes. Sirius frowns at him.
“Didn’t you say three people?”
“No, it’s four, I lied.” James admits, “I’m not being crazy here, right? They can be great people. I’m sure they will be.” He shrugs.
At this point, Sirius knows that James has made up his mind, and that if Sirius can’t convince him, then there’s a good chance no one else will. He didn’t know James would set himself up for murder this early in his life. How sad.
“They can be. But they can also be murderers.” Sirius shrugs, “And in Manchester, it’s a fifty-fifty situation.”
“Says the guy whose entire family are murderers.” James rolls his eyes, “I think I have more risks of dying in sharing a dorm with you and Remus than with four complete strangers.”
Sirius cocks his head, “True.” He sighs, “Fine, you can go live with four strangers. Just don’t let them become your new best friend.”
“I won’t.” James smiles at him.
“And promise you’ll visit me at least twice a month.” He demands. James only sticks out his pinky finger.
“Promise.” James swears and hooks his pinky with Sirius’, marking their promise. They won’t be roommates anymore, and it sucks, but at least they’ll always be best friends. No matter what.
___________________________________________
Too soon, way too soon, the very last day comes. The 30th of September 2024 is one day Remus will never forget.
Really, the day was normal: they rounded back to Reykjavík after two days spent up in the mountains to see the Kirkjufell amongst others. They saw the northern lights as well, something so magical Remus doubts he’ll ever get over the feeling, and now, on the 30th, Remus has to say goodbye to all of it.
For the past two days, since the reindeer trained sleigh ride, Remus has mostly stuck to Sirius and James: apparently, they had some heartfelt conversation on their sleigh that made them want to spend as much of the time left on the trip with their fellow marauders. Remus has loved it: spending time with James and Sirius is always amazing, and he has to admit that he will definitely feel a shift when he’ll start living with only Sirius, without James’ dad jokes or his annoying sports advice.
It'll definitely feel like something is missing; but even more so when he will find himself alone for the first time in six months. Even if he has been used to it in boarding school, it’s different now: in class, even if he had to share his dorm and meals with his friends, he also had his own, private study time, or reading time that he absolutely treasured. Now, for the last six months, he has had to share every waking moment with people; the only private time being the shower. Or, well was, until he got with Sirius and that, became a shared moment.
So, all in all, Remus is feeling very bittersweet on the last day. He has to say goodbye to all of his friends, some he doesn’t even know when he’ll ever see again, some he wishes he didn’t have to say goodbye to at all. Lily, for example, who in only a couple of months managed to become one of Remus’ most beloved friends, who will be living in Paris for at least five years. James, Remus’ best friend since he was eleven who is about to live four hours in train away, when he always used to be there. Really, the more he thinks about it, the more he could keep going. He wishes he wasn’t saying goodbye to any of them, but well.
The time is up, and home is calling.
They eat sandwiches, for their last meal, which Remus thinks is very symbolic. He couldn’t count the number of sandwiches he has eaten in the past six months in some airport or train station, ready for the next destination. It’s the eve of October, so everyone is a little chilly, but they stay outside nonetheless, huddled in their ten people group around a bonfire. If they stay outside for the vibes, to smoke or simply to breathe in the air, Remus doesn’t know, but they still sit in the grass, not minding for green stains or mud tracks on their clothes. They’re simply happy to be together, just one last time.
It’s crazy to think that in less than twenty-four hours, Remus will be alone in Wales, in his parents’ farm, getting his stuff ready for university. Time doesn’t really feel real, in moments like these.
“Do you guys want me to take one last photo of your group?” Gideon asks them when he passes their group. They all nod, Remus offers him his camera, and they all stand up next to one another, all wearing wool jumpers or puffy jackets, and smile for the picture.
To the left is Mary and Lily, grinning like madwomen, or maybe just like happy teenagers who have found everything they wanted in vacation. Next to Lily are Regulus and Dorcas, both crossing their arms with a cigarette hanging from each of their mouths, making them look like some sort of bandit couple of the 80’s. Marlene is crouching between them, doing V symbols with her hands and wearing a NY red cap backwards, and standing next to Dorcas is Remus himself, laughing in James’ direction. James is grinning, with both of his arms around Remus’ and Sirius’ necks on either side of him, and Sirius is smirking like an idiot. Next to them are Pandora and Xeno, with Xeno’s arms wrapped around Pandora’s waist from behind making them look every bit like the honeymooned couple they are, with Juni the cat cradled in Pandora’s arms.
The moment Gideon presses click, Remus knows he will cherish this picture forever.
They sit back down, once it’s taken, knowing damn well it’s the last picture they’ll ever have of their group reunited. Or maybe the next one will be at his and Sirius’ wedding, Remus dares to think.
“I can’t believe this is over.” Mary says, breaking the silence.
“Me neither.” Marlene exhales her smoke.
“I’m going to miss you all so much.” James sighs, looking around at the circle. Sirius swats him.
“No. I bet Remus I wasn’t going to cry before ten. It’s nine-thirty.” He warns James, who only smiles.
“You know I’ll only take that as a challenge.” He grins at Sirius.
Remus rolls his eyes, “Like it’s so hard to make him cry. He cried over a dog that looked sad just yesterday.”
“But you should’ve seen him!” Sirius exclaims, “He looked so sad!”
“Am I only learning now that I’m not the biggest crier here?” Mary asks, frowning over at the group.
“Oh no.” Regulus shakes his head, “Sirius is a definition of a cry-baby.”
Sirius gapes at him, “That’s not true! God, even my brother is bullying me.” He shakes his head.
“What, are you going to cry about it?” Marlene cocks an eyebrow, making everyone chuckle.
“That’s so mean.” Sirius shakes his head, “You know what? I’m glad I don’t have to see you all anymore, if it means being persecuted like this.” He crosses his arms.
James scoffs, “And he was crying over it just yesterday.”
“Aw.” Dorcas coos, “You’re going to miss us?”
“I literally just said that, didn’t I?” James frowns at her.
“Not you, Sirius.” Dorcas rolls her eyes, and Sirius throws his arms.
“Of course I’m going to miss you!” he exclaims, “We’ve been glued to the hip for the past six months or so. We have bloody matching tattoos!” Sirius points out, “Of course I’m going to miss you.”
A small beat passes, until Marlene smiles smugly at him, “Ha. Wimp.”
Sirius’ jaw slowly hits the floor, “What did you just say to me, McKinnon?” he squints at her dramatically, and Dorcas rolls her eyes.
“C’mon man, you’re an old wimp. Like, old news.” She rolls her eyes.
Regulus nods at her approvingly, “Nice one.”
“How is that a nice one?” Sirius gapes at them, “That insult was lazy at best.” He rolls his eyes.
“And you’re still going to cry over it.” Dorcas smirks at him.
Lily shakes her head, “I still can’t believe you three just met on this trip.” She points at Marlene, Dorcas and Regulus, “I swear, as a unit you could kill people.”
“Lucky, we don’t.” Dorcas nods.
“But we could.” Marlene grins back.
“Obviously.” Regulus adds, mostly for cinematic effect, Remus thinks.
“But yeah, I agree.” Marlene says in thinking, “It’s crazy that we just met on this trip.”
Dorcas nods, “Feels like we’ve been together forever.” She smiles at her girlfriend, who pecks her on the lips briefly.
Marlene smiles, “When it’s just meant to be.” She shrugs.
“What will you two do once this is over?” Remus asks. He actually has no idea which university they plan to go to, let alone if they are going to go to university at all.
“We’re going to Greece.” Marlene tells him, “We’re going to join the firefighters’ ranks.”
“Really?” James raises his eyebrows up to his hairline.
Dorcas looks at Marlene lovingly for a moment before turning back to the group, “Yeah. When there was the fire in Thessaloniki, we talked to some local firefighters who told us that they really needed new people.”
“And really, we thought that living in Greece to save people from the fires wasn’t too bad of a living plan.” Marlene grins happily.
“That’s amazing, guys.” Mary smiles at them, “Really brave, too.”
“What about you two?” Lily asks, turning to Pandora and Xenophillius, “The shelter thing is still on?”
Xeno grins, “Of course it’s still on. All the money I didn’t put into the wedding went into the shelter!”
“The opening day is going to be very, very soon.” Pandora announces, “We just have to paint the locals and get approval from the British Association of Rescue Animals, and from then on we’re open!”
“That’s amazing, guys!” Marlene smiles at them.
“Are you going to put Juni up for adopting?” James asks.
Pandora shakes her head, “No, Juni is my baby. She’ll make me think of you all.”
“Aw, that’s sweet.” Sirius smiles, and doesn’t say anything when Marlene, Dorcas and Regulus cock an eyebrow at him.
“About to cry, Black?” Marlene taunts.
“Can’t hold the tears in, can’t ya?” Dorcas wriggles her eyebrows.
“One comment about him and he cries.” Regulus rolls his eyes.
“I’m not crying, am I?” Sirius bellows with wide eyes, which make all of them burst out laughing, “God, they’re going to make me cry.”
“I think that’s their goal.” Remus nods.
“It is yeah.” Dorcas nods, “We really want you to win that bet, Remus.”
“What’d you bet for?” Marlene cocks her head, and Remus very promptly goes beat red. What he bet Sirius was something he could not repeat in front of people. Some very, very personal sexual favour that shall be not revealed.
“Oh, it’s something sexual!” Mary points out, laughing.
“I can’t believe I contributed to that.” Regulus frowns.
“Oh my God, you guys are kinky!” Marlene grins.
“I’d expect that from Black, but you, Remus?” Lily gasps, “You’re shocking me to my core.”
“Please stop talking about this.” Remus groans with his face hidden behind his hands.
“Guys, guys, guys, please.” Sirius reigns over the attention, “Who really thought that some guy whose name basically means Wolfy McWolf isn’t an absolute animal in bed?”
“Sirius!” Remus exclaims in shock, then slaps a hand over his mouth.
“Alright, dude, didn’t need to give us the sound effects.” Dorcas mumbles, making them laugh.
“Oh that’s not-“ Remus starts, but ends up sighing, “I might be the one who ends up crying tonight.”
“Don’t be a softie too, man.” Lily stares at him gravely, “We have enough of those with Sirius and Mary.”
“Hey, Lils, not cool.” Mary shakes her head, “Also, you forgot James.”
Lily laughs, “Right, sorry.”
“Hey!” James gapes at them, “I’m not as bad as Sirius. Dude cries over everything.”
Dorcas raises an eyebrow at him, “Well, have you ever done anything tough?”
James crosses his arms, “Well, I just agreed to share a flat with four total strangers in Manchester. So, you know, I’d say that’s a little tough.”
Marlene frowns, “How is that tough?”
“Yeah, it just sounds like you want to get scalped in the middle of the night.” Xeno underlines, “Speaking from experience.”
Remus raises an eyebrow at him, “Ever been scalped in the middle of the night by your four stranger roommates?”
“Yes.” Xeno nods gravelly.
“I stand corrected.” Remus shrugs.
James takes back the lead, “This is exactly why it’s a tough thing to do! I’m risking my life here.” He exclaims, “A softie like Sirius said I’d get killed.”
“No, I think it’s more a sane person’s opinion than a ‘softie’s’ opinion.” Lily nods at James.
“‘Sane’” Regulus quotes, “You do know we’re talking about Sirius here?”
Marlene grins, “And that’s coming from Regulus.”
“Yes, that is disturbing.” Sirius shakes his head “Anyways, we can all agree that this is the last time we’re seeing James alive, right?”
“Yeah, we can.” Dorcas nods.
“Basically.” Lily agrees.
“He’s going to get scalped.” Xeno shakes his head gravelly. This dude’s backstory has got to be insane.
“Why don’t we stop talking about my premature death?” James suggests, making everyone chuckle.
“Right, right, we’ll stop.” Mary smiles at him. Upon her words, in the distance, they hear Moody bellow to the entire group.
“We’re leaving for the airport in thirty minutes! Thirty minutes!” he shouts out from afar. This settles the group back onto this feeling everyone gets at the end of an era. The feeling of leaving something amazing behind, even if it’s to start up something even better. Remus looks around at his friends, and he knows they’re all feeling the same way; even Marlene, Dorcas and Regulus with their hearts of stone.
“When do you all think we’ll see each other again?” Pandora asks, “As a group, I mean.”
Her question settles over them for a moment, until James raises his voice, “I hope everyone will be available for special occasions.” He says, “Even if we’re all going to live quite far from each other, I think we can still make time for each other, right?”
Mary nods, “Yeah. I’ll definitely come up to London to see you guys.” She smiles.
“Me too.” Lily agrees, “We should try to make some somewhat regular thing. Like a brunch or something every few months.”
Remus watches as the idea settles over his friends, as a smile stretches over their faces. He is himself enchanted by that idea: what would ever be better than seeing his friends on the regular? No more wondering if they’ll always be friends if they have regular meetings.
“Yeah, we can do that.” Dorcas nods at them.
“We’re trying to be all tough and all, but we’re really going to miss you guys too.” Marlene offers with a smile, “I didn’t think that in coming on a trip with my two best friends, I’d end up with six additional besties and the love of my life only six months later.”
“Aw. You old softie.” Sirius smiles at her, and Remus can see that his eyes are a little misty. Remus knows that he might end up crying too tonight.
“While we’re being sentimental,” James starts, “I just wanted to tell you all how much I appreciate you. It’s just…we didn’t meet that long ago, but I still consider you all like my closest friends ever. I really love you all, and if I were to do it all again, I wouldn’t change a thing.” He smiles softly at them. Mary has a hand covering her nose, as if she was trying to hold the tears back in. Remus still sees a few fall over her cheeks.
“We love you too, James.” Dorcas smiles at him.
“Yeah, we do.” Mary chokes on her tears, “Stop it, I’m emotional.”
“Wow, that’s all it took?” Sirius raises his eyebrows, “Damn, and you compared me to that?”
Remus raises his eyebrows, “Don’t get too proud now. If I give a speech right now, you would cry.”
“Alright, you’re on. If you manage to make me cry now, I’ll double the thing I told you I’d do.” Sirius challenges, but Remus only raises his eyebrows, ignoring the faint blush crippling over his neck. He’ll never be comfortable even insinuating about sex in public.
“Fine. It’s your funeral.” Remus shrugs, then clears his throat, gaining the group’s full attention, “When we were accepted into the trip, I honestly wasn’t that pumped. I thought that really, it would mean six more months to bear with these assholes,” he points to James and Sirius with a smile, “being forced out of my comfort zone, and mostly, having to share a room with the straight guy I was in love with.” He smiles sheepishly at Sirius, who shakes his head fondly.
“But, well, you kind of all proved me wrong.” Remus continues with a smile. He isn’t usually one for public speaking, but with his friends, it doesn’t feel so dauting. “Not only did my friendship with James and Sirius got stronger, but I also met all of you. And I didn’t know how much I needed you all. How much we all needed each other.”
“Oh no.” Mary gasps, “He’s doing a proper speech.” She says with an expression that tells Remus she is close to tears.
“Shh!” Sirius interrupts her, “Let the man talk.” He presses, with his eyes fixated on Remus. They’re already wet and glistening, Remus notices.
He grins, “Yeah, I want to make him cry.” He shrugs, “So, as I was saying,” Remus looks back around the group to find back his train of thought. He might embarrass himself by being too touchy feely, but really, he doesn’t care. Worse comes to worse, they’ll make fun of him until he dies. No big deal
“More than learning about the world, the cultures and the history, I also learned about all of you.” Remus smiles at them, “I learned about Lily’s gentleness, Mary’s humour, Marlene’s wit and Dorcas’ determination. I learned all the weird things Pandora’s always telling us, and what it meant to be a badass from Reg.” he tells them, always looking at each person in the eye, because damn it he loves them. Even if that makes him a little sentimental sometimes.
“Did you hear? You’re a ‘badass’, Reg.” Marlene whispers in Regulus’ direction, making him roll his eyes.
“And Lupin’s a weirdo.” He says, earning him a swat from Mary, who is slubbering like an idiot.
“Shut up, he’s being nice.” Mary says in between her tears.
“Yeah, Reg. He’s being lovely.” Dorcas underlines, who is, at everyone’s surprise, also crying.
Regulus gapes at her, “You too? God, what is this a preschool meeting?”
“Shut up.” Dorcas sniffs, “You’re the one with no heart.”
“Guys.” Sirius regains the attention, “Can you let him finish? He hasn’t talked about me yet.”
“He said you were an asshole.” Lily smirks at him.
Sirius raises an eyebrow, “And he said you were nice. Which you aren’t right now.” He crosses his arms.
Remus shakes his head, “Guys, I’m right there?” he takes the lead back, “Can I finish?”
“The floor’s yours, man.” James smiles at him.
“Yeah, go on Remus.” Mary adds with a smile as well.
“Thank you.” Remus smiles, “Alright, bear with me, and keep in mind that I really want to win the bet with Sirius.” He disclaims, making Sirius chuckle wetly.
“I think you already won.” He says with tears streaming down his face. Indeed.
“Say it anyway!” James calls out, “He isn’t really crying enough.”
“Fine, fine.” Remus rolls his eyes, “As I was saying, I learned a lot of things on this trip. But really the one thing I learned the most was to love. How to truly love, and accept to be loved back. Because for the past six months, I learned to love so many things: all of you, all the different cultures and cities, and mostly Sirius.” He smiles at him coyly. Sirius returns the smile and blows him a kiss that makes Remus chuckle.
“So, really what I’m trying to say is that I love you all and that I’m going to miss you. And, well, thank you, for the last six months. They wouldn’t have been so special without all of you.” He finishes, and stares at the floor, realising what he just did. The Remus from six months ago would have never even imagined of doing that; making a speech in front of nine people about his feelings, nonetheless. This trip really changed him, didn’t it?
“We love you too, Remus.” Lily smiles, whose cheeks are a little wet as well.
“Yeah, love you, man.” Marlene nods at him.
“You really said it all.” James smiles, “I feel the same way about all of you.” He says, then looks at Sirius, “Well, maybe not the part about you. That’d be kind of weird.”
Sirius shakes his head, “I love you Prongs. Not weird.” He sniffs, “I’m going to miss you all so much.”
“Me too.” Mary pouts, “We’re really not going to lose contact, right?”
Dorcas shakes her head, “No way. We just said we’d have a regular brunch.”
“And you all are to come at the opening of the shelter.” Pandora reminds them, “We’ll see each other in no time.”
“Oh, yeah, right.” Lily smiles, “We won’t even have time to lose contact.”
“Exactly.” James nods, “I’ll still miss you, though.”
“Me too.” Mary offers. In the distance, they hear some shuffling of people moving, and Remus’ blood swoops in his veins. Is it really time to go?
“Guys, I know goodbyes are bittersweet, but we have to go to the airport now.” Moody calls out, “Get into your pairs onto the bus right now!” he shouts.
They all look at each other, all ten of them, happy teenagers who are really young adults, even if they prefer to lie to themselves and still think they’re young and carefree. Regrouped like this, in Iceland for one last time, before heading back to London, to real life, to Cambridge and to class for Remus. He’s looking forward to the future, but sometimes, leaving something this magical is hard. But, well.
Even when we aren’t ready, time still passes. The earth still turns, and Remus has to move along. Even if he doesn’t really want to.
A few hours later, in a plane between Reykjavík and London, Remus Lupin posts the picture Gideon took of the ten of them around the bonfire on his Instagram. He doesn’t put any filter or music, only this single caption that really summarises it, before turning his Instagram account to archive:
‘The end’.