USA
The last few days in Australia started with a killer of a hangover in some room in Adelaïde and ended back in Sydney to catch their flight after two days in Perth. They took the opportunity of having to go back to Sydney for their flight to watch the Vivid Festival of lights before embarking for New York, USA.
Remus thought that it would make much more sense to go to Los Angeles first, seeing as the flight took seven less hours, but for some reason, they were set to embark on a twenty-hour journey with just one stop in Auckland. At first, Remus sat next to James who kept looking over at Lily: from his incessant rant about her and about how lovely she is, Remus deduced that she must be up to warming to him. Sirius is sitting with Mary and the redhead in question, much to James’ dismay, and Marlene is nowhere to be seen, just like Dorcas – Remus thinks that there’s a link there – and Peter is holed up with his girlfriend, to no one’s surprise. Once they change planes in Auckland, the groups don’t change except for James and Sirius who switch, probably James’ idea, and Remus finds himself sitting next to Sirius for the next fifteen and a half hours.
Fortunately, Remus has the window seat, so he can distract himself when the closeness is getting too much, and he feels his heart beating a tad too fast than it should be when hanging out with his best friend. Especially when Sirius puts a movie on, Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory, and puts his head on Remus’ shoulder, asking for pets in his hair. Of course, Remus obliges, he is a weak man after all, and Sirius has no concept of boundary so he doesn’t think it weird when Remus doesn’t stop for even a second all through the movie and still doesn’t after, when Sirius is sound asleep and drooling on Remus’ jumper. Remus thinks that he must’ve fallen asleep as well when the plane starts going down, and when he opens his eyes, he finds Sirius looking blankly at him, a sleepy, puzzled look on his face. Then, he realises that he’s laying against the window, his arms holding tightly onto Sirius who is tucked against his chest.
“Shit.” He says, his voice a bit hoarse. Has he really slept all through the flight? It had barely started when Sirius fell asleep. He blinks a few times to get used to the light and finds Sirius smiling gently.
“Remus? I can’t move.” He says, and mortifyingly, Remus realises that he hasn’t relented on his hold. Red around the ears, he drops his arms at once and looks everywhere but at Sirius.
“Sorry. Didn’t realise.” He clears his throat and sits upright, “Are we in America?”
“Yeah.” Sirius grimaces, “It’s going to be horrible.”
___________________________
Sirius’ dislike for the United States is a debated subject amongst marauders. James and Peter, who are absolute fanatics of the American popular culture and would kill to be frat boys in an American college, go absolutely ballistic every time Sirius and Remus express their dislike. Or well, Sirius expresses it; Remus doesn’t care at all about the subject. Whether he likes it or not, it’ll always be there anyway; but he supports Sirius, because the fight isn’t fair if it’s two against one. And because they call football 'soccer'.
Without surprise, once on American land, the debate continues.
“Look at it! It’s fucking magnificent!” James exclaims, “I mean, it’s just pure talent, to be able to sculpt something like this!” he points at the Statute of Liberty, waving his finger excitedly. He has Remus’ camera around his neck and an ‘I heart NYC’ t-shirt that Remus is certain was bought to piss off Sirius. And it works.
“What? The statute that was gifted by a Frenchman? Are you talking about French talent then?” Sirius asks, cocking an eyebrow.
James blinks, “What? No, it’s American. It’s the Statute of Liberty, in New York. It’s American.” He rationalises, and Remus chuckles.
“Sorry mate, but he’s right. If you’d listened in history you’d know.”
“’If you’d listened in history you’d know’” James parrots, “Swot. But okay, let’s say it’s French, which it isn’t, New York is still great! Don’t you love the vibe of the city?”
“Gustave Eiffel is rolling over in his tomb.” Sirius mutters in a perfect French accent. Despite seven years of having French classes with Sirius, Remus never gets used to it.
“The vibe of the city? Are you talking about the smell?” Remus asks, raising his eyebrows.
James rolls his eyes, “It’s useless to argue with you. And Pete’s not even here to back me up.” He shakes his head, “We’ve not gone to Time Square yet, but you’ll see.”
“Admit it James, you only like the city because of Spider Man.” Sirius rolls his eyes, “There’s no way you can love the US more than the UK.”
“Nah, he also loves it because he thinks that the greasy food doesn’t count if it’s American.” Remus corrects.
“It’s called diet math!” James argues, “And I don’t love it more than the UK, I’m loyal to my country, but it’s still great. Try to tell me that US pop culture isn’t great.” He challenges.
“Us pop culture isn’t great.” Sirius shrugs, “Star Wars doesn’t make any fucking sense, the music’s abysmal and I, for one, don’t think I’ll become a superhero if I wear a cape and a mask.”
James gasps, “You take that back!”
“No offense mate, but the US aren’t that great. And the American dream’s just full of bullshit.” Remus continues. Surprising Remus, James genuinely rolls his eyes.
“You, shut up, you’re just agreeing with Pads.” He says dismissively. His tone is so un-James that Remus stares for a bit before asking loudly,
“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?” his question doesn’t have time to be answered as the girls turn up, redirecting Sirius and James’ attention. They all talk over each other until Lily shushes them and takes the lead, redirecting the conversation completely.
“We’ve been invited to a costume party by some guy who was flirting with Mary.” She explains, and Mary flicks her curls over her shoulders proudly, “D’you guys want to come?” she asks, looking especially at James. Subtle, that.
“Yeah, of course” James answers good naturally, almost nonchalant. “Any excuse to dress up.”
Sirius nods solemnly at that, “Completely true. And Moony’s obligated to come.”
“I’m not dressing up.” Remus warns. Sirius merely rolls his eyes.
“Sure you’re not. Come on, we’re going shopping!” He announces and takes Mary’s arm. She chuckles loudly and throws her arm over his shoulders, a challenge with her small size. They walk over together when Lily and Marlene leave, supposedly to ask Dorcas and Pandora, who, as it turns out, are best friends. All three of them, with Sybill, are a trio at Salazar, an all-girl school back in Dublin.
James and Remus find themselves following Sirius and Mary out of the tourist place where the Statute of Liberty is onto the city, where the thrift and costume stores are. Remus, who hasn’t forgotten James’ comment, asks his earlier question again.
“What did you mean when you said I just agreed with Sirius?” he asks, “Do you think I can’t have my own opinion?” he accuses, really. Remus can and will hold a grudge.
“No.” James answers simply, “I just meant that you’d do anything if it means being on his side.”
Remus frowns, “What do you mean? We’re always disagreeing?”
“Bickering like an old married couple, more like.” James rolls his eyes fondly, “Remus, it’s fine, I get it. I’d like him too if I swung that way.”
It takes a moment for Remus to understand what James is implying, but when he gets it, his eyes widen, and he stares at James bewildered.
“What? What are you saying?”
James looks at him with a knowing smile, “I know, man. I mean, I swore to myself that I wouldn’t say anything to not make you uncomfortable or anything, but it’s been years now. I can’t fucking watch you pine for him any longer.”
Remus, who is already a man of a few words, absolutely cannot find any at that moment. “H-how?” he croaks, still shell shocked. If James figured it out, then surely Sirius has too? Or James told him. He cannot be trusted to keep a secret from Sirius, that much is clear to anyone.
“You’re not subtle, mate. I’m certain that if you saw the way you look at him, you’d get sick. I know I have.” He adds, “But I told you, I didn’t say anything. And it’s been like three years since I figured it out, so you must know that I’m trustworthy.”
Remus frowns, “It’s only been a year or two though. I’m pretty sure I liked King before that.”
“Whatever you say. I’m just saying that I didn’t imagine the way you stared at him when we had swimming lessons in fourth year. Could barely have a conversation with you when he was shirtless.” He rolls his eyes fondly in memory.
“I’m fucking pathetic.” Remus swears, making James laugh.
“Yeah you are. Especially if you don’t do anything about it.” James looks at him warningly, and it’s Remus’ turn to roll his eyes.
“I tried getting over him, it’s just not working. I didn’t try to go out with Alex for the giggles.” He shrugs.
James smirks the way he does when he has an idea for a bout of mischief, and Remus know that whatever he’ll say, it won’t be smart. Or it will be, but insanely dangerous. It’s the latter. “Then embrace your crush. Flirt with him. I swear he won’t know what’s happening to him.”
“You’re insane.” Remus says immediately, “I’m not taking any advice from you anyway. Not until you prove that you know anything about love and relationships.”
Surely enough, later that night, James is dressed as Spider Man, and he’s kissing Lily Evans who is dressed as Mary Jane against the wall of a frat dorm, effectively proving Remus wrong.
_____________________________________
Flirt with him. Flirt with him. Flirt with him. What an idiotic suggestion. Truly stupid. The perfect way to put a stop to their friendship, for Sirius to demand a change of rooms, for him to never speak to Remus again. Exactly the way to end seven years of friendship. Whatever James was thinking.
But then why does Remus really, really want to? Even if everything in him is yelling not to, pulling at the stops and flashing warning lights, sirens screaming ‘abort mission, must hide’, Remus really wants to flirt with him. Even just once. Just to see how it feels. How does it feel to flirt with someone you really like? Someone you’d give anything to have flirt back?
What would Remus even say? What is considered flirting? What is going too far and what would get him called a ‘prude’? Would Sirius blush? Would he laugh? Would he judge him and leave, demanding never to speak to him again?
Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Not like he’s ever going to do it anyway. Sirius might be the only love interest Remus has had in his life since he was sixteen, he is also his best friend since he was eleven. And that’s worth so much more than whatever silly feelings Remus has that make him feel weak but also invincible in Sirius’ vicinity.
His daydreaming is put to a stop when the subway stops, whistling in his ears. He’s in Miami, after five days spend on the northern part of the east coast. They visited New York city with more freedom that they’d had in the other countries so far, maybe the gun access in the country had made Moody more at ease with the safety measures. So, they got sloshed every night, twice with strangers at parties they’d smuggled their way into, and once in a bar, ordering whiskey to seem properly American, even with James’ ‘I heart NYC’ tee he’d worn again.
The fourth day was spent in Washington DC, mostly at President related museums, galleries or monuments, the one purely educational day that Remus is certain bums out Moody as much as them. It isn’t too bad, Remus thinks, as they eat with their newfound group: All four marauders with Mary, Marlene and Lily. They learn that they’re from a school in Dorset, ‘Rowena” and that Lily has an ex there, Severus, who keeps writing to her over text. This greatly upsets James, even though she said she had threatened to block his number if he didn’t stop, and so they all take turns making fun of him, pretending to be in doom and gloom. All in all, the fourth day is a win.
The fifth is spent in Chicago, which is lovely and punctuated by Peter’s jokes about Irish people, because of the celebration of St Patrick’s day in the city. It is funny, if not frowned upon by his very Irish girlfriend, and the day full of walking, just like every other day for the last month, ends with a game of the Chicago Bulls. Peter and Marlene, the only ones who follow basketball are yelling, cheering on the team and the rest are simply drinking beer. It’s by no means an important game, but it’s nice nonetheless, to sit with a beer and watch men do sport with his mates. Feels manly. Something his dad would do. Does.
And now, here they are, in Miami, on the sixth day. They’re supposed to head to Vegas the next day and then onto L.A. for the remaining of the trip. Remus is secretly looking forward to this, because he wants to see what the big deal is about this city, but he won’t be caught admitting it.
It is all very disturbing, as they leave the subway and walk over on the streets, to think that they haven’t done half of their trip yet. Not anywhere near close. And yet, Remus feels like it’s been years since he’s seen his mother, since he’s been near anything familiar that wasn’t James, Sirius or Peter. He’s feeling homesick, he realises, and how is he ever going to be fine? They’re about 20% through their trip, and Remus finds himself missing England, Wales, his home.
“You okay?” Sirius asks, tilting his head to look at him, “You seem distracted.”
He shrugs, “I’m fine.” He pushes the thought in the corner of his mind and follows the rest of the group. They visit the city, which is admittedly not that long, then amble onto Miami Beach. Moody tells them that they’ll have plenty of beach time in Mexico and Brazil, and that they’re not missing out on anything: it’s June and brazen hot, but Remus can bet it’ll be worse in Latin America. Gideon and Fabian convince Moody to let them eat on the beach, and they start a small bonfire while some girls go get a bunch of pizzas for everyone. There’s beer going around, James, Sirius and Marlene have started playing football with a bunch of locals, Lily is talking and giggling with Mary, Peter is making out with Sybill, and Remus feels happy. And yet.
“Hi mum.” He speaks onto the receiver as he walks further from his friends. He doesn’t necessarily want people eavesdropping on him.
“Hey! About time we got word from you! How are you?” she asks in her warm motherly voice. This is what he was missing, and it feels like a take of fresh air.
“I’m good thanks. How is it back home? I’m sorry I didn’t call.”
“Hmm, yeah you should be sorry.” She mocks, “It’s fine, it’s fine. The ewes are lambing just fine, we’re getting more twins than ever this year! This is going to be a great season.” She explains, and Remus can visualise it; his old farm, the ewes in the barn taking care of their newborns. Hope talking to them like they’re friends more than animals. “And I’ve made you a bunch of jumpers ready for university when you come back. There’s some for Sirius, James and Peter too.”
Remus chuckles, “They’ll like that, thank you. Is Snuffles alright?” he asks. He has, after all, been missing his favourite dog: his big, black Border Collie who is better at cuddling than at any of the tricks Remus has attempted to teach him. Remus loves him endlessly.
“He is, missing you though.” She says, and sighs, “So, how is it then? You’re in the States now, are you?”
“Yeah, yeah, Miami. We’re going to Vegas tomorrow.” He says quietly. He never likes talking about himself to his parents, much prefers listening. It's just how their dynamics work.
“Don’t gamble now, Remus. You know how quickly it can become an addiction. I do hope you haven’t been influenced into trying cigarettes, have you?” she warns, and Remus’ fingers twitch around the fag he was planning on lightning after the phone call.
“No, of course not. I do intend to die old.” He lies and smiles to himself, thinking back to Sirius’ retort when some prefect had caught them smoking ‘If smoking is wrong then I don’t want to be right’.
“Good. Now tell me, did you meet some people there? Made some new friends?” Hope asks, and Remus can almost hear the next question before it comes, “Perhaps any girls?”
He groans, “Not again, mum!”
She chuckles, “What! You’re eighteen, it’s bound to happen now! I don’t want you getting eloped without telling me, what your bugger of an uncle did.” She mutters under her breath, making Remus chuckle. He raises his head and finds Lily walking over to him.
“I have to go, mum, I’ll talk to you later.”
“Alright, I love you darling.” She says sweetly.
He clears his throat and hangs up, feigning as though he didn't hear. He can’t still quite bring himself to say it back, stupidly. He raises his head and smiles when Lily reaches him.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” She says, offering him a beer that he takes gladly.
“Don’t worry.” He opens his can, “Cheers.”
“The boys are waiting for you. We’re playing never have I ever.” She grins, and Remus can do nothing but follow and groan after her.
_____________________________________
“Get the fuck up we’re waiting for you!” James bellows from outside the door while banging on the door. Remus is awoken with a start and checks his phone: 7:50pm. They arrived at the hotel around 3:30 and went to sleep immediately, too tired from the plane. The jet lag is getting very violent between all the time changes, and Remus doesn’t have any sort of corporeal clock anymore. They were supposed to be downstairs with the others for dinner at 7:30, and Remus can only picture Moody’s face when they’ll get there.
“Shit.” Sirius mutters next to him, “We’re coming Prongs!” he shouts and flops back on the bed.
“What are you doing? We have to go.” Remus says around a yawn. He really is exhausted; walking in heat of Miami was more draining than usual.
“Yeah, but I took a shower before we went to sleep, and you have to go shower. So I have like ten minutes left.” Sirius explains, a self-satisfied look on his face.
The thing is that Sirius is right, so Remus swears under his breath, smells himself and swears louder before hopping in the shower. He uses the hotel soap as he didn’t bother to take out his suitcase, and realises, five minutes later while drying himself, that he didn’t take out his suitcase and therefore didn’t take any clothes with him. He stares at his reflection in the mirror, at the three slash shape scars stretching across his torso, white and old but still very visible, and thinks that really, it was about time one of his friends saw it. Seven years of sharing a dorm, and this is when his best friend will see his scars for the first time, in an hotel room in Las Vegas. It is already insane that he was able to keep that secret for so long.
Remus decides not to think about it longer, wraps a towel around his hips and heads inside the bedroom, where he looks immediately for his suitcase. He opens it, finds a pair of underwear that he puts on under his towel, jeans and a green tee that he thinks will be fine. Ignoring Sirius with all his might, he shrugs off the towel because it is anything but practical, and he is on a ticking clock, after all, and puts on the jeans. He swears again under his breath and walks back in the bathroom to put on Sirius’ deodorant – he really ought to buy one, he’s been meaning to since Adelaïde when his old died – and walks back in the room, still shirtless, to find Sirius gawking at him. He's red in the face, staring directly at his chest, and that makes Remus feel bold.
Flirt with him, the voice in his head whispers. With a rush of adrenaline, he looks straight in Sirius’ eye and smirks when he finds his cheeks all different shades of red.
“Like what you see?” he asks, biting over a grin, because Sirius Black is staring at his naked chest, and that doesn’t happen every day.
He hears Sirius swallow, his eyes still not moving from Remus’ lean torso, “You have scars.”
Remus’ brain lags, but then his body seems to catch on faster than his head. It makes the right move and shrugs on the green tee shirt over his chest hastily, like covering up something that was never mean to be seen. It is true, in a way. He hasn’t hidden his scars for years for no reason.
Sirius must’ve felt Remus’ discomfort, because he adds, still looking at Remus’ chest, where now lays the tee shirt, “It’s really hot.”
Remus whips his head around so fast he has whiplash, and stares at Sirius. He feels like his brain dysfunctions, his body dismantles itself from his conscience and blushes all over, some of his blood running directly south, and his heart takes control and flutters beautifully at the words. He’s speechless, and the silence looms over them like tension, and Remus thinks he can feel it in the air with how thick it is. Then, without any cue, Sirius stands up and says with a normal, completely unbothered voice,
“Let’s go then. They’re waiting for us.”
_____________________________________
Remus absolutely doesn’t dwell over it. He doesn’t replay the whole thing in his head, doesn’t have Sirius’ ‘It’s really hot’ on a loop in his head, making him stop his movements all the time. He’s really chill about it, really. He doesn’t blame Sirius for tripping him into a nap after the flight, he doesn’t blame himself for failing to wake up in time, doesn’t blame James for his stupid, horrendous advice and above all, doesn’t overthink his every word around Sirius.
Except that he does. All of it, especially the last one.
Vegas is a nightmare. That same night, he follows Sirius into the common room of the hotel, which is also a casino. It makes Remus think about that one episode in Friends, and he really hopes he won’t do as many mistakes here as the characters did. Well, he already did one; he flirted with his best friend, showed him his scars that he swore he’d never show to anyone and was called hot in return. So that’s that.
They stay for just a single night, Moody claiming that there’s really nothing to see there outside of the grandeur of the casino, and they truly intend to make the most of it. James prides them in having had a good sleep and says that they won’t sleep again until the plane to L.A. which is not until ten the next morning.
Mary and Marlene provide them with five bottles of vodka, whiskey and gin, and it’s not long until they’re properly wasted, playing blackjack and poker like they know the rules. Remus clings to James and Lily, promptly crashing their date, but they don’t seem to mind. Remus is pretty sure James knows something is going on with him and Sirius, seeing as Remus flees as soon as the raven-haired guy approaches them. As the night stretches on and as the alcohol takes over his mind and body, he forgets all about the awkwardness and cheers on Marlene as she plays the roulette, Sirius by his side. When she wins, he crashes a fat kiss on Sirius’ cheek in cheering and slings his arm around his shoulders. They spend the whole night together, drinking, laughing, gambling and cheering on their friends. At some point, Sirius bets that if he wins at blackjack, he’ll kiss Remus square on the mouth, but he loses and doesn’t kiss him, much to Remus’ dismay. It’s a very fun night, and if Remus were slightly less drunk, he’d realise that the way Sirius’ thumb is on his hip where his arm is draped, tracing circles, or that the way he leans forward to whisper in Remus’ ear to be heard over the noise is much too intimate to be seen as platonic. He’d realise that Sirius doesn’t let him get out of his eye, and that he turned down two girls already to stay with Remus, something he doesn’t do often. But Remus is far too inebriated and doesn’t realise.
The next morning, when they wake up on the floor of their hotel room, neither of them can recall anything of the night.
L.A. is much quieter. The eighth day is spent with a killer hangover, and no one enjoys the visit, so after an hour of ghostly walking along the streets, Moody, who has with his own dark circles beneath his eyes, allows them to go back to the hotel to sleep. They only reemerge at night to eat, feeling healthier than before, and they take a walk on Venice beach, where a Ferris wheel stands. It only takes a glimpse of it for James’ eyes to widen and for him to jump a few times before begging Lily to let him take her. She agrees on the condition of him buying her a cotton candy, and he beams positively when she does. They walk over together and are quickly followed by Peter and Sybill and later by Marlene and Dorcas who have finally started dating, if Remus is not to be mistaken. He did ask Mary a few days ago, and her information is usually very valuable; she is a gossip queen after all.
Speaking of the devil, she strolls up to meet Remus’ level and smiles when he takes her far too large bag of Lakers merchandise – apparently, her brother is an absolute fanatic.
“I’m not being cute; this bag is just the same size as you.” he warns her.
She rolls her eyes, “Shut up, Giant.” She looks right and left and leans in to talk more covertly. Her gossip voice. “Where’s Sirius?”
He shrugs, “I don’t know, he was here before they left for the wheel.” He looks around, and yeah, Sirius is nowhere to be seen. It saddens Remus, but it’s clear where he is: off with some Californian girl. It has been a while, after all, since he’d disappeared off with a stranger. He’s not surprised, even if it stings a bit.
“Then we can gossip about him.” She grins and punches his shoulder, “You didn’t tell me you were seeing each other!” she exclaims.
Remus narrows his eyes at her and chuckles, “Who told you this?” he smiles with his brows furrowed. It’s amusing, what people will find to say when they’re bored.
“You, just now.” She smiles smugly, “I knew it. Just the way you look at each other” she shakes her head, a far away look on her face as if she was picturing it.
“We’re not. I was doubting you just then.” Remus clarifies, “We don’t look at each other in any special way.” At least Sirius doesn’t. Remus can’t be expected to control his eyes as well as everything else.
“Right, come on! I’m not judging, you can tell me.” Mary rolls her eyes, “It’s not like you guys were very discreet last night.”
Remus blinks a few times, “Last night?” he asks, staring intently at her. What doesn’t he remember?
“Well sure, you didn’t kiss or whatever but you were very touchy. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen two friends act this way.” She elaborates, and it makes much more sense.
“No, it’s nothing. We’ve always been like this. James and Sirius too.” He shrugs, “He’s very cuddly.”
Mary stares at him for a moment, until she seems to come to a conclusion, “Anyway, you’ll be together soon enough. I can feel it.”
For all intents and purposes, Remus doesn't correct her.